When Immortal Ascension Fails Time Travel to Try Again

Ha! Of course, he'd feel pain dealing with that rat girl.

"Right now, I'm not your martial brother. Call me Team Leader. Unless Elder Wrathful Waterspout is here, I am in charge."

Little Teasing Mouse smiled sweetly. "Yes, Team Leader!"

The kid frowned. "You asked what we're doing. But I need to make sure you can keep it secret."

She nodded determinedly. "I'm loyal to the sect! If I talk to anyone about this except the disciples here, I'll explode my dantian!"

He glanced at me, and I shrugged. She was in his unit, not mine. It was up to him to decide what to tell her.

The protagonist crossed his arms and studied her so intensely that even his husky-like ears popped out from his head and focused on her.

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"Our mission is to find and tag orthodox disciples who have a lot of powerful defensive tools and weapons on them. This way, the team that comes in after us can easily find and steal those resources."

Excellent explanation! Not a lie, but not the full truth either. He really took to the old saying, to fool the enemy, start with your allies.

She tilted her head, looking completely confused.

I sighed. "Do you understand that the side with the most resources has the upper hand in a war?"

"I thought it was the sect with the strongest seniors that always wins?"

She wasn't entirely wrong for once. "And how do you think a cultivator who is weaker can win against someone who is strong?"

"Oh! I see. Then we're collecting treasures to help our seniors defeat stronger opponents."

Little Spring and I shared a look that showed our mutual conviction to just go with it.

The kid nodded enthusiastically. "That's right! What we're doing is incredibly important."

I tugged on the kid's sleeve. "We have to leave. Send everyone on a break for a few hours."

He smiled sheepishly.

Yeah. I bet he thought he'd thoroughly distracted me until I couldn't remember. Hah!

::And don't let them get near that rat girl without you, or she'll manipulate them and turn them against you.::

He spun to face his team. "Everybody except Silver Seeker can rest until early morning. Silver Seeker, since you brought her in, train Little Teasing Mouse on what we're doing and then have her run laps around the clearing until I return."

She blinked slowly. "Why do you want me to run, Team Leader?"

He glared at her. "Are you complaining already?"

She shook her head vigorously.

"I need to determine if you have enough stamina for the mission. If you don't, then you should just stay out of the war and help the logistics teams."

Her bottom lip trembled. "I can do it! You'll see."

The look on her face didn't give me any confidence in her. Not at all.

::Good start to her training.::

::It's the truth, too. If she can't handle something I could easily do at Qi Condensation she needs to go.::

Yeah... but he had the body cultivation of a Xianxia protagonist. Then again, if it made life harder for the rat girl, I was happy.

::Well done. Now let's go. I doubt you made extras of your medicinal meal, so you need a bath.::

::Wait! There's no need for this. I can just start my medicinal meals when the space comes back. Or! Or I'll just buy the ingredients and make it using one of the sect's cooking facilities!::

I put my hand on top of his head and squeezed. ::Think harder. Continuing the baths will keep your progress from stagnating.::

::But it smells so bad.::

Spoiled brat. ::Fine!::

He relaxed, but it was too soon for that.

::I'll make you a mild version. The important part is exposure.::

He still hesitated.

::Come on! You know the smell isn't nearly as terrible now that you have control of your senses.::

He threw up his hands. ::Alright, you win this time. But tomorrow, I'll send someone out to collect the ingredients for me. Once I have everything I need, I will prepare a medicinal meal for myself! We have that crabmeat from earlier, right?::

We did. And since it was spiritual beast meat, it wouldn't spoil as fast as actual seafood. "You can try that. But you're still taking a bath now."

***

Making four baths wasn't that much harder than three. The hardest part was teaching the Nascent Soul elders to control the baths' temperatures so I wouldn't have to waste my time here later.

I had other things I needed to do during this break time tomorrow — like make around 130 connected flying swords. There was also that very special tool that was the key to this damn mission's success.

About halfway through their treatments, Doll Monarch sent me a secret sound transmission. "Elder Linlin, where are you?"

"The bathhouse."

"Alright! I have your team of trustworthy puppeteers on their way over. Each of them was vetted by me and several other elders. They're completely loyal to the sect."

Finally! "I'll test them in a couple of days. Once I know they can perform the task I assign, I'll send you the details about the technique."

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.

I could practically hear her mental squee.

A short time later, a team of masked men and women wearing black robes marched into the bathhouse's hallway. They came to a stop in front of me, clasped their hands, and quickly bowed in unison.

Just from the colors they wore and how they presented themselves, I knew these guys were not normal sect disciples. In fact, I had a feeling they were well-trained officers in the sect's secret rule enforcement department. The ones that nobody saw until it was too late.

There were about twenty of them, which was more than I thought Doll Monarch would send.

A man with violet eyes, who was a little shorter than me, stepped forward and bowed.

"Elder Linlin, I'm the leader of this unit, Crouching Tiger Hidden Dagger. We've been assigned to work with you."

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"..." Yeah, that name was shockingly similar to the famous Wuxia from my past-past life. He had to have been some throwaway joke side character in the original story. Xianxia authors fucking loved referencing classic works like this, but this was practically suable!

My pause went on for too long, so he continued. "What are your orders?"

"First, I need to know if you're willing to partake in a vital mission. One where the fate of the Irrepressible Beast Blood Sect might be decided. Can you all handle that kind of pressure?"

"Yes, Elder Linlin!" they said in unison.

I forced myself not to cringe at my title. Instead, I smiled evilly, clasped my hands behind my back, and looked down my nose at them.

I hoped these guys were as competent and stealthy as they appeared. The fact that they noticed the fuckton of formations that protected privacy here gave me hope.

At this point, the only people who could hear us were the puppeteers, the Nascent Soul elders, and Little Spring. And I was positive that the kid was too bored to not listen in.

"Good, because your part in this is to steal precious treasures from our enemies."

"Are we going behind enemy lines?"

"Worse. You'll be stealing them from the frontline."

They went eerily silent.

"To succeed, you will need to partner and work closely with the tagging team, who will have tagged our marks."

"We're willing to work with anyone and risk our lives for the sect, elder," Crouching Tiger Hidden Dagger said. "Do you have a suggested training method, or should we handle it ourselves?"

"We already have something set up. Head to Team Leader Verdant Spring's training ground at daybreak. There, you'll split your unit up and take turns between acting as moving obstacles and practicing for your own mission. The tagging team will do something similar, so communicate with them."

The unit automatically stepped to either side, splitting themselves into two groups like a machine.

"For those acting as obstacles, wear the orthodox sects' uniforms and run through the stone statues to spar with the tamers on the other side. If you have any human-shaped puppets, dress them up as well. I expect you to create a simulated frontline!"

"Yes, elder!"

"Also, when you are acting in place of the enemy and you see spiritual wolves and mice, attack them. If you see your fellow puppeteers or their puppets, attack them. This is a stealth mission. Everyone needs to stay hidden, or we all die."

"Will it be a problem if we injure the tag team's beasts?"

I leaned forward, getting closer to the man's masked face. "I expect you to damage them. Just make sure a healing pill can fix them up. We can't afford to lose anyone." Except for that rat girl. I'd happily lose her.

::Is that such a good idea?:: Little Spring asked.

::It is for your tamers who need to learn how to compartmentalize.:: Especially those with treasure-seeking mice, since their pets were originally peaceful foragers and not yellow rodents that shot electricity from their cheeks. ::Listen, the best time to develop their mentality is during this training, when their partners won't actually die but can still have accidents.::

::It's better to fail among your friends than in the middle of your enemies?::

::Exactly!::

"And what about the training for my unit's main mission?"

I grinned. "You'll have to practice sending your puppets into the simulated frontline and secretly stealing from the marked stone statues. You're looking for uniforms, talismans, and spatial rings. Maybe grab a whole statue or two while you're at it."

From the way his eyes curved, I could see that he was smiling. "You really do want us to steal the most precious things from under the orthodox sect's noses."

When he said it like that, it made me think he had figured it out. I didn't know him that well, so I led him away from that line of thought. "The more resources we have, the better our chances of winning."

Once I could see that he was trustworthy, I'd have to tell him the full scope of the mission since the puppeteers would be the keystone to this whole thing.

He nodded. "The weight of the statues might cause some problems. Our puppets can't use spatial rings."

That was the point, since the actual target wouldn't be the disciples' belongings.

"Can you figure it out yourselves?"

"Leave it to us!"

I really hoped I could.

***

While in the middle of finally getting my band to run through the full battle formation, Little Spring sent me a telepathic message. I had to split my mind into three just so I could focus on the kid's words, the music, and the formation simultaneously. ::Sister Lin! We have a problem here.::

::Is it an emergency or can it wait?::

::Crouching Tiger Hidden Dagger doesn't like how I'm treating Teasing Mouse. He's causing problems.::

Finally! ::If she complained to him, then kick her out.::

::It's more complicated than that. She is adamant that she didn't say anything to him and wants to stay.::

Fuck.

::Alright. I'll be there soon.::

The band finished the songs and all the steps for the formation. They cheered.

I narrowed my eyes at them. "I don't know why you're so happy. You sounded terrible."

They froze.

"Practice the songs in groups. Make sure to hit every note. If you can't play them perfectly while standing in one place, then you'll never be able to do it while moving in formation."

"Yes, Elder Linlin!"

I scowled. They knew they were supposed to call me 'Band Leader.'

Several demonic musicians hid their smiles behind guitars and keyboards. These fuckers! If I weren't in a hurry, I'd punish their asses with hell training.

***

Little Spring ran up to me. "What took you so long?"

"Shut up. I'm here now. Where is the rat girl and that fool?" I thought he was better than this!

He pointed toward a group of massive tiger beast puppets that surrounded Crouching Tiger Hidden Dagger and Little Teasing Mouse.

Since they weren't actual beasts, I confidently strode right past them.

He bowed. "Elder Linlin. You have to hear how this child was bullying this poor girl and calling it training!"

I crossed my arms sternly. "Oh? Let me hear it."

"When we first arrived, the girl was taking a break from running. She was just standing there, and Team Leader Verdant Spring sent his beast to trip her!"

::Nice work!::

::I tried my best!::

::Did you catch it on the recording device?::

::I didn't remember. I'll get it the next time!::

"Then, when he was explaining things to us, he shot Qi at her forehead, causing her to scream and fall down."

::What an overreaction! You've never done that.::

::I might have used slightly more force than necessary. I forgot that she doesn't have body cultivation like we do.::

::Even if you did, she deserves it.::

"Then, during a break, she was just talking to a fellow beast tamer when he dumped a bamboo flask of oil on her head."

I had to cover my mouth because I couldn't stop my smile.

"Uh huh." I glanced at the brat. ::What a waste of oil!::

::I know. I regret it. It will be hard to replace without my space. But it couldn't be helped since she ignored it when I hit her arm with Qi.::

::Next time you take a break, grab some water and use that instead.::

The puppeteer glared at the kid. "The last straw was after her spirit beast was injured. Its wound was too severe, and it couldn't wait, so she broke off from the group to get it treated. But..."

I turned to Little Spring.

He winced. ::The injury wasn't that bad, but it was worse than the others. A simple repair dan still cured it easily.::

"... while she was in the middle of treating her mouse's terrible wounds, he yelled at her, then his wolf dog bit her leg and forced her to practically fall on top of her injured beast! If I hadn't been there to catch her, she might have hurt her own mouse!"

Poor Xiao Bai! He had to get her germs in his mouth.

::Make sure to give him a large treat for me.::

He shrugged. "Xiao Bai made a mistake. He's just a puppy." ::She started standing in one of the demonic dance poses as she waited for the pill to work. Every eye in the area turned to her! And the training run was still finishing up. If this happened in a fight, we'd all be dead.::

"He's not even apologetic!"

I stepped up to the rat girl and loomed over her. "You know how you messed up?"

Her face turned white. "Yes, elder."

"If you try this again, you're out. If you do it in the middle of the war, I'll kill you myself. I don't care if half the sect tries to murder me later because you'll have gotten what you deserve."

A tear fell down her cheek, and she nodded. "It won't happen again."

Crouching Tiger Hidden Dagger stepped between us. "Elder Linlin! What are you saying to this little girl? You're making her cry."

"Good."

"Good?"

I grinned. "I'm the one who asked Group Leader Verdant Spring to do those things to her."

Even with half his face covered, I could tell that his mouth had dropped open.