What It s Like Being a Vampire

Chapter 515: Chapter 515: Laugh Point

The cross-talk was still going on, and though the skits were all simple, it must be said that they were all hilariously good. On the other side of the screen, the three “audience members” in a hotel room were all laughing hard.

Tang Baona in particular, was laughing so hard her face turned red and her eyes teared up. If she had stopped laughing suddenly, seeing her in this state, one might think that she had lost in a quarrel.

Little Apple’s ability to arrange crosstalk performances was truly incredible. She was leading the Little Fatty Girl, who was still in kindergarten and had never been exposed to crosstalk before. Just after a little “rehearsal”, they were able to come up with several skits that were very suitable for the two of them, which supported nearly 5 minutes of crosstalk performance.

Although the phrases delivered by Little Fatty Girl were all very simple, such as “Isn’t that so?”, “Never heard of it,” and “Does that make sense?” being repeated back and forth, and she often forgot or said the wrong words, requiring Little Apple to correct her.

But it was this somewhat awkward, nervous, and somewhat understanding performance of hers that enhanced the comedic value of the show.

Sometimes, it was hard to tell which forgotten words were real and which ones they had planned because every time it was very funny.

Of course, their performance had a more “lethal” effect on Xiang Kun, Tang Baona, and Yang Zhen’er than on others. After all, they very much knew what Little Apple and the Little Fatty Girl were like in daily life. They were all familiar faces, so seeing such naive and sweet performances amplified their laugher.

Xiang Kun also felt that the Little Fatty Girl truly had a talent for comedy performance. This type of earnest, careful, naive, clueless, yet completely authentic crosstalk performance style was incredibly funny.

Although Little Apple was mainly in charge of speaking and the Little Fatty Girl was just like a sidekick, occasionally responding with a few common crosstalk phrases yet often making mistakes; over the course of 5 minutes, almost all the laugh lines—all the punchlines—fell on her instead. Her unawareness of the hilarious responses she made and the small expressions of anxiety and awkwardness when worried about getting the lines wrong were truly lovely and amusing, making people unable to take their eyes off her.

After watching their crosstalk performance and ending the video, Tang Baona, who was almost laughing herself to internal injury, said while wiping her tears, “I thought that Little Apple was going to be a video UP Master in the future, either about bird science popularization or cover songs. Never did I expect that her maiden heart would be shaped by crosstalk.”

Yang Zhen’er also chuckled, “I think our ‘Little Bell and Apple’ are going to rock, they might have more fans than your ‘Youlong Play Rabbit’ account!”

While Tang Baona and Yang Zhen’er were having a lively discussion, Little Apple and Little Fatty Girl were also reviewing and discussing how to improve.

Initially, Liu Shiling was both anxious and puzzled about performing crosstalk with Sister Little Apple. She really didn’t find its amusing point, but just intended to cooperate with Sister Little Apple.

However, when they were just connected through video to perform for Uncle Bald, the beautiful sister and the fairy sister, seeing that they all laughed so happily – the beautiful sister even burst into tears – she also felt very happy and accomplished.

Suddenly, in Little Fatty Girl’s heart, crosstalk became a kind of “magic” that could bring people joy and happiness, and her curiosity and zeal to learn started to kick in again.

Sister Little Apple, who can command “Golden Shimmer” and “Barbie Warrior”, is indeed a superb magician with excellent use of crosstalk, which is also a type of “magic”.

As a budding magician herself, Liu Shiling naturally had to strive to learn every useful kind of magic.

Imagining in her mind the scene where she would perform crosstalk to make her mom laugh and roll on the bed when she was not in a good mood, Liu Shiling could not help but chuckle triumphantly.

“Little Lingdang, do you have any new ideas?” Hearing Liu Shiling suddenly chuckle triumphantly, Little Apple thought she had come up with some funny gag, and quickly asked.

Liu Shiling blinked and quickly shook her head: “No no, I don’t know anything, Sister Xiao Pingguo, please teach me. I will study hard. Whatever you ask me to say, I will say it.”

As she spoke, she noticed Custard Pie dozing off next to the sofa nearby and subconsciously said: “Should we involve Custard Pie too? It’s pretty obedient.” After saying it though, she scratched her head in embarrassment: “Wait, Custard Pie cannot talk, it can’t perform a comedy skit.”

“Eh?” Xiao Pingguo was struck by an inspiration, she pinched Little Fatty Girl’s cheek and praised: “That’s a great idea! I already thought of a storyline. We can perform ‘Wu Song Fights the Tiger’, the Custard Pie will play the tiger, and you, Lingdang, will play Wu Song! Haha, Goldie, come over! We can also perform ‘The Condor Heroes’, Goldie can play the divine condor, I will play Yang Guo, and Lingdang, you can be Xiaolongnv! This skit is going to be lots of fun!”

Liu Shiling looked confused: “Who is Yang Guo? Does Xiaolongnv have horns on her head? Is she powerful? Does she know magic?”

“Hahaha, exactly, this is the best kind of reaction! Lingdang, you are a treasure! I get so many inspirations when I’m with you!” Xiao Pingguo couldn’t resist, she squatted down and kissed Liu Shiling’s cheek.

Then the two of them huddled together, including Custard Pie and Goldie in their group, whispering and discussing for a long while. They invited Old Xia to sit in the middle of the sofa as their audience, and the two of them started to rehearse, asking Old Xia to judge whether it was funny or not.

However, after having performed for a while, Xia Libing never laughed, which made both Xiao Pingguo and Little Fatty Girl a bit nervous. Could it be that their skit was not that good?

“Sister Bing, is it not funny?” Xiao Pingguo asked uneasily. She couldn’t see Xia Libing’s facial expression, but without hearing any laughter, and getting feedback from Alice that Xia Libing wasn’t laughing, she became somewhat uneasy.

Xia Libing propped up her chin and thought for a while, then asked back: “Where do you think I should be laughing? What are the specific reasons that I might find it funny?”

“Well…” Xiao Pingguo opened her mouth to speak, but she realized that she didn’t know how to answer this question.

Luckily, Xia Libing didn’t press further and said: “It’s not that your performance was bad, it’s just that my sense of humour is different from others. You can video call Sister Nana and get their opinions instead, don’t worry, they definitely sleep later than you, they have plenty of free time now.”

Xiao Pingguo finally exhaled in relief, and then realized that Sister Bing indeed seldom laughed heartily. She usually thought more rationally, seeking the root cause of everything and analyzing the logic expressed in language and bodily movements. Presumably, her sense of humour was pretty high. As she thought about this, she came up with a lot of skits that would pair well with Sister Bing. With Bing’s kind of reaction, there would surely be a lot of laughs!

Xia Libing asked them to reinitiate the video call to rehearse in front of Tang Baona and Yang Zhen Er on the other side. She took her laptop and went back to her room.

Xia Libing placed the laptop on her lap, opened it and asked, “Alice, do you think Xiao Lingdang and Xiao Pingguo’s comedy skit was funny?”

The computer responded, “The one just now? I don’t know about that one, but the one Sister Lingdang and Sister Xiao Pingguo performed should be… definitely funny!”

“They’re not here, there’s no need to flatter them. I’m asking about your real feelings.” As Xia Libing spoke, she directly co-manifested Alice, letting her sit on the bed beside her.

“My real feelings… I don’t know if it should be funny.” Alice twisted the scalpel in her hands and said hesitantly.

“So you didn’t think it was funny.” Xia Libing answered for her.

“But…” Alice wanted to argue but didn’t know how to.

Xia Libing continued asking, “What about the comedy skit they performed while video calling Sister Nana, Xiang Kun, and Zhen’er?”

“That was hilarious! Look how happy the boss is laughing! Definitely hilarious!” This time Alice’s reply was very affirmative.

“Is it because you think it’s funny, or is it because Xiang Kun laughed, he felt it was funny, so you also think it’s funny?” Xia Libing asked.

“It’s all the same! If the boss finds it funny, Alice will certainly think it’s funny too! Hmm, I understand what you’re getting at, I think it’s funny myself, because of Sister Lingdang’s reaction…”

Alice replied and began to display videos on the laptop screen on Old Xia’s lap she had recorded during the Little Fatty Girl and Xiao Pingguo’s connected performance. She paused at every moment she felt should be funny for an explanation.

She even split the screen into two video windows, one playing the comedic skit by the “Lingdang-Apple” duo, the other showing Xiang Kun and the others’ synchronized reactions.

After discussing the analysis of comedic elements logically and practically with Alice, Xia Libing had a general understanding.

She and Xiang Kun had already confirmed before that Alice had developed some level of human emotional perception, which was why she could establish herself on a “super-connected object network” and “emotion-infused object network” culminating in a “super sensory item system”.

But Alice’s emotional system is still growing. She would more easily perceive the types of emotions that exist in the “emotion-infused object network”; the rest requires ongoing influence and cultivation by Xiang Kun.

Because of the twelve minions, Alice is able to perceive, and is very sensitive to, feelings of happiness, joy, and humor.

Normally, Alice’s sense of humor should be essentially consistent with Xiang Kun’s, occasionally perhaps influenced by Little Fatty Girl and Xiao Pingguo.

However, for Alice to pick up on humor, depending on the source, the degree of difficulty varies greatly, and some jokes, like cross-talks or those not universally common, just wouldn’t click with Alice unless Xiang Kun has seen them before.

For example, Little Fatty Girl and Xiao Pingguo’s newly-rehearsed skit. Actually, Xiang Kun might laugh after watching it, but before he sees it, Alice herself can’t accurately find the joke.

This shows that Alice’s emotional perception abilities are still “maturing” and “evolving”, and need to be further “led” by Xiang Kun.

This opportunity can also serve for Xia Libing to insert herself into Alice’s progress of learning emotional perception, observing, analyzing, even imitating, and learning from her.

In fact, Xia Libing had also sensed feelings of joy before. Once was after Xiang Kun watched a bunch of funny videos, triggering “emotional assimilation” that allowed her to sense feelings of humor and joy. Another time was on her birthday, when Xiang Kun, due to her deliberately started “cake fight”, again triggered “emotional assimilation”, allowing her to sense feelings of happiness and joy.

So fundamentally, her and Alice’s emotional perception mode, their sense of humor, as well as their specific experiences of joy, humor, or happiness, all originate from Xiang Kun.

What they are learning is the same subject with the same “syllabus”. It’s just that this time Alice outranked as the better performing student, and Old Xia was the “chaser”.

Now, she is analyzing Alice’s specific learning methods, in hope to apply them to herself.

Xia Libing first had Alice watch those funny videos that Xiang Kun originally found hilarious. After Alice laughed heartily, Xia suddenly leaned into her face, extended two index fingers, and pushed the skin at the corners of her eyes upwards, her upper lip covering her lower lip, making a funny face imitating a fox, and deliberately crossed her eyes.

Alice was stunned at first and then burst into laughter, leaning back on the bed, and her manifestation disintegrated on the spot as a result.

Xia Libing didn’t manifest her again, but communicated directly via the laptop, conducting a detailed analysis of her laughter at the funny videos and the funny face.

…

Zhao Feng and Wang De’an, who had just returned from Burma, didn’t even leave the airport, immediately turned around and flew to a city in the Midwest.

Their goal of the trip was an old man undergoing medical treatment outside prison.

When they arrived, it was already past eleven o’clock at night. The hospital did not allow visits, so they could only check into a hotel first.

In the hotel room, Wang De’an looked over the data of the person they were to visit on the trip using the tablet provided by the secret department of Divine Technology. He frowned and said, “This guy, looking at his history, is an old fraudster. Before being convicted, he was scamming people with all sorts of peculiar beliefs, can we trust what he says?”

“Don’t just look at the crimes he committed, read on, see how he got caught and got a lighter sentence.” Zhao Feng, who was slurping down a bowl of noodles, reminded him.

So Wang De’an continued to scroll down and was astonished, “He turned himself in? Oh my, it’s another surrender…I wonder where he came across that thing.”

“We’ll know after we ask him tomorrow.” Zhao Feng said.

The old man they were visiting on this trip, under medical parole, had sketched an image of the eight-armed, eight-eyed monster in prison, which bore great resemblance to the restored sketch of the eight-armed, eight-eyed Giant they had seen in Myitkyina.

Now seeing that this old man actually turned himself in, the possibility that he had really seen the eight-armed, eight-eyed monster rises even higher.

After all, judging from the various incidents that have occurred before, criminals who have been influenced by the eight-armed, eight-eyed monster generally all show tendencies to surrender and reflect on their past behaviors.

The news this time was from the information collection team of the secret department at Divine Technology. They found a comment under a news related to the apparition of the giant in Myitkyina not long ago, mentioning that a fellow inmate in prison had drawn a “similar picture” and often muttered words like “Heart Demon” and “Yama”. That inmate was an “old sage” who could see through people’s hearts.

They then found the identity of that netizen who tried to unlock him and learned which prison he was serving his sentence in. The “old sage” he mentioned was Old Man Du, who was jailed for fraud and was currently under medical parole due to health issues.

So as soon as Zhao Feng and Wang De’an returned to China, they rushed here to verify whether there is a connection between the drawing of Old Man Du and the object they are investigating.

Of course, both Zhao Feng and Wang De’an, as well as the members of the information collection team, were not aware that, in fact, when the information collection team members noticed the comment under the news, a diligent digital lifeform had already spotted this risk and reported it to Xiang Kun.

At Xiang Kun’s command, it would immediately mislead the investigation direction of the people on the “Divine Technology” information collection team, or provide them with wrong and false information.

But Xiang Kun didn’t issue any commands. He only asked Alice to continue monitoring.

That’s why Zhao Feng and Wang De’an could receive information, why they could be here, waiting to visit Old Man Du.