Waifu Catalog: Warcraft Beta Tester

So Long, Defias



4/26 noon

Thankfully the guys at the checkpoint had been told to expect me, and weren’t on high alert. That meant that the patrol had been acting alone, or at least that nobody connected me to anything. It wasn’t too hard to go off the road, keeping track of where I came from but getting out of line of sight.

Just to avoid another situation of people recognizing Erich Bismark surrounded by Brotherhood goons, I went into my presets, chose Hobo Erich from the short list, and Otto of Westfall was ready to entertain guests. They thought Erich was the disguise, so I doubted that the Brotherhood would object.

“Drusilla. Take Garrick Padfoot by the hand and will him to me.” I received an affirmative, and then after a few minutes of waiting, Padfoot was right in front of me, seeming to fall from about a foot in the air. “Good. Welcome to freedom Mr. Padfoot.” I heard a tink as three bottles of wine landed around my feet and a warning pulse told me my inventory was full. I picked up the bottles of Dalaran Noir and handed them to him. “Pass them around for the lads as they come through. Worth celebrating, ya know?”

The grin I was giving him was absolutely genuine; I was done with that valley, and the whole world was open before me. The process didn’t require anything on my part except that I serve as a destination, so I had an opportunity to think. I think you all know what I do when I have time to think.

Received: one mission ticket, twenty bottles of Dalaran Noir.

Music to my ears. High value rewards or not, I didn’t intend to spend weeks or months traveling on a ship to another continent so I could capture one ogre in a desert. Of course I didn’t want to murder a spec ops agent monitoring a violent cult, either. For that matter, I wasn’t thrilled about being forced to go to Redridge to join an assault team on a specific date. I needed more of these tickets.

First things first. I looked over the girls that were still cooking. Darcell and Annetta were due in the next two days, Lividia was nearly a full week out, and Auffrey could hold out for a solid five days at the current pace.

Creepy Kids


Severely insult Aaron, the child of Goldshire. You must actually hurt his feelings, and must do it personally.
Reward: one orb of entrancement

So The Company wants me to be a dick to a child? Fuck it. Sure. I’m going to be in Goldshire for a day or two, at most. It’s not likely this will have meaningful blowback, especially if I slap on another disguise before I do it. The company was as opaque as always, but if my guess was right the orb of entrancement was basically the phone app binding with some kind of limitations slapped on. It didn’t seem like a very efficient way to actually capture anyone on its own, but getting someone to look at something for a few seconds isn’t too hard. I’ll be a dick to a child if it means I get magic swag. It’ll build character for him. Or something.

An Intervention 
Convince Bartleby, the Stormwind drunk, to give up alcohol and do something productive with his life. You will be penalized if you are not the one to convince him.
Reward: Insignia of the Alliance, 1 credit

Not exactly ideal, but maybe I can manage it next time I am in Stormwind. Worst case scenario if I can drop a necklace on him and make alcohol cause physical pain. A necklace for a credit would be a decent trade, the insignia and Bartleby himself would just be gravy. At minimum, I doubted this one would need to be discarded.

I spent my ticket on throwing out the Dunemaul Compound mission. I’d consider it if I could just teleport over there, and I found myself hatching a plan for an effective personal portal network to avoid this problem in the future, but for now I didn’t feel like I had enough personnel to send them off to serve as waypoints.

I Can Explain
Discredit Keryn Sylvius, a rogue currently in Goldshire, getting her removed from active service in SI:7. The dismissal must be legitimate; she needs to actually do (or fail to do) something worthy of being removed from her current position, or you will be penalized.
Reward 1 credit + 1 tantric ritual rod

Another one that might take a bit of difficulty, but at least she was close. An SI:7 agent probably won’t be an easy mark; human player character rogues tended to be implied to be SI:7, and they were almost always characterized as being exactly as competent and paranoid as a baseline human would need to be to compete on equal footing with dragons and wizards. On top of that, I don’t know off the top of my head what to do to get her removed from her position. As much as I’d be turning capture into the solution for all my problems, maybe I should just slap a necklace on her and get her to go awol? I could use someone to teach me a bit about stealth and espionage; covert talent was doing its best but I’m only vaguely competent because I have secret magic powers nobody has been able to counter yet.

Good to know the limits of my morality. Murder makes me uncomfortable, kidnapping someone to turn them into my slave is practically a good in and of itself. Helps that my only retinue member so far is totally cool with it, I guess. Oh yeah, and being asked to be a dick to children didn’t phase me. I may be an asshole.

The Defias came through one at a time, roughly one every two minutes at the fastest, but sometimes with a delay of up to fifteen minutes. I noticed that the bigger the person, the longer it seemed to take her to send them to me. That could be a problem, potentially, but it seemed manageable.

Eventually, after a few hours of teleportation, I summoned a very tired and sweaty Drusilla. Apparently she’d had to physically lift each member of the brotherhood for the ten seconds required to summon them definitely explained why Big Tony, the staff wielding guy, had a fifteen minute gap before and after she sent him. Athletic talent or no, she didn’t have a very large frame and wasn’t built for powerlifting; if I’d known she had to do all that I could have used her necklace to buff her up. Whoops.

The outlaws were setting up a camp, intending to head out east after dark. There was a Defias base being set up over there, and they figured they could meet up and try to pretend Northshire never happened. I had reason to head over to Goldshire now, at least for a day, so I wouldn’t be joining them. I wanted to keep track of these poor bastards though, so with a heavy sigh I took off my necklace again.

I didn’t have any real connection to Garrick Padfoot, but Big Tony had absolutely come in clutch. I offered him the necklace. “It probably won’t have as pronounced an effect in your hands, but sometimes these things surprise me. I’d like to keep in contact, and I’m bringing Darcell with me so she can continue her training.” Tony was not an intellectual titan, nor was he particularly verbose, so he just took the necklace with a nod and tossed it around his neck. “Alright. I guess that works, bossman.” What can I say, if someone distinguishes themselves at all I want them on my team.

(Art by NovelAi https://imgur.com/a/g3siRAr)

After that, I bid the merry band of outlaws adieu, had Darcell take off her mask, and went to Goldshire with a woman on each arm. It was getting late, but I suspected that I would only need to rent one room.


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