Waifu Catalog: Warcraft Beta Tester

Working Vacation



6/16 alternate timeline.

Lividia had been swatted out of the air by one of Neffie’s old gods, so I was going stag again for the first few nights. That gave me plenty of time to plan out my attack plan, mostly by testing the specific nuances of certain types of magic. Selena and Vanessa were my go-to pair for that, especially when it came to making sure it was Fun™, but I had one rather important person to check in with before almost anything else

••••••••••

The newest big name member of my retinue had been processed for me by Talaada a few days before I arrived. Neltharia towered over me in my elf form, taking on the visage of a well muscled female Vrykul. However, Talaada had drawn upon my memories to give her a style which was entirely anachronistic but matched the charismatic sociopath just a bit too well for me to care.

https://imgur.com/a/T0CF6W5

“Master.” She greeted me with a husky voice. “I’m glad to finally meet you. I’ve managed to pump enough information out of your priestess to know a bit about the structure of your organization; what do you want from me?” She tilted her head, smiling slightly. “I notice that all of my consorts are female, but I have quite a few children. I’m guessing that transformation implies one use you might have for me?”

“I want you all.” I answered, taking on my Eros persona so I could look down on the towering woman. “All of the dragon aspects, all of the Titan Keepers, and everyone that answers to any of you. I know you can manage that, right? Especially if you are as clued in as you say you are.”

“Of course.” She purred, looking up at me appreciatively. “Malygosa will be easiest. I’ve been her lover regularly since we became aspects. She never says no if I want a piece of her. I’ll need my memory of being male back, though. I think your priestess was a bit premature there.”

“Malygosa?” I asked, confused.

“The blue aspect, yes.” She matched my confusion. “Is something amiss?”

I sent a ping to my new team of archivists at Azshara’s palace, requesting an explanation. They had been put in charge of tracking everything that happened to anyone in the retinue. Thankfully it wasn’t anything too complicated: Onyxia had just busted into the prison floating above the Nexus and released several powerful dragons from captivity, completing a mission in the process.

Lead a successful assault on The Oculus

Reward: Blue dragon transformation added to amulets

Patron: all natural blue dragons in all timelines will retroactively gain the sex and sexual habits prescribed by Malygosa.

I chuckled, very pleased. Making all blue dragons everywhere into hot, slutty nerds wasn’t exactly the most practical thing ever, but it would have knock on effects. Blue dragons had been relatively isolationist; if they had to go out and find lovers outside of their flight any time they wanted to reproduce, that would make them much more accessible in any given timeline. On a micro level, this also meant that Aerith could turn into a blue dragon now, which I imagined would magnify her strength even further.

“No, no. Malygosa used to be male and I didn’t know he was already a she in this timeline. Ask for a writeup through Azshara’s palace if you want to know more about the details. So, do you think you can get close enough to touch all five aspects within the next five days?” I was hoping that was a yes. The Aspects were some of my heaviest hitters, and picking up another set of five would go a long way towards picking up all of the dragons in the multiverse. Especially Nozdormu; as far as I knew, the bronze Aspect still didn’t know I was active in this timeline and he was the last I needed to complete the set.

“I’ll see what I can do. Malygosa and Alexstrasza will be the easiest. The other two can be harder to pin down; Ysera tends to at least attend Accord meetings, but Nozdormu tends to send Soridormi half the time, even for those.”

“That’s fine. Get on that; do you need anything from me?”

“Ten Jewels that haven’t been depleted this cycle. I can get them very, very quickly if I have those. After that, I think I can manage everything by the end of the month.”

••••••••••

https://imgur.com/a/zji0ycl

Tarin woke up, her ears still ringing. She worked her way out of the wreckage, thanking the Naaru for preserving her through the crash of the Exodar. She was surrounded by the critically injured, but thanks to the ship’s impact dampeners many would survive. The young vindicator rushed to their aid, channeling the Naaru’s light to keep her fellow Draenei alive for another day.

She felt a strange sense of loss, something she could not hope to explain, but could not afford to reflect upon the hollow pit in her stomach until both her body and mind were exhausted pulling people from the wreckage.

She dropped her hammer at her side and examined her body for any injuries. She was in perfect condition, thank the Naaru, but she found a strange ring on her finger; it was a thing of beauty, but she didn’t remember where she got it. Trying to take her mind off of the moans of the injured she could not help, Tarin examined it more closely and felt words flood through her mind.

Tyrande Missions

Cleanse Ammen Vale of Contamination

Reward: Unlock Heroic Equipment

Patron: Botanist Taerix

Find your partner

Reward: Tome of Normalization (reusable 1/day)

Patron: Power Swap: Draenei Paladin

There were so many words that meant nothing to Tarin. Who was Tyrande? Was this her ring? What did Taerix have to do with any of this? What partner? What’s a Paladin?

When she was well enough to stand, Taerix unsteadily pulled herself to her hooves and made her way to the mostly intact greenhouse module that her fellow survivors were using as an impromptu triage center. If Taerix was alive and nearby, Naaru permitting, she would be there.

••••••••••

I took my time considering purchases for the catalog, but in the end I decided to focus on strengthening my isekais and my secondary binding. Even with As the Shadow Wills It, I needed a better line of communication. The sheer level of benefit I could foresee from telling Aerith that Love confessions would work was massive all on it’s own. To that end, I picked up “I’ve Got Your Number” for ten credits. It would let me, or a chosen proxy, have a ten minute phone call with my isekais once per day (or 16 days, from their point of view). Easily enough to give them some guidance.

I also picked up an upgrade to Red String of Fate that allowed it to draw in the people it was set to detect. It was the difference between telling who at the bar would be willing to sleep with you at a glance, and sitting at a bar and having someone attractive and interested come in off the street on impulse. The biggest advantage was that it could be done passively; people who needed healing or wanted eternal youth would find themselves drawn to my recruitment centers by chance.

The last 20 credits went to Ward and Ritual Anchor, partly because of their combo potential. Ward would allow my ritual circles to make an impenetrable force field that could even hold out gods if I put that much energy into them. It worked both ways, but erecting a god-proof wall around myself seemed like it could be useful sometimes.

Ritual Anchor allowed me to attach my rituals to items instead of circles on the ground. For one thing, an iron sphere inscribed with runes is just a bit harder to disrupt than a chalk or ink circle. For another, they could be used to make bootleg tempest jewelry.

Any item slightly bigger than a marble could be indefinitely infused with energy capable of subtly enslaving anyone tier 6 or lower in about three and a half days. It could capture tier 7-9 as well, but they’d be able to tell something was happening and easily identify the cause. Not all of my isekais could use the ritual binding, but those that could would benefit greatly from something like this.

••••••••••

A lot of my time that week was spent on setting up my brand new Hotel California. In the two weeks since I’d last been here, the Highmountain tauren had been pacified and incorporated into the Kaldorei army, and the reward was secured.

Cattle

Have the Ancient Highmountain Tribe of Tauren willingly incorporated into the Kaldorei Empire as favored servants. At least 90% of the tribe must serve Kaldorei masters in some capacity with no active coercion for this mission to complete. Bonus if you directly convince at least half of them through your own actions.

Reward: 10 Credits, Hotel California

Bonus: Deluxe Mission Ticket (failed)

Hotel California created a company space that connected to every world I had access to. I couldn’t use it as a hub for transport, but random people could wander in from all over the cosmos if they would be interested in serving as customers. They’d leave when they were done, but while they were here they’d be vulnerable to via the company space’s power. Not by any other method, mind you, but anyone who willingly stayed for long enough and was a good enough fit would be reshaped into an employee and added to my retinue. They could then leave or stay, but they’d be transformed to fit the theme of the business.

The choice of aesthetic seemed obvious to me: The Temple of Love and Beauty seemed like such an obvious front, and seeding priests and priestesses of love and beauty across the worlds would provide a huge potential benefit to my isekais. On top of that, the Xin-Azshari timeline was far enough along that I didn’t really see a need to keep Talaada tied doen managing it. Instead, my high priestess could serve here as a religious leader, a healer, a manager, and a Madame, at least until Soridormi found another timeline that was as accelerated as this one.

Unfortunately, this upgrade was not plug and play. Quoth the Catalog:

You are immune to your own building’s effects, but will be required to experience every one of your employee’s jobs firsthand at least once. (Temporary genderbending and other transformations will be provided if necessary.)

Worth the trouble, yes, but if I wanted this to be the temple/hospital/brothel/inn I had in mind I would need to put in a shift in every role. Religious counsel was easy enough; I just needed to give advice as best I could. I was a mediocre cook, but it wasn’t hard to help make a vat of soup. Hospitality was not fun but it wasn’t exactly difficult. Keep in mind I didn’t actually have to do any of these particularly well.

I’ve been a healer before, and that role mostly consisted of me waiting on standby for injured people to stumble in. I spent most of my time catching up with my shows. That day was mostly dedicated to the amnesiac couple, Tyrande and Mallory. Shame those crazy kids didn’t seal the deal before they were sent forth into the world.

••••••••••

https://imgur.com/a/9xWY5XH

Mallory approached the front gate of Northshire Abbey. With all the craziness down south, the dark portal and all, the Stormwind army was as busy as always. They needed new recruits for local troubles. Kobolds, gnolls. the remains of the Defias Brotherhood, even the Blackrock Orcs still had a strong presence in Redridge.

As a hunter with a fair bit of skill with the bow, Mallory believed it was his duty to fill a gap in the shield wall. There was more to it, though. He had woken up with an amulet this morning, and when he touched it he’d felt a rush of information flow through him.

Malfurion Missions

Secure Northshire for the Alliance (clear out the kobolds from echo ridge, cut off the escape route, retake the vinyard)

Rewards: Venomstrike Bow

Patron: 100gp of mining equipment

Find your partner

Reward: Tome of Normalization (reusable 1/day)

Patron: Power Swap: Draenei Paladin

He’d heard the name Malfurion; one of the religious leaders among the night elves. Mallory felt a longing in his soul when he saw the mission to find his partner, and if Malfurion might be involved that meant going to Kalimdor for answers. To do that, he needed money or influence. Some patron giving him 100 gold pieces worth of mining equipment would surely allow him to turn that into enough money to charter a ship and get to Darnassus. If not, he’d just get some training and coin and manage some other way.

“Hello? Were you here to sign up?” A blonde woman in black and orange vestments approached Mallory. “I’m sure I could help. My name is Annetta, I’m the priest here.” She held out a hand, which Mallory took. Instantly, the priestess saw him in a whole new light.

••••••••••

The most problematic of the jobs at the Temple California was that of Sacred Prostitute, but I did have a solution. One which tied into another plan I’d been working on. I was dressed up in my temple best, ready to go, when a very special guest walked into the temple. She’d been invited, enticed with the offer for me to let her do anything she wanted with me.

I smiled when the future version of Tyrande Whisperwind walked into the room, because she wasn’t really herself. Her eyes were a more radiant white than normal, her skin infused with a blue glow, and a thousand points of light shone through her skin. More importantly, with a glance I confirmed that she had been wearing a very special anklet when she’d allowed herself to be possessed by Elune.

••••••••••

Preemptive decision: what regional perk does Tony pick up before heading out on an extraplanar expedition with Sally?

https://strawpoll.com/XOgONK5l2n3

Next part of the endgame megapoll

https://strawpoll.com/wby5Aq5OdyA


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