Trouble With Horns

We hurried through the forest, trying to make good time, but unfortunately my little companion was less than capable when it came to moving at speed. Getting frustrated during a particularly hard stretch of old forest, I decided to just scoop her up into my arms and run with her.

She squealed when I picked her up and her arms were almost instantly wrapped around my neck, while her eyes stared at me with terrified awe. Damn girl, careful on the ears, that was a piercing squeal! Crashing blindly through the underbrush turned out to be not such a hot idea when we were suddenly weightless as the forest parted suddenly to reveal a small cliff. Spreading my wings to allowed us to glide safely down to the forest floor below, rather than splattering against it. I wish I’d decided to practice flying though, it would have made this a whole lot easier to just soar over the trees.

I carried Millie for as long as I could, but my arms and back began to feel the strain, and I had to put her down or risk dropping her. She was light, but anything became heavy if you held it up for long enough. Unfortunately with her back on the ground we were once again making slow progress, and I felt a sinking feeling in my gut as I realised we wouldn’t be making it to the gates in time.

The sun was coming at us sideways now, thin rays of warm orange light trying to pierce the suddenly eerie canopy. The normal sounds of the forest were quieting, as though all the animals were hunkering down for the night. Typically in a forest at this time, the birds would be losing their stupid little minds in the branches of every tree. Not many people have heard it, forests are hard to come by for most people these days, but when the sun is setting, the birds just do not shut up.

I finally called a halt to our flight when I saw the first tendrils of mist curling across the ground like some dark creature feeling it’s way across the ground.

“We need to find somewhere to hide,” I told Millie, looking around for any cover at all we could use for the night.

“W-why?” she asked fearfully, her head swivelling this way and that at every little creak and crack of the forest.

“We’re not going to make it back before they close the gates, so we’re just going to have to try and survive the night,” I replied absently. Most of my attention was focused on trying to find a place to spend the night.

“Um… okay I think I can find a place for us to hide,” she said after a moment.

I turned to her in surprise, “You can?”

She nodded up at me and pointed deeper into the forest, “I saw a Fallihal Tree further back, they are actually a type of vine that has completely consumed their old host tree. They are usually hollow, and sometimes those things you killed earlier will turn them into houses.”

“Won’t we have to fight them to get the house then?” I asked, already getting ready to punch more things.

“I don’t think so, the Tephim are migratory. They move randomly through the forest in large tribes, stopping for shelter in those trees when night comes. Most of the trees have been converted into some form of shelter by now,” she said confidently, already moving back towards the tree she’d seen.

Damn, the girl had smarts I’ll give her that. It was pretty badass, but in a far different way to what I aspired to be.

“Alright, lead the way,” I said with relief, following her back into the forest.

We stumbled our way through the twilight, tripping on roots and shrubs and generally making a lot of noise, and I hoped we wouldn’t end up as food for some tentacled horror. That was a really disgusting thought. Ew.

“There it is!” she cried in triumph, rushing towards a large tree that looked maybe a little gnarled compared to the others, but otherwise normal.

I followed her, and was surprised when she bent down and wriggled between a gap in the large roots of the tree. Bending down and slipping in behind her, I found myself in a dark space inside the tree that was maybe five feet across. The floor of the tree had been flattened, the hollow of the tree had been blocked off at the top and although there was a faint odor, it felt pretty homey.

“Wow this is actually kinda nice,” I said into the dark.

“Isn’t it? I’ve never been brave enough to stay the night in one though, but now that you’re here…” she said, trailing off.

I stared into the dark for a moment where I thought she was, and then there was a tiny spark of light and suddenly we could see! Millie held a small orb of glowing amber light in her hand, looking triumphant.

“I made a light spell!” she giggled happily.

“You did,” I laughed, enjoying the warm glow even if it wasn’t actually putting out any heat. 

Speaking of heat… it was getting damn cold. "Hold on a moment," I said, rushing back outside. I tore through the darkening mist for a few moments, grabbing and tearing off as many lush branches as I could. We needed the foliage between us and the ground so that the chill of the forest floor wouldn’t seep into us while we slept.

It was almost too difficult to see through the mist by the time I ducked back through with a massive armload of leaves. I dumped them on the floor and leaned back against the inside of the tree with a sigh of relief. There was something about the atmosphere out there. It was tense and deadly. I didn’t like it at all.

“May as well get comfortable,” I said softly, sitting down with my back to the wall of the tree.

“Right,” Millie said, “Yeah.”

She followed suit, sitting down next to me and trying her best to give me room. The tree was small, and we found our shoulders bumping. We sat there for what felt like a long time before she spoke again, “I’m going to turn off my stream now. Thanks for watching everyone! I’ll make a video and upload it if anything happens during the night. Luv you all! Sweet dreams!”

Once her stream was off, Millie sighed and relaxed somewhat, looking over at me with tired eyes. She seemed like the wanted to say something, but she thought better of it and turned away.

“What’s up?” I asked gently.

She looked down at her hands with a sad expression, “It’s nothing. I was about to start unloading personal shit on you but… that’s kinda mean.”

I shook my head and reached out to take one of her hands, “You’re fine. Vent away. I have a good ear.”

“Are you sure…? I just… I don’t think you’ll be interested is all,” she said bashfully.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

She avoided my gaze sheepishly and dropped my hand, looking around and biting her lip like she was about to tell me she’d seen me taking a dumb or something.

“I mean, you’re like, a lesbian right?” she blurted.

I blinked at her for several seconds, the word Lesbian… it shocked my mind into stillness. Was I a lesbian? No, I mean I was a guy in real life so that made me straight. That word though... stuck in my brain like a burr on a dog.

“I’m sorry if I’m wrong! I didn’t mean to assume, it’s just… anyway oh my god I’m so stupid,” she said quickly, thinking I was upset with her.

“No you’re fine. I… I like girls. Just girls,” I said quietly.

“Well um… anyway, I’m sorry I just… I’m straight and I have straight problems and like my gay friends have talked about not understanding straight people sometimes so I was like oh she probably doesn’t want to hear…” she said, tripping over her own words.

“Straight problems huh?” I asked, feeling a little confused now, “You can talk about straight problems if you want.”

She took a deep breath and spoke, “Okay thank you… well um, I um, I broke up with my boyfriend a few days ago… I still love him so much but I just couldn’t do it. I mean how could I keep going after what he did?”

I felt myself grow still as a scary thought entered my mind. Still loved her ex boyfriend… broke up with him a few days ago… surely not?

“Uhm, What-” I started to say, but my voice hitched strangely. I had to clear it and try again, “What did he do?”

Millie was silent for a few moments and I heard her breathing quicken like she was going to cry, “He... uh. He cheated on me. I confronted him and… he told me that I wasn’t sexual enough for him. Told me that I wasn’t fulfilling his needs or whatever, so he found them elsewhere.”

I felt my whole body relax as I realised that Millie was not Kristina. I had been more than a little scared there. I mean, I know the chances of meeting someone from your area are reasonably slim, but I was from one of the largest cities in the world, so it wasn’t off the table either.

“I’m sorry to hear that Millie. I feel you on that one,” I said with as much compassion as I could muster.

It sounded like the guy had a different libido than Millie, which was fairly normal for a relationship with a straight relationship as far as I knew. Instead of discussing it with her though, he’d gone off behind her back and fucked some other chick. Not cool. I’d been the unwitting third participant in a situation like that before, and it was far from pretty.

“Thanks. I don’t know why I’m even telling you this I’m sorry, we only just met…” she said apologetically.

“Nah you’re good. You can talk to me all you want. Plus there’s something about being trapped in a hole in the dark that makes you want to talk,” I said reassuringly.

“Thanks,” she said with a sigh, letting her little light go out.

Another long silence fell, and so we sat side by side and listened to the terrifying sounds from outside. An hour after she’d told me about her ex, a strange sound started to draw near. It started off just at the edge of hearing, like it was a distant noise in a busy city, but it slowly grew louder. As it became legible to my ears, I thought it sounded like wet breathing. It was as though a ninety year old man with a lung infection was getting closer and closer.

Following that sound was a quieter sound that reminded me of a child slurping through a straw. Both sounds drew nearer and nearer, until they were just outside our little hideout. I felt my heart begin to race and I tried to look into the inky darkness of the night, but it was almost impossible to see anything other than vague outlines now that Millie had put her light out. It almost sounded like it might leave, but then Millie let out the tiniest little whimper.

I quickly reached around her with an arm and pulled her into my lap, holding her close to keep her safe as the strange sounds paused outside our tree. Poor Millie was shaking like a leaf, and I tried to calm her by gently stroking her back. She clung to me while we waited for it to leave, and as time wore on and the noise didn’t leave, I began to cling back. I was normally okay with horror, but living it was an entirely different matter.

At some point we must have fallen asleep despite the terrifying noises outside, because one moment I was struggling to hold back my fear, and the next there was sun filtering in through the hole in the tree. Millie had fallen asleep where she had lain in my lap, and seemed at least to be sleeping soundly, even if I felt like I’d been knocked unconscious with a rock.

“Hey Millie,” I murmured, touching her shoulder.

She groaned, but didn’t wake immediately, and I had to nudge her again to get her to stir. She had been sleeping face down in my lap using my thighs as pillows, and now she rolled over to blink bleary eyed up at me. She was crazy adorable like this, in a purely platonic way of course. Girl was definitely not my type personality-wise, far too cute, and if her comments about not being interested in sex were anything to go by, not compatable with me either.

“Morning sleeping cutie,” I smiled down.

“Wha… you’re… Tami…?” she asked, still pulling herself up out of sleep brain.

“I am indeed Tami,” I said, nodding sagely.

“Oh! I slept!” she said pulling herself up out of my lap, which she then looked down at, “I slept in your lap.”

“My thighs are pretty damn big, so I don’t blame you,” I chuckled.

I watched her face grow red from embarrassment, and couldn’t help but chuckle some more. She seemed to understand I wasn’t making fun of her, because she smiled back after a few seconds.

“So are you ready to get back to town? I don’t know about you but I feel pretty fucking disgusting right now and I’d really like to see whatever counts as a medieval shower,” I grimaced, looking down at my gross self.

“Yeah me too. Let’s go. Also I don’t have any food on me and I’m hungry,” she grumbled, crawling forward to peek out the hole in the roots.

“Oh damn yeah. You just had to go and mention food didn’t you, now my stomach is reminding me I haven’t eaten since yesterday breakfast,” I said with a pained expression, holding my now protesting stomach.

“Oh! I’m sorry!” she said, looking like she was apologising for stabbing me, not mentioning my lack of calorie intake.

“Oh shush, you’re fine! I was joking,” I said, reaching out and ruffling her hair, “I’ll go out first and let you know if the coast is clear.”

“Oh…” she murmured from behind me as I shuffled out of the tree.

The sun was blinding for a moment, and I had a tough time seeing anything, but it turned out not to matter because the coast was clear. I let Millie know, and we set off towards town. I only just remembered to take my human form again before we got close to town. I was still erring on the side of caution here.

It did not take as long as I thought it would and it was still morning by the time we entered the gates. We walked a few meters inside before awkwardly turning to each other.

“So um, I guess we say goodbye…?” Millie asked sadly.

“Of course not! I’ll add you right now,” I said happily, opening the game menu and sending her a friend request.

“Oh!” she chirped, her frown turning into a cheerful little smile as she navigated her own menus to accept it.

“I’m going to go my own way for now though, but how about we check in with each other in a day or two?” I asked hopefully. I felt an attachment to protecting this sweet girl.

Her smile brightened further and she nodded enthusiastically, “Yes! Oh! Can we do something fun too, there’s so many herbs and ingredients I can’t get because I’m not very good at fighting, and I could totally get them with your help! I mean, if that’s okay… I don’t want to like, force you to babysit me or anything, so you can-”

I laughed and placed a hand on her head to quiet her excited rambling, “Sure thing Millie. I’d be happy to go on ingredient collecting adventures with you. I should probably do some leveling first so I’m able to take you to more dangerous places.”

“Yes! Thank you! Thank you so much!” she said happily, pumping her fist in the air.

I couldn’t help but grin and laugh. What an adorable dork. Instant friend material.

“Okay, I’ll catch you later! Hit me up if you need anything or just want to chat,” I said, walking towards the Inn where I was staying.

“I will! Thank you! Bye!” she said, standing there in the square and waving.

 

****

 

As soon as I got to the Inn I asked about a bath, and was directed to a women’s communal shower, which I was more than a little conflicted about entering. It took me a little time to work up the courage to go in, but when I was actually in there everyone had already used it for the day and I was able to wash both myself and my clothing in peace.

After that, I left the inn with the bread and cheese breakfast, and went in search of a vendor to sell my loot to. The market by the gate came into mind, and so I headed there. It was packed by now, adventurers were everywhere, arguing and haggling with the NPC and player vendors. It seemed, from a billboard I found, that you could purchase a slot in the market.

I stood at the edge of the market and tried to figure out which vendor I should approach. The NPC ones would probably undercharge by a mile, but the player ones would try and gouge me for all I was worth if I wasn’t careful.

I was still staring when a dwarf player at one of the nearby stalls called out, “Hey you’re that chick that Aurugm was raving about! The ‘nut cracking, fire fisted hellion’.”

Hearing his accent, I did a mental double take as my brain caught up with what I had just heard. When you think of a stereotypical dwarf, and he definitely looked the part, you definitely don’t expect a crocodile dundee australian accent to come out of his mouth that’s for sure.

“Um… yeah,” I said cautiously.

“You looking to buy or sell? Jill told us guild merchants to play nice with you if you wanted to do business,” he said happily.

“Oh sure! I mean, I have a bunch of random spider bits I want to sell,” I said.

He nodded sagely, beckoning me forward, “Ah yeah they said you were new. Those spiders aren’t great experience, but that silk is in high demand, especially by you ladies.”

I squinted at him, trying to figure out if he was being sexist or not, “Why?”

“Oh because that cotton isn’t great for your lady parts that’s why. Rough and chafing, I’m sure you’ve ah… noticed,” he said, blushing beneath his beard as he explained.

“Right. Got it,” I coughed, thankful for my reasonably good control of my own blushing.

“So let’s see,” he said eagerly, changing the subject.

I pulled everything carefully from my inventory and placed it on a rough wooden table that was ready for this purpose, and he hummed thoughtfully as he began to look through it.

“Ah yes, fairly standard, although you do have quite a lot of meat and silk. As impressive as your reputation of course,” he rumbled, counting through all the spider stuff, “Yes, I can probably give you five or so silver for all this.”

“Oh cool, thanks!” I said happily. Money! It was mine!

“Uh, you’re not going to haggle?” he asked, a little taken aback.

Oh right. We’re meant to do that. Ugh, that sounded like so much hassle.

“I don’t think I can be bothered to be honest,” I said with a sheepish grin.

“Oh… right. Well in that case I’ll give ya fifteen silver then,” he said, chagrined.

Aha! I knew he was going to try and fleece me!

“Thanks,” I giggled, reaching out to take the money when he offered it.

I was about to say goodbye when I remembered the single Tephim I had remembered to loot.

“Oh hey, I have something else actually,” I told him, extracting the Essence of Air from my inventory.

I placed it on his table carefully, making sure to keep the dust-like substance in the leaves I had used to collect it. Almost immediately he leaned forward with a grin on his face, and I knew I had something he wanted. Why didn’t I loot the rest of the bodies? Damn damn damn!

“Now that is interesting. Essence of Air. It’s a component used in a lot of enchanting, and it’s not especially hard to come by, except that those imp lookin’ things you got it from are currently too far from the town to make it back here in one trip. Most adventurers aren’t willing to risk going that far out, and so we have a shortage around her now,” he told me, staring eagerly at the dust the whole time.

“Yeah worked that one out the hard way,” I laughed.

“Ah spent the night out there did ya? Those are some balls you got on you! Metaphorically speaking of course since you don’t have none,” he replied nodding in respect.

I snorted involuntarily at what he’d just said. Wow. Yup.

“I make up for it in busted ones instead,” I said with as straight a face as I could muster.

Chuckling he replied, “Yes I’ve heard as much. This will get me a lot once I resell it, so I’ll give you thirty silver for the lot.”

“Oh nice! Do you have like, some spare clothing I can buy or something that will fit me? I only have what I’m wearing and it can start to stink after a while,” I asked hopefully.

“That I do,” he nodded, turning in his booth to open a heavy chest.

He produced some clothing that looked a little higher quality than what I was wearing and put it on the table, then turned back and went to a different chest. When I saw what he had in his hands, I made the happiest most high pitched squeal of delight I have ever made in my life. I was too excited to even be embarrassed. Two bras and two pairs of underwear!

“Oh my god thank you so much!” I exclaimed, already wondering what it would feel like to be able to breathe properly when I swapped the tight binding for the less constricting bras. I mean, I knew bras were still pretty annoying, but it had to be better than a damned bandage!

“I’ll give you ten silver for the Essence, and the clothing on the-” he started, but I cut him off, leaping forward and grabbing the clothes and coins.

“Thank you!” I beamed at him.

“You’re welcome,” he said, looking a little stunned.

I was about to rush off to the public toilets to change into the new underwear when I figured I should ask him about better places to level. Even the Tephim hadn’t been very good for it.

“Hey by the way, where should I go if I want to actually get levels?” I asked.

“Oh! If you’re wanting experience, your best bet is to apply to join a party going down into the Bleaklands. There’s a lot of nasty creatures down there in the mists, but with a decent team you can get a lot of experience very quickly,” he explained.

“Great! Thank you so much!” I said, then turned and dashed off towards the toilets without waiting for a goodbye.

I rushed into the women’s toilets without a whole lot of thought for if I belonged there, threw myself into one of the stalls and tore my shirt off as fast as I could. I’d been wearing this damn binding for most of two days now and I already hated it with a passion. I took it off and stuffed it into my inventory, and took out one of the hallowed bras. It was an off white colour, obviously undyed from the spider silk it was made of, but I didn’t care in the slightest. The wire seemed to be made of something a little more flexible that metal, and I guessed it was probably bone. I hoped it didn’t break and stab me or anything.

I slipped the straps onto my arms, brought the two ends of the band in front to orient myself, then hooked them together behind my back. Boom, first try! All that practice on other girls had paid off! I left the toilets feeling freer and lighter than when I had entered, and I smiled and waved gratefully over to the dwarven vendor.

Time to take his advice and find a party to level with. I wanted to be stronger!

Making my way over to the adventurer board, I took a step back when the thing turned into an augmented reality style game menu. Alright, I guess I’ll search for a beginner group to apply for. It seemed that most parties were formed with the idea of being out in the wild for multiple days, and that made sense. I’d have to get a rain check from Millie about our hanging out. I’d need to make it up to her somehow.

I tried to join a few parties, but it was hard to get a slot as a damage dealer. I finally got into one that was planning to make the day trip to the Bleaklands, then spend two days inside. I’d be gone for a total of four days which sounded reasonable. I’d be getting out with a day to spare before I needed to exit the pod and do my week of classes. I was definitely not looking forward to that one.

When I was accepted into the party, a little window appeared in the left hand corner of my vision that showed me all the people in it. We had the party leader and tank named Grerum, the healer named Xethu, and the two other damage dealers were named Aurora and Florence.

I also gained a general awareness of where the members of my party were hanging out, so I followed that sense over to a space near the gate, where a group of four people were standing in a huddle and talking.

“Hiya!” I said cheerily, “I’m Tami!”

“Tami, thank you for joining us,” a gruff man in a chainmail hauberk said, turning around to greet me.

“Thanks for having me,” I smiled back.

The guy looked like he was going for the young rough knight look, and his kite shield even had some crudely painted heraldry on it. His helmet was a typical cone thing with a nose bar. Fairly low level looking equipment, but probably more than I could even hope to afford right now.

“So let me introduce you to the others. We’re all strangers so we’ll have to learn to get along as we go,” he said seriously. No nonsense party lead. Got it. That would work.

He pointed to a small lizard girl wearing a simple robe who looked like a cross between a human and a gecko, “This is Xethu. She’ll be our healer. Disrespect her and I’ll kick any of you.”

The little gecko girl smiled sweetly at me, her huge green and yellow eyes twitching up and down my form as she got a good look at me. Her robes were about as simple as mine, but her arms were covered in this crazy web of rope. The rope had semi precious stones woven through it, along with some feathers and other random objects.

“This is Florence,” he said, pointing to a tall blonde haired and handsome guy who wore some relatively nice looking robes, “He’s a ranged caster DPS.”

He looked at me like he was trying to figure out if he wanted to laugh at me or ogle me. He was such a stereotypical pretty boy looking dude that I struggled not to roll my eyes. He was totally going to be trouble.

Then Grerum stepped aside and motioned to the last member of the team, and my breath caught in my throat. Oh. It was the fire haired girl, standing there in her strange robes with her sword sheathed at her hip, and a stunned expression on her face that must have mirrored my own. Gods she was gorgeous. Her eyes moved me on some deep and spiritual level every time we made eye contact I swear. I almost took a reflexive step towards her before I caught myself.

“This is Aurora,” Grerum said, completely missing the sizzling, crackling eye contact that was being made in front of him.