Whispers of the soul

The pain I feel inside hits me like a tsunami,

Wave after wave, relentless and raw,

Emotions attack like savage beasts,

Devouring me slowly, savoring every flaw.

It's mental, I know, but you can't see,

You can't feel the hurt that eats me alive,

The agony turns physical, takes my breath away,

And in that darkness, old habits revive.

I'm trying those techniques, but they don't help,

So I slip back to what soothes my mind,

That addiction feels better than this endless fight,

Quieting the voice that says I'm worthless, unkind.

My identity crumbles like sand in the tide,

Who am I now, lost in this storm?

Fear of abandonment whispers in shadows,

A longing for connection, yet I feel so forlorn.

I know I'm not in a good place; I've hit rock bottom,

You think I'm not trying, but you just can't see,

My sadness feels like death, leading to anger,

Not at others, but at the failure of me.

Guilt eats at my soul, saying I'm weak,

"Look at you—you're stupid for feeling this way.

You don't deserve better, just end it all now,

Nobody wants you; just fade away."

Yet beneath the waves, a flicker remains,

A whisper of strength, though my heart feels the strain,

In this battle of shadows, I search for the light,

To reclaim who I am, to rise from the pain.

I'm tired of drowning; I crave solid ground,

A refuge from chaos, a place to be found.

So I breathe through the waves, let the storm rage inside,

And in the depths of the struggle, I'll learn how to ride.