Ugly Bastard System

"Sayuri?" Misaki waved her fingers in front of Sayuri's face, who seemed a little distracted.

"Hm? Oh, no, nothing. Just thinking about some stuff."

Misaki narrowed her eyes. "I hope it is about leaving that asshole."

"I-I cannot decide something like this just like that! What if you're wrong?"

"I am not wrong, and you're the one in denial. Anyone with a good brain inside their head will be able to see that he's only after your money."

Sayuri pursed her lips and looked downwards.

"Some things are just obvious. I mean, look at that couple on that table," Sayuri blankly watched Misaki pointing at Gojima and his colleage, "the woman looks like a supermodel with exotic beauty, while the man is quite ugly compared to her. Not to mention that beer belly. But they are still having lunch while laughing and being all merry. I bet he is a producer or some shit and the lady is sticking to him for a role or something."

Sayuri wanted to point out that she was wrong, but she couldn't. She just needed to tell her that the man was her neighbor and the woman was just his colleague. But if she told her that, then the question would arise that why she ignored him.

'Aah! Why am I thinking too much about it?! I'll just say that I wanted to have some personal chat with my friend and then apologize later! Or maybe say that I did not wish to disturb... their... date...'

She felt a slight pang in her heart, which she immediately ignored. So what if her neighbor and his colleague went on a date?! She is supposed to just congratulate them, that is all! She was a married woma—

"You should really order a little more, you know?" The ponytailed lady continued, "our visit to the hospital might take quite long, after all."

"I am fine, Sawashiro sensei," Gojima continued, "You are the one who should order more, as you are the one who is more in need of nutrients."

...Wait, hospital?

"Ahahahaha..." the lady had a silly smile, "I guess you are right. Well... hmm... I guess I'll order this one... or maybe not. This one has papaya after all—"

Klang!

Both Gojima and the lady, as well as the other customers snapped their heads toward the source of the noise, which was a spoon that Sayuri just let go off.

"Ah, sorry—" Sayuri immediately bent down to get the spoon.

Her mind was currently in overdrive though.

'Wait, she cannot eat papaya?! What does it mean? D-Don't tell me she is—'

Sawashiro squinted her eyes and then hit her palm with her other fist, showing a gesture that she recognized Sayuri.

"Oh! Miss neighbor! I did not expect to see you here! Gojima sensei, did you notice her?"

"...Uh, no, not at all," welp, there went all acting like strangers, thought Gojima. "...Hanazono san. I did not expect to meet you here. What a coincidence, isn't it?"

Sayuri inwardly cursed, but the cat was out of the bag. There was no reason for things to go this way. Why did she ignore him to begin with? Damn, it was all because of Misaki! She was the one who made her think of leaving Satoshi and think of a different life and she thought that she would live a very happy life if it was Ken chan inste—

"...Y-Yeah, what are the odds, right? Haha..." She replied with an embarrased smile.

Misaki looked back and forth and then remembered her friend talking about a neighbor of her.

"Oh! So you're that neighbor Sayuri often talked about! Nice to meet you. I am Araragi Misaki, Sayuri's friend. Thank you for taking care of her. Not to mention you even saved her life once." She bowed.

"Ah... I'm Gojima Kenzaburou. I've been taken care of by her as well. And I also owe her my life." Gojima also bowed.

"Oh, really? I never heard Sayuri saying anything about that!" She looked at her friend who flinched hearing that, making her even more intrigued.

"T-Thats..." Gojima took a glance at Sayuri who furiously shook her head. It seemed like it was not something she wanted her friend to know about.

"...While saving her I got quite injured, and she..." Gojima saw Sayuri having a look of shock and getting betrayed on her face, "ran to get some help even when she was in just as much bad shape as I."

Okay, now she relaxed.

"Wow, what the hell Sayuri! You never told me about that part! I thought we were best friends! I'm hurt." She did not look hurt at all though.

"A-Ahaha... sorry, I forgot."

Misaki sighed. "Ah well, but still, jumping from that high with someone else, you're quite something, you know? If I were in her place, I'd have fallen head over heels for you though," she then turned towards Sawashiro, "you must be proud of your boyfriend, right? Ah, I'm Araragi Misaki, by the way."

"Uh... Araragi san, she's—" Gojima was about to correct her but before he could say anything, Sawashiro hugged his arm.

"Of course! I, Sawashiro Kurona, am really proud of my Darling. Right, Darling?"

"—not my girlfriend." Gojima was not having any of that.

"D-Darling! How could you do this to me? After having your way with me, you are now throwing me away after meeting a new pretty woman?" He coldly stared at Sawashiro, who was totally having fun.

It did not take long for Misaki to realize what was happening. She also decided to play along.

"Gojima san, I'm really disappointed. I was expecting more from you."

"Hmm hmm! Darling! Be a real man and take responsibility!"

Gojima looked around. Everyone present was giving them funny looks. This was going a bit too long for his comfort. He had to end it.

Sayuri did not hear anything after Sawashiro hugged him. So it was true. Why did he not tell her though? And now... they were going to the hospital. When did things go this far? Or was it always like that and she never noticed.

Good for him. Maybe he would get over that Aoi person. She could not help him with that anyway.

She'll be left alone again—

"C-Congratulations! Gojima san, Sawashiro san! I am really happy for both of you!" Sayuri donned a happy smile and clapped.

"Uh, thanks?" Sawashiro said with a confused look. Gojima and Misaki were confused as well. Did she actually believe all that?

"Geez, you two should have told me that day! My Mama knows a lot about pregnancy you know! I think she will be really happy to help you two!"

"Wait what?" Gojima was dumbfounded, so was Misaki.

"P-Pregnancy?" Sawashiro showed surprise on her face.

"Yep! I am going to have another cute child in my neighborhood! Isn't that great, hahaha! Gojima san! You should totally take responsibility and get married! You might have forgotten to inform us, but don't forget to invite us for the marriage as well!"

Sawashiro looked more guilty as Sayuri kept blabbering, and Gojima felt the need to correct all the misunderstanding. Misaki...

She just watched. Sayuri was not acting normal. She was acting just like—

"Uhh... Hanazono san."

"And you got to—what?"

Sawashiro replied with an apologetic tone, "I am not pregnant."

"...Eh?" Sayuri's face became blank. "B-But you said that you could not eat papaya and you two were going to the hospital..."

"I am alargic to papaya," Sawashiro explained, "and we are going to visit an injured student."

Everyone was silent for a few seconds.

"Pfft!" Misaki was the first to break the silence, then she was followed by Sawashiro. Gojima just looked stern, it helped some of the obseevers deter. It did nothing to the two ladies laughing like maniac though.

Sayuri's face was tomato red. She wished she could find a hole to hide inside.

 

---

 

"Wait, so it was all a lie?!" Sayuri exclaimed.

"Yes. I'm sorry, Hanazono san. I just wanted to do some harmless leg pulling. I thought you would catch it right away." Sawashiro apologized.

"I did," Misaki raised her hand, "although... I did not expect Sayuri to have her own... assumptions... bwahahahaha—"

And they both started laughing again, making Sayuri feel even more embarrassed. But somewhere deep inside, she felt relieved. No, she didn't! There was nothing to feel relieved about!

Misaki was laughing, but she was also paying attention towards her friend from the corner of her eyes.

'Well well well! What do we have here? This is getting interesting~'

She wondered if she should do something about it.

Gojima just sighed seeing Sawashiro laugh like crazy. "Sawashiro san, you really should avoid doing such pranks, you know? What if one of your boyfriend's acquaintances were present in the restaurant and misunderstood everything?"

"Hm? Boyfriend? I don't have one though."

"...But you said—"

"Oh that? I blurted that out because you suddenly asked me to go somewhere with you. I thought you were asking me out. I get that a lot, you see."

Misaki saw Sayuri get tense again.

'So she does not have a boyfriend? Then why did she bring him here—I bet she is thinking something along that line.'

Seriously, this friend of hers can be a real pain in the ass sometimes...