Chapter 63: Riddle Me Rigged
Bai Zhi's cutting remark plunged the entire Riddle Room fell into an unprecedented silence.
"Dear me, do you thumb your nose at my riddles, sir?"
The ragdoll dropped its pretense of courtesy and flew back to its throne.
"This is but the first riddle!" The plastic eye that was missing a half seemed to radiate cold malice. "For your own sake, don't underestimate the brilliance of my brain-teasers, or you'll be joining the two hundred souls who did, sooner than you can say 'Chuck'!"
"Am I wrong? I was expecting way trickier questions, but these are just simple lateral thinking exercises... If anything, I overestimated you."
Bai Zhi frowned and choked down the chocolate in his mouth, pulling the corners of his mouth down in contempt as he did.
"Tsk tsk tsk, a ragdoll is no more than a ragdoll, after all. When what you have for brains is cotton wool, to make something of it is the errand of a fool..."
"My dear guest! Rest assured, indeed, that when I make the doll of you, I'll bless you with an extra spike or two. In the cabinet you'll go, under lock and key, to drown in agony for all eternity!"
Bai Zhi seemed to have struck a sore spot, as the ragdoll's voice became shrill and piercing.
"Once the game begins, it can't end until one of us wins, so you have nowhere
to run!"Bai Zhi snickered, then said languidly, "Run? Why would I? The answer to your riddle earlier is simple. The corpse in the desert did drown to death, but when it drowned, the area was a lake, or perhaps an ocean. But the ravages of time took its toll and the lake eventually turned into a desert. Isn't that right?"
"Correct!" The doll wore an enigmatic expression as it flapped its stubby arms in front of it, by way of clapping. Now you, dear guest. Remember, a tie is a win for me. And, since you were so hellbent on angering me, I'll let you know something that's sure to send you spiraling into despair!"
"Oh? Soz, I've never felt 'despair' in my life. If you actually succeed at making me feel it, I should be so grateful to your whole family—ah, my bad. You probably don't have any family, right?" Bai Zhi yawned. "It's only to be expected, since you're so ugly..."
"Don't you want to know what it is? The reason why so many people were added to my collection? I'll have you know, the people who made it here before you were no slouches~" said the ragdoll in a singsong, sinister voice. "More than a few managed to solve my riddles three—quite a number, in fact—but I turned them all into my collectibles. Do you know why?"
Bai Zhi raised a curious eyebrow. "Oh? Why?"
"Because, from the moment you agreed to the game and sat on that chair, I've been able to read your mind~ I know every piece of knowledge that you know!" The ragdoll gleefully revealed its secret as its eyes glinted with anticipation for the expression of hopelessness it wanted to see on Bai Zhi's face.
"Do you know what this means? The moment you come up with a riddle, I already know the answer to it! Even if you come up with a riddle that even you don't know the answer to, failing to answer your own riddle… means I. Win. You get it now? This game is one that I cannot lose!"
Without so much as a twitch in his face, Bai Zhi listened to the ragdoll with his legs crossed, looking almost bored. "Uh-huh, is that all?"
"You—"
"Oh, sorry, sorry! Was I supposed to make a surprised O-face, then bite my nails in terror, and finally make a face like I've lost all hope? Whoops. My apologies for letting you down, I'm sorry if I accidentally hurt your widdle doll heart. That was wrong of me."
The ragdoll said nothing, but glared fixedly at Bai Zhi.
"Well, to be honest, I guessed as much. After all, if you didn't have this ability, the odds of losing to a guest could be anywhere between 50 to 80 percent. Instead, you use the blade from the last dynasty to end this one*, the sheer audacity!"
Bai Zhi turned one hand palm-up with a mocking flourish.
"Don't give me that look, it's only too easy to figure out, since you never set any constraints on the game—well, actually, your questions may be limited—but guests can ask any questions they like without restrictions, correct?
The ragdoll was silent for a moment, then said sullenly, "...How did you know that?"
"Woah, no way! Surely you don't need me to explain something so straightforward and obvious? Heyheyhey, your intelligence can't be that low!"
As he thought of all the pain and torture being inflicted on those who had once been humans, Bai Zhi had no qualms about mercilessly taunting the ragdoll with everything he had.
"Oof, since you're so dumb, I guess I have to explain it to you step by step. You set no restrictions on the questions your guests could ask, which means that all they have to do is ask about a fact that only they knew, such as 'When was the exact time I first assembled an AK-47?' If they asked a question like that, how are you supposed to know the answer?"
The ragdoll remained silent, but its aura of cold malice intensified.
"Obviously, if I could figure out such a simple and obvious way to clear the challenge…" Bai Zhi tapped his temple with one finger. "…so could tons of other people. All they'd need to do is get one of your three riddles right and they win. Alas, if it were so easy to beat you, how did you amass so many 'collectibles'?"
Bai Zhi's voice took on a steely edge. "So, by following these clues, it wasn't hard to deduce that you had the ability to read minds. It makes total sense that a tie is a win in your favor, with an ability like that up your sleeve."
"What about it, then? Since you worked out all of that, you should be able to predict the inevitable tragedy of your fate!" the ragdoll screeched. After a pause, the ragdoll spoke again, this time in the cheerful voice from before.
"Even if you answer, correctly, my riddles three, given that I know the answer to yours... Tell me, with the game so rigged, how are you going to avoid defeat?"
* Reference to a comedic movie starring Stephen Chow, presumably a comment on the way the ragdoll uses their opponents' knowledge against them. A less literal translation might be "choking me with my own tie".