Trouble With Horns

My vision returned to the sight of a rusty blade swinging right at my face. Pure survival instinct saved me from a brutal death within seconds of spawning. It wasn’t just instinct however that completed the follow through. Before my rugged male body had made it harder and harder to do, I’d been pretty damn good at gymnastics as a kid, and whatever body that randomiser had given me was supple. My desperate lunge backwards turned into a backwards roll that took me right back up onto my feet with speed, and I got a quick look at my attacker before they were swinging at me again.

My attacker was hot. That was about as much as I got before I was throwing myself wide again, and bringing myself up into a twirl that was definitely not masculine enough for my usual tastes. Who the fuck was having a go at me this early? Surely the game wouldn’t spawn me in the middle of hostile NPCS?

A squealing growl from behind alerted me to a new attacker, and I spun, selecting a random ability from whatever had been randomly generated when I made that aggregious fuck up. My second attacker was really really not hot. Like holy shit this fucker was ugly. It was all hair and limbs and oh jesus it was a spider. A big one. My ability drew me forward, my hand connecting with like, altogether way too many eyes in an eruption of flame and burning spider bits.

“Oh! You’re not a spider! My bad!” the chick who had taken a swing at me called from behind.

“Yeah no shit lady!” I called back, ducking a sharp claw from the creepy giant spider in front of me. Oh damn my voice sounded a little odd, just what kind of character had I been put in?

I hit that same ability again, experimenting to see if a kick would do the same work. It did alright, but my foot was not nearly as long as I expected, and the spider watched with what I swear was an amused smirk as my foot sailed past. Alright you little shit, so I haven’t got the whole finesse thing down yet. New body, don’t understand it yet, time to get intimate. Wait no ew.

I rushed the dumb spider with fists-a-flaming and just shoved them into the eyes of the thing. It screamed and writhed, but my fists stayed on fire, and very soon the spider was on fire too as it struggled feebly on the ground. Yeah you unholy abomination! Burn! When it stopped twitching, I looked up and got a proper look at my strange would be attacker and now ally.

She was a pretty looking elf kind of chick, her skin was a little strange, like someone had taken your average pale skin and desaturated it. Kindof grey looking, but not all the way. She had middling length fiery coloured hair and bright orange eyes. Not glowing, but they may as well have been. She wore this weird robe setup with lots of slits in it for easier movement. Maybe they were just where swords had sliced it up. I don’t know.

“You going to stop playing with your food there little lady or are you going to come help me with the rest of the spiders?” she asked, driving her sword down into the head of another spider as she raised an eyebrow at me.

Right, more spiders, time to kill. I leapt at the next one and- wait… little lady? Oh dear. I crashed down on top of the thing with my fists on fire again, pummeling it with both hands at once like a dropped anvil. I got an incredibly satisfying crunch sound, and looked for my next target. There it was, let’s try another ability! I wonder what this one does?

It lurched me forward like I’d been yanked through the air by a dozen urgent hands, and I was very much not prepared to be that close to so many flailing hairy limbs.

I screamed. I’m not proud of it, but I did. The scream was high and girlish in that husky sort of way that sends little zipping goosebumps up your arms. Wow okay.

My hands caught the sharp legs around the ankles before they could put ragged holes in me, and I used that to throw the thing over my shoulder. Wait what do you call spider ankles? I’d google that later.

The spider squirmed behind me, squealing an ear grating squeal as it did so. I turned and tried to kick it, but my feet slipped in spider gunk and I only succeeded in straddling the thing. I could feel its gross hairs all up my bare hairless legs. I was going to have nightmares about that feeling for the rest of my life. Bringing my thighs together was almost a reflex at first, but then I realised with a smile that I could end the spider this way. There was a moment of strain as I squeezed, before it gave way with a wet pop that was as satisfying as it was disturbing.

I looked up to find the chick with the sword staring at me with a very odd expression. Was that… admiration and arousal? Nevermind, flirt later, kill spiders now. Or should those two things be the other way around?

I saw another spider coming at her from inside her blind spot, and I leapt through the air to intercept the monster in midair. It was as I connected with the thing that I realised I had wings, and apparently horns. I found out about the horns as they gored the abdomen viciously, unzipping it and spilling the innards all over the place. This was turning into the most disgusting experience of my life. I was totally covered in spider goo and I did not feel totally okay with that.

By the time I rolled to my feet after the midair tackle, the spider was dead and rolling across the ground. A quick glance revealed that it was now just myself and sword lady left standing in what I now saw was a clearing inside a pleasant, if webbed forest. Vibrant green leaves decked the trees and lush underbrush was scattered beneath their boughs.

It was so gut wrenchingly stereotypically MMO starter zone that if my eyes hadn’t been locked on a gorgeous girl they would have rolled out of my head. Her hair was intense, it wasn’t orange, or red… it was both, and my mind had a little hiccup trying to figure that one out. Fantasy girl, fantasy hair, chill brain, chill. It makes sense if you don’t stare too hard.

Her face, when I turned my admiring eyes onto it, was the perfect blend of sharp angles and soft curves that was doing an amazing job of entrancing my poor erratically beating heart. The weird thing was that for a vague second I thought I knew her.

“What’re you staring at, eh?” she asked, looking me up and down with a gaze that sparked electricity across my sensitive skin.

With my awareness returning a little more, I gained an awareness of just how tense and ready my body was to keep fighting. Almost felt like it was going to start moving on its own, and hastily I took a deep breath, forcing myself to relax. It was a strange feeling when I got it right. I felt my wings shrink and retract into my back until I could no longer feel them, and the horns receded into my skull in a similar manner. Where the hell they actually went was beyond me, and I wrote it off as magic again.

“Sorry. That was a pretty wild way to spawn in,” I chuckled with a wry smile, then frowned when I heard myself, “Damn what is with that voice?”

My voice, now that I could concentrate on it properly, was very feminine, if a little husky. Damn though even if it was a chick’s voice I kinda loved it. It was hot.

“Uh, it’s a voice? I don’t really know what to say,” the other girl said with a confused shrug, although the corners of her lips curled up a little.

I ignored her for a moment and stared down at myself. The first thing I noticed as I twisted to look at myself was oh my god hips. I was like all hips below my thin waist. Well, apart from the part where I was all thighs and ass. Holy hell if this was a random character then the randomiser was thirsty as fuck. My legs were long and hot and built to kick things until they begged for mercy, while my upper body was the sort of thing you’d see in a korean phone game. Soft and limbre but with a hint of underlying strength that I was now well acquainted with.

My chest had boobs attached, albeit small and perky ones rather than giant balloons like you’d expect looking at the rest of my body. That was nice at least. The part that was confusing me was the complete lack of giving a shit I was feeling for being in a girl’s body. It felt really damn good to move around in, and I think I was more than slightly emotional about being able to bend the way I had as a kid.

“Well?” the sword chick asked, “Are you alright? You’re looking at your character like it’s the first time you’ve seen it.”

“Yup, I’m feeling pretty good. I did accidentally randomise my character though, so this is actually the first time I’ve seen myself,” I explained, looking back up into her cocky orange eyes.

We stared at each other again for a moment, something about her eyes making me feel a skipping tap dancing warmth in my stomach. It was like she was trying to impale me with them or something.

“So you just spawned? Right here?” she asked finally, cocking an eyebrow quizzically.

“Yeah. Sorta dropped in on you there didn’t I?” I chuckled. Ohh I liked that chuckle. It started off low and husky, and moved up into a high gentle lilt that made me smile a little more.

Seems she liked it too, because she looked away for a moment, her cheeks gaining the tiniest little flush.

“Well I more... need to more-” she started, then frowned and began again, “Well I need to do more grinding. Thanks for the assist I guess, or should it be you that is thanking me. Doesn’t matter. Bye.”

Then she was off, rushing into the underbrush like I’d just farted. This game was already shaping up to be an altogether more interesting experience than the last game I’d played, that was for sure. I was just about to smile again when I got a whiff of myself and almost dry heaved right there. Wow, maybe that's why she rushed away so quickly. These spiders smelled terrible when you opened them up. I needed a wash.

With a sigh, I shook some of the gunk off, and peered hopefully one last time into the underbrush where the sword girl had disappeared to. Well, guess it was time to try and find like, a stream or something. There was no way I was going into civilisation looking like, and smelling like... this.

Streams flowed downhill, so I figured if I just walked downhill I’d find somewhere to wash up. I was going to have to punch more spiders though, that I was sure of. The trees were covered in thick sticky webs.

I set off, discovering that my feet were bare when I almost immediately stood on a sharp rock. I almost kicked the damn thing, but then thought better of it. I did a lot of staring down as I set off again, making sure I was avoiding both the webs and any sharp things on the ground. That staring down constantly brought my unfamiliar figure into view. It was crazy honestly. I was trying to ignore it, but my mind was in a state of emotional overload.

The game had spawned me in wearing some sort of strange dress thing. It clung to my body from waist to neck, and didn’t have any sleeves. Below my waist though was a different story. The sides of the skirt portion of the dress had been cut out all the way up to above my hips. There was bare skin showing all the way from my toes to my waist. Thankfully I was wearing simple linen underwear. Being exposed there too would have been a little too much for me I think.

As I walked, I couldn’t honestly say I hated the looks that the random generator had given me. I was definitely attractive, or at least my body was. I didn’t know what my face looked like. I did hate this dress thing though. I needed some pants and a shirt as soon as possible.

Eventually I did find a stream, but only after punching my way through a great many spiders, who at least had the courtesy to come at me one by one.

The stream was a lazy little thing that was damn cold when I dipped a toe in it and I stared down at it with a sigh of resignation. Cold scrubbing it was. Now I just had to… wash. I took the top of the dress, which almost resembled a very tight T-shirt with no sleeves, and tried to pull it down, but it wouldn’t budge. It was like the damn thing was welded to me. Was this like my character’s version of underwear and I couldn’t take it off?

I felt across myself, trying to find a hidden clasp or something, and then realised what my problem was. The back was open, in a manner of speaking, but the two sides of the open back were tied together with a crisscross pattern. Thankfully this body was as supple and flexible as I could even dare to hope, so I was able to reach the knot at the top and get it undone pretty easily. I could soooo get used to this flexibility, my word.

With the top undone, I pulled it down, exposing my breasts in the process and leaving it bunched around my hips. Where it was definitely going to stay, because there was no way I was going to get it over those things. Birthing hips were an understatement here. I pulled it back up over my head, and that seemed to do the trick. I was now standing in the middle of a forest with just bottom underwear on.

The chill of the gentle forest breeze sent goosebumps rippling over my skin and I shivered involuntarily. Feeling a tightness begin on my breasts, I looked down to see my nipples becoming soft points. That was a fucking wild feeling. I stood there in that breeze and just watched my chest rise and fall with each breath. Strangely, I didn’t feel any sort of arousal. I mean sure they were nice tits, but it was calming more than anything. A strange emotion settled over me, one that I couldn’t put a name to. It was like calm, but different. Deeper and more potent.

I raised a hand and gently cupped one boob, then the other. It was a pretty intense moment, but I again struggled to identify why. Dropping them with a sigh, I looked down at the rest of me. Underwear time I guess? I was all too aware of what would happen if you didn’t wash between your legs as a woman.

I was reminded of a particularly haunting memory, a time when I was going to go down on an old classmate. She’d been hot, but her hygiene had not been the best. I’d very politely asked her to wash before I put anything near her. We’d had a talk afterwards about why. Poor girl’s mother was less than helpful for anything other than drinking and paying the bills. What was the girl’s name again? Gemma. I should flick her a message some time and just make sure she’s doing okay.

With that all in mind, I took my underwear off and looked at myself. Yup, that was a vagina. I was practically hairless down there as well, apart from the normal faint hairs one had everywhere. No giant bush of pubes. That was one less thing to worry about I guess.

When this moment has been described to me by other men who have used female characters in the past, they’ve described a certain wrongness about not having a dick. There was no such feeling for me, and I was a little confused by it. Shouldn’t I be feeling something? What I felt instead was more of that odd calm from before.

A gust of wind reminded me that I was now standing naked in a forest, so I quickly made my way down to a tiny pool of water in the stream and got to work rubbing all the spider gunk off my body with sand. The sand quickly turned into a bad idea, my skin was far too soft for that! So I just used my hands to clean instead. That was one hell of a strange experience all up, and my mind felt like it was a table tennis ball stuck in a barrel that was rolling down a hill at mach 3. I was thinking and feeling all sorts of strange things and I was totally not ready for them.

Once I was done with my body, I quickly rinsed my hair, which had been tied up in a ponytail since I spawned. With my hair wrangled out of the way once more, I walked back up on the bank and threw my dress and underwear into the stream. The dress in particular was filthy, so I had to dunk it a few times and scrape the gross congealing mess off with a stick. I got it looking okay eventually though, and pulled both garments back out of the water and threw them onto a rock to dry in a little patch of sun.

I laid down on the grass and basked in the sun for a while, letting the warm rays suffuse my skin after the freezing cold water. The warmth was incredible actually, and I found myself humming with happiness. While I enjoyed the sunlight however, I remembered that this character was random, and suddenly the urge to check out my character sheet overwhelmed me.

Calling up the menu I navigated to my character sheet. Let’s see what the damage was. I knew I was female, but time to check what my race was.

Race: Infiltrator Darkling Mk4
The Infiltrator Darkling Mk4 was an attempt by the Ruzian Theocracy to take Darklings and give them the ability to pass as a human in order to infiltrate the xenophobic Empire of Pagutum. The Infiltrator Darklings have since renounced the Ruzian Theocracy due to their harsh treatment and have escaped into Pagutum under their natural human guises. The Infiltrator Darklings now hide in plain sight amongst the people of Pagutum, although they have begun to move further west to more accepting regions of late.

The Infiltrator Darklings are able to take a human form, as well as an enhanced form that allows them to perform their old intended roles with greater ease. The Mk4 variant were designed as fast attack troops with the ability to hide among their enemy before deployment. The Mk4 variant’s enhanced form gives them greater speed, strength and the ability to fly.

This class is exclusive to the Randomise Character Function.

Wow that was a lot to take in. I was a persecuted minority on the run from another persecuted minority. If I remembered from the map though, I was a long way away from that whole shitty situation, so I figured I’d be fine. The enhanced form thing was like really fucking cool though. I was totally down for that.

I flicked to the rest of my stats page, and took a look at the damage there. My stats were all over the place, as I’d feared. On the physical side I had middling Strength, High as hell Speed and Endurance, low Constitution and Toughness. On the Magical side I had pretty good Power, Urgency and Capacity, while Anamnesis and Intricacy were a little lacking. The ability trees I had gotten were.. Self Cast Magic, Contact Magic and Unarmed.

Wow that was a lot to take in. I was fast in both my casting and my movements, able to do both for a long time and not very tanky. My Trees might actually synergise pretty well together if I kept doing what I’d been doing during combat. I would be a fast glass cannon punchy girl! Damn I already knew I was going to need to prove my worth to every public raid and dungeon group I joined. Another sigh. Oh! I wonder what my affinities were? Energy and Dark. Well that makes sense? Dark for Darkling and Energy for fire and other stuff. Sooo I was a punchy glass cannon girl that was also on fire. Boom, that sounded great actually.

I smiled to myself and dismissed the menus with the wave of a hand. I might have actually come out on top with that whole random character thing! Oh shit, I should try and contact Taylor too.

I brought up the menu with a thought and explored it all until I found the social tab. Using the virtual keyboard that popped up, I typed LipsAndShades into the friend request box and added a little message saying it was me. She must have been waiting for my request, because it got accepted straight away. Moments after she accepted it, I had a call come through.

Premium Call. Would you like to accept? This will open a voice and video call.

Oh shit. What do I do? Ahh fuck it. I’m not an anime character, I’ll just accept the damn call and explain the situation.

Call accepted.

“Hey Terry! How’s the ga-” Taylor started as her video window popped up in front of me.

Her Jaw dropped open and her eyes flicked down to my chest and back up again. Riiight, I’d forgotten I was a naked chick right now.