Chapter 22 - Deflated Anticipation
"I'm a teacher, not a tyrant." ~Shallies Mythernal
Grace felt her body move on its own. She was in a perfect state. One of mind, one of body, and one of soul. She felt like she could even take on Arun'dul's cursed form and beat him without effort, just as Shallies and Valor'el had. It was an absurd feeling, unbelievable.
And yet, for all its impossibility, it felt within reach.
That's when the feeling started to subside. She was running out of mana at such a rapid state that it hurt to keep moving, let alone breathe. She didn't stop chasing the sensation. The clearness in her head was turning into a blur, despite trying her best to prevent it from slipping away.
She couldn't hold on any longer. With the next breath she took, she woke up in a sudden jolt. Her throat burned, and she was gasping for air. She was sweating all over, but she felt cold. And there was a splitting headache thumping with her pumping heart.
Grace turned every which way before finally realizing that she was back at Shallies' tavern. The two sofas were arranged so she could sleep in the dining area. She turned to the bar counter and found the semi-retired Godkiller there, drinking some tea with Apple.
Feeling somewhat compelled to apologize, the half-orc forced herself to calm down and pushed herself up, despite her body begging for her to just go back to sleep. She noticed it was already evening, and that Ren and Tayin were already probably back in Cinterbrim Town.
Did I just waste a day of training?
"Good morning—evening," Shallies said, pouring a cup of tea. "I'm sure you have a lot of questions, but let's get rid of your headache first."
"How did you know?" Despite her question, Grace dragged her feet and took a seat across the bar. She took a sip of the tea, letting its bittersweet herbal flavor quench her parched throat. It instantly rejuvenated her. She could feel her mana reserves recovering. "Mana in the tea?"
"I mixed a mana potion with the brew. It helps dilute the effects so the sudden influx of mana doesn't shock you. You practically exhausted everything you had throughout the entire day."
"What happened to me?" Grace finally asked. "I felt so calm, and then suddenly so lost."
"You meditated using The Perpetual Method," Shallies answered simply. "Or at least, you did it the way I did the first time I experimented on that path."
Grace looked in confusion as the semi-retired Godkiller smiled expectantly. There was something in that statement. A lot of things, layered on top of each other. The headache, though steadily soothing, didn't help her with going through what she was supposed to be understanding.
"I don't understand…" Grace clutched her head with one hand. "You mean I came up with the same thing as you?"
Shallies shrugged. "A little. In my case, I was already prepared and had a bit of knowledge on how it would put me in a trance, if I'm not careful. You, on the other hand, did it on your own without any instructions, so the result was to be expected. Rather than nurturing your mana-flow properly, you released it instead. We had to wait until you were fully spent to avoid accidentally damaging your mana-channels."
"Does that mean Ren and Tayin skipped training?"
"I gave them something to practice, but no sparring."
"I see… I'm sorry."
"Mmm…" Despite this, the semi-retired Godkiller was still smiling at her. "You have no idea what you just did, don't you?"
While sipping more from the mana-tea, Grace silently shook her head.
"I've told you numerous times how difficult The Perpetual Method is to perform. It's a technique that you constantly use for the rest of your life, where you control your mana-flow to as much of an extent as possible. Valor'el took a year as a Hero Class to do what you did, and he was one of my fastest learners.
"Yet, you, Grace. You did it without instruction, and you haven't even touched the middle levels of your Base Class. Though flawed, acquiring a serene state where you have absolute unison with your mana, even if it was only for a few minutes, is already an achievement no one has ever done."
"No one?" Grace pondered on that implication for so long that only the sound of her teacup clinking with the saucer brought her back to reality. "Not even you?"
"Not even me." Shallies, Grace knew, was observing her with keen interest. With a smile, the Godkiller rested her small head on one hand, just casually waiting for her point to sink in.
She certainly felt proud. Grace. But at the same time, she was confused. The desire to return to the field, to try The Perpetual Method once again, was certainly there, but she was feeling completely lethargic. The mana-tea was helping, but only with her mana reserves. The rest of her body wasn't anywhere near as recovered.
"The most important part is resupplying you with mana," Shallies said, reading the half-orc like a book as always. "The rest you can recover normally, but draining yourself completely empty of mana will endanger your channels. It's important to recover your reserves right away, but the way you messed yourself up also prevents you from taking a full potion without feeling nauseous. You don't need the extra hassle."
"Thank you," Grace said. It felt natural to say. "I'm not sure I follow everything, though."
"Well, if I spell it out for you, do you promise not to let it go into your head?"
The half-orc reluctantly nodded.
"What you did, although dangerous, wasn't something any of my students, or those who know of The Perpetual Method, have ever done." Shallies smiled. "Even the rare sort of people, with the talent to copy others simply by looking at them, will find my method impossible to replicate on day one. You're the first, Grace. The first to have ever figured out how to do it without any proper training, and within the same day you were shown it as well. In short, you're a one in a twenty-millennia talent."
For some reason, that cleared her head. Grace's eyes widened with surprise. It sounded grand, important even, as if Shallies had been waiting for her to appear this entire time.
"Well, you show the signs, at the very least," Shallies added, deflating Grace's thoughts of grandeur. "Talent, no matter how rare, won't prosper if you don't work hard. Besides, even if you can do it again, you shouldn't. There are steps you need to take first. As far as I'm concerned, you're already ahead of a lot of people, so there's no need for you to rush and put yourself at risk. Do you understand?"
Grace awkwardly nodded. "I think so, Shallies."
"Good. Now go rest. Even though you've just woken up, I'm pretty sure you're still sleepy. We can clean up here. Go take a quick shower, then straight to bed."
"Yes, ma'am."
The half-orc finished her mana-tea before heading up the stairs. Her mind was still a blur. No longer aching, but the information and expectations she just acquired still felt like anchors pinning her at the bottom of the sea.
She could feel something looming over her. Something profound, and heavy. Her mind was racing, too anxious to even consider rest despite her body pleading her to sleep.
That sensation… It was so powerful—
"Oh, and Grace?" Shallies called out. "I know all this sounds a little too much for you right now, but if you need to keep yourself grounded, I'll just remind you that you still have that egg trial to accomplish. Put everything aside for now, and focus on that, and your upcoming quest. When you expended all your mana earlier, it caused the Protection Orb to lose its function. If you hadn't preemptively stuffed it with cloth, the cradle egg would've cracked by now."
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"Oh…"
Grace stepped down from the stairs and retrieved her pack, pulling out the Protection Orb that Valor'el had given her. Immediately, she ran some mana into it. She could feel how small her mana reserves were right now, but the orb didn't require an absurd amount. The act allowed her a quick reflection.
Shallies is right.
There was no time for Grace to be complacent. It was the Godkiller herself who had placed such expectations on her, and she must meet them confidently. Whether she was truly an astronomically rare talent or not didn't matter. She had to work hard or nothing would come out of it.
At the very least, Grace took it as a sign that she was on the right path. She bid Shallies and Apple good night and went to bed.
Shallies was smiling the entire time. She had taught many students in the past, and almost all who had graduated reached the pinnacle of their generation.
But Grace… If I'm strictly talking about potential, she probably surpasses them all.
"I must admit, it's a little scary whenever you wear that smile, Lady Shallies," Valor'el said as he went down the stairs. He joined her and Apple for some tea. "I rarely see it, but it's enough to send chills up my spine."
"You saw her, Valor'el," Shallies began. "I'm sure you can gauge how far she can go."
"Yes," he replied. "It's exactly that which makes me afraid. She's but a child, Lady Shallies. In just a few hours, the amount of growth she must've gone through can't be measured by mere levels of a Class.
"When I first successfully meditated using The Perpetual Method, I could feel it. Like I could conquer the world. Like I could kill gods, just like you did. It was a maddening and addicting feeling. We both know that you are the best teacher between the three of us, but Grace is unprecedented."
"I get what you're trying to say," Shallies said, still wearing her smile. "I won't push her so much that she trips and falls down. Besides, she still has to pass my test."
"Are you sure you'll let her go if she fails the test?"
"I don't go back on my word, Valor'el. But I trust Grace. She'll push through."
Valor'el took a sip, letting the moment drag on. He clearly had a question in mind, and Shallies waited for him to ask it. Her smile disappeared just before he said anything.
"You're not training her to be a Godkiller, are you?"
Shallies had to stop Apple from making an outburst. The teacup fairy had expected the question as well, but she took offense when the seraph gave it voice.
"It's alright, Apple. We knew it was coming." The semi-retired Godkiller had to urge her teacup fairy to calm down with both hands.
Apple was in tears, her eyes glaring at her friend, but Valor'el didn't budge.
"I've given up on that expectation long ago, Valor'el," Shallies replied. "After you declined your Great Sacrifice, I stopped looking. I decided to bear this burden alone. I didn't even ask Apple to share it with me, until it was too late. Of course, now we share the burden."
The teacup fairy fell on the bar counter, no longer restrained by Shallies' hands. She cried, echoing soft bells of sorrow.
"You didn't ask Apple?" Valor'el asked, visibly surprised. "But I thought, you had to give your authorization…?"
Shallies shook her head. "That was a front. It deters a lot of people, helps filter out those who were quick to give up. Apple couldn't let me go. She found her own way to offer her Great Sacrifice. Losing her voice was her own choice, Valor'el. We all know what it means to be a Godkiller. She didn't hesitate."
There was silence for a while, and Apple finally stopped crying. The teacup fairy was still visibly angry at the seraph, however.
"Valor'el," Shallies began. "I won't train Grace to be a Godkiller, I promise you that. She will still help us when a Divine War occurs. She'll be a great asset. One of the greatest, in fact. But I've long since stopped asking people to give away what matters most to them. I have Apple, we have each other, and that's enough."
After a while, the seraph finally sighed. "I apologize. I needed to make sure. The girl has a bright future. If she works hard, she's definitely destined for greatness. I just don't want her to reach so far ahead only for you to rip it away from her in the end."
"You make it sound like no one wants to be a Godkiller," Shallies commented.
"Except for you two, we all know no one does," Valor'el interjected. "Aspirants think it's easy. At first, I thought so, too. But just like you said, we all know what it means to be a Godkiller.
"Every god you've killed, I know their effects, Lady Shallies. Those faithful, those destinies you sever, those Classes favored and dependent on those gods, you substitute for them all. I'm an Acting Deity, and I can barely carry the weight of my own people. You can't possibly ask that of Grace."
"I don't." By this time, Shallies' smile had long since gone away. "I won't."
She could feel the seraph trying to study her, but she had nothing to hide. There were no ulterior motives involved with training Grace. She had been transparent with that from the beginning. Her promise was beyond sincerity.
"Apologies," he said finally.
"Your heart's in the right place, Valor'el. You're right to worry. But you can trust my words."
"I do."
After the three of them finished their tea, Shallies began cleaning up the counter. Valor'el was reading something on his System Console. It was getting late, and the seraph should've headed to bed a while ago, but he hadn't.
"Going somewhere?" Shallies asked when she saw him switching from one Class Equipment to another.
"I'm headed for Stoneglow City," he replied. It was one of the great cities of El'doron Kingdom, the closest one to Cinterbrim Town. "Phey'lan should be arriving by dawn."
"She took an airship?"
"Yes. We don't have any Doors in Avel Paradise, and applying for a pass in the nearby city can be quite expensive and tedious. Plus, travelling by air will help her relax."
"You should just gather some materials for your own Door and install it in The Premonition."
"That would be the dream, yes. Of course, when time allows, I'll climb some towers." Valor'el finally settled on his appearance. He chose a set of plate armor with dark blue garb to hide most of the metal. "Once again, I apologize for dousing your excitement over Grace's potential, Lady Shallies. And I also apologize for disrespecting your Great Sacrifice, Apple."
"It's fine," Shallie said. Apple replied with a sigh. "Let me know when you'll be coming back, so I know whether to prepare lunch or dinner."
"I will, thank you. I'll be off, then."
"Yeah, take care. Don't get into trouble."
[Congratulations, Shallies, you're now Chef Level 9. You have 2 Skill Points available, and 2 new Skills have become available on your list.]
Shallies sat on her sofa by the fireplace, while reading from her System Console. Apple went to sleep with Grace, so she was alone now with Stachie.
"What are the new Skills?"
[Ingredient Purification. With a tiny investment of mana, you can purify any ingredient of any bad bacteria, viruses, or any other impurities and harmful contaminants. You can also easily remove poison from any potential ingredient you might have. The mana investment varies, depending on the size and quantity of the ingredients to be purified. This Skill has no Skill Proficiency improvement track.]
[Field Dressing and Butchering. In addition to normal game, you'll be able to field dress all sorts of fantastical creatures, turning most of their edible parts into proper ingredients. This includes, but is not limited to, mana-infused animals and plants, as well as their normal counterparts. Skill Proficiency improves the quality and quantity of yield, as well as chance of acquiring unique ingredients if there are any.]
[You will actually also unlock Scan at this Level, but you already have it. There's no need to present that one.]
"Hmm… Those sound interesting and uninteresting at the same time." Shallies rubbed her chin. She had a Skill Point to spare if she wanted to keep one floating, in case her circumstances changed. She didn't want to hold on too many, so she reviewed her options.
"Enhanced Attribute Food Buffs, Ingredient Saver, Field Dressing, and Ingredient Purification…"
Now that she had some time actually cooking and serving people, she began to see the potential of Ingredient Saver. In fact, if Grace and her party successfully harvested enough cooking materials for a Food Buff meal, it would make Enhanced Attribute Food Buffs an enticing option as well.
Ingredient Purification seemed a little unnecessary, and the same was true for Field Dressing. Most of the ingredients she could acquire from Cinterbrim Town were fresh and clean. And this option was probably better suited for field Chefs, who served on the battlefield or took their own adventures for one reason or another.
Still, one of these will let me expand my options a lot more than the other two… Not to mention that ingredients from magical monsters might be harmful if not prepared properly.
Shallies scratched her head. What had seemed like weak options before now all felt important. After much consideration, she finally made a decision.
"I'll take Ingredient Purification," she declared.
[I would like a confirmation on that, Lady Shallies.]
"Confirmed."
[Thank you. You've confirmed to take the Ingredient Purification Skill. Congratulations! You have one Skill Point left.]
"I'll keep that one floating."
[As you do.]
"So I have one level left to max out my Cooking Mastery, right?" Shallies asked. The improvements had been so gradual that she had barely noticed the time being shaved off from her cooking. She made a mental note to keep track of it the next time she worked in the kitchen.
[Correct, however, I cannot say for certain if you will acquire a new Perk at Level 11.]
"Why not?"
[It would be telling.]
"I have a unique authority over the System, but it won't even let you tell me Skills for the Chef Class?"
[Not part of your jurisdiction, I'm afraid. You're used to just leveling up to the max and getting all the Skills for your Class eventually anyway, so you didn't bother exercising your authority over that. Remember?]
"Yeah… I know, I know." Shallies sighed. "It's just, leveling Profession Classes is too different from Combat ones. If only I could be anyone's apprentice."
[That's a funny joke.]
"I don't hear you laughing."
[Hahaha…]
"Hahaha…"
The two paused and giggled genuinely this time.
[We haven't been alone like this for quite a while,] Stachie commented.
"It's not so bad every once in a while. I still remember feeling a little embarrassed the first time I talked with you out loud. It felt like I was just talking to myself, and I had a screw loose."
[Technically, you do, being a Godkiller and all that.]
"Technically."
[Well, I don't feel as abused anymore, now that I don't have to constantly do things for you.]
"That sounds like a challenge."
[No! Clearly not!] Stachie made a mechanical cough. [What I mean to say is that I'm always prepared to help you in any way I can, Shallies. Without you, I would have no purpose.]
"Well, if you really want to help, you can balance my books for me."
[Math… You're asking a System Assistant to do your ledgers for you…]
"Since you're bored and all that."
Stachie gave a long, mechanical sigh. [Fine. Give me your receipts.]
"Yay!"