NOVEL NEXT Book 5, Chapter 14
"...I'm flattered," I began, "but what makes the crown yours to give away?"
"The fact that we're elves, and you're you," Clover said, rising to his feet as he dropped the gravitas. "To put it bluntly, we don't have a formal system of succession. Elves don't die of old age, and the elven people have only had three High Kings, the last of whom was crowned four thousand years ago, during the first Dark Crusade. However, that doesn't mean we can't have a new High King. It just makes the prospect an argument, and you're the most convincing answer we're going to have."
"Why?" I asked.
"Were you not listening?" another Wood Elf said, this one wearing the traditional, body-encompassing full plate armor of an Elven Mage-Knight, standing next to- rather than sitting astride- a unicorn. "You're a charismatic elf with red hair and a track record of military excellence."
"What the elven people need most right now," the unicorn continued, his voice a deep rumble, "is someone to unite them and lead them in a successful rebellion against Hikaano imperialism. For the elven people to accept you as their new High King, they need to believe that you can actually win this war."
I hummed noncommittally; for all this conversation was clearly quite important, this was the first time I'd had a moment to breathe since I'd first laid eyes on a unicorn, and I found myself finally drinking in the sight.
Humans liked to act like unicorns were these strange, spindly things- built more like deer than like real horses, and only rideable by elves through a mixture of magic and elves being small and unmanly- as though the average elf wasn't still taller than the average human. It was, these days, mostly simple ignorance; unicorns stopped being a common sight about three hundred years ago.
However, a unicorn was not, in fact, a ftrange beaftie that only vaguely resembled a horse with a horn. A unicorn was, in fact, nearly indistinguishable from a particularly impressive warhorse- the unicorn right in front of me, talking about politics, was taller at the shoulder than Talia was at the top of her head, and had thick legs, with hooves nearly the size of dinner plates. Their coat was like polished silver, with a mane of spun gold, and a spiral-grooved horn of swirling iridescent nacre- mother of pearl, the humans called it, for it was mostly found on the inner shells of clams and mussels.
God. A fucking unicorn. This is... This is everything I've ever wanted.
No. It was more than that.
Growing up, I'd dreamed of finding the unicorns, and bringing them back, along with the Mage-Knights, to restore the glory of the elven people. Well, here I was, being offered the crown itself, the keys to the kingdom, for the express purpose of fully restoring the freedom and sovereignty of the elven people.
Naturally, this was going to absolutely suck on a personal level, but of all my faults, an inability to tolerate hardship for the greater good wasn't one of them.
"Still," I said, frowning. "I'm... really the best we've got? There's millions of elves in the world, and I'm not even nineteen."
"You're the only one who meets the criteria of being visibly a Rosewood- which only matters a little, but does still matter- as well as a charismatic and successful adventurer with a genuinely impressive track record."
"Before we get her too excited," Volex said, "I would like to point out that Catherine got impaled through the heart less than ten fucking minutes ago, and I'd appreciate it if we could table this until after she's gotten some medical care."
There was a moment's pause, which was long enough for Summer to interject- in Hikaano.
"Hey, I know this is important elf business, and if I really need to know, y'all will tell me, but..." Summer coughed into her fist. "Do y'all mind speakin' English or Spanish or something, insteada your weird made-up elf shit? I can't understand a goddamn word of this."
"Well, Elder, you heard the lady," I said in Hikaano. "It's rude to carry on a conversation like that in front of someone who can't participate. Also, can I get some water? I keep having the driest throat imaginable every time I die and get resurrected- at first I thought it was because I kept dying in the Black Desert, but no, it happened in a forest, too."
"You probably died with your mouth open," one of the Druids at the healing circle said. "There's a pretty simple charm to stop that from happening, if you're a Druid or a Wizard."
"I'll look into it."
---
Uncle Frederick saw to me before one of the Druids did.
"I'm a Shugenja," Frederick explained, as he worked his magics with little more than a thought and a gesture. "I hadn't gone to the Sunset Kingdom expecting to become one, but as I got to know the land and its people, I came to feel a calling to Shugendo, and joined a gaggle of initiates as our seniors guided us up Mount Hakkyo."
"Professor Takeda suggested I go there and be initiated as a Shugenja," I offered.
"I'd prefer that you didn't," Frederick said calmly. "Shugendo is a faith, Catherine. It is not a vocational skill, that you can just learn in a class and use to solve your problems. It is a faith, as all Primal and Divine traditions are. If you want access to Primal magics without faith, without genuinely living by a specific way of being, then you're in the unenviable position of trying to work out a Wizardly way to wield vital essence, and I wish you luck. Nobody in history has figured it out yet. I wouldn't bet on you being the one to change it."
"...I see," I said, quietly.
"I can teach you the faith, if you're truly curious," Frederick continued. "Perhaps it will speak to you, the way the Path of the Druid didn't. If it does, then you will be able to climb a mountain, undergo ritual death and rebirth, and come back down with a growing intuition for the syncretic magics of a Shugenja, wielding vital essence to affect the Material in ways that Druids do not. But... More likely, it won't. It didn't to me, until I'd spent long enough meditating on it. Either way, my faith is no prosaic path to power, and Kiyoko needs to stop treating it as such."
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I nodded. I desperately wanted to know the history between these two, considering that Uncle Frederick has not only lived in Takeda's homeland but also studied at her university, and Takeda herself is visibly old enough to have already been teaching while he was there.
"All done," Frederick said. "How do you feel?"
"Good, honestly," I said, sitting up in the folding cot, before swinging my legs over the side and getting to my feet. "Like I woke up from a good nap half an hour ago, and had already had a cup of good, strong tea."
"That'll last for an hour or so," Frederick said. "After that, you'll be feeling kinda crappy for the rest of the day, but that will go away with a good night's sleep." He patted me on the shoulder. "Good work out there, Catherine. Get some rest; we've got it from here." He then made his way to another patient, stepping effortlessly up to the attending Druid's side and assisting her efforts.
"So, you as a king, huh?" Summer asked, as we walked away from the healing circle. "Hey, help me out here- aren't the elves all about freedom and justice and shit? How come they're okay with having a king?"
"Depends on who you ask," Faith said. "A lot of elves thought that the problem with monarchy only arose when non-elves did it, but the elves who actually understood politics would tell you that it's because Lysander basically wasn't a king. He lived in a big fancy house and had a hat made of gold, sure, but he was pretty much just the first-among-equals of a coalition of leaders from various elven population centers, and the actual day-to-day business of governing High Elven society was almost all handled through democracy and republics and shit."
"...Huh."
"Right now, of course, Catherine would be acting like a real king, but also, the elves are currently pretty okay with the deal of 'do what I say and I'll lead us all out of this mess.' It's a temporary arrangement, and they can afford to be patient."
"What she said," I said, nodding. "I'm... Honestly, I'm not sure I should say yes. I want to say yes, because this is everything I've ever wanted and more, but also... I'm worried that I'd do a bad job, and I'm also worried that taking the job would fuck up the lives of my family. Y'know. You guys."
"I'm a Paladin of The Mother," Faith pointed out. "Joining the elves in rebellion against the Hikaano is kinda what we do."
"Talia, Emily, and Volex also live with me," I pointed out.
"I say go for it," Volex said. "As much as I may hate being trapped as a creature of narrative, I still have to admit, it'd make one hell of a story. Also, Wood Elves are masters of the Primal and Occult, and I think that, if anyone can help me escape my condition, it's going to be them, so..." Volex shrugged. "I say we keep them happy."
"I'm honestly not a huge fan," Talia said. "Remember when I was giving you a hard time about your ambitions of being a Mage-Knight because it was fucking up our relationship? That wasn't just about the fact you refused to pin me down and knock me up, it was also about the fact that you were so focused on your idealized dreams of the future that you tended to forget about the present, and were, honestly, kind of a shitty boyfriend to me for a while there."
"...Ah," I said, quietly. "I'm sorry. I... I didn't know."
"Eh," Talia said, shrugging. "I've got more going on than just being your girlfriend, these days, but... still, didn't feel great, y'know? And yeah, I get it- this is genuinely important, and it does, in fact, make perfect sense that you'd sacrifice your personal life on this particular altar. I just... I wish you wouldn't, you know? But hey, at least you're checking in with me before haring off on your own this time."
I closed my eyes, and sighed.
"...I'm a Priest of The Father," I said, after a brief pause. "Time is mine to command. And for you, Talia? I will make time."
She blinked a few times. "Wait, do you mean-"
"That is correct," I said, nodding. "I'm going to abuse my divine gift of time travel in order to balance the demands of being an actually attentive lover with the burden of kingship."
"...You're ridiculous," Talia said, grinning as tears pricked at the corners of her eyes. "And I love you."
"I love you too, my heart," I said, hugging her tightly, making sure to shove her face into my boobs, just the way she likes. "I'm sorry I don't tell you more often. I'll have to fix that."
The hug lasted a nice, long moment. But for all things, there was a season, and this hug came to an end.
"Alright, well," I said, still holding Talia. "We're... hang on."
I spied, across the grove, Silas, being fawned over by a gaggle of beautiful Wood Elves- a gaggle that included a few men, too. Silas seemed a little flustered at the attention, thinking it was purely a "thank you for saving our grove" type thing.
Couldn't have that kinda misunderstanding, could we?
"Damn, Cousin," I called across the clearing. "Save some for the rest of us, yeah?"
There was much giggling from the gaggle, and as Silas realized he was in fact being flirted with, the discomfort and unease slipped off of his face, and his shoulders loosened up.
"Anyhow, where was I?" I continued, more quietly. "Right. We're gonna have to do something with Clan Darenthus."
"What do you mean?" Elder Clover asked, walking over into polite conversation range.
"We're heading up to the Mesa Verde to talk to the Resistance movement," I said. "If your people are so eager to throw their lot in with someone who's fighting the good fight against the Imperium, then I'd be more than happy to make some introductions."
"That... wasn't quite what I meant," Clover said.
"Oh, I'm sorry, do you have a better idea?" I asked. "No? Yeah, that's what I thought. Listen, you didn't pick me to be your king because you were overflowing with good ideas." I then raised my voice, making it crystal clear that I was addressing the entire grove. "Listen up, people! We are packing our shit and moving, all the way up to the Mesa Verde, where we will be breaking bread with the Green Orcs and working together towards a brighter, Hikaano-free future! Now hop to it; we leave in an hour."
"How, uh, how are we gonna transport three hundred and twenty four people in a van that can maybe hold two dozen people?" Faith asked. "Sure, all the Druids and the unicorns can just turn into mice or whatever, and you can fit a thousand of those in a cardboard box under the table for a day or so, but there's still the matter of everyone else."
"I'm the best Dimensionalist Wizard in a hundred miles," I said, stalking towards my van. "And I've still got that ship in a bottle. The ship itself is rated for a complement of about three hundred people, after all."
"But-"
"Don't worry," I said, smirking. "I already know how I'm gonna get 'em all in the bottle."