What Little Remains Of Terpsichore Ironheart

The world, in its entirety, has always existed. Terra nullius is a lie- if it was livable, someone lived there. And for the northernmost edge of the continent, which went nearly to the equator, that 'someone' had, historically, been the Green Orcs.

The Green Orcs were, themselves, split into two rough camps: the settled Green Orcs, who lived in cities and farming villages in a long, thin river valley that clearly marked the borders of the Mesa Verde, and the nomadic Green Orcs, who lived on the arid Mesa Verde itself, herding sheep across the grasslands and fighting off encroaching cowboys with bows from horseback.

Mount Fate itself was just on the other side of the river valley from the Mesa Verde, and for as long as there had been a town built around its base, there had always been Green Orcs in it... despite intermittent efforts by the Hikaano to remove them. Those efforts, bloody and atrocious as they may be, had never really worked, and today, as we pulled into the town named after the mountain next door, it was to get a late breakfast at a little local restaurant run by a family of Green Orcs.

"What would you recommend to someone who's feeling adventurous?" I asked.

"A glass of milk," the waitress, a young orcish woman named Estefania, said with a toothy smirk. "We don't get many Adventurers in here, mostly just locals, and around here, we really like our peppers."

Like most Green Orcs around here, her skin was a bright, leafy green, although I'd been told that orcish skin tone spanned the same sort of range as humans did, and there were Green Orcs whose skin was more of a dark greenish-brown; mostly out on the Mesa Verde, but people moved around. She also had the characteristic strong jaw, a slight underbite, and unusually long and pointed canines that were visible when she spoke.

Overall, while orcs couldn't pass themselves as human as easily as elves could- for us, all it took was a hairstyle or hat that covered our ears- they still looked human enough that marriages with other humanoids happened all the time.

"Elves don't even notice that kind of heat," I said with a shrug. "So don't worry."

"Yeah, yeah, you're tough as nails, I get it. Listen-"

"No, he's serious," Talia said. "Elves are immune to capsaicin, the chemical that makes peppers taste like burning. Nobody really knows why, we just... are. Weirdest thing. Makes for a neat party trick, though- if you've got some ridiculously hot pepper lying around, one of us can eat it without feeling a thing."

"I'm, uh. I'm used to spicy foods," Emily added. "My mom made the staff learn a bunch of traditional Neterian recipes when she married Dad, and would complain any time it wasn't hot enough."

"...Fuck you guys, I don't have to prove anything to you," Faith said, as we all turned to look at her. "I'll take you up on that glass of milk."

"Right, well, I'd say a pan of beef enchiladas should be a good introduction to Verde food for you all," Estefania said. "That sound good?"

"No idea what those are, but it's hard to fuck up beef, and I trust your judgement," I said, nodding.

"I've had them before, they're really good," Emily said.

"Alright, that's a pan of beef enchiladas for the whole table," Estefania said. "Does anyone want something else?"

"Sounds good to me," Talia said.

"Do you have anything that isn't spicy?" Faith asked.

"We'll get you something that won't burn your tongue off," Estefania said, before patronizingly patting Faith on the head. "Be right back with that."

She bustled off towards the kitchen, leaving us alone at the table, and also fairly alone in the restaurant- at this time of day, hardly anyone was in here.

"So," Talia said. "Do you speak any Orcish?"

"I learned a little Verde, but not a huge amount," I admitted. "We just don't get that many orcs in Redwater, y'know? Hard to learn a language when all you've got is books."

"Why were you learning Orcish?" Faith asked.

"Well, I knew I was gonna wanna come north to look for unicorns, because they have been sighted out on the Mesa Verde," I said. "And I figured that, if I was gonna spend a lot of time out on the Mesa Verde, then I'd want to be able to talk to the people who live there, so..." I shrugged. "Also, I do need to remind you both that there's no such language as Orcish. There's Verde and there's Grigian, and while the two languages are mutually intelligible to native speakers, a novice is gonna wanna learn them separately."

"Pretty much exactly that," Estefania said, returning from the kitchen with a black wooden serving platter held above her head. "So, Chico Rojo, como se llama usted?"

"Uhhhh..." I blinked a few times- I did remember that "como se llama" was something like a greeting- it wasn't quite "hello, how are you?" though- and that "usted" was the polite way of saying "you", but... I was just completely blanking, even though I should know what that all meant.

"Oh, um," Emily said, after a few moments. "You, uh... You've got a little bit of brain damage."

"Oh," I said. "So I'm not a forgetful dumbass for completely forgetting everything I've learned about Verde."

"Solo un poco," Estefania said, setting the platter down on the table. In the center was a big rectangular pan filled with what looked like an indistinct mess of sauce and starch, but which turned out to be several individual rolls of flatbread- tortillas, I think- wrapped around a meaty filling, which were just a little congealed together thanks to the thick layer of sauce. "So, why've you got brain damage?"

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"I died yesterday," I said, shrugging. "Stabbed through the heart. Luckily, I had a Healer right there-" I gestured at Emily, who was seated directly to my right. "-so she was able to bring me back, but... Well, I guess there's still consequences."

"Yeah..." Emily said. "By this point, everything from the neck down is healed, except for the scar- I didn't know if you wanted to keep it or not- but you, um... You've basically got a minor concussion right now, and you'll want to take it easy until that clears up."

"So, question," Estefania said. "Is it true that elves love old ladies?"

"That's..." I trailed off, a fork already in my hand. "...Look. It's more complicated than that."

She burst out laughing.

"It's more accurate to say that everyone else hates old women, and elves happen to not hate them," I continued. "I mean, we all know it's bullshit that Hikaano society teaches its girls that they're only valuable when they're beautiful, but it's also bullshit that Hikaano society teaches girls that they're only beautiful when they're young. And if elves only let themselves love humans who were young, they'd only get a decade or two with their human lovers, instead of the four to eight decades that human will be alive for."

"...Ah," Estefania said, more quietly.

"Also," I continued, "Emily, your mom is in her fifties, right? And you certainly wouldn't call her ugly, would you? I know I wouldn't. Duchess Melody Redwater is one of the most beautiful women I've ever met."

"I'm... sure she'd be flattered," Emily said nervously, her cheeks heating up.

"I know, I've told her that myself," I said. "Anyhow! Point is, old women are still gorgeous, and High Elves are just the only ones with the stones to admit it."

"Thank you for defending my honor, Sir Ironheart," Duchess Melody Redwater said from the entrance to the restaurant. "However, I have it from here. May we join you?"

"How the hell did you get here so fast?" Talia asked, turning to regard Melody. "I thought you hated trains." I watched, from the corner of my eye, as Estefania rapidly made herself scarce, not wanting anything to do with aristocrat family drama.

"Peregrine here is an accomplished Wizard," Melody said, gesturing to her elven butler, who I'd met a few times before, but... Now that I really looked at him, I could, in fact, see the mystical signs of a man who was a very good Wizard but didn't want to be known as a good Wizard. It also explained how he got around so fast- clearly, he knew how to teleport. "He has even tutored my eldest son in the Arcane arts."

"Huh," I said. "Well, have a seat, we were just about to eat an early lunch. Do you like beef enchiladas?"

"Sir Ironheart, you are entirely too kind to an old woman," Melody said, grabbing the wooden spatula and a plate, and serving herself a single enchilada- with a bit of extra sauce, scraped off the bottom and sides of the pan. She then seated herself between myself and Emily, and began to eat.

"Peregrine?" I asked, looking up at the butler politely standing behind his liege.

"I've already eaten, but thank you for the offer," he said politely.

"Fair enough," I said, nodding. "Oh, if it's not too much bother, Lady Emily's asked me to teach her the basics of Wizardry before the semester starts, and I'd appreciate it if you could help with that, and ensure I don't teach her any bad habits."

Peregrine nodded. "I will need to consult my schedule for the next two months, but I believe time can be made for that, if Lady Emily desires my help."

"Oh, I mean... You don't have to, Pip," Emily said, sheepishly. "I don't want you to have to keep teleporting all the way out here all the time. That's a lot of magicka, isn't it?"

"There is nothing within my duty as the Butler and Court Wizard of House Redwater that I consider a waste of my time and magicka," Peregrine said firmly.

Now, I may not be an aristocrat, but my parents definitely were, and I knew a few things about reading between the lines: Emily had politely told him no, and he was insisting otherwise. Now, how do I navigate this in a way that lets Emily maintain some autonomy without making me look like a jackass for raising the subject in the first place?

For what would likely not be the first time, I wondered if this would be any easier if I didn't have fog at the edges of my mind. I didn't feel that different, but... well, my brain was compromised, and I couldn't really trust what I was feeling, could I?

"While I'll hear no insult to your skill, Peregrine, the simple fact of the matter is that Mount Fate is one of the greatest Universities in the world," Melody interjected. "Your dedication is praiseworthy and well-noted, but in this circumstance, I'm afraid we'll have to leave Emily in the hands of the University."

Ah, perfect, someone without brain damage to navigate the complex social situation I accidentally created.

"...As you wish," Peregrine said quietly.

"If there are any study materials you recommend, however, I'm sure a few day's delay to go through the mail should be tolerable," I added, because I did want this guy to like me, and making him feel like I respected and valued his experience and opinion seemed like a reasonable way to do that.

"I will prepare what I can," Peregrine said.

"Damn, these are really good, even without the peppers coming through," Talia said, swallowing her first big bite of enchilada. Faith, meanwhile, was chowing down on what looked to be a burrito, and which was, to judge from the lack of blushing, panting, and cursing, wholly devoid of peppers.

The rest of us took a break from talking to eat, and I agreed with Talia's assessment- these were actually really good.

"Yeah," Emily said, after finishing her own first bite. "Honestly, Faith, you have to try this, it's really good."

"You look at me and tell me I look like I can handle spicy food," Faith said flatly.

"It's not that spicy," Emily said, carving off a big bite of enchilada with the side of her fork, before spearing it and offering it to Faith.

"Listen," I said. "I try to fight against racism where I can, even within my own heart. I am not always successful, and if I ever say or do something that implies I do not consider a certain ethnic group to be fully valuable people who deserve respect, I want to be corrected on that, and will do my best to accept that correction with a minimum of fuss and defensiveness."

"Uh," Faith began.

"That being said," I continued, looking at the piece of enchilada at the end of Emily's fork, "I can tell you that there is no lie in this world that will hurt you more than a black person saying 'It's not that spicy.'"

Duchess Melody coughed, covering a laugh, and Emily cringed a little.

"Yeah, yeah, you're all so goddamn tough," Faith said, before snatching the fork from Emily and eating the morsel of enchilada with swiftness. "There. I ate it. No big d-" She coughed, and her face started turning red, from her forehead to her throat. "Oh. Oh that was a mistake. Oh no. Oh no, that's-"

"I warned you," I said, shaking my head, as Faith began to guzzle milk.

Oh well. She'd live.