What Comes After

"Speaking of moving away," he said. "How did everything go with your sister?"

"He left," I said. "A couple days ago. Saturday, actually."

"Is it true what they said about the South?" Charles implored. "About the better oil and gas situation."

"Maybe. I don't know. It's all rumors. Nothing's been confirmed yet."

"But what do you think?"

I sighed. "I hope everything is better. It just has to. If not for me, then for Leon and his family."

"Yeah," he said and decided to switch topics randomly. "I wish I could grow one of these bamboo groves in my backyard."

"It would be great," I said and played along with his topic switch. It felt better to talk about something unserious to take our minds off of everything that was happening. "Maybe I might even be able to get a pet panda."

"That would be pretty cool," he said and flipped the page. It was a picture of a white sand beach curving around turquoise blue waters. The sky was shining blue, the forests saturated with so many bright greens that I almost squinted my eyes because it hurt looking at it.

"Now, this is where I would want to get married," he said. "Or share something special with someone or do something cool. I don't know."

"Kinda missed your opportunity..."

"Whatever," he said with a small smile. "Don't need to be such a downer."

"Fine," I said. "So what would you do there?"

"Since we've already talked about the basics of this back on Friday," he said. "I'll get to the good parts."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"First, you've got to close your eyes to imagine it," Charles said.

"Sure," I said, playing along with him.

"So first of all, I'd install a huge helicopter landing pad onto the beach area, so that I'd be able to come and go from the island easily without going through boats since boats are pure evil."

"That'll be pretty ugly," I said. "Having this big metal platform on the beach and destroying nature."

"Fine. It'll be a big sandstone platform," he said.

"I'm ninety-nine percent sure that's not how it works but continue."

"And there'll be a whole wedding thing set up," he said. "And you and the other people will be dressed in Hawaiian shirts since suits would be way too formal."

"So it's a wedding, but more casual and with helicopters?"

"And there are going to be animals too," he said. "I'll bring in some parrots, maybe some giraffes or something to just fill the island with life."

"But the environment—"

"The environment can wait," he said. "And I'll just teleport the animals out using my teleportation machine afterwards."

"Okay... " I said.

"Whatever," he said. "The point is that it'll be epic. We'd be older at that time, so there would be alcohol flowing around—"

"Sounds like a good way to get cirrhosis and die young."

"Along with my de-alcoholing machine, so that you won't get liver disease and die. Anyways, there would be lots of rice because rice is great. Chicken curry too, and hamburgers because why not. Maybe throw in a little pineapple pizza because it's Hawaii."

"Gross," I said. "Pineapple pizza is actually evil."

"I'd kill for pineapple pizza right now," he replied. "Anyways, we'd party all night and just get tired and stare at the stars."

And as Charles continued talking, I imagined what this, admittedly very unrealistic, future would be like. We'd be lying on the beach, our stomachs so filled with food that we'd feel a bit queasy but fulfilled and happy. Our alcohol-tinged breaths would mingle in the dark as waves crashed in the distance, but instead of being violent tides sweeping over the beach, it'd be a calm, soothing lapping.

He'd point up at the stars and draw Orion on the summer sky while I'd dig my fingernails into the sand, feeling the soothing grittiness on my hands. And the moon would be in its right place in the sky, not too close for comfort, but not too far away. Just in a perfect crescent. Life would just pause for a minute because even it knows that sometimes people deserve to have the best times of their lives extended for just a little longer.

"It would be paradise," Charles said.

"It would," I said and sighed. "If only it were true."

"Our dreams are the closest to reality that we got," he said, and I opened my eyes. "Do you want to finish the rest of the book or head back?"

"I think I've got what I wanted," I said. "Thanks."

"You want to keep the book?" he asked. "I doubt that the library volunteer would mind."

"Nah," I said. "Let's leave it back here. Let other people dream of better futures too."

"That's a good idea," he said and tucked the book back into the shelf, sticking it a little out.

"It's just if I want to find it again," he added and turned towards me. "So you were saying something about how you got extra time to come here."

"Well, I had to ask my mom about it," I replied. "She was alright with it, but my Dad had an incident yesterday, and my mom shut down our house. I'm only allowed to leave once a week."

"So the food..."

"Yeah," I said. "I think I've got a plan."

"Which is?"

"I'm going to get a bag of food and set it outside on Friday," I said. "All you need to do is to grab it sometime in the morning."

"Thanks for doing this," he said.

"No worries," I said. "There's just something I need to ask you."

"Name it, and you've got it."

"I'll need something, like a garlic or potato, from the garden," I replied. "Mom's been bugging me about it, and if it's a long ask, then I'll make up some excuse for it, but, you know, sometimes—"

"I'll do my best to find something," he said. "Don't need to worry."

"You need me to walk you back to your house?" I asked.

"Nah," he said. "I'm staying here a little longer. It's nice."

"Okay," I replied and started walking to the front of the library. "Goodbye."

"Goodbye," he said, and he burrowed deeper into the sections of books.

I went up to the front desk and returned the flashlight. The front desk volunteer asked if I had any books that I wanted to check out, but I shook my head and left the library. The sky was still gray, the clouds of ash still hanging over my head. And for some reason, I felt disappointed. Disappointed that life just couldn't magically get better. That the clouds couldn't just part and let the sun come out.

So when I got home and Mom asked how everything went, I told her that everything went fine. I saw May sitting on the couch and staring at the sky, dreaming of getting out of this city and to be with her friends and everyone else who has moved to the South. When I walked into my room, I saw Mira gazing at the photos from yesterday and crying softly, dreaming of a future where she and Leon could be together.

I sat next to her in silence, giving her the best sense of comfort that I could since I didn't know what to say. So I just sat there as her tears came out, saying absolutely nothing. Everything feels caked with ash. The streets, our roof, our hopes, our dreams, our futures, our everything.