Warship’s Mania

A small amount of alarm welled up inside me when I smelled smoke through my arboretum avatar. My arboretum was by far the largest enclosed space within my Greater Self. So large, in fact, that like some facilities used by the aerospace giants of Becca's 21^st century it had its own climate. Couple that with a robust biosphere and you had actual clean fresh air. In fact, this was the main reason for the cleanliness and freshness of the air contained within my Greater Self, or my 'breath' as my crew often called it. Incense was up there with chocolate and coffee in cultural and religious importance with the Mezhained, and often burned in a ritualistic showing of trust of a Ship's breath; often enough that at least two thirds of my avatars smelled its aromas at any time even when it wasn't burned right in front of my taborets. But this wasn't incense.

First of all, the sheer volume—while not on the scale of a house or forest fire—overwhelmed even the fragrance of the flowers woven into my hair. Second, it didn't have the same aromatic quality. This was just the smell of burning wood.

I consciously focused on my arboretum's sensors, normally unnoticed in the back of my conscious mind. None of the readings broke the threshold to trigger automatic fire extinguishing procedures but that ancient primal fear of fire lingered. Why would a spaceship deity be afraid of fire?

Obviously because I'm a fa—

"Oh, Ship Shissurna." The warm and jovial voice of Ozhomannel greeted me. "Come to check on the progress of your victory meal, have you? Or if you wanted to learn the recipe I'm afraid you're a bit too late to observe." He was stoking a fire in a simple stone oven. At his feet a baking tin with chocolate cake batter.

"I..." I decided to be honest. "I smelled smoke."

His mouth curled into a warm fatherly smile. At least, I figured it was fatherly. Russel Kendarr was in Becca's memories for only a few years. Not enough time to learn firsthand what a real father was like, but he was the closest. None of the men that wretched woman cheated on him with ever stuck around long enough aside from her dealer: a cruel man who could only further his own existence by exploiting others. Ozhomannel was not like that. None of my crew was like that. "In my vocation the relationship between humanity and its surrounding biosphere are studied," he said. "We examine what humans depend on that other species provide, from cows, to wool dogs, to trees."

Wool dogs? My knowledge tree filled me in. The image of a large white dog looking like a 21^st century spitz formed before my mind's eye. Their thick fur had excellent insulating properties and was often used for traditional Mezhained void suits. There was a pack of them, right here, in my arboretum. I had wool dogs. And with that known, I suddenly found I could separate their scents from the arboretum's general odor, and hear their yelps from the surrounding murmur of life. The knowledge of their presence had graduated into true knowing.

Ozhomannel continued as I quietly cursed the obtrusiveness of my knowledge tree. "In this examination a lot of us tend to gain an appreciation for the simplest technologies needed to maintain a human life. Personally, my interest goes to the preparation of food. It's simply fascinating how many sources of nutrition become available with just the most rudimentary of tools." He patted the side of the oven. A cool sound that betrayed the solidity of the thing. "This design is about the simplest for a permanent oven and was most likely used by the dawn clade."

"Dawn clade?" I stifled the threat of my knowledge tree. This term intrigued me, let him explain it.

"The humans who only knew Illarzhu—the first planet—as their home. All other clades of humanity sprang from them."

My eyes went wide as my suspicions gained traction. Illarzhu had to be earth. Earth, where the United States were, where Texas was, where Becca lived so long ago.

"You have copies of the Gavaren Eshom cycle, if you want to know more about the dawn clade and Illarzhu," Ozhomannel said. He clearly had read the curiosity on my face. "And it's recorded in your knowledge tree, too, of course."

"I'd rather read it, thank you very much!"

He chuckled. "I must warn you, though. There's not much there, and what is there has faded into myth. Those writings are from before we accessed Vatugnem." He thought for a moment. "Your sisters—Ships Velramuran and Namamiluma—no doubt could recommend you countless books on the subject, both Mezhained and foreign."

"Ran's already at the entry point. I'll ask her."

Ran had been the first thing I saw after the last superluminal translation to the Erlkandr-Ikkatfo 4 entry point. Now, in my final approach via mundane drive, and before I could ask for reading recommendations, she invited me for a Ship to Ship communication. I hadn't even finished my breaking sequence, for Pete's sake.

Before the image of her avatar could even load from her feed I saw the lights sparkling on her bow: fountains of white radiating from the center of her heraldry with tracers that terminated in green and red embers. Despite the colors, the emotion these lights conveyed obviously couldn't be Christmas cheer. Her avatar, when it appeared, was already seated and holding a steaming cup of coffee. All three of her eyes stared ahead, not even giving me a glance. And her smile... She was so smug.

All right, I'll bite.

I completed my breaking procedure, closely matching my orbit with hers, and sent her a flurry of visual data showing my own avatar in the midst of little indigo cubes backlit with violet light. I barely had time to open my mouth.

"Have you been given the answer?" Her voice beamed over me, pushing my words back before they could even leave my virtual throat.

Sitting in the midst of pulsing green flashes, I frowned. "What answer to what question?" My words were edged with the bite of anger.

"The answer to the question that was troubling you so much earlier." Ran set down her coffee and shifted her virtual body. In a startling flash she was next to me on my own bow leaning in to whisper in my ear. "The answer to the question of what you are."

The lights on my hull had changed again. This time to blue spikes. "I-isn't that obvious? A Ship! A Vugni?"

She started drumming her fingers on my hull, an eerie sound audible even to my physical avatars but not my crew. "That is not true knowing, that is mere knowledge." Now she hummed between words. "Think back to the battle." She traced a finger over the missile ports on my seventh petal all the way to the cannons and coil guns. "I know you fired these. What did you feel when you let all that firepower rain upon our enemies?"

With a start I recognized what she was humming, what rhythm she conveyed with her fingers: the litany of the Warship.

It all came back to me now. The hum of the capacitor spires, the thumping of my coilguns firing, missile arrays rattling, particle beams leaving my cannons with shrieks. All music that had thundered through my Greater Self. I had let myself be known to the world in a concerto of uncontested destruction. The colorless flame at Hekkamuk's spearhead began to bubble to make way for magenta and violet. What was inside had come out again.

A laugh tinkled behind Ran's shark teeth. "Yes, you felt it and are feeling it once more! Let it give you the answer!"

Stop! Please stop! The words wouldn't come out. I clutched my head and grabbed her fingers with two of my free hands, to no avail. My bow was already blazing in orange. I tried once more to plead mercy but I could only scream.

A smear appeared a little ways from us. Too small to be Namamiluma, it had to be one of my fellow Warships. Ela, or Dai! Whoever you are, please help me!

The smear became a more solid shape as she approached us. Ran paid her no heed and kept goading me on. "You're so close now! What is it that only us young wandering suns know??"

As Elanansur became clear to us, and we became clear to her, her hull began to light up with arcs of indigo cubes. My horned sister joined in with her avatar. "Ran, what are you doing to Shishi?"

"Teaching her not to fear life." She then turned back to me. "Tell us. What are you?"

"I am..." What was I really? This thing with the power to end worlds. A tool wielded to let a people live peacefully by paradoxically enacting violence on those who opposed them. In all this fire the answer came to me with a wicked, shark toothed grin. "A weapon."

"Correct!" Ran was back on her own bow in a flash. "But not just simply a mindless weapon that can be wielded by any brute. We have a passion that can only come from a noble spirit."

I was still grinning with that murderous glee. "Warship's mania..."

"That is what the Mezhained call it. But this passion is so powerful we had to give it our own word: Yamurduk!" She stood up and pulled her sword out, pointing it in front of her with a fully stretched arm. Its blade burned with a controlled verdant fire. "It is born from the love for those who love us. It grants us the strength to face our enemies. We feel this boundless joy because we have, once again, protected the our crews and their families with the Vuzhezhmagnan." She pointed her sword at me. No. It pointed at Hekkamuk's fire. But in a way that was me, too. "This fire is the light of your life, the noble purpose entrusted to you!"

I aquiesced, settling into my role as a violence fairy. What a shame there were no enemies about.

"Shishi, that's quite enough." Velteragni had stepped in. Though she was not privy to the meeting of sister Warships, she could still see my fire on the physical Hekkamuk. Not to mention the tics that accompanied my current state. "Ran says you have learned whatever it is you needed to learn."

I spun around to face her. "Ragniiiiiiiiiiiiii," I cried in halting elation, "Help meeeee~! I have no enemies to murder."

"Sounds like high time to contemplate the petals."

"I don't want to contemplate the petals," I said. "I love youuuuuu and I wanna bite youuuuuuu. Let me biiiiiiiite~!"

"Bite?" She had an idea. "All right, open your mouth."

I opened my maw, the sharp implements in there no doubt glinting in the light.

Velteragni stuck out her hand and managed to find place for three fingers in my mouth. My mandible snapped up in reflex. My fire wavered. I had stopped just short of having my teeth cut off her fingers. My own fingers twitched and my eyes focused, unfocused, refocused. I had not even broken her skin, would not break her skin, could not break her skin. She had not given me explicit permission to harm her. I could only default to protection.

I don't know how long it was until she spoke again. "Allow me to make a blood offer." She partially pulled her fingers out, leaving only her index finger and pressed down on the point of one of those accursed teeth. This time it was fine. More than fine. I let the tangy metallic warmth trickle into my mouth, coaxing it with my tongue into a more satisfying flow. I had to be blushing but that was okay. No I would not redirect it to a secondary. My Ragni was allowed to see it.

Hekkamuk's flame must've been pale and colorless for a while when I finally let her finger go. I muttered thanks and was granted that smile of hers again.

Blue discs with edges that crossed into ultra violet dotted Ela's bow. She seemed bothered. "You didn't have to do that, Ran."

"Didn't have to do what, dear little sister mine?" Ran had the sparklers of smugness around her again, this time with a smathering of gold particles.

"Pushing Shishi into Yamerduk. We all knew she would experience it in battle. So no need to push her into it after we already won, all right?"

Ran's eyes were on the blade of her sword. "I merely wanted to be certain she knew the nature of her existence. Besides, your Ragni was fine with it."

"She's Shishi's Ragni now, and Yamurduk belongs on the battlefield."

Green fire returned to Ran's sword. "It's worth learning to control it during peaceful times. They want us to show it off at the festival, after all." The green fire grew bigger and brighter. "But I'm jealous." Some orange started to blaze over her hull. "Young Shissurna, that long range gravitational beam emitter of yours is so absurd." She bit her thumb. "I should like to have such firepower."

It was absurd. The only purpose it could possible have was to violently—oh, so violently— collapse stars. What would Erlkandr look like in its death throes? I could find out momentarily if I—

My fire had begun to blaze again.

"No no no no!" I blurted out. "Contemplate the petals, contemplate the petals!"

"Ran!" Ela yelled.

"Oh my!" Ran's smile was crooked. "Let us embrace the joy of Yamurduk together, youngest sister of ours. You and I, we are supreme weapons! Don't let anyone deny us our noble purpose!"

"Oh, shut it, you stupid brat!"

Shock ran over Ela's heraldry like an icier form of the yellow bristles of surprise. Her mouth slackened into a gape and within less than a moment she was next to me on my hull, failing to grasp all of my free hands in hers. "Shishi, you didn't mean that! You're a good girl!" And to Ran she shouted. "Stop bothering her!"

Surrounded by proper yellow bristles Ran blinked in surprise, then let out a ladylike laugh. The bristles broke off in gold particles. "Ah, but it is so good to have lively sisters like you. Don't you ever leave me." There was a faint beige form slithering behind the golden particles. Was it melancholy? I decided not to press it and concentrated on the contemplation of falling petals.

Slowly and deeply I breathed in through my arboretum avatar's nose, and indeed a petal fell from one of the flowers in my hair, twirling lazily to the ground. "The cake smells good," I told Ozhomannel. He responded with a smile and nod as dignified and respectful as any bow. By now I was pretty sure he was the one who had woven those flowers in my hair, and not just for purely aesthetic reasons.

My fire had receded and the flame on Hekkamuk's spearhead had gone back to being pale and colorless. Were sisters always this much of a pain? I wondered.