Worthy Core

Chapter 199: Dressing for a Funeral



Parker fusses as he looks at his wife in the mirror, while Laeniel brushes his hair to her vision of perfection. The entire setting seems far too comfortable for the man - while the couple had spent a night renting a room at the General, the bargain-rate offering of the small town's two inns, Bountiful Mother Hammerdown had invited the pair to stay in a guest room at the Church's own housing for the rest of their stay. The building - almost like a small mansion - had apparently been acquired with the idea of eventually housing the full staff for a much larger presence than the Church of Bounty currently had, and more than half of the bedrooms were still unoccupied. Several were still almost entirely unfurnished as well, but this particular room had been prepared for any traveling clerics and the like who needed a place to stay.

Aside from the mirror itself, a large furnishing with an elaborately-carved frame in a floral theme, the chamber had perhaps the nicest bed he and Laeniel had ever spent the night in. Not only was it large, but it was literally brand new, and the pair had almost felt guilty about breaking it in. Almost. The other furniture filling the large room was just as luxurious, but the green-colored outfit Parker was now wearing was something they had brought with them as it was the nicest outfit the man owned. Also the one he'd worn the least in his life, for the same reason, being a man who rather preferred functional wear over style. "You sure it's important we get all dressed up like this, Laeny? You know we do need to hike through a forest and then up a mountain, in the cold, before we actually get to the dungeon?"

Laeniel chuckles at the complaint, having entirely expected it. "First impressions are everything, dear. Besides, look on the bright side - if things go well, it will be the last time you ever wear it."

Parker chuckles along, the two of them having shared more than a few morbid-sounding jokes like that over the past month or so. He does squirm a little more before responding, though. "At least it does look good, I suppose. Never having to wear binding wraps again will be an even bigger win, I daresay."

"It is the little things, sometimes. Now, turn and let me get a good look at you." Parker turns his head as requested while Laeniel sits down next to him on the bench-like chair in front of the vanity, allowing the two to see eye-to-eye as she brushes an errant hair back into place with a finger. "Ah. You're even more handsome than when I married you."

The Headsman grunts at that, having his own opinion on the changing of his features. "The wrinkles do it for you, do they? My beard is much better now than it was thirty years ago though, I'll agree."

"Oh, they're not so bad." The elf looks into her husband's eyes for a moment before changing to a more serious topic. "So, my love...are you certain about this? This may well be our last chance to change our minds."

The man's brow furrows in confusion. "Really, Laeny? Have we not had this conversation enough times by now? Gone over every argument, for and against?"

"We have, but we're going to go over it again, one more time. I don't...I don't want us to go through this with anything less than a hundred percent certainty. As much as I've always wanted children - we've always wanted them - you know I've always wanted you more."

"And I feel the same." Parker takes a moment to kiss his wife's lips before continuing. "But of course that's not the entire story. I don't have many years left, Laeny. And I am a greedy human man. I've accepted that you may find other loves after I'm gone, but I'd prefer it if I could have you all to myself."

"More years than you seem to think, my dear! You're not even sixty yet - you could still have multiple decades left in you, you know."

The Challenger shakes his head with a snort. "That's being overly optimistic. The tricks I learned in my Master training might buy me an extra year or two of work, perhaps...but I'm getting old, Laeny. I can feel my bones creaking every time I pick up my ax. When I do a hunt in the forest, I say I'm going slow because I've learned caution, but the truth is I couldn't rush it much more if I wanted to. By time I'm...sixty-five, at most, I'm either going to have to retire, or every time I pick up a bounty or a monster hunting job I'm going to have a fifty-fifty chance that I won't be coming home to you."

Laeniel answers that with a shrug. "Then retire! You've done well for yourself, and with my scribe income we have more than enough to support the both of us. It's not as if you need to prove your strength to me, not anymore."

This time she leans in for a kiss, which Parker accepts. "I'm not too proud to say I wouldn't do it. If my only option were to sit on the porch and grow old with you...I'd count myself a lucky man. But as I said, I am

still greedy. If there's a better option...eternal youth, nearly free for the taking? Perhaps I won't be able to spend it on your porch, but it sounds as if this strange dungeon is more than willing to be accommodating. If I could only see you a few days a month...but that future stretches for centuries into the future? I know you're better at math than I, but I suspect that option adds up to the superior sum of days."

His wife nods, but her gaze wanders along with her thoughts. "But it's not exactly free, is it? Not only will you be transformed into some monster, but you'll need to kill. And not graybears or ghoulsquirrels, but people. I know you've had a run-in or two with bandits along the years, but we're talking Challengers here. People like yourself!"

"Aye, I'm not looking forward to it, it's true. But think about it like this - wouldn't it be better if it was me? The dungeon needs some sort of boss for its floors. If not another 'applicant', then it will have something fully monstrous. And how much mercy does a Greater Acid Slime or a Vampire Lord or a Flame Sprite Ifrit have towards a Challenger? None, I can tell you that. If there must be an executioner, then better it be a just hand wielding the ax, aye?"

"I suppose that is true. You won't be just a wild monster, after all - you'll be a servant of the gods, in a way. In that respect I suppose it's quite a promotion."

Parker grins, although it fades after a moment. "I suppose the biggest downside on my mind is that I will need to be with you as, well, a monster. I hope it's not too terrible an experience for you."

This time as Laeniel's gaze wanders, there's a blush on her cheeks. "Well...I don't know that I'm worried about that, exactly..."

Her husband isn't sure if he's hearing her correctly. "Have you been...fantasizing about a monstrous version of myself? To think that I'm still learning new things about you, after all these years!"

"I mean - well, it's just - you see..." The elf stammers, not sure how to explain. Eventually she leans in with a whisper, as if the walls might be listening. "Paladin Bluehair came by earlier and gave me a bottle of, ah...'special' lubricant. For the night, you see. Along with the fertility potions I told you about."

Parker's brow furrows again. "I'm not sure I follow. This rabbit-thing needs something extra to get the job done?"

"Well, you see, apparently Sable's seen the...template of monster the dungeon's created for the purpose, and she says it's...hefty."

"...How 'hefty' are we talking about, here?"

"...The Paladin, ah. Loaned me a special toy of hers, to help...practice with." Without saying another word, Laeniel stands up and moves towards one of the dressers, and begins digging around inside. Eventually she pulls out an item which, had he found it himself, Parker would have assumed was some sort of self-defense weapon, or something to use to kill vermin with. "...The lubricant helps quite a bit."

Parker's eyes grow wide. "...And you...enjoyed it?"

Laeniel's blushing increases. "With a bit of practice, it does have its merits..."

"Well." Parker stands up, doing a final check of his outfit as he does so. "I feel like the argument's been settled, then. All in favor of me becoming a dungeon monster for the rest of our days, say aye."

Laeniel face breaks out into a smirk. "Aye aye."

 


 

The trek to the mountain was rather enjoyable, despite the chill in the air. While it had been a great relief to find out that dungeon bosses here weren't entirely confined to the dungeon, Parker still made the effort to soak in every moment he could of the forest hike. It could be his last breaths of fresh air as a fully free man, and somehow that thought made him feel more alive than he had in years. That said, by time he, his wife, Mother Hammerdown and Paladin Sable had finished climbing the mountain itself, they were all rather relieved to finally get indoors.

Once inside Worthy Dungeon the group briefly made their way through the public inn before finally ending up at the still mostly-unused Shrine of Kahlia. The two acolytes, Fay and Lin, greeted the party at the shrine entrance before directing them towards an office in the back, however it takes them a moment to get there as the vowed couple need to pause and gawk at the room's gigantic statue for a little while. Eventually they do manage to get moving once again, and once they actually get back there they find that the room is apparently specially decorated for the occasion. A rather sizable mirror had been installed on one wall, encased within a thick wooden frame, while most of the room was taken up by a conference table. Waiting for the new arrivals were four more figures - Trush, Deylia, Priestess Fullblossom, and apparently, the Dungeon Master Xenia herself. As Elance Hammerdown notices her sitting there, her eyebrows rise.

"Popped your avatar for the occasion, did you? Hrmm, I think I was saving a biscuit somewhere for this moment. But, hold on now - you've fixed that odd coloring issue you seemed to have?"

Indeed, while the woman's hair is still striped in black and white, her skin is properly flesh-colored in an apparent first for the dungeon master's avatar. Despite that, the woman shakes her head with a smile. "Sorry, nope - I'm afraid I'm not the Girlboss herself, just an interpreter. You can call me Emma! And you two - I'm assuming you know Lilly here, but these here are Rabbit Champion Trush and Trainee Priestess Deylia." She offers a handshake across the table, and after a round of greetings is done Sable picks up with Elance's questioning.

"Emma? I'm...confused. Are you a new boss? Did another applicant sneak in ahead of us? And why do you look like the dungeon master?"

Emma smiles, not seeming to mind the questions. "Not a boss, or an applicant - totally soulless, but in a fun way! Xenia is here in the room with us right now, but since it seemed like this could possibly go on for more than an hour, we figured we'd try out having me speak for her. Don't worry, the rabbit duo here can keep me honest if I try to play anything."

Elance peers at the soulless figure sitting across from her. "Would you be inclined to 'play' something, lass?"

Emma's smile remains. "No more than Xenia would!"

"...I'll take it as a positive that we have the others here, then. So, this all seems a little more formal than it was when Trush came by...I suppose you have had time to prepare a bit more this time around, eh? Did you, Xenia, have a specific agenda on how you wanted to handle this?"

The reflection nods. "Lilly here's already established Parker's background for us, his Challenger history and all, so we think we can skip over that part of the interview. The main matter on Xenia's mind is, well, to be blunt about it - we're hoping to use Parker here - and you, Laeniel, in order to satisfy our divine patron and Lady of Curves, Kahlia. But we don't want this to be one-sided, we want to be sure that you're getting enough out of it as well to feel like you're getting a fair bargain." Focusing her full intent on the couple, Emma's eyes seem to stare through them as she asks her next question.

"So tell me, Laeniel. Why do you want your husband to die today?"


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