Unwilling Eldritch Horror of Fortune

 

Just as I had predicted, we were immediately at the center of attention when the three of us arrived at the market. Although you would have to be practically blind to somehow miss us considering how much light was being reflected off of Vadeem and I. My big friend was practically a walking disco ball with the amount of gems sewn into his suit, while I was a walking mirror.

But the real star of the show was unmistakably Noel. The way she strode into the road left no one second-guessing who was in charge. She walked with a grace that spoke of class and sophistication, which made me question why she never chose to show any of us this side of her before. Where Vadeem and I were gaudy to the extreme, she was all grace and sex appeal (words I never thought I would have to say about Noel), it was the perfect contrast.

Once I was sure that enough eyes were on us, both from the well-to-do gang and the stragglers, I signaled my little hired help to initiate the next step of the plan. It’s surprising what people would do when they’re desperate and you offer them enough money. It seems that the warmth of friendships means nothing next to the cold, hard comfort of the coin.

One of the Aspirants that I had a chat with earlier saw my signal, along with the promise of more gold to come, and shoved one of his friends right into the path of Noel. His friend looked at the other man in confusion while some of his other buddies tried to help him up. However, this group quickly stopped what they were doing when Vadeem glared at them with unrestrained rage.

Good. Now the stage was set. If I wanted the Regressor’s guild to be the beacon of justice, then there must be a contrasting foil to his ideals. I didn’t have time to wait for one to appear naturally, so what else could I do but create my own conflict and sell the resolution? It’s a time-tested method that has proven to work.

I smiled underneath the helmet. Let the play begin in earnest now.

On cue, Noel exaggerated shock that someone would dare get in her way, and made a faint cry of alarm. I went straight to her side, almost trampling over the people in my way, and offered an arm to support her.

“How dare you try to rob my wife!” Vadeem screamed as he glared at the poor man on the ground, “It wasn’t good enough that you useless peasants were able to ride off our coattails to the main stage, but you choose to bite the hand that feeds you?”

The guy sprawling on the ground looked confused. Everyone close by could see that he was pushed to the ground, but unfortunately for him, the only people who saw what had happened were the other unfortunate, not-so-well-off Aspirants. Let’s call these people the B Group. They knew that everything Vadeem was saying was clearly slander, but that was the point.

The well-to-do Aspirants, or the A Group as I’ll call them, were sufficiently far away that they didn’t quite see what had transpired, but a small crowd of them were already coming to see what the commotion was about. And who would they believe in a situation like this? The party with the gorgeous lady and her entourage, or the beggars on the street?

“We-” the man on the ground started. But I wasn’t going to let him speak, not quite yet. I needed the proper amount of resentment to brew in these people.

“Don’t just lie there on the streets! Have some self-respect as a human being!” I approached him angrily and forced the man to his feet. While he was distracted, I secretly slipped a little present into his pockets.

“Now what is it you wanted to say?”

“I,” he stammered, “I was pushed, my friend-”

He turned around to point at where his friend was, but the man had already long fled. Now he just looked like an idiot trying to blame someone else for his error, and the A Group wasn’t buying it.

“What friend?” Vadeem asked angrily.

“He was-”

“We caught you red-handed!" I screamed, then politely gestured to the well-to-do Aspirants gathered, "And you think you could blame one of these nice gentlemen?”

Giggles and whispers of mockery were already filling the crowd, and I added some fuel to that fire, “Does anyone here honestly think that one of those lovely people would lower themselves to stealing? These Aspirants have class, unlike the scum here!”

I pointed to the B Group with undisguised disgust. Louder shouts of agreement started to fill the air, the A Group was enjoying the schadenfreude at seeing the scene before them. Good, let’s get them riled up. Make them lose themselves to the moment so that all thoughts of morality would be lost to the joy of seeing the suffering of others. I gave a silent signal to Noel.

“And we are not blind, peasant,” Noel said with a haughty attitude and pointed at the bulge in the man’s pocket, “You stole one of my husband’s jewels right there.”

The man looked surprised, then reached into his pocket to pull out a huge ruby. He stared at it in confusion, before realizing what must have happened. He gave me the dirtiest look, but I lifted my helmet just a smidge to give him a shit-eating grin.

“You fucking bastards!” he screamed, finally losing to his rage, “You think you can just frame me? Don’t you have anything better to do with your damn time?”

I scoffed while Vadeem took a few steps forward threateningly.

“For what reason would we have to frame you?” Noel continued, “Do you think we have nothing better to do than stir up trouble with the rabble?”

More mocking laughter filled the air.

“But we are merciful,” Noel said with a graceful smile, “Hand the jewel back, go on your filthy knees, and apologize, and we can pretend that this never happened.”

“Or don’t,” Vadeem added with a deadly smile. He flexed his muscles which told the other man exactly what would happen if he refused Noel’s suggestion.

The poor man gritted his teeth in frustration before one of his friends quickly whispered something in his ear. I would see his pride trying to surface, but it was quickly crushed when he saw the sneers of hatred from the onlookers. This man was smart enough to realize that pride would do no good against a mob of angry superhumans. Reluctantly, the man handed the gem back to Vadeem and got on his knees to apologize.

I laughed, which prompted the others to do the same, “Look at him, and the people around him! They have no dignity! Oh, how embarrassing to be seen in the same location as these miserable cretins. I saw we outlaw them from this glorious marketplace. Let them squabble and pollute somewhere else.”

More cheers of agreement filled the air, and the people around me started to chase out the people who didn’t belong out of the market. Now the seeds of resentment and class inequality were firmly planted, all I had to do was wait a little to see the results. For now, Winslow, Veda, and his wife Nora had to firmly establish themselves as important figures to the A Group.

“Come now,” Noel said with a charming smile, “Now that the filth has left the streets, I wish to celebrate this success with a meal. On me, of course.”

No one here refused the offer, and the three of us spent the next few hours entertaining the various Aspirants. I noticed a few people in the crowd who were a part of Noel’s list and saw that she was secretly eying them up as well. Guess the amount of people we had to impress will be a tad shorter the next time we come disguised.

After the meal, we all excused ourselves as politely as possible. Once we were out of the bog of people, we found a safe spot to change back to our normal clothes and finally took a breather.

“Ugh, Walter,” Noel pouted, her earlier elegance nowhere to be found, “I feel all icky pretending to be married to Vadeem. It makes my skin crawl.”

Vadeem just sighed but didn’t choose to retort back.

“Well,” I said, “Thank you both for playing along, I still have a little bit more work to do on my end before I’m done.”

Vadeem nodded, “Not a problem, was barely any work on my part!”

“And I like the attention!” Noel added with a smile, “It’s a nice change of pace from my usual work. Although speaking of my usual work…”

Right… guess some more people will be meeting with unfortunate accidents tonight.

“I got my assignments to complete as well,” Vadeem said, “Let’s all meet up for breakfast again tomorrow if I don’t see you.”

“You bet!”

I nodded, “Sure thing.”

We each went our separate ways for the night after that, each of us having distinctly different but equally important jobs to do. I made one more costume change before heading out to start the second part of my plan. Let’s inject some hope into the hearts of those poor, poor mistreated Aspirants.

Since I was the one responsible for kicking the people out of the markets, I also knew where the B Group congregated afterward. I had seen them gathered away from the main streets and into the shadier back alleys, and they should have had enough time to congregate together by now. These people still had some money to spend and had decided to drown their woes in cheap beer and ale, which made my job a lot easier. Drunk Aspirants were a lot more gullible than sober Aspirants, after all.

Well, it's time for my entrance.

I lowered my posture and slouched, my eyes were downcast and I looked as miserable as I could as I entered the bar. I just had to remember the disaster that was Q’s stupid doppelganger to achieve the correct level of misery and resentment to complete my look. I fit right in.

The bar patrons noticed my entrance and welcomed me with open arms. They saw someone else in the same shitty situation as them, and as they say, misery loves company. The interior of the place was already starting to look a little disheveled, which was impressive given how this place was only used for a handful of hours. Beer and men were sprawled on the ground in equal measure, while chairs and bar stools were strewn all over the place. The atmosphere of discontent was almost permeable.

“You too, bud?” One of the disgruntled Aspirants asked and gestured for me to grab a seat alongside a bunch of other men and women. The group of 4, two men and two women, looked like they had a few too many to drink already, and showed no signs of stopping. Their shirts were stained with spilled drink and food particles but were not otherwise dirty.

“Yup,” I muttered soullessly as I sat down beside the others, “I was just told to fuck off after surviving three weeks in that last bloody trial helping out my good-for-nothing teammates. All because I didn’t have a fucking combat class. And what do I get after repairing all of their items and keeping them alive?”

I laughed bitterly, “One hundred goddamn gold! Well, I’m bloody well using that here! Bartender, give me and my new friends a fresh round of beer. I don’t care what it is, just keep the tab flowing!”

“Cheers to that, friend!” One of the men said to me and he took another huge swig of his drink, “Here’s to those damned bastards who think they’re so high and mighty!”

I cheered to that as more beer flowed between my new friends, “So what happened with you four?”

They told me how all the unfair and biased treatments that befell them, how they tried their best to remain useful in their parties, or how an injury caused them to fall behind, but one fact remained the same: it was always someone else’s fault for their failures, never their own.

Of course, I nodded along to their grievances, some words of encouragement here, some well-timed curses towards their aggressors there, all expertly placed. Of course it wasn’t your fault that you couldn’t keep up with the rest of your team, it was your unlucky class that was at fault. And how could he choose someone else over you, even though you’re so much better than her? You would have certainly come out on top if only this had happened instead.

It’s never your fault. You were just unlucky.

By the end of the night, they were practically addicted to the praise and reassurance I was giving, undoubtedly due in no small part to all those Charisma passives I had. I wasn’t just William, another poor sob who couldn’t make it to the top of the food chain, but I was their friend now. They could trust what I was saying because I always had their best interests in mind.

I ordered another round of beers for my new best friends, and once they had their fill, I started to talk.

I gave them my best smile, “Hey, did you hear this rumor…?”

 

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