What Little Remains Of Terpsichore Ironheart

At the University of Mount Fate, a semester was either twelve or fourteen weeks long. From the first day to the last day, equinox to late December, there were fourteen weeks. But two of those weeks, in early-middle November, were Fall Break, a scheduled interruption in the class schedule to allow for students to go out on their mandatory adventures without missing class.

And so, six weeks into my first semester of college, I found myself preparing an airship for departure, and readying myself for a fight against an armada of sky-pirates.

"That should be good," Envy said, stepping back to inspect the ectoplasmic armor-cladding she'd installed onto the hull. For all my initial misgivings, Envy was a talented Bard, and had me handily beaten as far as skill with Occult spellcasting went. "It's been enchanted for weightlessness as well as strength, so it shouldn't slow us down."

"You're the best we've got at ectoplasm," I said with a shrug. "If you say it's good, then that's what we're going with."

Envy made a cute little "hmph" noise, then straightened up and strutted over to the staircase to board The Harpy, a satisfied little spring in her step. Managing someone like her was simple enough, as long as you had a good set of praise-buttons to push. Thankfully, she did seem to take some actual pride in her skills as a Bard, so I just had to ladle on the positive reinforcement to get on her good side.

"I think she's warming up to me a little," I said idly.

"She's a real sweetheart once she gets there," Vanessa said. "She's also got an absolutely delightful blind spot about what does and doesn't constitute heterosexuality."

"...I beg your pardon?"

"You'll know she really likes you when she offers to help you 'practice kissing,'" Vanessa said. "I still can't tell if she really is just that dense, or if she knows exactly what she's doing. Personally, I hope it's the former."

I blinked a few times. It was only now really occurring to me that Vanessa actually liked women, and that she wasn't simply fine with letting other women grope and ogle her in order to get what she wanted.

"Y'know what?" I said, reevaluating the woman beside me right before we went off to go risk our lives together. "Let's just leave that where it lies, and move on with our lives. C'mon, girl, we've got pirates to kill."

---

Airships were significantly smaller than water ships, but they were also significantly faster. Back in the age of sails, water ships barely moved faster than walking speed, and even nowadays, with steam engines and propellers, ships typically only reached speeds of ten to twenty knots- which I'd initially thought was about how fast trains moved, but it turned out my information was outdated; early commercial passenger rail only moved about twenty miles an hour, but modern trains averaged fifty miles per hour between cities, and could even get up to sixty miles an hour if the conditions were right. As such, a train journey from Redwater to Mount Fate would only take one day, and even then, only because there were multiple stops for people to get on and off the train along the way; a non-stop ride would only be about ten hours.

The Harpy had a cruising speed of 130 knots- or 150 miles per hour- and the trip from Mount Fate to Barracuda, the port city where we were to meet the Admiralty, would take only eight hours, during which time only myself and Erica would have to actively pay attention to the ship itself.

"I do not understand," Erica said out of nowhere, while we worked the engine and the helm. The engine itself was just a fairly standard closed-loop steam engine, except that its boiler was heated by magic rather than a mundane firebox- expensive to set up, but less expensive than an enchanted battery, and easier to replace. The helm, meanwhile, was an anachronism of an old-school wooden ship's wheel for controlling the rudder and a modern metal lever with a marked and measured track that controlled our altitude. The helm and the engine both were contained in a single cabin, above the main deck and to the aft of the ship- I think it was called an 'aftcastle' or something? Iunno, sailors had all sorts of weird terminology, and there was only so much you could glean from reading books.

"Why would you help us?" Erica continued. "Helen didn't say you would be punished for our expulsion."

I couldn't help but think about the incredibly stupid design of the helm, and how, despite being within arm's reach of the engine, there was no throttle control on the helm itself, and there had to be a second person in the cabin to work the throttle lever on the engine for the helmsman. Fixing that oversight would take me maybe ten minutes if I just wanted something working now, and only another hour if I wanted to make it look good.

"Joseph?" Erica said, noticing I wasn't responding.

"My name is Catherine," I said. "And I'm helping you because my moral compass is more robust than simply avoiding punishment."

"There is no point in continuing the charade," Erica said. "The Order of the Silver Maiden knows very well who you are, Mr. Ironheart."

"Yeah, well, recently I underwent a gender transition," I said dryly. "Mister Joseph Ironheart is dead. I am Miss Catherine Ironheart, and I'd appreciate it if you stopped acting like you know me so well despite this being the first time I've actually said anything to you."

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She flinched a little at that, and wilted. "Apologies, I... Was not intending to antagonize you. I, ah... Was mistaken, it seems, on more than one count."

I grunted, and returned my attention to the periscope, checking our surroundings- I understood that the helm couldn't be open to the air because high-altitude winds are dangerous, but would it have killed them to put some fucking windows in?

"So what exactly did the Silver Maidens tell you about me?" I asked.

"They said that Joseph Ironheart was the son of Ariel Silver and a former Mage-Knight, that he was a talented Wizard, and that he would likely inherit his mother's irrational stubbornness," Erica said. "And that, while a successful attempt to sway him would be an excellent victory, as we always need more elven men in our ranks, an unsuccessful attempt would likely serve only to anger him, and an angry young archmage is never a trivial problem."

"That all?" I asked mildly.

"There were also details such as your red hair, indicating descent from House Rosewood, but nothing about your skillset beyond your talent at Wizardry," Erica murmured. "In all likelihood, though, the idea you were a talented Wizard was likely an assumption rather than an observation, being as you are the so- daughter, of Ariel Silver. Given the emphasis on risks and avoidance, I doubt any agents of the Silver Maidens have made a study of you in person- we simply know where Ariel Silver has lived for the past two hundred years and when she filed a birth certificate."

"So the Silver Maidens were wholly unaware that I'm also an Occultist."

"...You are?"

"I was already one before I came here, and I'm currently majoring in Bardic Studies," I said dryly. "Also, as I have recently learned, I am in fact dragonblooded, which lets me perform Sorcery."

"Eugh, dragonblooded?" Erica said, recoiling. "The Silver Maidens most definitely do not want you, then."

"You aren't doing a very good job of convincing me I should keep helping you," I said dryly. "Do bear in mind that, right now, Vanessa and Nicky are the Harpies I actually like, and also, that I can help them through means other than completing this adventure. If I come to dislike you enough, I can and will turn this ship around and abandon you to your fate of being sold as a sex slave. Which, incidentally, is something that the Silver Maidens did to you, so maybe roll that around in your head for a little while before you keep running your mouth about how the Silver Maidens think I suck."

That managed to shut her up for the remainder of the voyage, and soon enough- well, no, eventually, we were docked at Barracuda Bay.

---

Barracuda Bay was a major port city near the border with the Grigian Republic, and its name came from a long and storied history that would deserve its own series of adventure novels if it didn't already have one, or two, or seventeen. Landing The Harpy was easy enough; the Admiralty had a very visible headquarters at the docks, and had multiple towers specifically for mooring airships.

When we disembarked, across an enchanted rope-and-planks bridge whose enchantments were more to remove any chance of us falling off to our deaths, we were greeted by three important men. Well, two important men and one important woman.

The first was Admiral Abbondanza of the Grigian Navy. He was a tall, handsome Grey Orc, with close-cropped black hair that was mostly concealed under the cap of his uniform. His uniform, soberly unadorned, was a medium grey, a tone darker than his skin, and on the epaulets of his jacket were what I could only assume were the rank markers of a Grigian Admiral, with three golden stripes above a thicker band of gold and a five-pointed star, making for the only real detail on his uniform that wasn't his plain nametag, which read ADM. ABBONDANZA.

Primogen Thompson of the Paladin's Guild, meanwhile, was a pale-skinned and blonde-haired human man, who looked as much like a Paladin as was practical for a man who knew that, at any moment, he'd be expected to get on a ship without having time to change his uniform. He wore a silvered breastplate that had been polished like fine jewelry, along with a pair of pauldrons that displayed the insignia of a Primogen- one of the Twelve Peers, and subordinate only to Hano himself within the Paladin's Guild. Under the armor of his station, he wore a smart outfit of dark blue fabric, which had been tailored very well to his frame, and upon the front of his breastplate, he had an array of medals whose significance I couldn't immediately decipher.

And, finally, Duchess Melody Redwater of... well, House Redwater. She was wearing a far more ostentatious outfit than I'd ever seen her wear before, which was probably expected of a Duchess who was keeping the company of a Primogen and an Admiral who she was not already related to. Her crimson ballgown was very flashy and glittery, but, more interestingly to me- I know what my priorities are, alright?- it was generally cut and styled so as to conceal and downplay the deliciously curvaceous figure I knew she had under that dress, with a high collar, big shoulder-poofs, and some specialized corsetry to compress that impressive bust of hers.

"Gentlemen," I began. "Duchess Redwater. It's a pleasure to see you all."

"Likewise, Sir Ironheart," Melody said, nodding respectfully to her loyal Knight. She'd taken the news that I had transitioned far better than I'd feared, and seemed more upset at the fact that her daughter had discovered our affair and demanded that I break it off- which I'd admitted I intended to actually listen to. Which, honestly, made sense- me being transgender, she could simply file away as 'elf business,' but me not being willing to continue our affair? Well, that was undeniably her business.

"Might I ask why you have invited the Duchess Redwater to this important military operation?" Admiral Abbondanza asked. His accent was quite noticeable, but also quite comprehensible, and served mostly to give a lovely cadence to his voice. "I have asked, and it appears that, while she does have some experience with the Adventurer's Guild, her knowledge of military and naval matters is largely theoretical."

"Legal reasons," I said, shaking my head. "Don't worry about it, Admiral. It's not your problem, and it shouldn't get in your way. Although... We might need your signature on some paperwork, to make it more convincing. I'm not terribly clear on the details, though- I'm no lawyer."

"Whatever her magisterial role is, I trust it can wait," Primogen Thompson said, with a distinct Redwater accent that caught my ear in a flash. "We have important matters to discuss in the briefing room."

"That we do, that we do," Admiral Abbondanza said, nodding. "My staff have been preparing dinner for us, to eat while we work. Does anyone have dietary restrictions I should be made aware of? I know elves do not taste heat, but..?"

"Oh, um, I have a seafood allergy," Emily said. "It's not a bad allergy, but I'm going to feel sick for the rest of today if I eat any fish."

"Duly noted," the Admiral said. "Well! Ladies, if you will come with us?"