What Little Remains Of Terpsichore Ironheart

"Professor Takeda, come in, happy New Year," I said, smiling as I stepped back to allow my favorite professor entry into my home. "I'm glad you came by, actually- I was going to swing by your office later today for what technically wouldn't have been a social call."

"I'm aware," Professor Takeda said, as she stepped out of her shoes- she preferred wood-soled sandals, which she said were the traditional footwear of the Sunset Kingdom, but the fact that they had vulpine paw-pads carved into the treads was almost certainly all her. "I do try to restrain my Occult senses in polite conversation, but your love of this season is very hard to ignore. However, all I know is that you intended to press upon me a small New Year's gift, not what that gift is- some small measure of the surprise is still preserved."

"Aw, dammit," I complained. "The surprise of getting a gift in the first place was the part I was looking forward to."

"My apologies, Miss Ironheart."

"Oh well, I still think you'll like it," I said, before producing an ornately wrapped gift box from my pocket. The packaging was all ectoplasm, which would disappear shortly after being removed- no sense using real paper that I'd have to compost or burn later, especially when Professor Takeda, the woman who taught my Ectoplasm Shaping class, might enjoy seeing one of her students casually using the skills she taught them outside of the classroom.

And once Professor Takeda did open the box- I could tell that most of the joy on her face was, in fact, tutelary pride in a student using your lessons, but part of it was a distinctly vulpine instinct to curl up in a nice, enclosed den, which she apparently sometimes fulfilled with empty cardboard boxes like a housecat, when she felt like being silly (was that real? Or could she tell I was using my own Occult senses and feeding me endearing nonsense?)- she proved me right as she gasped at the gift inside.

"Happy Early New Year's," I said, as she cradled the stuffed nine-tailed fox to her chest, while the box it came in finished dissolving back into loose magicka. "I was making a big batch of stuffed animals for the neighborhood kids back home, and... well, I already had the velvet and the stuffing."

"Oooh, is that the fox lady?" Talia asked, rushing down the stairs. "Hi Professor Fox Lady! Can I please touch your tails?"

"Talia, don't-" I began, before Professor Takeda shot her with a green bolt of magic, turning Talia into a regular-ass, one-tailed fox. "Well. I'm very sorry for my girlfriend's rudeness, Professor."

"Oh, don't be," Professor Takeda said, waving it off. "I always appreciate a student indulging my love for mischief. Alas, you young people are too respectful of your elders these days; I so rarely get an excuse to turn one of you into a small woodland creature."

"...Right, well, I'm gonna get a pot of tea going. Would you like to sit down?"

"That sounds lovely, thank you."

---

The whole party was now gathered in our living room, seated on the couches or each other, while we drank tea and ate fresh-baked pastries with Professor Takeda.

"So, Takeda-sensei," Volex began, "to what do we owe the pleasure of your company?"

"Oh, it's no grand occasion," Professor Takeda said, between bites of inarizushi- a little pocket of deep-fried tofu, filled with sushi rice, and in this case, topped by a fried egg that was crispy at the edges while maintaining a hot, runny yolk. Somehow, despite the inherent messiness of such a finger-food, she didn't drop so much as a single grain of rice onto the stuffed fox in her lap. "I've finished grading yours and Catherine's final exams for the semester, and I felt it in keeping with the spirit of the season to deliver your grades in person." She popped the last of her sushi into her mouth, before withdrawing from a wide, voluminous sleeve two thick packets of paper, passing one to Volex and the other to me.

"That's a quick turnaround," I noted, having taken the exam less than twenty four hours ago. "But, considering what you're the Professor of, I suppose you've got plenty of ways to get your grading done in a timely manner."

"Indeed I do," she said. "It was a pleasure to have you in class, Catherine, and I look forward to seeing you again next semester."

"Likewise," I said, nodding to her. "You've been an excellent teacher, and I'm very glad of your very generous office hours."

"Did you already give her your gift?" Volex asked, speaking directly inside my head.

"It's in her lap."

"Shit."

"Well, Takeda-sensei," Volex said, setting down her graded exam, "if Catherine's already given you her New Year's gift, I suppose I may as well give you mine." She reached into her cleavage- her dress' neckline went low enough that it took some clever enchantments to fully hide the Funbag Of Holding that was apparently becoming customary on every woman in my life who wasn't Faith or Emily- and produced an ectoplasmic gift box that was far larger than should be possible to squeeze into her cleavage. "Happy New Year."

You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.

"Hey Cat, you should give her a dress that actually has pockets for New Year's," Faith suggested.

"Laugh it up," Volex said primly, as her gift was unwrapped.

"Oh, my," Professor Takeda said. "This is... Well. This is a genuine, pre-war High Elven tea set- very hard to find, these days."

"Easier when you're a time traveler," I said.

"...I don't suppose I could ask you to retrieve a-" Professor Takeda began.

"You shouldn't," I said, shaking my head. "I can't actually change the past. If I go back in time to grab something of yours that you lost? Chances are, you asking me to grab it now is the reason why you lost it then."

"Ah."

"Also, I can only go back a week at a time," I added. "That tea set was delivered by a future version of me who's a lot more magically potent, and who then informed me that I was on my own from this point. I've only had Divine magic for a few months."

"I'm honestly glad you can't travel further yet," Emily said. "I've heard enough about time travel theory from you to know that it's going to get really confusing, once you've gotten good at it."

Talia, still a fox, and seated in Emily's lap where she was receiving ear skritches, yipped in agreement.

"She's a Druid, can't she just turn back into an elf whenever she wants to?" Faith asked, frowning at Talia. "Why is she still a fox?"

"Key words, whenever she wants to," I said. "She used to do this all the time- turning into a dog or a cat or whatever and climbing into my lap, demanding cuddles and scratches behind the ears. I guess she's feeling nostalgic."

"Mmph."

"Well, Catherine, while I do enjoy your hospitality, I'm afraid I must take my leave," Professor Takeda said, stowing her gifts in her sleeves. "Before I go, however, I mentioned that your intent to give me a New Year's gift was not a surprise. As such..." Professor Takeda withdrew a pair of small gift boxes from her sleeve, passing one to Volex and one to me. "...I decided to indulge the spirit of the season as well."

Volex gestured for me to go first, and I opened my box to reveal a brass token. It was about four centimeters across and four millimeters thick- roughly coin-sized, but bigger than any coin in common circulation, and stamped with a simple geometric pattern of a pentacle made from five interlocking V shapes to imply weaving from a single continuous cord.

"Fucking hell that's magical," I muttered, as I lifted the coin from its box. "I've gotta do gift exchanges with archmages more often."

"I wouldn't object to more stuffed foxes, but some variety would be nice," Professor Takeda said. "Now, because I understand you're too polite to ask, I will simply tell you: that coin does not do anything specific, just yet."

"Oh, you've mentioned this in class, one time," I said. "I looked it up- it's called a MacGuffin, isn't it?"

"In Hikaano, yes," Professor Takeda said, her tails swishing audibly behind her as she smiled at me. "And yes, it is a MacGuffin. Would you mind telling me what your textbook said it was?"

"It's an artifact of powerful Occult magic," I said. "The same principle of retroactive continuity that allows an Occultist to temporarily possess knowledge or skills that they could have developed honestly is what enables a MacGuffin to transform, when it is most needed, into a magic item that the original creator could have created with that same time and effort, if they'd chosen to create something more specific. They're... They are powerful magic, and it takes a genuine master of the Occult to create even the weakest MacGuffin."

"What you hold in your hands is a somewhat restrictive MacGuffin," Professor Takeda said. "It will only work once, and the item it becomes will also only work once. It will likely serve you well someday, but only once; for this limited exertion of my craft, I consider our exchange to be fair and complete. If you have another stuffed fox to give me, I'm afraid you'll have to wait until next year."

"...Volex?" I asked.

"A tarot deck," Volex said.

"You mentioned you used to do readings," Professor Takeda said. "I hope you enjoy it."

With that, Professor Takeda bowed shallowly to us, and showed herself out.

"A tarot reading, huh?" Faith asked. "Isn't that... Doesn't that not work?"

"It depends," Volex said, already shuffling the deck. "Oracular divination is powerful magic, and most fortune tellers aren't actually capable of that. However, it is still fun, and this deck feels like it's got some real magic in it. So, who wants a reading?"

"Ehhh," Faith began.

"No thank you," Emily said.

"Fuck it, I'm not a coward," I said. "I've already made my peace with the fact that the future is predetermined. Lay it on me, honey."

"Alright, so," Volex began, vigorously shuffling her tarot deck, turning half of the deck upside down between a few cuts. "The typical three-card spread is about your past, your present, and your future."

"Why would I need cartomantic divination for my past and my present?" I asked. "I was, and am currently, there."

"The idea is that the cards specify a throughline- an event from your past, how it manifests in your present, and how it will affect your future," Volex explained. "That's how it provides any useful detail at all."

"Alright..."

"First card: Judgement. Awakening, renewal, finding purpose, self-reckoning. You've had a few of those, but it still narrows it down."

"Alright..."

"Second card: Ten of Swords."

"Uh."

"Disaster, suffering, exhaustion," Volex said. "I hope this is about your grades, otherwise our holiday plans aren't looking good."

"Yeesh. Well, how about-"

"Third card: Death. This is normally where the cartomancer reassures you that it doesn't mean you're going to die in the near future. However, I've met you. Your death is absolutely in the cards... no pun intended."

I sighed.

"Oh well," I said, shrugging. "I'll live."