Well at Least I’m a Magic Pirate Now

Chapter 30: Well at Least She Seems Into Me



Sareneth 22

Sandara’s lips were soft and warm, with just a hint of salt and rum. Without missing a beat, she wrapped an arm around my back, pulling me down to bend over the table. Our breath passed back and forth as we pressed our bodies together, crushing her barely contained breasts against my chest. I felt her hands explore my body even as I did the same to her lovely curves.

Unfortunately we had to come up for air eventually. Her full lips were set in a pleased smile as her dark eyes sparkled with mischief. I’d crawled onto the table

“Well that was fun, but that seems like enough for the night.” She said lightly, placing a hand on my chest and pushing lightly. “So, how about cards?”

What? We make out for the first time, and that’s all you have to say? 

“Oh?” I countered, “I was thinking I’d like more of that.”

“I’d love to, but I’ve recently been reminded that I’m in recovery.” She teased, “I’m so delicate right now.”

Okay. I can’t bungle this. I know she’s a tease. I know she likes being bossed around. Dammit, no means no… but I’m really not getting the impression she’s not interested, so no probably means something else too. I need more information. Autopilot, time to try that new mind reading thing.

Using a skill check or class feature will end Keep Watch. 

I’ve got spell slots. Do it. 

I pulled away from Sandara, kneeling on the table and adopting a thoughtful expression as I continued to straddle her. Keeping her pinned without being too aggressively sexual seemed like my best bet while Autopilot ran in the background. I could pivot into trolling or a power play easily, both of which would probably work well with Sandara depending on her mood.

(Target has Succeeded her saving throw versus Read Thoughts.)

(Opposed Bluff 6+= to conceal mental intrusion)

Right. Her Will Save is massive. That’s on me. Uh. Sense motive?

(Sense motive 20+1=21 Critical success)

Given her prior statements and behavior on the night she believed we were attempting to charm her into bed, it is likely she values her autonomy. We can not directly argue against her stated intent or risk offending her. However, given her kinks and faith it is likely that she would lose interest and perhaps even general respect if we backed down completely. 

Back off but also go all in? Any ideas? 

She was capable of healing, so I thought she might enjoy edge play. I used mage hand to call a knife from the wall to my hand and-stopped my body from doing anything stupid, since Sandara’s eyes were already widening with shock. (Diplomacy to seduce: 1+4=5, critical failure

). Unfortunately I had a knife in my hand for reasons that eluded me, and Autopilot needed time to stop being insane.

Don’t back down, don’t threaten her, and don’t look like an insane person. I need to spin this. 

I gave her my best cheeky wink and stood up, leaving her on the table. I toyed with the knife, passing it from one hand to the other in what I genuinely hoped was a casual way. Sandara pushed herself up to a seated position, though I noted that she was making much less of a display.

“Oh well.” I blustered, “I was hoping to have a bit of fun, but you’re right. We have a far more important issue to address. Where did you get that shirt?”

“The.. shirt?” She asked, looking down at her straining top.

“Yes. I imagine you took it from Caulky’s sea chest.” I confirmed. “Stealing from an officer? Tsk tsk.”

“Oh? I wouldn’t say stolen.” She said frankly, the tension slowly draining from her body, “I only borrowed it.”

“You’ll have to return it. Now, before it’s missed.” I commanded, gaining momentum as I examined the knife theatrically. “Either you take it off yourself or I can cut it off for you.”

“Alright, sir.” She agreed, undoing her buttons with an amused smile. “No need to hurt the poor shirt.”

She maintained eye contact as she slowly stripped off the shirt, revealing creamy skin marred only by a few recent burn scars. The tight bandages had presumably come off once she healed herself, so I got a delightful view of her full breasts.

“Happy now?” She asked, one hand on her hip.

“Of course not.” I answered, “I said it needed to be returned, not just taken off. Bring it back to Miss Tarroon’s room, and come back.”

That got her; her eyes widened as she let out a single bark of laughter.

“You want me to walk all the way to Caulky’s room topless?” She asked, “What if I’m seen?”

“You have my permission to get a replacement from your sea chest in the hold first.” I answered in as steady a voice as I could muster. “Do be careful not to wake anyone should you do so. If someone does see you, by all means inform them that you are naked on my orders. I’ll take the heat.”

We stared at one another for several moments, her black eyes meeting my red orbs. She backed down first, snatching Caulky’s shirt off the table and leaving the galley. (Sandara is impressed. You have gained one point of influence. You now have moderate sway with Sandara.)

The moment she turned the corner, I rushed out after her on silent bare feet. Unfortunately, in my haste I was not entirely silent. (Stealth 4+9=13) I made a beeline for the hold, where I popped the simple lock on her footlocker and pulled out a shirt, fresh pants, and stays for her. (Disable device 15+6=21) If she was going to be compliant with me, it seemed best to reward that compliance. 

Despite my obvious advantage in the form of darkvision, Sandara returned only moments after I did. Her cheeks were flushed, and I could smell her arousal when she entered the room. (Opposed Sense motive 17+1=18)

“Good,” I greeted her, proffering the procured clothing. “I took the liberty of retrieving this from your trunk. I hope it’s an acceptable outfit, but if you’d prefer to stay as you are I wouldn’t complain.”

“I’m sure you wouldn’t,” she noted sarcastically, before holding her small Jolly Roger and chanting in the name of Besmara.

The room filled with dense fog, making it difficult to see anything more than a foot away. I could track Sandara’s position, but she was little more than a silhouette through the Obscuring Mist spell. Quite a bit was left to the imagination as she quickly stripped and replaced her garments.

Damn. Look at her go! She can dress really quickly when she’s not putting on a show. 

Sandara dismissed the cloud of mist only after hopping back on the table, once again displaying herself. Having just seen her entirely naked, I was given new appreciation for her stays’ ability to display her cleavage. They had a push up effect, making her look particularly perky.

“So, how about cards?” I forced myself to say, throwing her words back at her. “Of course if you wanted something else I’m sure I could be persuaded.”

She narrowed her eyes, and sat down. She smelled like sex to my sharp elven senses and looked great, but I wasn’t going to push any further than I already had.

“So,” I said after reapplying Keep Watch. “I hope you’ve been having fun tonight, but I think we should have a chat about something important.”

“What did you have in mind?” She huffed, pulling the cards out of their drawer and shuffling them. “We’ve got time to kill.”

“I’m interested in you, and I know you like playing with authority,” I informed her, “but there are limits to how much I want to get yanked around. First, I don’t want any insubordination when we are in the field. From what you told me about Besmara, I don’t think you’d get a good reception if you endangered yourself trying to get your jollies off.”

“Fair enough,” Sandara said, accepting my first and most important rule easily enough.

“Second, if you say no or that you’re done, I’ll accept it, but that’ll be that for the night unless you have the guts to admit you made a mistake. Deal?”

“Fine,” she sighed, “kill the fun, why don’t ya?”

“It’s one rule.” I countered, “one which puts all the power in your hands to stop me if I’m pushing too hard. Don’t cut things short and we can have all the fun in the world. If you’d prefer, we could always make some kind of code word and I’ll keep going unless you use it.”

“Ugh. I’ll think about it.” She grumbled, clearly still frustrated as she dealt the cards. “Are we playing or what?”

I took the cards and we played a few hands. Her mood gradually improved as I caught her up on the latest petty gossip from the ship. I was pretty sure that whatever Autopilot had in mind for that knife would have been disastrous, but I’d only done a little better. Sandara was not making this easy for me.

“Scourge was demoted all the way down to swab, apparently.” I informed her, “either that or he will be in the crow’s nest full time, or maybe he’s going to be living as a pig until his debt contract can be sold off in port. Hell if I know; there was a lot of speculation flying around.”

“Serves him right, whatever happens.” Sandara chuckled, “but the swab thing seems most likely. He’s friends with the captain’s kid. No way he’s gonna get his contract auctioned off.”

“So he’s getting off pretty easy?” I asked. “Doesn’t that piss you off?”

“A little, but what can you do?” She answered with a shrug. “I’m not going to mutiny over it.”

“I’m thinking I might try starting my own crew.” I confided, “I think I can probably put together enough coin to pay for a ship. Would you be interested?”

“That depends,” she said, “whose flag are you going to be flying?”

I don’t understand the question, which is a bad sign. Do I own up to being ignorant, or do I save face and ask someone else? Eh… middle road. I’m pretty sure she knows I’m new to this whole pirate thing. 

“I’m still not sure.” I deflected, “Who would you recommend? I’d prefer just going solo, but I don’t get the impression that would end well.”

“Yeah, someone would kill you just for the ship without a fleet to hide behind.” She answered with a snort. “No offense, but you’re not likely to scare anyone off right now. As to what fleet to join? Harrigan would be the easiest, but his name doesn’t have too much weight right now.”

Oh. Right. Pirates. It’s a free for all unless I can name drop to threaten people. That said, not Harrigan. He could be worse, but fuck that guy. 

“Let’s assume for the sake of argument I don’t want to work for him.” I said, deadpan, “I’m not the biggest fan of his hiring policy, and I’d prefer to make my own decisions.”

“Fair point,” she conceded, “but most Lords would want something in return for their protection; fighting in their wars, giving them a cut of your profits, doing jobs for them on demand. That kind of thing is typical. You can also register as a Free Captain with the Hurricane King, but it’s best to hold off on that until you’re established.”

“What does registering do?” I asked, perplexed.

“Obligates you to help defend the Shackles from invaders, in return for the Hurricane King’s protection.” Sandara explained. “None of the Pirate Lords could fight off a proper Chelish Fleet alone, not even old Bonefist or Ragsmauda. We’ve got a good thing here, so every lord and free captain hunts down enemies of the Shackles in our waters.”

“What happens if you just don’t?” I voiced the obvious question.

“Usually a bounty on your head, posted by the Lord’s Council.” She answered lightly, “not a big one at first, and you can get it removed if you ask in the right ways, but if you make a habit of it you’ll be hunted wherever you go. There are pirates, even a few lords, who make their living off of hunting down cowards.”

Of course. It’s a fucking piratocracy and I still need to worry about local regulations before breaking into a new industry. I even have to choose between going independent with my own startup capital as a free captain or franchising by joining an existing fleet. Never Split the Party covers personnel, but only if I have a pretty damn small ship. Here I was, thinking I’d just need to buy, outfit, and provision a ship. 

“Oi,” Sandara snapped, “you playing your card or what?”

“Right,” I said apologetically, “got lost in my thoughts there.”

I was disappointed that I didn’t get into Sandara’s pants that night, but I didn’t exactly strike out either. There would be other nights for Sandara the sexy redhead, after we’d figured out what each of us could and couldn’t do without ruining the fun. That night, I enjoyed the company of Sandara, my friend. We polished off her bottle of transmuted rum, our conversation becoming less serious as we grew pleasantly buzzed.


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