Why are you special?

I actually know exactly where the Prophets are. All deities in this Fractal do: It's part of how we can talk to them. Which also means Earth, Air, and Water know exactly where my avatar is hiding. It's such a joy that they can't directly tell their Champions where I am, while I don't need to tell mine. Yes, I'm cheating. And I want to wait until the magic finishes collapsing to move in on them.

While I wait, I direct my Time Clones to tending to the recently deceased - reviving them with quick True Resurrection spells and immediately trapping them in soul gems and tossing them into my crafting plane for safe keeping.

It doesn't take long for the magic to fail… and yes, the three Champions are moving towards the same point. They were previously commanding the armies, but those are gone now. Well, the dangerous one first….

Air's Prophet is an Elf Wizard, Winifred by name. She has white hair going down to her knees, and is wearing long gray robes that almost entirely cover her body. The gloves, boots, mask, and goggles cover the rest of her skin - all color-coordinated, some nice patterned shades of lighter and darker gray that all work together. Mud ruins the effect, though - all of it fresh. And she is cursing fit to make a sailor blush. With the state of her outfit, and the specific things she's cursing… I kind of get the impression she's not used to walking, and now has to run.

The plan is going smoothly so far. I catch her while she's moving, out on the open battlefield, and have one of my time clones Greater Teleport into her path and drop the Invisibility... and I use a Persistent Trap The Soul on the Prophet when she blasts away my Time Clone with a truly massive blast of lightning, the heat of which melts the ground into glass a good twenty feet to either side of the bolt's path… which runs a MILE.

I am SO glad that wasn't me.

Seconds later, her soul gem joins the others in my crafting plane. I do set it aside, though: She's going to need special handling when I let her out, as I can't really make her defenseless.

Water's champion is easier. With the magic out, Roger is just a rogue with no spells or magic items. And even if he could beat my Perception with his Stealth, I would still know exactly where he is, because I'm a deity and he's a Prophet, and that's just how it works here. OK, no, I can't kill the little leather-clad halfling, but I wasn't planning on doing that anyway. My decoy does the deed of trapping him in a gemstone, depositing him next to Air's champion, after he too is caught in the open.

Earth's champion is a Dwarf Druid; her name is Debbie, and no, I have no idea why there's so much alliteration here. She doesn't have an animal companion, my Divine sight as I close tells me she went with the Plane of Earth domain instead for her Nature Bond. It's a fair one - the limited version of Earth Glide is obviously handy. She's dressed head to toe in items that would be magical, I imagine, if the magic was on. They're all dyed different shades of brown.

But the magic is not on. And without an animal companion or magic, a Druid is just a second-rate warrior. Anything I do to affect her directly is going to be negated by my brother, Earth, so I can't just toss her in a gemstone for later, but that’s hardly the only way to contain someone. I catch her at her rendezvous point with her disposed companions, and surrounding her with three Wall of Iron spells arranged in a triangle, causing her to need to climb a sheer wall to get out. A fourth makes a ceiling thanks to False Gravity changing what counts as “down” for me, and she's quite stuck.

Or at least, that's what I thought. Tremorsense disabuses me of that notion by giving me updates on her position as she ducks down through the ground and pops up on my side of the iron walls. And her gear is lit up under Arcane Sight.

“How?!” I shout out, knowing I'm giving away my position, and shuffling to the side in time to avoid a Flame Strike at the spot I just vacated.

“The blessing of the Earthshaker makes me invulnerable to such puny tactics as killing the dungeon!” is the response she screams out as she turns and focuses… “As well your silly anti-divination measures!”

Oh, Brother. Brother, you really shouldn't…

I put the battle on pause by visiting him.

We're at his place… a cave in the side of an active volcano. It's lit by glowing rivers of rock running down the tunnel. I can feel the heat, but it doesn't bother me. This is, fundamentally, an office for taking visitors and a space to relax.

My brother Earth is still a seven foot tall human-shaped mountain of muscle, with very dark skin and the smell of freshly turned soil about him; his coal-black hair frames his face, and his eyes are diamonds tipped with sapphires... they're looking quite hard.  There's a dull red glow from inside him as he opens his mouth to speak. He doesn't bother with a shirt… and here in his home, he's not bothering with pants, either. His rod currently hangs down to his knees. Yikes.

“My eyes are up here,” he rumbles out, catching me staring.

I adjust my gaze, and get to what I came here for, “Don't kill yourself over this, brother. To make that blessing work that way, you're paying exceptions for…”

He interrupts, “Every item she's wearing, every spell she casts, every ability she uses that leans on the dungeons. I'm paying for it all. It's the only way to win, Sister.”

It won't work… “You can't afford it! I know roughly what stores you have. Our sister had kept you on minimal rations for ages, and I only just put you back where you're supposed to be. You don't have those kinds of reserves, and all I want is…”

He's not letting me finish, “To have me ignore my mandate! I won't do that!”

That's not… “Not ignore it, just let me handle it without bloodshed. Yeah, it'll take longer, but…”

“I've already waited too long. My ex-sister…”

OK, my turn to interrupt, “A ‘leave of absence’ isn't permanent! She'll be back, regardless of what happens to me when she does. She's still…”

“SHE IS NOT MY SISTER. I WILL NOT LOSE TO A NEWBORN. I KNOW BETTER! WE WILL SETTLE THIS NOW!” His shouting sounds like a volcano, and his eyes are lighting up from the inside.

There's nothing I can say to this guy, is there? “I won't let your Prophet kill them all, my brother. Please yield before you run out of power.”

“THEY'RE JUST MORTALS. BEGONE!” … and just like that, we're done talking and I’m no longer in his office.

At least that bit of useless effort didn't cost any time. Of course, that also means Debbie hasn't had time to cool down. I switch strategies, as I don't want to kill my brother… but the interference clauses apply, so… “Debbie, don't do this. I can clean this place up without bloodshed, it’ll just take longer…”

She charges, shifting into a giant cat, “Jolly thing to say after killing nearly thirty thousand people…” what, can't she … right, my spellcasting isn't identifiable. I guess she has fast wild shape and beast speech to let her do that?

I dodge both claws, both talons, and the bite pretty easily: My optimization is insane, “Soldiers: That's the ride they signed up for. And even at that, I just trapped them, I didn't kill them. I plan to release them one at a time, explain their capture, strip them, issue them a civilian kit, and exile them, letting them go so long as they never return.” And if I can convince you to stand down, maybe Earth gets to live too….

“PROVE IT!” she growls out, taking more swipes, this time actually hitting with one of her claws… and apparently, she’s invulnerable to Damage Reduction… that actually hurt. Skipped my eidolon and straight into my actual flesh, even. Huh. No matter, regeneration will take care of it in a few rounds, and I have a lot of hit points to burn through.

“Fine then! Follow me!” I take the Withdrawal action (it prevents an attack of opportunity from the first five feet of movement, but normally prevents most offensive actions), and make a distance between us based on her current form… leaving me JUST out of reach, assuming she’s on the Haste spell or similar.

… which she is. She’s also very hopped up on adrenaline it seems as she screams at me: “COWARD! You can’t run!”

Yes, I can. Quite effectively, too. I keep out of Charging range, always JUST five feet beyond what she’ll be able to cross and still strike me, pausing when she casts a spell (and auto-acing the save via Divine Providence when she does). I flag my companions and servants on what I’m doing, how shooting her is useless, and please get the doors open so we don’t need to wreck them. The large cats are quite fast, so in almost no time at all, I’ve led Debbie where I want: The garden within my district.

That FINALLY gets her to shut up, “What is this?!”

And she actually stops, too. Great! My brother might live yet. I get close enough for a conversation, “Plants, magically seeded and accelerated for growth within similarly purified soil. These ones are food crops because I won’t get much cooperation on stopping the strip mining and cleaning up how they do the refining and forging from people desperate to survive, so my first step is to feed the city… but I promise you I’m planning on cleaning up the surroundings similarly. It’ll take time, and that’s all I’m asking of you: Stand down, back off, and give me a few years to do this without bloodshed.”

Debbie stares at me… and begins a conversation with “empty air”....