Winning the male lead

Lin Le Tian, the Nine-Thousand-Year eunuch, was incredibly busy.

Originally, he thought he could just laze around in the palace, eating imperial meals, being served by others, traveling by sedan chair, and sleeping on a warm bed—just muddling through and surviving until Zhu Chuchu grew up.

But unexpectedly, the pile of documents on his desk was almost several feet high.

With a numb expression, he asked, “Don’t I have subordinates to help with this?”

System: “You do, but these are the more important affairs. You don’t trust others to handle them.”

Le Tian: “…” Why was his personality so paranoid?! He was exhausted!

His body was delicate and weak, and he had little stamina. After reviewing one document, he had to rest for a while. The rate at which he approved documents was slower than the rate at which they were delivered. Even after working all morning, the pile remained just as high.

Le Tian: Every day, I just want to die.

Frustrated, he muttered, “What’s the point of being the Nine-Thousand-Year Lord if it’s this exhausting?”

The system responded ominously, “That’s why he became mentally unstable.”

That… actually made some sense. With a gloomy expression, he called for his meal.

His body was extremely weak. Although the palace had the best chefs in the world, he couldn’t enjoy gourmet food. Every meal was medicinal cuisine.

One dish after another was brought in. The smell alone made him want to throw up—it was unbearable.

The little eunuch who served the meal tasted each dish first. Le Tian observed him carefully and noticed that the eunuch’s expression didn’t change. He didn’t even frown, meaning the food probably wasn’t bad.

After the food had been tested, he randomly pointed at a dish. It was soft, white, and tender—probably fish or something similar.

But the moment he took a bite, he internally cursed. What the hell?! There’s no taste at all!

The system nearly burst out laughing. Its meticulous world selection had finally paid off—it had made him suffer silently, with no way to complain.

Unwilling to compromise, Le Tian put down his chopsticks and coldly said, “Take it all away.”

In this palace, his word was law. His eunuchs feared him, but they didn’t respect or love him. Since he said he wouldn’t eat, no one dared to persuade him otherwise. They simply obeyed and removed the dishes.

He pulled his fox fur coat tighter. “Prepare the carriage—I’m going to the Eastern Depot.”

Hmph, I’ll go find good food at the Eastern Depot.

The Eastern Depot was the bloodiest place in the Yong Dynasty. The system had no idea why Le Tian thought he could find food there—if anything, he’d find corpses.

The depot wasn’t far from the palace. A short turn past the Dong’an Gate, and he’d be there. Le Tian chose to take a sedan chair—don’t ask why. His bones felt achy and cold, and taking a carriage would be too drafty; he’d freeze to death.

The system didn’t know how many times it had secretly laughed—it was utterly delighted.

The Eastern Depot, though run by eunuchs, was grand and imposing. Le Tian glanced up at the towering structure and remarked, “he sure had high ambitions.”

System: “Maybe because a certain part of him is too small, so he compensates in other areas.”

Le Tian: “…”

System: “Pfft pfft.”

Le Tian was furious. Even though he wasn’t actually Lin Le Tian, living in a body that was naturally dysfunctional was still frustrating.

The inside of the Eastern Depot was different from what he had imagined. The people who bowed to him were all tall, strong, and muscular, their voices deep and powerful. None of them seemed like eunuchs at all.

The eunuchs in his palace were all delicate and effeminate.

Including himself.

He had a private office in the depot for handling affairs. Upon entering, he ordered the brazier to be lit, then dismissed everyone. This matched his usual personality—he disliked interacting with people.

Once alone, he immediately began rummaging under the table for snacks.

He was too cautious. His palace residence didn’t even have a plate of pastries—probably out of fear of poisoning. Only here, in the Eastern Depot, where he had absolute control, was there a plate of plain pastries and a bowl of fruit for him to snack on while working.

The pastries were soft and sweet. Though plain, the chef’s skill was exceptional. He ate greedily, crumbs falling everywhere. He had no manners at all—he even used his hands to catch the crumbs and tipped them into his mouth.

“Too bad there’s not more.” Le he finished the entire plate in one go, slumping into the grand chair and shaking his leg.

The scene was so absurd that the system seriously considered applying for a self-imposed blackout feature.

Lin Le Tian was a workaholic. He wouldn’t come to the depot just to eat pastries. To maintain his character, he rested for a bit, then obediently picked up the Eastern Depot’s documents.

He hadn’t even gotten far before he was shocked.

The depot’s documents were even more absurd than the palace reports—they were practically a gossip magazine.

One official recited a poem during breakfast, subtly criticizing his control over the court.

Another official mentioned the previous dynasty while playing bedroom games with his concubine—possible treasonous intent.

A certain official named his dog ‘Lezi’—a suspected insult to Lin Le Tian.

Le Tian: “What the hell is all this? Are the Eastern Depot agents so bored that they just spy on people’s conversations?”

System: “That was your order—you required constant surveillance of all officials.”

Le Tian: “…I must have been seriously deranged.”

Flipping through a few more documents, he found that most of them were baseless accusations and conspiracies. Annoyed, he summoned an attendant, coldly slamming the reports onto the desk. “Who wrote these?”

The attendant replied respectfully, “Your Excellency, these were written by the newly appointed Jinyiwei Centurion, Han Qi.”

Le Tian hesitated, then turned to the system. “Jinyiwei?”

He pressed on, “Jinyiwei aren’t eunuchs, right?”

The system grudgingly replied, “…No.”

The man kneeling below had long since broken into a cold sweat, silently cursing Han Qi a thousand times over. Just what had he written to displease the Nine-Thousand-Year Lord?

“Summon him here.”

Hearing the command, the attendant practically fled the room as if granted amnesty.

Before long, Han Qi arrived.

The young man lifted the curtain and entered, tall and statuesque. His towering height nearly made his round cap brush the doorframe. Dressed in a crimson brocade robe embroidered with a golden flying fish, he carried an ornate sword at his waist. His features were sharp and well-defined, exuding a heroic air. Kneeling, his voice was firm and unwavering. “Jinyiwei Centurion Han Qi pays his respects to the Nine-Thousand-Year Lord.”

Le Tian was stunned. “Brother, you’re so handsome!” Suddenly, he didn’t want to die anymore!

System: “…” A miscalculation.

Le Tian nearly drooled, but his face remained as cold as ice. “Look at the memorials on the ground. Did you write these?”

Han Qi picked up the documents, flipping through them one by one before cupping his hands. “Yes, I wrote them.”

“Raise your head.”

Let me get a good look at your handsome face.

Han Qi lifted his gaze and met Le Tian’s eyes. As Le Tian scrutinized him, Han Qi also observed the eunuch who held dominion over the court.

The infamous Nine-Thousand-Year Lord, known for his ruthless and sinister ways, was shockingly beautiful. His pale complexion lacked any hint of rosiness, yet his brows and eyes radiated an intoxicating allure. Han Qi only spared him a single glance before lowering his eyes.

No wonder rumors claimed Lin Le Tian seduced the emperor to gain his power.

Han Qi’s expression remained indifferent. Le Tian, however, couldn’t help but let his thoughts run wild. “Why won’t he look at me? Is he stunned by my beauty?”

System: “You’re his superior. Do you think he dares to stare at you?”

Le Tian was elated. “I’m so good-looking—could he have fallen for me at first sight?”

System poured cold water on his fantasies. “Don’t forget, you’re a eunuch.”

Le Tian instantly crashed back to reality. He reached for a teacup, hoping to cool his emotions. Deliberately, he ordered, “Pour tea.”

Han Qi stepped forward and gracefully poured a cup of hot tea. As Le Tian accepted it, he lightly brushed his fingers against his hand. The moment their skin touched, Han Qi instantly withdrew his hand and stood quietly to the side.

Le Tian sipped his tea and coolly remarked, “Stop wasting time on trivial gossip in your reports. Focus on real work.”

“Yes, I accept the lesson,” Han Qi responded obediently, but Le Tian keenly sensed that this man wasn’t as deferential as he appeared.

Le Tian: “Handsome and aloof… If I could sleep with him, I’d die without regrets.”

The system immediately intervened, “Cough, cough! Eunuch! Eunuch! Stick to the character!”

Lin Le Tian had clawed his way to power at any cost, unwilling to be beneath anyone. Due to his innate defect, he had developed an extreme inferiority complex, turning him into a twisted man who only found pleasure in tormenting others. There was no way he would ever engage with another man.

According to his persona, he should despise men like Han Qi—tall, strong, and strikingly handsome.

Reluctantly tearing his gaze away, he coldly said, “Do your duty well at the Eastern Depot. You may go.”

“Yes.”

Han Qi lifted the curtain and strode out. The falling silk veil obscured his imposing figure from sight.

“Ughhh, he is just too handsome!” Le Tian, left alone in the room, nearly clutched his chest in agony.

The fitted flying fish uniform accentuated Han Qi’s broad shoulders and narrow waist, showcasing a perfect inverted-triangle physique. When he had poured tea just now, standing beside him, he had to be at least 1.9 meters tall. His fingers were long and slender—Le Tian slammed the table in frustration.

What should I do? I really want to touch him! He definitely has abs!

If he ordered him to strip so he could admire his muscles, he would probably obey without question. The problem was, there was no excuse for him to make such a request—it would completely break character.

Seeing Le Tian’s miserable expression, the system was absolutely giddy. Finally, it was his turn to suffer.

After flailing helplessly on the grand chair for a while, Le Tian finally accepted his fate. “Fine… I shall remain an untouchable beauty, admired but unattainable. My cursed, ethereal beauty is destined for loneliness.”

System: “…That actually sounds like a pretty good ending.”

Meanwhile, Han Qi walked out with the memorials in hand. As he turned a corner, he spotted a brazier on the ground. Without hesitation, he tossed the documents in, his expression devoid of emotion.

Eunuchs bring disaster to the nation.