Chapter 203: Meetings Interrupted by Meetings
"And you're absolutely sure this is correct?" As Parker questions his new boss, Xenia gives him her widest possible grin while she leans back into the chair behind her office desk. Laeniel was still recovering in Parker's bed, enjoying room service breakfast courtesy of the barbunnies, but her husband had arranged a meeting with the dungeon spirit at her earliest opportunity to confirm what her message to them had written out.
"Don't take my word for it, that's straight from Kahlia. I've got a quest going on from her to have five kids conceived within the dungeon bounds. It was at four out of five, then boom, seven out of five. And you two were the only two going at it at the time." After she says that, her expression shifts into a slight frown. "...Fuck, I wonder if I'll have a way of keeping track of that once the quest is turned in. People have probably started to rely on me passing out those cards...I might have to ask her about that the next time we chat. Which is gonna be damn soon."
Parker has to pause slightly at that statement. "You just...casually schedule appointments with a goddess, do you?"
Xenia chuckles at the suggestion. "Actually I barge in on her unannounced, she's never actually given me a way to call ahead, now that I think about it. But yeah, technically I think it's supposed to take anywhere from a few hours to like, days even for a guy's little swimmers to actually get to their target, so it's only cause we've got the divine stamp on things that we can say for sure everything went like we wanted so quickly." She hesitates a little before asking a question to clarify. "...Well, did it, actually? I know triplets weren't exactly what you were expecting."
"Expecting!?" Parker slams a palm down on his chair's armrest, and winces a little as it hits harder and louder than he was expecting. "Madame Xenia, for a full-blooded elf, pregnancy is infrequent, and twins are rarely heard of. Neither of us have ever even heard of an elf woman bearing triplets! Did...did you have something to do with that?"
"First off, you can drop the titles, Xenia or Xen or whatever is fine. I mean, not that I was trying to pry, but I did see you giving it to your wife six ways to Sunday last night, let's not pretend this relationship is that impersonal. Secondly..." The dungeon master has to stop and consider her actual answer for a bit before she continues. "Well, sorta, probably. When I think about it, there's probably a bunch of factors that coulda helped out. First off, yeah, I bet all those potions she was taking did a lot of it. Unless it turns out the kids are identical, those probably woulda done the heavy lifting on getting her ladybits over-eager with the eggs. Then there's you, and, well...the Church's fertility tests aren't that detailed, but I'm betting you're packing a lot more arrows in your quiver than the average dude, you know? And, hrmmm...possible she might've had a little bonus buff to fertility going on top of all that."
The Rabbit Patriarch's brow furrows. "You mean like from an enchanted charm? We'd considered picking one up if we needed to, or asking you for one perhaps, but we didn't actually have any of those."
Xenia shakes her head. "This one's a dungeon secret so don't go spreading it around, but we've got an extra boost from Kahlia - every floor a Challenger clears gives em a temporary fertility boost. Normally clearing a floor means, for the most part, killing the floor boss and getting out alive...but Floor Five's a safe floor. So maybe just walking in and then out again got the job done?"
Parker leans back into his seat, quietly exhaling. "Well, if we had all that adding up...perhaps it's not so surprising after all. Gods, if Laeny were a dwarf or a gnoll rather than an elf..."
"Yeah, so going back to my question...are you alright with it going this way?"
The guardian barely hesitates before giving a firm nod. "It will be an adjustment to our plans...but Laeny is
an accountant. As far as the financials go, if anyone can make it work, it's her. She may need some hired help, given that I won't be around much, but...we'll make it work, I'm sure of it.""Yeah..." Xenia's voice fades out for a moment, until she sighs and comes to a conclusion. "I know we said before that I wasn't promising anything concrete for child support, but fuck it. I was holding back because I haven't really been paying folks here and I didn't want anyone getting jealous, but...the mana cap is high enough these days that I hardly ever spend it all down anymore, even with me stockpiling loot drops and stuff. I don't want to be a miser or nothin' while your wife's doing the single mom thing, cause I know how hard that can be with one kid, let alone three. So consider a stipend granted - enough to hire you a nanny or something like that, alright?"
The relief in Parker's face is plain to see. "I really didn't want to ask for more, you really have given us so much already. But I'm not too prideful to accept help when my family could sorely use it - so thank you. Thank you so very much, Xenia. We'll have some time before it really becomes necessary in any case, given that elf pregnancies usually last for a year and a half."
The dungeon master waves his thanks off with an embarrassed grin. "God, a year and a half with triplets, now I feel really sorry for her. And, ah, don't worry about it - this was a win-win deal for both of us, and honestly in the long term it might still be better off for me, given your, y'know...indefinite term of employment."
"I doubt I'll have any cause to regret our arrangement. Speaking of, though...what's next from here?"
"Hey, just cause you hit the target on your first shot doesn't mean you gotta rush things, alright? I know you and your wife have been waiting for this for a long time, so as far as I'm concerned, your employment hasn't actually started yet. Take a few days, hell, a week if you want, and have yourselves a honeymoon, yeah? Besides, turning you into a proper floor boss is gonna be a little more involved."
The rabbit's expression shows a hint of concern. "How so?"
"Well, the Patriarch model can fight but it's not really ideal for it...not really thematic for Floor Seven, either. I am working on a new model for you, a combat model, but there's a chance it might not be as...charming as what some of the other folks got. Lollyp can shapeshift to match her old form, we've got an illusion spell on Sincere, and Taly's not too much more than like, a palette swap and groody fingernails, but what's cooking up might be a little more monstrous for you. So we might need to do an arrangement where we swap out your body on a regular basis. But that could be harder on you since you'll need to spend that much extra time getting used to yourself."
"Is 'swapping bodies' a difficult process?"
"It ain't...painful or anything like that. But it can be disorienting, and it's something that requires my specific focus and mana to do, so it ain't something to do multiple times a day if there's not a serious need for it. But I think it'll be worth it, assuming you like what you got now for chilling on your off-duty hours."
Parker looks at his right hand as he clenches it into a fist. "I am still getting used to it, yes. But after my experience last night? Odd ears and fur aside, I think I can state that we're both very satisfied with what you've provided."
Xenia grins. "Great! Now, feel free to swing by the inn on your way out and grab yourself and Laeniel some more breakfast, she seems to have really worked up an appetite from the looks of it. Me...I got a date with a goddess to get ready for..."
Half an hour later, Xenia is alone in her meditation chamber and attempting to get her thoughts in order for her next divine meeting, and attempting to disconnect herself a bit from the numerous Challenger groups starting to go about their day, when Guy appears to ruin her efforts. "Ah, morning, ma'am. I know you said you were going to be busy, but I'm afraid you've gotten a request for a meeting which you may wish to consider."
"Someone's coming to me for a meeting!? Today? Okay, now that is some shitty fuckin' timing. Who could it be..." She returns her focus to the public inn once again, and feels a bit confused. "...Why are there a bunch of elementals in the inn? They doing something weird again?"
Guy shakes their screen in a negative. "Actually, that's entirely unrelated. I believe Sincere's been in touch with the elemental community lately relating to a request for an elemental-based Challenging party. A request from that drider and earth elemental, actually, whom you may be familiar with? But so far there don't appear to be any issues regarding their behavior. I'm referring to the...other party of note in the inn this morning."
"Other...oh, it's those dweebs." Xenia frowns as she identifies the Perlins sitting at a table, apparently waiting for a response to their meeting request. "Not really in the mood for em, and I'd really like to check in with Kahlia...but I'm probably gonna end up being even busier after that one, so suppose I might as well get this out of the way. Did they have a specific topic in mind? Not that I can't guess."
"They would like to make amends for their poor behavior, and advance a proposal for your support, apparently."
"Yeah, figures. Took em damn long enough, really." The dungeon master sighs. "Alright...have the staff send em to the shrine meeting room we used yesterday, I'll pop Em back in their frame. And if Sincere isn't busy herding elementals, have him come along too."
"Right away, ma'am."
Although all five members of the Perlin expedition's main party had made their way up to the dungeon that morning, Priest Redbeard and Protector Taylim were made to wait in the shrine's main chamber, due to the relatively small size of the actual meeting room. Redbeard was actually rather delighted to have a chance to inspect a dungeon-made shrine in detail, although Taylim did get a little twitchy about being separated from his charges in a dungeon. He did take a post next to the meeting room's door, though, so if anyone did start getting stabbed he'd at least be quick to respond.
Arlon, Raylin, and Sansie meanwhile are directed into the room by the shrine's acolytes, and are rather surprised to see two identical-appearing demons sitting on the other side of the table and waiting for them. While they do recognize Sincere from their previous visit to the dungeon's core chamber, they're a little confused at how the man managed to double himself. Smirking a little at their obvious confusion, one of the demons gestures towards the empty seats.
"Please, have a seat. Allow me to provide introductions. I am Sincere, and my colleague here is Emmett. The master of the dungeon is present for the meeting, but we'll be speaking for her."
Arlon nods as he takes the center seat on the near side of the table, but still has to ask for further clarification. "I've heard a few stories of your origins, Guardian Sincere, so I'm aware you're a reincarnate. Is...Emmett also such an individual?"
The other Sincere grins. "No, it's part of a new negotiating tactic we're trying out. You see, one of us always lies, and one of us always tells the truth."
Sansie's brow furrows. "You're joking, yes?"
The first Sincere rolls his eyes. "That was a joke, yes. We are taking this meeting entirely seriously, I assure you."
Emmett's grin only grows, however. "Unless he's the Sincere who lies, that is."
Raylin seems about to respond to that, but whatever he was going to say is silenced as Arlon puts a hand on his shoulder. "...Right. In any case, allow me to begin with a full and proper apology. We're aware that we led our former companion and friend, Deylia Niyen, to betray the dungeon's trust. That was a mistake on our part as much as it was hers, and although we did not seek out to have a spy among your staff, the decision to use her information ultimately comes down to me. Therefore I would like first to beg forgiveness on her behalf, and that you grant her leniency, and secondly, that you allow us to make amends for our foolishness."
Sincere - probably - nods in response. "We respect your willingness to take responsibility, even if it was perhaps a little overlong in coming. I should let you know that the dungeon master does not intend to go any easier on Deylia because of it, but her punishment will be a temporary one so long as she doesn't repeat her mistake."
He pauses, and Emmett adds additional commentary. "She would also like to note that she's glad you're not quite so prone to being 'self-absorbed, self-important nitwits like most nobles'. It does speak well that you'd provide support to a former servant."
Arlon needs a moment to react to that comment, before his voice eventually comes out with one of his default responses. "...Thank her for the compliment. As for the second part..."
Sincere again takes control of the conversation. "We're willing to hear you out. Be aware though that the biggest mark in your favor is that we wish for House Highbranch to have some actual competition in this little, well, noble competition of yours, and so we're not about to disregard you out of hand. That said, it does depend a fair bit on what your actual proposal is. So if you'd like to proceed...?"
"Certainly." Arlon turns towards his smiling cousin. "Sansie? Would you like to take over?"
"Thank you, cousin. Now, we're aware of the claims that Worthy Dungeon is located atop the empty ruins of the long-dead Great Dungeon. Very little of it is known in the Rainlands, as the Dragonlord abandoned it well before we controlled these lands, and it appears that they destroyed the dungeon in their exit rather than allow it to fall into enemy hands. We never even knew of its exact location, only that the Dragonlord had once made their capital in or near a large, ancient dungeon. That said, the noble houses of our kingdom have discovered a few things relating to the dungeon over the years and our many conflicts with our southern enemy."
Emmett raises an eyebrow. "So...what, then? You have secrets of the Dragonlord you would share with us?"
Sansie's grin grows wider. "Something more concrete. How would you like to have one of the Lost Treasures of the Great Dungeon?"