Unwilling Eldritch Horror of Fortune

I spent the rest of that night resting as much as I could after my conversation with the Regressor. Thankfully what he required wasn’t too far off from what I planned to do in the first place, and I only had to slightly modify my initial plans to fit his instructions. I awoke the next, well, night I guess, since morning doesn’t seem to exist anymore, and saw that Vadeem had already made breakfast. The aroma of freshly cooked eggs and sizzling meat guided me to the breakfast table.

“Morning, Walter!” Vadeem said with a smile, “Have some bacon and eggs, I even have a pot of water boiling for some instant coffee.”

“Morning to you too,” I answered, rubbing the last of the sleep from my eyes, “And how come you’re cooking? I thought your suitcase thing kept the caff food fresh.”

He shook his head in disappointment, “Some things can only be enjoyed when you do it yourself, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned from being a dad, it's the joy that some good old home-cooked food can bring. We’re surrounded by nothing but darkness, so a little joy can go a long way.”

Dark? I had completely forgotten that it was even dark out after getting that title. It’s gotten progressively easier to forget about the new things that were happening to me. I nodded in agreement and took the seat adjacent to Vadeem.

He took out a plastic plate from his travel bag and gave me a hefty serving of food. It looked really good, although I did have to question his portion sizes.

“Didn’t think you were the type to cook,” I said as I took a bite, then nodded in appreciation, “And a damn good one at that!”

“What,” he chuckled between mouthfuls, “Thought my only hobbies were extorting people and weight lifting?”

“Don’t forget quiet walks in spooky woods at night as well.”

“That too,” he smirked.

“Do you want my honest answer,” I answered with a joking grin, “or the PC version?”

With a loud laugh, spitting some of his half-chewed eggs out in the meantime, Vadeem replied, “I think that’s all the answer I need! And yes, believe it or not, I am still a normal man underneath these admittedly impeccable muscles.”

He then proceeded to flex his chest, “Get it? Impeccable? And my pecs?”

“Yeah,” I sighed, “You’re definitely a dad. Has anyone ever actually laughed at that joke?”

“My daughter did,” he said with confidence.

“And how old was she then?”

“Four,” he admitted reluctantly, “but she still counts! ‘Cause she was able to count rather well at the age of 4!”

I sighed again and allowed Vadeem to laugh at his own jokes. I finished my plate of food and made myself some of the instant coffee he had prepared. Sure I could have just used my fancy flask, but Vadeem was right, there really was no joy in doing it that way. We finished the rest of our food in comfortable silence.

“Alright,” I said, sipping the last of my drink, “We’re going to be busy from now on, Vadeem, so I hope you’re ready to go.”

“I thought as much,” he said, “Our leader contacted me yesterday and caught me up to speed. Said we should expect creepy things deeper in the forest, but all I have to do is make sure no one’s hurt and beat up anything that gets in our way. Your job on the other hand? Damn! You sure you can manage on your own? He’s basically asking you to find him an army.”

I grinned, “I can manage easily. This is the type of task I was made for. Just sit back and watch the show.”

“And smash the monsters?”

I laughed and nodded, “And smash any monsters that get in the way.”

He returned the smile, “Count me in, my friend!”

We left the hovel after the meal, my Luck Charges now as full as my stomach, and I went about trying to find Patar. I had expected that it would take me some time to search for one individual, even if the village wasn’t so large, but what I certainly didn’t expect was that every single villager was on their knees awaiting my arrival.

“The God, our Light Bringer, has arrived!” Patar shouted from atop a newly built altar, “We offer you our thanks!”

“Our thanks!” The rest of the congregation spoke as one, “Praise the Light Bringer!”

"May he bring eternal Wisdom and Light!"

Some of the crazier ones even threw themselves at my feet, but they were quickly subdued and brought away. I don't think I can ever fully get used to being a cult leader.

“Please take your rightful spot and enlighten us, oh holy Light Bringer!” Patar stepped down and gestured for me to take the wooden stand.

I climbed up the rickety platform and looked down at all those beneath me.

“All things will be beneath you soon, my Host,” Noe’s voice said, “It is as inevitable as the end of all things. I will ensure that it comes to be, even if I must rip the universe apart to do so.”

Um, thanks?

“All for you, my Host,” it replied, “And as always, you are most welcome, Walter.”

Did… did it just call me Walter and not Watt or Watt Thefuck? Why was I concerned more about this revelation than anything else?

Ignoring my ever growing concern about the rapidly changing state of Noe, I addressed the masses again. I had a role I needed to play, and I could afford no distractions.

“Gathered disciples!” I shouted, going over the script I devised one last time in my head, “Too long have you suffered from the encroaching darkness! Too long have you starved for food, for water, for the basic necessities of life itself! You have endured hardships that have taken the lives of many, some close to you, many others strangers, but know this! Know that you have endured.”

I looked around to make sure that the people were adequately enthralled by my speech, my Idol Voice doing more work than ever, “You have been tested, and you have been judged worthy, for you have survived! You are no longer Blind, for you have embraced the Truth!”

I used my halo then, dispelling all the darkness once more.

“But many of your brethren are still ignorant! They still dwell in the murky darkness, devoid of hope and aspirations! I do not bring Light to but a few. I bring Light to all!”

The crowd looked at me in rapturous awe before breaking into cheers. I allowed the noise to rise to a heated crescendo before waving them to quiet down again.

“But to do this glorious deed, we must unite with the other outposts around us! We must spread our Truth, of our Light!" I stopped again for emphasis, "This is a holy task, but also one of danger, for in the dark depths of the forest lie those that would deny Dawn’s Grace. But you, my chosen ones, would not shy away from this cause! Are you willing to take up this holy mission?”

Without even the slightest hesitation, the mass of people all shouted various words of agreement. Not a single soul was willing to back down. These people had already tasted death once, and now death had no sway over them. In other words, these were the perfect peons to use, especially if I could convince them that their demise would mean a better future for everyone else.

“Archbishop!” I said, “Gather your best trackers, we head out to the nearest settlement in an hour!”

Patar bowed low and went about his newly assigned task with unmatched devotion.

“And for the rest of you,” I continued, “prepare for the journey ahead! Bring what you need, leave what you do not. None shall want for food, water or light in my presence, but I have heard tales that the forests are fraught with danger, so gather a means to defend yourselves and your brethren!”

The congregation agreed, some looking like they are seconds from bolting from their spot. I gave them the signal that they may leave, and every single villager went about the village, gathering everything they thought they would need.

You would think that gathering an army would be difficult, but most of the difficulties that come with such a task didn’t exist in our case. I didn’t need to train soldiers, because every single person here had to fight just to survive. Logistics, the absolute bane of any army, was a nonissue with my flask and Vadeem’s endless supply of looted food. Heck, I didn’t even have to worry about morale because these people thought that they were following a literal god.

When the last of the stragglers had disappeared from the square, Patar came back with two youths in tow. The two strangers, both girls of an indeterminable age due to the still healing scar tissue covering their flesh, but they were certainly very young. They wore tight-fitting black rags used to blend into their surroundings, and each carried a neatly crafted bow and quiver. They also bowed as they approached me. I gave Patar and the other two a nod of acknowledgement.

“These twins are the most experienced trackers we have left, Lord,” he said as he bowed in apology for some perceived fault, “Ana and Eva have both survived multiple journeys into the depths of the Neverglow woods to trade with the other settlements and can guide your holy crusade.”

“Excellent!” I said, “You two shall be my scouts for the trek ahead, and for your service, Vadoom shall personally ensure your safety!”

The two girls bowed low as one but didn’t say anything else.

“I apologize for their silence, Light Bringer,” Patar said for them, “But before Your glorious return, all of our scouts have had their vocal cords severed in order to minimize noise, for even a small scream of alarm could alert the Shadow Stalkers when we leave the safety of the Barren Lands.”

That seemed a little… extreme, but what did I know about how these people lived their lives before I came. I guess if I was given the option of being mute versus being dead, I'd take the slight handicap any day of the week. Trying to survive in these so-called Barren Lands must have been a challenge as nothing else was alive in this place.

 

Walter’s Fine: Vadeem, can you protect those two? They’re twins, Ana and Eva, although I’m not quite sure if the translation for their name’s perfect. They’re mute, so maybe you can try communicating with them through body language or something.

Vadeem the Dream: Hm, they're just children... This world may have gone to hell, but I will make sure that no further harm comes to them. They remind me a little of my own daughter.

Walter’s Fine: And Jae-Hyun seems to be right, there is danger deeper in the woods. Some things called a Shadow Stalker. I’ll see if I can get any more information before we set out, so we know what to look out for.

Vadeem the Dream: Will do. I’ll go meet them now.

 

Vadeem quietly went to the side of the twins and started to make strange hand signs and gestures at them. I think they were as confused as I was about his intended meaning, but they accepted his company in any case. Maybe he’ll figure out how to communicate with them on the journey, he seemed pretty used to dealing with children despite his dubious career and normal attitude.

“One last question before we venture out, Patar,” I said, “What kinds of foes can we expect on the journey?”

“We…” he began, hesitation clear in his voice, “We are not entirely sure, oh Light Bringer. There are only Shadow Stalkers near the border, but our warriors could deal with them even before your Grace had healed the blight. As for what to expect further in? I must confess that I do not know. Only the desperate ever try to venture further, and all we know is that none have ever returned. I shall repent for my shallow knowledge!”

I nodded. The good news was that we could expect little trouble gathering more brainwashed - I mean devoted supporters near the border regions, but we would also be going in blind past a certain point.

“Are you sure that there are even survivors in the deeper regions?”

“Almost certainly, oh Holy One,” Patar answered, “We would occasionally find one or two stragglers who make it out of the Deep Woods, and they have told tales of massive fortresses that still defy the darkness.”

“Yet you somehow know nothing about the dangers in there even with survivors?” I questioned, eyeing the man suspiciously.

He bowed low in apology again, “I am sorry, Light Bringer, but none of them would utter even a single word of their encounters. We had tried everything to make them talk, but it is like they were cursed to never speak of their experiences.”

“It matters not,” I said with false confidence, “No danger can endure my Light. But first, we shall unite the border region.”

I looked outwards, determined to see this course of action through, “Gather the flock, Patar, we shall begin our Holy march.”

I had some new tools that I could try out, and it was finally time to see if all my hard work and planning had been worth it thus far. I almost wanted to meet some foes.

 

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