What We Do to Survive

After putting an oddly subdued Miranda to bed, I’d made her change her room’s wards to allow me in ages ago, I made my way back to my own room. I was looking forward to a relaxing evening of research, perhaps some light reading and pure mana practice.

I felt slightly bad about what I’d done to the poor girl. I’d been so excited to take a look at what made her tick that I had forgotten one of my key rules: don’t make things harder than they need to be. I should have been gentler with her, explained things at the very least. Instead, I’d just pushed onward without thinking about how it would look from her perspective.

Empathy was hard. Intellectually I knew that I’d probably hurt her, but it had seemed so perfectly reasonable in the moment. The restraints, the orders, the gag, all done as simply a means to an end. It had been the fastest way to get what I wanted from her, so I’d just done it.

Until I’d seen those piercings, I hadn’t even thought about how badly her original capture had disturbed the usually exuberant girl. And now this, only a few days after I’d threatened her in the library? That had been a mistake, and one I was afraid I would absolutely repeat without meaning to. I would talk to her the next time I saw her, reassure her. It couldn’t hurt, right?

Maybe I would play with Mistletoe again, something to take my mind off my most recent fuck up. It had been a few days and working with Miranda had put me in the mood, despite the unfortunate ending. She was a gorgeous woman and I’d spent two hours examining her exposed and vulnerable body. Since I had no plans of fucking the literal man-eater anytime soon, even with her oaths, which meant I had to find some other way to let off steam.

At the very least, I needed to empty her bucket again. It had been about half full this morning and I didn’t want to deal with any spillage if I got caught up with my other work. The stuff had proven its worth already and I’d barely begun to explore what it might be capable of. I’d noticed that her output tended to increase after I played with her, though even light touches were enough for that. If I ended up needing a lot of the stuff, it was important to keep her productivity up.

My mind turned briefly to the image of the other elf girl, Verdan, that Miranda had shown me. Perhaps I would soon have another lab-cow to work with. A second subject would make my research much more reliable and I imagined the two of them would look lovely restrained side by side.

Any thoughts of my future plans vanished the moment I stepped through the door. There was someone in my room waiting for me, a stout, green skinned woman in a dark robe and pointed hat. She was sitting on my stool, heeled feet propped up on Mistletoe’s bare shoulders and back leaning against the wall.

Though I was loath to damage anything in my room, safety took priority. A force lance, the third circle equivalent of the force spike spell, formed in my hand and I launched it at her exposed head. Without waiting to see the result, I followed up a force spike and an all purpose shield.

The spell fell apart in my hands, matrix torn apart by the most elegant counterspell I’d ever seen. I staggered back from the unexpected backlash, half falling against the doorframe. My force lance fared no better, impacting to no effect against a hexagonal shield I hadn’t even noticed her cast.

“Oh stop that honey,” she drawled, “if I wanted to hurt you, you would be hurt.”

My eyes flickered between her and the door, wondering if running was even an option. She was in my room. My locked, heavily warded room. The door hadn’t been forced open, so that meant she’d probably teleported in. She could teleport. She could teleport inside Avalon’s wards.

I slowly bowed, folding my hands over my chest but keeping my mana at the ready. “My apologies, great one. You simply startled me, I meant no offense.”

“Oh what a charmer you are. You make this old woman blush.” She let out a cackling laugh, an almost inhuman sound that reminded me of the devil I’d barely escaped a few days ago. “I think I get what my niece sees in you. Those muscles, yum.”

I froze, suddenly, terrifyingly aware of who I might be dealing with. She grinned, a cruel thing showing just a hint of her curved incisors. “Yes, she wrote me such a charming letter, begging her ‘aunty Elpha’ for advice. Her beloved would barely look at her, no matter how hard she fought for his attention.”

Oh gods above, I was going to murder Brenda if I got out of this, and damn the consequences.

“I just knew I had to take a look at this upstanding young man she seemed so very fond of. I was in the area and decided to just take a little peek, you know? I wasn’t really sure what I would find, but I wasn’t really expecting this, hmm?” I broke into a cold sweat as I felt her attention focus on me. It wasn’t quite like what Myrddin did, but her gaze had an oppressive weight to it that almost brought me to my knees.

The woman I strongly suspected was Elpha Lifebane stood up and vanished, reappearing directly behind me in a silent teleport refined enough I couldn’t even feel the magical ripples such magic inevitably produced. I was so dead, my mind gibbered, I was so so dead. A dainty hand landed heavily on my shoulder, long nails digging into my shoulder like claws.

“Very impressive work, I’m not sure I would have been as thorough at your age.” Wait what? “Igor was right to speak highly of you, he’s been very impressed by your progress.” What?She seemed to sense the confused mess of thoughts racing through my mind and paused for a moment before continuing.

“Yes, I spent a few hours catching up on your time here at the academy, and I must say, you do good work. Your subordinate is capable and well trained, she’s far too terrified to ever act against you. Your professors have nothing but good things to say about your progress and dedication, even in the classes you do not seem particularly interested in. Even this,” she gestured broadly at the restrained Mistletoe and the prototype restraints lying around her that I’d been working on, “inspired work. I can do better now of course, but at your age? Very thorough.”

This was not going quite how I’d expected. For one, I was not dead. That was very nice, I greatly approved of not being dead. Secondly, I had not really expected her reaction towards my work to be quite so… positive, what with her niece's obvious interest in me. The extended Goodwitch clan tended to stay on the nicer end of mages, the sort that avoided the ‘distasteful’ parts of typical mage life. What I was doing certainly fell into that category.

Elpha gave me a moment to hyperventilate, letting go of my shoulder and slowly pacing around behind me. Eventually I built up the courage and asked, “So, you’re not going to torture me to a painful death? Or well, threaten me with that if I don’t stay away from your little girl maybe?”

The room fell unnaturally silent for a moment, Elpha’s presence pressing down on me like a lead blanket. Then she burst out into cackling laughter that seemed to claw at my ears and linger in the back of my mind.

“Ah ha haha, ah ha ha! Is that what you’ve been trembling about? Ah ha ha ha haa!” I wasn’t quite sure what part of that question was particularly funny, but I hoped the response was a good sign. The pressure pulled back slightly but I remained in the deep bow I’d been holding this entire time. It was how my father had taught me to act towards the rich and powerful, and his advice had served me well over the years. Act subservient, remain polite, bow, don’t move unless they tell you too. Archmages weren’t exactly nobles, but they certainly counted as ‘rich and powerful’

After a good thirty seconds, her laughter finally subsided and she dropped heavily back onto the stool she’d been using when I’d walked in. She jabbed the point of one of her heels into Mistletoe’s dangling breast, then kicked her legs back onto her shoulder, a cruel smile on her face.

“Anyway, no, I’m not going to punish you for your perceived sins. I did way worse back in my school days. They didn’t use to have nearly so many protections for students, no wonder your generation is getting so soft. The new Myrddin coddles you lot.”

This was supposed to be ‘so many protections for students’? What the hell had her years looked like if this was what she considered being coddled.

“Now, I didn’t come here just to reminisce about the good old days. I did plenty of that with old Igor already. No, I think you can help me out a little, or well, let's say we can help each other out. Alumni are not supposed to interfere with students too badly, but many skirt the line much closer than I do.”

Oh? That sounded interesting, even if I wasn’t quite sure how someone like me could help an ancient monster like her. She’d killed an ancient dragon! On her own! I’d only been a child at the time, and it had happened halfway around the world from where I lived, but I’d still heard the stories. Still, I didn’t say anything. Whatever it was she wanted, I didn’t really have much choice about not doing it.

“I’m sure you’re bursting with questions about what little old you can do for me. Well, use that brain of yours, even my little ‘darling’ tells me you’re quite clever. What do you think you can do that I can not?”

Well, that sure was the question. I closed my eyes, turning the question around in my head. What could I do that she could not. It couldn’t be something magic related, I was apparently impressive for my age and experience, but she was a centuries old archmage. It couldn’t be something resource related either, because I didn’t really have any resources she couldn’t acquire in an instant. That left…

Oh. She’d as good as told me herself. “You want me to do something here, to another student. Alumni aren’t allowed to mess with students, but I can.”

She let out another cackle, “Exactly! You do have something going on up there. What else?”

What else… “It’s something to do with Brenda?” I guessed after a moment. It had to be a second or third year, and if it had to do with a second year even Brenda should be a good enough agent to work through, talentless idiot or not.

“Exactly! That little brat has been pestering me for years on end. I thought to get rid of her by sending her here, but it seems things have gotten far too comfy for lower years. Back in my day, she would have been chopped up for ingredients by the end of her first year.”

Oh. Ohhhh. Certain things I’d noticed, the way she seemed to drawl whenever Brenda came up, her interest in what I was doing, her apparent friendship with Igor of all people… I knew she and Goodwitch were half sisters, her half orc heritage clearly showing the divide, but it seemed their relationship was not as good as they publicly made it out to be.

“I see you’re starting to understand. Yes, I want you to deal with the girl, and as long as you do it my way, I’ll even give you a hand. If Galina thought I was behind it, I’d never hear the end of it. She loves her little girl, stupid brat or no. If a student does it though, well that's something else. Galina might act all high and mighty, but she was a student here in her own day. She will be angry, but as long as you do it right, our mother will not let her get involved.”

That was not nearly as reassuring as Elpha clearly thought it was. She clearly knew her family better than I did, but I didn’t trust empty platitudes when it came to my continued existence on this plane. Still, as I’d thought earlier, it wasn’t like I had much of a choice when it came to doing what Elpha wanted me to. Galina Goodwitch might murder me, but Elpha Lifebane was right here and would definitely not be happy if I disobeyed.

“I understand. What would you have me do?”

Her smile broadened, showing off the gleaming points of her teeth. “I hoped you’d see it that way. Now, I’m sure it would be easy enough to just dispose of her. She clings to you like a leach and I’m certain she would follow you if you invited her back to your room. Unfortunately, that's not very subtle and would likely end poorly for you. That little trinket around your neck is potent, but not enough to get around an angry archmage’s sight.”

My hand moved to the raven pendant hidden under my shirt. Well, that was good to know at least. That at least gave me some idea of how my observation skills could stack up against those of an archmage. Still, not exactly a pleasant thought

She ignored my obvious discomfort and continued without pausing, “No, I want something a little more clever. A dead girl is good, but I think a broken one is so much better. It will hurt for longer that way, and as long as she is still alive you still have power. Even better if it's done cleanly so she doesn’t notice right away. The realization that her darling has been a mindless doll, well even more mindless than before, for who knows how long and she didn’t even notice? Oh that would be priceless.” She fell silent, looking into the distance with a nasty smirk on her face.

Ok then. I’d realized their relationship was a little rocky, but that was something else. Well, at least it sort of fit with my current plans already so that was a win? Maybe? This seemed like an entire mess that I really didn’t want to get involved in, but I couldn’t see a way out that didn’t end poorly for me. I had a feeling Galina Goodwitch would give me a cleaner death than this woman.

Seeing that she didn’t seem to have anything more to say, I tentatively asked, “So, just to clarify. You want me to kidnap your niece, torture her, and then let her go? If you know about Miranda, I guess something oath based to make sure she acts like she used to?”

She startled slightly, then turned back to look at me. “Yes, close enough. It would be best if you used something stronger, a higher circle binding, probably ritual in nature. I would highly recommend a proper soul binding, something to link her life to your own, for your safety if nothing else.”

Oh that was definitely a good idea. I didn’t know how to cast something like that, but I knew that sort of oath existed. I’d made a similar contingency with Miranda just in case she ever managed to slip her bindings enough to work against me. If she ever felt the oath start to break, something that would only happen if I died, she was to immediately rupture her own soul and kill herself. Something more immediate would be even better though.

“Your advice is priceless, great one, but I am afraid I do not know any spells of that sort. The strongest binding I know is the standard fourth circle hand oath.”

“Easily fixable. Consider this your first payment.” She raised an arm into the air and cast what must have been an eighth or ninth circle spell. I could faintly sense the forms of Space, Distance, and Time in what she was casting, but the expressions of those forms were far too complex for me to understand.

A spinning hole tore itself in the air in front of her, a dark maelstrom of chaotic energy through which I could faintly see a vast treasure room. She stuck her arm through the breach and withdrew a thick tome bound in a scaled hide. Another terrifyingly complex spell closed the gap as quickly as it had appeared, and she tossed the book onto Mistletoe’s bare back.

“It's from my personal collection. I’m sure you’ll be able to find what you're looking for, and perhaps even a little more besides.”

“Thank you, great one. One final question if you would permit?”

“Yes?” she rolled her eyes, “and enough with the ‘great one’ nonsense. I’m not one of your stuffed up human nobles. Call me Lifebane, I earned that title at least.”

“Of course, my apologies Archmage Lifebane. Do you have any specific timetable on completing your assignment? I’m afraid it might take some time to prepare everything.”

She waved a hand dismissively, “Oh don’t worry too much about time. As long as you’re done before she withdraws after next year, you’re fine. I do need her to be able to withdraw though, I don’t want Galina to notice too quickly.” She paused for a moment, then added, “And be careful to always be wearing that little token whenever you’re working on this. Brenda might be a failure, but she is a passable diviner and her mother has provided her with many tools of the trade. I doubt she can peer into private rooms, but her sight likely extends to much of the rest of the Academy.”

I blinked. Damn, that was something I had to keep in mind. Miranda had mentioned that she might be capable of scrying, but I hadn’t taken that particular statement particularly seriously. I would have to do something nice for her.

Elpha stood up, and this time I felt it as she wove a powerful teleportation spell around herself. This wasn’t a short distance blink, but the sort of magic made to punch through wards and cross continents. She paused for a moment, “If you need any more encouragement to get this done, here’s a fun little tidbit. That demon attack? Brenda’s fault.” She winked. “I’ll be seeing you, young man.”

And then she was gone, the spacial ripples from her teleport washing over me like a strong wave. I sat down hard on my butt. The demon attack? Brenda’s fault? What the hell, no how the hell? That required serious looking into.

My eyes drifted to the large book perched precariously on Mistletoe’s rear. I’d planned to play with her, hadn’t I? I was definitely not in the mood anymore. The archmage hadn’t given me a particularly harsh timetable, but I was sure she wanted me to make good progress at her task. When someone like her said jump, all I could do was ask how high. Break Brenda, hmm? I could do that. Yes, in fact I was certain I could do that much.

Did I owe her? Maybe. Was I going to do anything other than what the terrifying woman had told me to do? Absolutely not. Well, it sucked to be Brenda, didn’t it. Born with a silver spoon, but still clawing for more. I clicked my tongue. At least I didn’t think any of my enemies were archmages. That was a positive.

Well, not yet at least. I was not keen on crossing the Goodwitch clan, but I was even more keen on being alive. There was a fable from my childhood that perfectly encapsulated the situation, the Princess and the Rocks. And lo the vengeful princess told the ship’s captain, ‘do not fear the tides that will smash you upon the rocks. Fear me instead, for I have yet to decide if I shall do so first’. Unfortunately in this case I was the ship’s captain, stuck between two threats far beyond my humble means.

Maybe I could maneuver things to come out ahead regardless? If I could convince her family I was a good match for Brenda, or well, make a thoroughly oath-bound Brenda convince her family I was a good match for her, then maybe… That would hopefully be enough for Elpha, and if I timed things right, I could hold off on the reveal until I was strong enough to hold my own… or at least run away very quickly.

I stood up and grabbed the book. Brenda could wait. I would need more practice, which meant moving my current plans up slightly. It had taken two months to break Miranda in. Assuming I couldn’t get the speed up by much, that left me with roughly a year and a half before I had to act. Probably less if I needed to get her trained up as well. This was going to be tricky, but doable.

I smiled grimly. I’d been pretty sure I would have to deal with her eventually, this just made it a somewhat more pressing issue. The rewards though, if I did this right, the rewards would be bountiful. I looked down at Mistletoe again, imagining Brenda in her place. Sure, her face was a little ugly, but the rest of her was certainly passable. I could do worse. Yes, the rewards could be bountiful.