When Immortal Ascension Fails Time Travel to Try Again

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My small platoon of demonic musicians gathered in front of me, looking like a bunch of individuals instead of a unit. At least their expressions seemed determined.

Aside from Pearlescent Rose and her band, almost everyone carried either a floating drum set, a guitar, a bass, or a keyboard. Only a few were purely vocal talents.

"Everyone, separate out of your bands and come together in sections with the instrument you are most talented in."

They grabbed their things and began to shuffle around.

"What's all this?" Dread Lotus flew in with the rest of Lotus and Thunder. As soon as she touched down, she jumped over to me. We bumped fists while staring out at the reorganizing players.

"This is our future flying rock band."

"They look like they'll need a lot of work."

I couldn't deny that. Individually, they were excellent musicians, but playing together in a massive group was different. Their timing, way of playing certain chords, and angle of striking their drums all had to be unified for this to work. If anyone could whip these musicians into shape, it was my band members and me.

At first, I hadn't planned on including Lotus and Thunder in this mission, but I needed the numbers and their expertise.

Dread Lotus waved and dumped 150 unfinished swords in front of me.

With a hand gesture, I moved them into my spatial ring. "That was fast."

"A fan of mine is one of our sect's few smiths. He gave these to me for a song."

"Good fan."

She grinned and threw a strand of pink hair over her shoulder. "What can I say? My fans have always been the most talented and discerning cultivators in the sect."

While adorable, that was a weird thing to brag about. But if it shaved hours of work off my plate, I was happy for it.

I looked at each of my band members and gestured toward my students, who had just finished re-grouping. "I'm glad you're here because I want your help with them."

"Whatever you need," Dread Lotus said.

"Be my second in command for this mission."

"Always."

"Also, lead and train the percussion section."

She pulled out her drumsticks and grinned evilly. "By the time I'm done with them, everyone will play perfectly."

I turned to Azure Melodic River. "You're leading the keyboard section."

She pulled out her Majestic Kick-Ass Keyboard of Many Sounds and studied her new students with a glint in her eye. "On it."

"Gold String Delicate Touch, I need you to get the bassist group to stop fucking around all the time and play properly."

"Hey!" the group yelled simultaneously.

"Just because your instrument is often the heart of the music, doesn't mean you get to act wild."

"Boo!"

Gold String crossed his arms. "Oh, so they're like that."

"You're going to have it tough."

Next, I turned to Formidable Tiger. "You are too new, so I'll teach the guitar and vocal section in a little while. For now, get everyone started. You'll be my assistant and vice-leader for this group."

He nodded. "Of course! But what will you be taking care of?"

"I have to work with Pearlescent Rose and her band. They'll still be using traditional instruments."

I wasn't about to ask someone who was already skilled with an instrument to learn a whole new one right before a war. That would be like asking them to die. It wasn't like they were the universe's protagonist. He was busy with the tamers.

Fortunately, rock could sound amazing with an accompaniment of traditional instruments. If it didn't, we'd be fucked. When our flying band went without Golden Cores, we wouldn't be able to handle more than one low-realm Nascent Soul. However, when they played with us, we could stand a chance against two or three regular ones.

Next, I handed my teaching team a jade slip with two versions of three songs that I'd chosen for this mission. One for just the Foundation Establishment musicians, and the other for when we played with Pearlescent Rose's group. This would give us options and confuse any spies who had infiltrated my students.

I knew from experience that there were likely many skilled musicians out there who could counter music easily. I had to assume the Harmonious Sound Sect had one of these geniuses. That limited us to playing each version of these songs only once.

As soon as my teaching team received their jade slips, they bowed. "Thank you, Elder."

I scowled. The rumors spread fast in this damn sect. Was everyone here a massive gossip? "Call me 'bandleader' for the duration of this mission!"

The jerks smiled. "Yes, Elder!"

I sighed but let it go. "We'll first teach them a song that Dread Lotus likes to call, 'The Angry Song of Sleep.'" It was inspired by Tom Cardy's 8 Hours.

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Dread Lotus jumped and raised her arms up. "I love that one!"

"Why?" Formidable Tiger asked.

She leaned toward him and smiled conspiratorially. "Because it is the fastest, most shocking thing I've ever heard that can force someone to black out. And it doesn't harm them. You could even play it to a mortal."

Azure rested her elbow on Dread Lotus' shoulder. "You also think it's fun to play on your drum set because it's fast."

She blushed furiously and then delicately cleared her throat. "Come on! Let's go teach this to our fellow disciples! I know where we can find a bunch of small lecture halls that are open right now."

They quickly split up, grabbed their sections, and led them away.

I walked over to Pearlescent Rose and her group. They were the same people who took care of Flood Dragon's White Scale when he sent those beasts after me.

Since they didn't know the Western style of musical notation, I planned to play each part for them. Fortunately, they were all Golden Core cultivators who should be able to memorize a song after hearing it a couple of times. It helped that they only had to pick up one version. I trusted that they'd be fine even if they couldn't train with us daily since they had other responsibilities.

"Elder Linlin," Pearlescent Rose said, "when will we see this battle formation you're so enthusiastic about?"

I clapped my hands behind my back. "You have to learn the music first, then you can base your positions for the formation on the beats of the song."

She sighed. "Fine."

I brought out a large band of puppets, which included a combination of traditional Chinese and Western rock instruments. "First, I'll play how it should sound altogether, then I'll break down each part."

They nodded and focused on the puppets.

***

After hours of learning the new songs, I had everyone gather in the massive lecture hall again, where I assigned them into groups that represented the formation's nodes. To make things easy for myself, I named them after their node number and preferred instruments.

I ruthlessly taught them their starting spots and had them walk to the next several positions after that. Once I finished forging the interconnected flying swords, I'd have them practice on those instead.

It took hours, but we finally ran through the formation for just one of our songs. After that, even my brilliant brain needed a break.

"Everyone, take a rest for an incense stick's worth of time!"

Several demonic musicians practically collapsed into the lotus position and meditated. Others brought out pills and replenished their energy.

After I sat down, Pearlescent Rose jumped out from her spot in the group and landed next to me at the front of the lecture hall.

Goddamn it. There was no rest for the bandleader, was there?

"What is it?"

"Well, when you told me about the flying band's battle formation, I was excited." She frowned while looking at the resting disciples. "This mess hasn't impressed me."

Maybe my mind was too sluggish from the amount of brilliance I'd had to put out just to get everything done and ready, but all I could think to do was blink slowly at her as if I didn't understand what she was saying.

She tapped her chin and then explained, "Battle formations for war are supposed to be more showy and elaborate. They glow with power and often produce an illusion. I was expecting something more fun like that. For example, my group becoming the head of a massive warrior that attacks the enemy."

She pantomimed stabbing a spear forward with a big smile on her face.

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I sighed. "Yes, battle formations can do that. Those are bright, powerful, and bring a large amount of attention to themselves. They're big set pieces for a battle. What we're doing isn't supposed to look that impressive. Not at first. When it's time, it will be too late for them to stop us." Muahahaha!

She leaned away from me.

I cleared my throat. "But once our real illusion happens, we'll be a huge target. This means that we have at most two shots if we break things up right. And we'll have around sixteen minutes of playtime before some ingenious musician counters us."

She grinned down at me. "The only group that could counteract your music is the Harmonious Sound Sect. But they've never heard your Dao of Rock before. They won't know what hit them!"

"While I am, of course, a genius, I realize that I'm not the only one." Bloodsword's wives beat me at various subjects too many times for me not to understand that.

I crossed my arms. "Do you really think I'm so arrogant that I'd put everyone in danger without considering as many probabilities as I could think up?"

I was too paranoid not to, damn it!

She hesitated. It went on for longer than I liked.

I scowled. "I'd be foolish if I risked lives by not believing that our enemy will eventually figure out a counterattack for my Dao of Rock."

She rested her hand on my shoulder and squeezed. "That's why we have more than a single song. You've given us many options and limited their ability to make a move to disrupt your mission."

"That was the least I could do."

"But I do wonder, what happens after you've used up all of those options?"

I stretched my legs out and looked up at her. "Fight individually or in groups. Those out of spiritual energy will retreat to the back. But our mission as a flying band would be complete at that point." And if my plan succeeded, we wouldn't have to fight for too long.

"I suppose that's all we can do without more resources."

***

The 20-3D2K group was what I called the team that represented the 20th node of the formation. It consisted of 3 drummers and 2 keyboardists... and they had fucking drifted off target again! I should have named them 20-DC (Directionally Challenged)!

The lacking-in-spatial-awareness team was about to run into 16-Squeaky Feet, also named 16-2B3G. A vein on my forehead bulged, and my left eye twitched.

"Stop! Everyone, stop!" I used Impossible Leap to jump over to them while oppressing them with my divine sense.

Their eyes widened, and they stilled.

I hopped onto a cushion of divine sense to step up to Burning Wind's eye level. The tall man was the one leading that node. "You're off again! Are you trying to kill us all?"

"No, bandleader!" His hands shook.

I moved to the girl behind him and glared. "What about you? Do you want to die, bringing your sect and friends with you?!"

"Eep!" She clutched her keyboard to her chest.

"Do you all think this is a joke?"

"No, bandleader!" everyone shouted.

"Because we're going to save the sect, your home! Pay more attention or get out! You can help in some other way." No one moved.

I jumped over to the correct spot. "This is where you should stand at this count! Not nearly running into poor Red Fire Screaming Vigor over there."

I pointed to the crimson-haired guy who held a bass and was sending Burning Wind a look as if saying, 'I told you so.'

"Yes, Bandleader Linlin!"

I spun my finger in the air. "We'll run it again from the top!"

I walked back to my spot, seething. As soon as I reached my group, 1-3G3V, and didn't have to stare at those frustrating fuckers who just could not get it right, I let out a breath to calm my rage.

There had been something awfully familiar about that whole interaction, but I couldn't quite place it.

Was it from back in the Indomitable Will sect? No. Then when?

From my past-past life? I didn't remember anyone yelling at me like that. Wait.

Oh, no... no... this couldn't be. This was exactly what my high school's marching band instructor did to me! That guy was a motherfucking perfectionist who pushed his high school students to perform at a professional level. And the worst part was... they did.

He was both terrifying and inspiring, like a goddamn military drill sergeant. I hated, respected, and admired him back then.

Fuck! He was the last person I wanted to understand better!

Dread Lotus walked over to me and put a hand on my shoulder. "Are you alright?"

"Yes... But I just died a little inside."

"Hey, they couldn't have been that bad, right? I mean, their positions were way off, but they're learning. They'll get there in time."

I sighed deeply and stared up into the blue sky.

Many people knew what it was like to grow up and become their parents. No one but I understood the pain of having lived for so long only to turn into my damn marching band instructor.

"It's nothing. Get back into position. We'll run this one more time, then take a break."