NOVEL NEXT Book 5, Chapter 16
"Oye, Chica Roja, estas de vuelta," Estefania said, as we stowed the van in her family's barn.
We had arrived at the town of Mount Fate at about 10:30 PM, well after the sun had set, and Summer had brought us to her main Resistance contact- a young orcish woman named Estefania, who worked as a waitress at her family's restaurant and had fond memories of watching Faith take a single bite of an enchilada and immediately turning red.
"She said-" Summer began.
"I know what she said," I interrupted. 'Hey, Red Girl, you're back.' "I've been doing so much goddamn Occult magic today that I don't even have to cast a translation spell right now. I'm pretty sure I could even understand your weird otherworld pop culture references."
"Huh," Summer said, tapping her chin. "...Call this a Yoko Taro joint, cause I sure am Near A Tomato."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Estefania asked, frowning.
"It's a lame pun about a story about what it means to be human, starring an artificial human with a sexy maid outfit and a nice ass," I said, context flooding my head, including the concept of a 'video game,' which seemed interesting, but also, like something I would be ignoring until I had the years worth of free time to invest into trying to recreate that with Wizardry. "She's just saying words recreationally at this point. Anyhow, hello Estefania, it's good to see you again, although I have to say I'm a little surprised. Which, well. I suppose that's the point, isn't it?" I idly wiped away the trickle of blood coming out of my nose; that tended to happen when I tried to understand one of Summer's otherworldly pop culture references.
"The resistance is quiet, for now," Estefania said. "We can always use more help, though."
"And you'll get it," I said, nodding. "The High Elves have been asleep at the wheel for too long; I can't promise it's changing completely, but I can promise I'm doing something, here. Hopefully it'll help."
As soon as I said it, though, it felt wrong. Like I shouldn't be speaking for the High Elves- after all, as much as I had been offered the crown today, I still wasn't the High King yet. The High Elven people were not unified, we had no central leadership or unity of purpose; I could no more speak for the High Elves than Talia Jones or Artorias Rosewood, that one boy from Greenwood Village who insisted that we were rivals and got deliciously upset every time I acted like I didn't remember who he was supposed to be.
(Actually, her name was Ariel Rosewood, these days; when I'd bumped into her yesterday, she threw a massive hissy fit about my transition just being another way to upstage her, and I pretended to have no idea who the hell she was and why she was so obsessed with me. I then wished her luck with her transition, and made sure to put a bit of extra bounce and jiggle into my step as I walked off, to make sure she knew my tits were bigger than hers.)
"Right, well," Estefania continued. "Stay inside tonight, yeah? It's New Year's; people will be up late, and we don't need you getting spotted."
"A bit late for that, isn't it?" Summer asked. "We had to drive up here, in a pretty conspicuous vehicle."
"It's plausible for us to have snuck in unnoticed, therefore that's what happened," I said. "It's basic Occultism, Summer. I recommend not trying to argue with it when it's benefiting you."
"Hmph."
"Anyhow, Estefania, thank you for your hospitality," I continued. "May justice be done, even should the heavens fall. Thus always to tyrants."
"Thus always to tyrants," she agreed, before stepping out, closing the barn door behind her.
"Anyhow," I continued, "I still feel like death warmed over, so I'm gonna go back to bed and get some more sleep. Everyone else should get some rest, too; we're gonna have to move out pretty early in the morning if we wanna slip outta here unnoticed."
"What, no New Year's party?" Talia asked.
"Let me ask you this," I said. "Do you really want me to burn out my ability to use Divine magic for the whole rest of the day just to bring us back a few hours in time so we can go without notice? Because I feel like there might be slightly more important things to do with that magic."
"Ugh, you're no fun."
"Look, when we finish up with this, I'll create a pocket dimension under heavy time dilation so that we can have a nice, long vacation without any interruptions," I promised her. "You can use your Druidcraft to turn the inside of it into a little tropical island, and I'll invite the Harpies to visit so you can see Vanessa Vega in a bikini. That sound good to you?"
Talia threw herself at me, wrapping her arms tightly around my sides, to the point of being a little painful.
"You," Talia whispered, "are the best."
"Who's Vanessa Vega?" Summer asked.
The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.
"Part of The Harpies, an adventuring party we're friends with," I said. "Vanessa is a Wizard who specializes in organic transmutation, which is the branch of magic you'd use to make someone Generically Sexy, with giant perky boobs and shit like that. She's a walking advertisement for her specialty."
"...Can I meet her too?"
"We'll see what we can do."
"Oh, Catherine," Uncle Frederick said, stepping out of the van. "Before I forget, I had something for you. A New Year's gift that I'd been planning for a while, and... well... Now seems as good a time as any." He then handed me a large, clear bag, containing about a liter of-
"Is this your own blood?" I asked.
"It's 100% pure dragon's blood," Frederick said. "I did get it from my own veins, sure, but the part where it's my blood specifically is less important than the fact it's dragon's blood."
"Mmn."
"Now, for best results, you are going to want a Healer to do an actual transfusion, and not just drink it," Frederick continued. "Drinking a whole liter of raw blood is deeply unpleasant, even aside from the fact you waste half the potency of the-"
"Thank you, Uncle, but I really need to go to bed now," I said firmly. "We can talk about it tomorrow."
"...Fair enough. Sleep well, Catherine."
---
I ended up not being able to get back to sleep, after that. I just laid there, thinking about why I was hesitating to take the crown, and feeling like I couldn't represent the High Elves anymore. After all, just a few months ago, I'd been quite gung-ho about it- Joseph Ironheart, the Last Mage-Knight, here to kick ass, take names, and bring back the unicorns. But then... then I'd stopped being Joseph Ironheart, hadn't I?
Joseph Ironheart had been a High Elf, through and through, no doubt about it. Sure, he'd been raised among humans, but he was a sharp-eared immortal, raised by other sharp-eared immortals, and he was just as much a High Elf as anyone else had been.
Catherine Ironheart, meanwhile, had almost immediately learned that she was dragonblooded, and set about strengthening her dragon's blood, until she became a full-on half-dragon who could sprout wings and scales and a tail and breathe fire, and she, she just-
I'm not a High Elf. I'm a dragon, I've never been an elf, not really. I was always a fucking dragon, just pretending to be an elf, and everyone around me was either deceived or playing along.
That was it, in the end, wasn't it? I cannot in good conscience lead the elven people to a better future, because I'm not one of the elven people- I don't even know the elven people. I'm an autistic dragon who has one elf friend, and the rest of them are dwarves and humans and half-elves raised outside their elven heritage.
Maybe I should tell Clover no. I would still be a good ally to the elven people, because they raised me, but... I didn't feel like I counted as one anymore.
"What about Uncle Frederick?" some part of me whispered, which gnawed at me.
On the one hand, I was unwilling to say anything bad about my uncle, on account I loved him, but on the other hand... if I didn't count as an elf on grounds I'm a dragon, then he doesn't count either, and... God, isn't this a fucking mess.
I wonder if-
My maundering was interrupted by a sudden, intrusive vision. An image of Antoinette Tenpenny- a classically beautiful woman with pale skin and blonde hair, who should've been in her mid-40s but barely looked a day over 25, who was, currently, quite sweaty and dissheveled, holding a knife to the throat of a bound-and-gagged Emily Redwater.
"Come alone, and the girl gets to live," Tenpenny said, simply.
A location was conveyed, and the vision ended. Twelve miles east of Mount Fate. I could get there, fast. Even faster if I dug deep with the Occult-
I had, several months ago, been trained in an object teleportation spell by my mother. She, obviously, did know how to teleport, and was very invested in teaching me the craft of Wizardry. Therefore, almost immediately upon my return to Redwater, she'd taught me the person teleportation spell, and made me practice it until I could form the spell in two seconds and teleport across the room. I still wasn't good at the spell, but I could cast it, and when I only needed to teleport a single person, I was good enough to travel a decent distance- not twelve miles, but enough to get out of town without being spotted.
That was enough of a plausible justification, and so, I was able to teleport, coming out about five feet above the ground, just outside of town. I'd have to learn how to actually cast a personal teleport at some point, so that I could actually get good with it, but right now, I had a damsel in distress to rescue.
"Volex, are you-" I paused, and grimaced. I'd made a big show of handing her new reliquary over to her, for her to carry, so that she could finally be in control of where she was. Which meant, of course, that in my haste to go rescue Emily, I had neglected to grab Volex and take her with me, and I had also neglected to mark her new reliquary for my object teleportation spell, because all this fucking Occult bullshit with the retroactive continuity trick was making me sloppy. "Fuck!"
I sighed, and simply pulled out my motorcycle- still the same ol' steel horse I've been riding this whole time, never really warranting an upgrade, beyond a simple silencing charm. Still reliable, after all this time.
"Alright, old friend," I began, climbing into the saddle. "Just you and me again. Let's ride."