Real Nightmare

Lying on the bed, I'm next to a goddess, Tamamo smiles at me and bids me good night. The bed, though simple, is quite comfortable and warm, but the lack of furniture reminds me of how, during the war, I often had to sleep outdoors or in the ruins of what was left of a house. After a while of wandering in my thoughts, sleep finally claims my consciousness.

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...

In front of me was once again the girl I loved so much, her body was beautiful and full despite her small size, her fox ears and tail were displayed with majestic pride, with her dark fur like the night, always accompanied by her beautiful crimson eyes. Her dress was ornate and lovely, crafted like a work of art that further accentuated the attributes of her body, combined with her black and gold, accompanied by precious stones impossible to price on Earth. She held her staff in her hand, sturdy and dignified, indicating her position of command. She was Nanami, the Empress of Atlantis, the one standing before me, looking at me with her usual melancholy gaze.

The reason?

Instead of sitting on her majestic jade throne with her servants and subjects, she was standing in front of a graveyard. She was witnessing the aftermath of her father's and her people's sins, the devastation that had spread across the continent and fallen upon the land, all because of a single act of pride, vanity, and selfishness.

The graveyard was filled with crosses as far as the eye could see, but the Atlanteans were not Catholic or religious; these graves belonged to the soldiers who, like me, had come to these cursed lands to protect their homes and try to stop the invasion of the dragons. A good number of them were dedicated to the White Cloaks, our elite troops, the best we had or could have, the ultimate dragon hunters.

"So these are the white cloaks I spoke to this morning, the ones being buried now?"

"Yes, that is correct."
"They came from their guild headquarters to the west, near Nutevak, to buy us time to escape to the south."
"What we didn't know was that it was a combined attack from both sides at the same time, and they were outnumbered 15 to 1."
"Still, they did their duty, even if it cost them their lives," I replied, looking into her eyes.
"Your people haven't stopped helping us since they arrived on our continent, and yet it is your people who have borne the brunt of our enemies' blows."

"We've told you before, we're just doing our duty, only both peoples working together will be able to put an end to these times."
"They died to give us a chance at victory, they believe in that more than in saving their own lives."

"It's impossible to replace the losses we've suffered, the next soldiers to be sent will be the farmers."
"The dragon hunters with such losses can also be considered an almost extinct race now," Empress Nanami said, looking back at the cemetery.

"Still, it's those same dragon hunters who have the most hope that one day our victory will come."
"They know that only they have the power to turn the tide of the war."
"All we ordinary humans can do is stand aside and believe that the remaining hunters will be enough to end this suffering," I tried to offer hope while being realistic about our bleak prospects.

"And you? Why do you fight?"
"You're neither strong nor capable like them, yet here you are, fighting a war you know you won't survive."

"I'm not the only one in this situation."
"Every single normal soldier, just like me, is here because they love those back home far more than they hate the enemies in front of them."
"Like you, I was just trying to defend my family back home after the dragons attacked."
"After the dragons killed my sister and mother, everything fell apart for me.
"Now I just think I'm in too deep to turn back.
"At this point, it's just victory or death, like the other soldiers say."
"......"
"Honestly, I can't believe that I have the right to stand in front of the Empress talking to her normally and looking her in the face."
"Any other high-ranking Atlantean general would be executed for such an offense."

"Well, that's because you're the only one who reminds me of the only good decision I ever made in my entire life."
"Making the agreement for both Atlanteans and humans to form an alliance to fight the dragons."
"....."
"Besides, you're unique, unlike all those bootlicking idiots."

"You're the only person who sees me as I really am."
"Instead of seeing an empress or a goddess, you're the only one who treats me like just another girl.
"Like someone with dreams, with problems, someone who can make mistakes and have doubts, fears."
"Everyone here sees me as a heavenly being above life itself, when in reality I'm just as afraid of death as anyone else."

"So you don't want to tell others that you married me two months after I came to this place and saved you from the dragons who tried to kidnap you."

"I have no idea how others would react if they found out that you are now the Emperor of Atlantis."
"If that title means anything now, then all that's left is a dead kingdom awaiting its own destruction."
"So I have already decided that when all this is over, I will leave all this behind as well and escape with you to your world. "
"I don't care about anything anymore, this place just deserves to perish.
"I just want to live with you in a world without dragons, even in poverty.

As I turned, machine gun fire filled the entire place; a fierce battle raged with every spoonful of earth. In the heat of the battle, one order had been given: defend the Celestial Forge at all costs. My fellow warriors died by my side, cursing their enemies and howling for their families. We were so close to completing our journey, to finally begin our revenge, to reclaim our hope. At our side, in the heart of Atlantis, the ultimate weapon to kill the dragons was being forged: the Orichalcum Sword that Nanami had sworn to create. All we had to do was buy time for its completion.

But the dragons were too powerful, and my two companions were killed by one of their energy beams. I knew that I would be next.
In a desperate charge driven by both fear and anger, I threw myself forward, trying to take down as many dragons as I could. But within minutes, the only one with a torn body was mine. I can see Nanami's face in front of me, her tears as rare as genuine falling on my face, a sorrow I couldn't feel.

"Please, no, no, no."
"This wasn't supposed to happen."
"You weren't supposed to leave me."
"We were supposed to go together, you shouldn't have left me alone."

Nanami's hands gently caress my horribly disfigured face, made worse by my wounds. I'm just thankful that the blood is enough to prevent her from seeing me clearly as she tries to tend to my wounds despite the silent tears that prevent her from facing the reality in front of her.

"Nanami, don't worry."
"These things happen in war, it was only a matter of time, we both knew it."
"No matter what happens, I'll always take care of you, I'll always be by your side.
"I'll never forget you, I'll always love you, no matter how much time passes."

Even in my last moments, even with my last breath, all I could think about was how to make her smile one last time as a farewell.

"No, don't talk, you must save your strength!"
"We have to get out of here, there's still a long way to go."
"The dragons are not defeated!"
"You and I haven't returned to your world yet!"
"We haven't visited your home, we haven't met your family."
"You haven't rescued Luna yet! She's still trapped, remember!"
"You can't leave yet! There's still so much to do!" The little princess said, her voice shaking.

"There's so much to do..."
"But I won't be able to accompany you..."
"I'm sorry for breaking my promise..."
"I regret having to ask you to save Luna..."
"I also regret having to say goodbye to her this way..."

"No, no, you can't give up! Not like this!"
"We'll get through this, I'll find you a good doctor."
"Rose is already on her way, she can heal you! You'll get better!"

"Then we would go to Japan, remember?"
"We would go to that place where they sell lots of books with drawings, like the ones you always bring me as gifts."
"And there was your house too! The house where you grew up!"
"We would take Luna to see your real house, to feel the warmth of the real sun.
"The peaceful world we always talked about those afternoons." The girl tried to hold on to her hope, even though she knew how futile it was.

"Yes... that... you're right..."
"I wanted to see you there too... I had started to forget all that..."
"It's a shame that... you have to go without me..."
"Please greet my mother for me... tell her that I always loved her... despite all the crap I said..."
"That I love her despite never being her favorite son..."

"I can't do it, I can't do it without you by my side!"
"You are my only strength, my only hope.
"My only reason to live." Nanami squeezed my hand tightly, as if she could keep me at her side with that gesture.

"I'm just a nobody, with no right to anything, with no fate."
"You are a strong Empress, surely you can move forward and find someone more worthy than me to be at your side."
"To enjoy this world free of dragons."
"Free of your father, free of your people."

"But I don't want that!"
"I only want you!"
"I only want to be Cesar's wife!"
"I want to be known as the only woman in the life of my beloved husband!"
"I just want to live a quiet and dull life, in a small house, and be as insignificant as you!"
"If I am absolutely nothing"
"Please!" Her voice was barely a whisper, filled with love and pain.

But the cold quickly took hold of my body, my muscles felt more and more numb, my lips stopped responding, the sensations faded away, my pain vanished.

"I'm so sorry..."
"I promise you'll be the only one for me....you're the only one who discovered me when the world forgot me....that's the only thing that gives me peace."
"I love you Nanani.....forever....."

"No... Cesar, please... don't leave me..." Tears streamed freely down her face and the world around me seemed to fade away, leaving her alone with her pain and memories.

When Nanami returned to the Celestial Forge, she went to get the sword. She pulled it from the majestic altar, unsheathed the huge and heavy blade, looked around with a sad expression and closed her eyes. Each time she lifted more the holy sword, her body lost more and more of its original color. First, her crimson eyes turned to a pale blue, then her skin took on a white hue, followed by her hair, which was stripped of its majestic blackness, leaving behind a whiter shade. In the end, all that remained of her was a ghostly figure. But when the blade finally appeared, there was no hope, only screams of agony and pain, the cruel sound of the tortured, the exhausted, the desperate in mortal agony.

The next time I blinked, I was sitting on Jade's throne, the place that rightfully belonged to Nanami, now it was me. The people looked at me with illusions, dreams. They could see their new way of fighting dragons, their new leader. Nanami's heir and their hope. But it wasn't me, I could look like her, have the same voice as her, have her clothes, I could have her body, but it wasn't her. People were looking at a false idol, and I had to pretend to be that.

Before I knew it, I was in the last corridors leading to the sanctuary of the First. I had the great sword in my hand, I had Avalon, the end of the war was near. But there were no dragon bodies at my feet, only those of my allies. None of them were even complete, and the formerly blue corridors were now red. There was no time, and yet I stood there, unable to do anything. I was afraid, afraid of what might happen at any moment. Afraid that I would have to do it and fail the people who trusted me.

I hid behind a metal box, covering the passage of the hall. I could hear the screams of the dragons on the other side. Their claws scratching the box, trying to get it out of the way. And I tried with all my might to seal the hall with it. But when I did, all the light went out, just darkness.

There was nothing, there was no light, I couldn't even see the hand that once belonged to the girl I loved. There was only darkness and the sounds of dragons, lurking, walking, scratching the walls, looking for me. I panicked, I didn't want to be there, I couldn't stand it anymore, I hated the darkness, the dragons, the smell of blood that was everywhere. Please somebody get me out of here.

"Please help me!!"
"Please light!"

The next thing that appeared was the full moon. I was now on top of a mountain, I could see the sea in front of me, and I could see the moon high in the sky, lighting up the whole place as if it were daytime. And then I realized that there were no dragons or darkness, just a mountain and a vast space as far as the eye could see. I was no longer afraid, it was a quiet, relaxing place. A place where nothing bad could happen.

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...

I woke up suddenly, I felt like I could hardly breathe, my body was shaking. I wanted to cry. But when I opened my eyes, I saw Tamamo's face, she was also awake, when she saw me, she greeted me with a smile, as if her face said calmly that the bad had already passed. She hugged me tightly with her nine fox tails, as if to say that she was with me. That I was not alone. She was always with me.

Looking around the room, I could see that the room could understand that it was still night. But the moonlight was coming through the windows of the room, lighting the place almost as if it were daytime. It was a safe place, I was in a room in my mother's house, in a country that was not at war, with a goddess by my side. After some time in Tamamo's embrace, I felt calm again.

Leaving the horrors of the past behind, I tried to fall asleep, hoping never to have another nightmare. And well, now I had someone by my side to take care of me again.