Wishlist Wizard: The Rise of the Zero Hero [Isekai LitRPG / Now releasing 3x weekly!]

Today's Earth date: October 18, 1991

When the sun came up this morning, the undead retreated. None of us knew why, but we weren't about to complain.

Too tired to go anywhere, we agreed to rest there and plan our next move. Before noon, three cultists approached our camp–one man, two women. The man rode on the back of the biggest wolf I've ever seen. Must have been the size of a horse. One of the women rode a moose, and the other rode a bear. They kept their hoods up, and some kind of magic kept their faces in shadow.

We thought we were under attack again, but they kept their distance and offered to broker a peace treaty.

A peace treaty? In a kidnapping?

-The Journal of Laszlo the Paladin

***

"We should ask Sammy to make pancakes," Fergus said as the party stepped through the dungeon entrance. "They're magical."

Outlawson was where they left him. Wayne dismissed the mount.

"I have a sausage omelet recipe," Margo said. "The secret is a little bit of maple syrup mixed in with the sausage."

"Wouldn't it burn?" Fergus asked. The party moved slowly, tired and sore from the crawl.

"The trick is to mix it in with the sausage after it's cooked but before you fold it into the eggs."

"Ah, wouldn't have thought of that. We should ask Sammy for omelets too."

Margo agreed.

Wayne quietly enjoyed the party's banter and savored the victory. He had officially completed 2.5 dungeon runs in this world. He regretted establishing the half measurement in his personal dungeon tracking system. The number not being a round 2 or a 3 bothered him immensely.

A soldier in the watchtower announced the party's return.

"What are the chances they have a bathhouse?" Fergus asked.

Hector and Armond belly-laughed at that. "Going to have to toughen up, Fergie," Hector said.

Fergus scowled.

As the party split off, Penelope and the captain approached the gate to speak with Wayne. Seeing the ill boy in his arms, they escorted him to the infirmary.

"Okay to debrief?" the captain asked as they stepped outside, leaving the boy in the care of the camp healer.

Wayne said sure and asked if they could do it right there instead of walking back across camp. For his part, the report was brief. The den mother was dead. They found the Governor's son, and there was a beautiful piece of history waiting for them downstairs.

The captain asked why they left it.

"It was heavy, and we needed to get back quickly."

The captain accepted that answer. "And you mapped it as well?"

"Yes, just have to put it on paper."

"What?"

Wayne pointed at his head. "All in here."

Though he was skeptical, the captain thanked Wayne for the help and told him there was paper in the lab if he needed more. Then he left to organize a clean up team.

"How did you do that?" Penelope asked.

"Teamwork."

"I'd love to hear more about it. Would you mind if I went back to Asplugha with you?"

"Not at all," Wayne said. "I'd like to hear more about your research too."

Penelope dipped her head and looked up at Wayne. "Yes, we can share. Sounds fun."

"We'll leave around noon tomorrow."

"I won't be late."

***

Sammy and Penelope joined Wayne and the Zeroes at the tavern. They pushed two tables together to fit everyone, and Wayne told the bartender to keep the ales coming.

"It seems to me that we haven't applauded Armond for his quick thinking," Fergus said, raising his mug. "You may have saved our lives with your anticlimax."

The party toasted to Armond. He smiled and graciously joined in raising his mug.

Hector raised his stein next. "We can't forget to toast Margo. It was such a relief to look over my shield and see the ratman archers get a taste of their own bullshit. An arrow in a rat's eye, beautiful sight."

Margo blushed and sheepishly thanked the party for their kindness.

As the party descended into recounting a myriad of tense moments, Wayne turned his attention to Penelope and asked about her research.

"Until 120 years ago or so, the first dwarves were a myth," she said. "They are mentioned briefly in epic poems and in passing in a few letters, but we had no proof they actually existed."

"Until the discovery outside of Taluprom."

Penelope hit Wayne's arm, jokingly. "You know more than you let on."

"I told you, I'm a scholar."

"The first dwarves aren't everyone's favorite subject. You never know."

Wayne said he understood and asked her to proceed.

"Anyway, that dig proved their existence, and it's been a race to find more ruins ever since. Do you know what all the sites have in common?"

He did not.

"They are always sealed, and you've seen how strange the layout is, as though they wanted visitors to get lost. But you know what people aren't talking about that they should?"

Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.

"What's that?" Wayne asked.

"Can you keep a secret?" Penelope asked, but before Wayne could answer she put her hand on his and said, "Of course you can," and pulled her hand back. "There is no artifact radius. Ever."

Wayne didn't know what she meant by artifact radius.

"A village is a centralized location, right? Everyone lives there. All of the business is done there. Yet, people leave traces of themselves anywhere they go. A hunter might drop an arrow. A farmer breaks a few tools. A cart full of pottery takes a bad bounce and all shatters. All sorts of little pieces of history are spread around that one place."

"Artifact radius."

"Right, and the first dwarves don't have that. Not a lost coin, or a fishing cabin, or even a skeleton. Nothing. The only evidence that they existed is inside the walls of a sealed settlement."

"That is weird," Wayne agreed. The party cheered in unison. Wayne wasn't sure for what.

"Weird and very unlikely, to the point of impossibility. A world-spanning civilization and not one dwarf loses a single piece of garbage outside a settlement? It defies logic."

A lesson from Introduction to Anthropology came to mind. Archaeologists relied a great deal on garbage, actual trash, for understanding a past culture. Wayne took a long drink from his stein and signaled the bartender that he'd like another. "Or maybe items have been found but they were misidentified. In my world, people would find a painting in their attic, then ignore it for thirty years, and come to find out it's some rare piece worth millions."

"That happens here too."

"That seems the more likely explanation to me. Maybe it's not that no items have ever been found. Maybe it's that no items have ever been properly identified."

Penelope looked up at the ceiling in thought. "That's interesting."

"I mean, I admit that's a stretch," Wayne offered. "With sites uncovered, experts know what to look for to match up the item with the right civilization. You're right that it's strange that hasn't happened, even once."

"Now it's your turn," Penelope said, slyly. "What has gotten the legendary Zero Hero into dungeon diving?"

Wayne scoffed at being described as legendary. He was, perhaps, legendary in the way that the lightsaber kid on YouTube was legendary, but not legendary in the way the Chosen Heroes were. "I'm trying to learn more about the overlap between my old world and this one."

"How do the first dwarves play into that?"

"Rich people will give me a lot of money for exploring them, so it's fun and profitable, funds my primary interests."

"Your answer is really 'for the money?'"

He shrugged. "I enjoy history and am curious about it. I've not seen any tangible connection between the first dwarves and Chosen Heroes, though. I feel like there is but that's just a feeling. Question for you: How did you connect with Miss Kryss?"

"I submitted a research proposal. She accepted it."

"I didn't know she did that."

Penelope nodded. "She was willing to take a chance on me. I proved myself with that first project, and then she offered me this dig."

"What was the first project?"

"Core samples of Teagaisg," she answered. "We know the city is old, but we've never been able to put an age on it. With core samples, we can go back in time and see every layer of the city, century after century."

"That is interesting. How old is Teagaisg?"

Penelope laughed. "We're identifying the materials we extracted now. We'll know more when that's done."

Wayne felt a shift in his mind, like all of his thoughts suddenly slowed. He was tired. Very tired.

"I think I'm going to call it a night," he said. "I really enjoyed this conversation. Thank you."

"I think I'll do the same. Walk me up on your way?"

"Sure."

After discussing his tab with the bartender–putting a few gold pieces down now as a promise he'd settle the bill for the party in the morning–he went up the stairs. Penelope went first.

When did she let her hair down?

Her door was the second on the left, and his was at the very end of the hall. "This is me," she said.

"Well, goodnight."

"You know…" she said mischievously as Wayne turned to walk away. "You should come inside so we can talk a bit longer."

"I appreciate it, but I'm exhausted. Happy to talk more in the morning if you'd like."

And Wayne went to bed.

***

Armond was awake before anyone else in the party. Wayne found him sitting in the tavern at dawn, reading a book.

"Trouble sleeping?"

"Nah. Slept fine. Old habits, you know?"

A life spent in the military would forge habits, for sure. "Anyone else up?"

"I saw that Penelope woman leave maybe half an hour ago. Seemed angry."

"Leave, leave?"

"Think so. Had her bags and never came back."

That's weird, Wayne thought. He replayed their conversation in his mind and couldn't find anything he said that might have offended her.

"What's next, General?" Armond asked.

"General?"

"Trying it out."

Wayne chuckled. "Head back to Cuan for some time off. Fergus and I have some library work ahead of us, and we'll work on lining up the next job. If our research works out, we'll be back in this forest but near a different mountain."

"More dwarves?"

"Possibly."

"What if we don't find what you're looking for?"

"Well," Wayne began, "We have at least one job no matter what, and that's to map the Water Temple for a collector."

"Ah, but only you can go in."

Wayne said that was true. "At any rate, if we do run out of jobs to complete or leads to chase, we'll hook Outlawson up to the wagon and head northwest."

"I don't understand this system," Fergus complained as he stomped down the stairs. "One night's rest and my cuts close and my muscles recover and my hitpoints fill back up, but I still have a damn hangover."

The door behind the bar, the one to the kitchen, opened and Sammy poked his head out. "Good morning. Didn't know you all were up yet."

Sammy disappeared and reappeared, coming around the bar with a covered dish. He revealed a plate of steaming hot croissants and gooey chocolate chip cookies.

"You found chocolate in Asplugha?" Fergus asked.

"No, sir. Brought it with me."

Fergus hugged him. "You're a wonderful person." The old man grabbed a croissant and pulled it apart.

"Croissant soaks up the booze, cookie gives you a lift." Sammy smiled proudly. Wayne tried a cookie and said they were excellent.

And they were.

As Hector and Margo stirred, Wayne and Armond went outside to hook Outlawson up to the wagon. The Mayor made a point to shake their hands and wish them well, saying they were welcome in Asplugha any time.

On the journey back, Wayne found he had to stay on top of the party to keep them focused in battle. After fending off an entire nest of ratmen, a six-goblin raid was like armwrestling a child. The temptation to goof off and to succumb to overconfidence was dangerous, he insisted.

They did, however, get to use those battles to test their new abilities.

Hector unlocked a skill from Phantasy Star II:

Aegis Shield – As effective as Gires magic.

Nobody knew what Gires magic was, and the skill was grayed out until a goblin arrow knocked 5 hitpoints off of Hector. Activating Aegis restored it. Hector was pleased. That would be very useful for a tank.

Armond got a new spell:

Deban – Creates a dense air barrier that keeps the enemy from attacking.

A dome surrounded the party, centered on Armond when he activated Deban. None of the random encounter enemies could get through. Wayne said that was an excellent spell and would be very useful.

Margo got a new skill:

Doran – Impairs an enemy's aim so his attack misses its mark.

When she tested it against a goblin, it was like the monster suddenly got drunk. Its movements were clumsy and it telegraphed every attack, making it even easier to fight.

And Fergus got a spell:

Gra – Create sudden gravitational waves that compress whatever is in the area.

When Fergus used it on a goblin, it burst outward as if a hydraulic press had come down on top of it. The spell was effective, but Fergus got blood on his clothes and was very upset about that.

When Cuan came into view, Wayne became aware of what his life had become, as if looking at it from the outside for the first time. He rode on the back of a giant insect. He could cast spells and use special powers. He had gold in his pocket, and a party in his wagon.

And lots of road ahead.