Ugly Bastard System

"Wow! Shayuri shan! Your apple piesh are shimply the besht!" Ruri exclaimed while devouring the pie in front of her.

"Hm Hm!" Miki did not even talk, she just blissfully nodded with her eyes closed while munching her pie.

"Thank you, you two." Sayuri looked at the kids with a smile on her face. Her face had a hint of melancholy for a moment, but it soon vanished.

She wanted to make apple pies for her husband, who rarely came home nowadays. He said that he was really busy with his new business that he was able to start with her money. She tried to be understanding, but... she did miss him.

Today was supposed to be one of his rare returns. But as she cut the apples to make the pies, a message came from him saying that he wouldn't make it this time. It would probably take him two more weeks as well.

Well... the kids were looking forward to the apple pies, so she made them anyways. At least they were happy. And he seemed happy too...

She turned at the only other adult besides her in the room, who had already eaten two large pies.

"Do they suit your taste, Gojima san?"

"Yes. They are delicious."

"Hey Ogre! You gotta say more than that after you have already downed two pies! No wonder you are still single!"

"R-Ruri chan!"

"Oh? And how exactly should I have complemented her, oh great 12 year old relationship expert?"

Ruri's face flushed after hearing Gojima mock her like that. Then she looked at him with a challenging demeanor.

"Just watch. Sayuri san?"

"Hm?"

Ruri walked up to her, looked her in the eyes and then... knelt?

"Sayuri san. Your pies are delicious. Had you not been already married, I would have put a ring on your fingers already." Then she took one of Sayuri's hands and kissed it.

"Oh my!"

"Wow... just like a prince!" Miki exlaimed while clapping. Ruri smugly looked at Gojima, whose lips were twitching. Then he simply sighed and ignored what was written on Ubs' screen.

Yeah Ken, go ahead and tell the lady, "Your both pies are delicious. Can I eat them?" Hahahahahah... 

"You know what, kid, its cute when a kid like you does something like that. But if I had been in your shoes, she would have probably requested for a restraining order."

Ruri simply tilted her head, with a 'What's that? Is that tasty?' look on her face. Miki also followed suit.

Sayuri just flailed her hand.

"Eh? No no, Gojima san! I wouldn't have gone that far!"

"It's alright, Hanazono san. It's the most natural thing to do, after all."

"M-maybe, but—"

"What's restaining order?" Miki asked.

"Its restraining, Miki chan," He replied, "its when you ask the court to order someone who is bothering you to stay away from you. If they don't then you can have them go to jail."

"Hm hm." Both Ruri and Miki nodded in understanding. Ruri scanned him from head to toe with her eyes.

"Well, yeah. If its you, then any girl would have probably asked for a re-re-re—that thing! I bet you are never allowed in park as well?"

"Well... I've never felt like going to one in ages?"

"Ruri chan! That is rude to Gojima san," Sayuri reprimanded her with an expression that looked rather cute than menacing. Then she looked at him apologetically.

"Ah, Gojima san! You don't have to feel bad about it! Trust me! If it were you, I would never have asked for a restraining order even if you—" she stopped.

"Y-yes?"

"E-even if you... uh..." her eyes darted around. Then, luckily for her, there was a ding sound in the oven.

"Ah! Another one just became ready! I'll just bring it over!" She hurried towards the oven.

Nobody other than Ubs noticed her blushed ears. It decided to remain silent.

There were times when you teased Ken, and there were times when silence was important.

 

---

 

'What the hell am I doing!'

Sayuri cursed herself inwardly, as she took the freshly baked pie out of the oven.

I would never have asked for a restraining order even if you—

—got down on your knees, asked for my hand, put a ring on it, and...
kissed it.

She violently shook her head to get rid of these thoughts. It wasn't working well.

'Damn... it must be because of Mama! Yes! It's because she keeps saying weird stuff over the phone. Do you want your daughter's marriage to fail that much?!!'

She slapped both of her cheeks with her hands and took a deep breath. There was no point in acting like a flustered teenager. She was an adult now. She returned to the living room and—

She was Gojima sitting alone. The kids were gone.

"Well... they said that they felt a little bored and went to fetch some board game." Gojima said while scratching his cheek.

"O-oh." Sayuri said nothing and just sat opposit to him.

"W-Well... I wish I had the same level of energy as them. Sometimes I feel really old when I see them."

"If a 28 year old like you says stuff like that, what should the 32 year old me feel?" Gojima said with a wry smile on his face.

"Says the man who jumped off the 4th floor with another person on his ba—wait. Did I ever tell you my original age?" Sayuri tilted her head.

"Y-yes? D-don't you remember?" Gojima felt like sweating a little.

"I always tell others that I'm 25 though...?!! Wait, Gojima san! Please forget what I said!!!" She started flailing her hands with a flabbergasted look on her face. Cute.

"O-okay, I won't tell anyone."

"Muhhh... I also need to find out one of secrets to make it even now!"

"...Please don't."

"Huhuhu... you better watch your back, Gojima san! I will definitely find your secret!!!"

"What secret are you talking about exactly?" He raised one eyebrow.

"What secret?...Uhh... like—like—yeah! Like how many times you got rejected after your confessions!"

"...assuming I've actually confessed to someone?"

"W-well... you have gone out with someone before, right?"

"..."

Sayuri gulped. She knew it might not be a bright thing to do right now, but...

She felt like she really wanted to know about this person, what was his past like, what had happened to him to make him sometimes seem like he had lost everything.

She wanted to know, even though she did not know why.

"You said her name once... A-Aoi, right?"

Sayuri saw Gojima freeze for a moment. Then he looked downwards and smiled.

That smile looked so forelorn.

"I only confessed once."

"What?"

"I only confessed once, and she accepted it. I was never rejected."

"O-oh. L-lucky you?"

"Yes, I was really lucky to have her in my life."

"...Where is she now?"

"...somewhere far."

'Far? Don't tell me...'

"W-well? Things didn't work out and we broke up! Then she went abroad? Haha... well, my luck ran out I guess?"

She noticed how he didn't look her in the eyes when he said that. She pursed her lips together and went along it.

"...Sometimes things just don't go the way we really want to I guess? But that is life, right? Oh wow, look at me, talking like an old sage. The fact that you know my age is not helping me at all. It was Mama who told you about it, didn't she?"

"Y-yes."

"I knew it! I am definitely going to scold her when I call her! A-anyways, like I was saying, you of all people have no right to talk about old age! I heard that you leave afterimages when you run!!!"

"...That is physically impossible for a human."

"Should jumping from the 4th floor with me on your back be possible then?"

"...Somehow yes?"

Gojima smiled at her pouting face. Then she looked at him with a smile.

"I never got to properly thank you for saving my life, did I?"

Then she bowed a little.

"Thank you, Gojima san. If it wasn't for you, I would have died back then. I will always be grateful to you for what you have done for me, and I will definitely return the favor some day."

"Eh, no—you don't have to. You also saved me back then, remember? I would have died back there if you had not administered CPR on... me..."

"O-oh..."
"Y-yes..."
"..."
"..."

'Gosh! This is sooo awkward! He totally remembers it!!!'
'...Maybe I shouldn't have brought up that? But its just CPR, right? Its just CPR!'
'Yeah! Its just CPR! Get your head together and behave like an adult, Sayuri!!!'

"...The pies were delicious."
"...Thank you."
"..."
"..."

Fortunately, the awkward moment did not last for long, as the kids entered the room again.

"Sayuri san, Ogre! Let's play Life's Game... huh?"

The kids entered and saw two adults sitting awkwardly saying nothing to each other. They both tilted their heads.

Adults were weird sometimes.