Tricked Into A NewLife, God Must Be Screwing With Me!

A large all-white space

Two figures, one male and one female, were standing in front of a large sphere. A globe depicting a world that was not Earth. A third figure, an androgynous youth, was floating in the air with their legs crossed, tapping away on a smartphone.

After a few minutes of silence, the man turned to the woman and spoke, "Oy! Where d'you git off?! Tryin' to get 'er into yer good graces so early?! Ain't this supposed ta be ah ceasefire?!" The man turned to the Androgynous Youth.

Looking up from their smartphone, the Androgynous Youth spoke, "It's fine, a god's gift wouldn't work for Stahlia anyways, the [Pantheonic Blessing System] is inherently incompatible with her [Custom Class] by its very nature; this will only make things more interesting." The man's face turned red, and he opened his mouth to protest. The Androgynous Youth's eyes turned cold, "I said it's fine. Is that clear?"

The man could only nod, cowed before the youth's gaze. To any onlooker this would have been a curious sight; the man was tall and well built, strong abs and arms well-tanned and oiled. Cowed by a youth of indeterminate gender who looked as though a strong breeze might have knocked them from their airborne perch.

The woman was nonplussed. Without looking up from the globe she intoned; "What exactly is

the custom class pray tell? You said it was something even you could not do. I find that incredibly hard to believe."

The Androgynous Youth opened their mouth to answer when all of a sudden they burst into laughter. "Pray tell, what humors you so? I was asking you a serious question." the woman asked of them. The Androgynous Youth shook their head.

"Nothing you said was so funny, the pawn simply discovered he is a she. ‘Momma, where is my penis?’ Ha!" Shaking their head, the Youth tossed the smartphone over their shoulder, where it promptly vanished into thin air.

"To answer your question, quite a lot is different. For one, the amount of soul potential [Custom Class] requires is insane. I would say that it's more than a tier six or seven class, like the [Aspirant] or [Lord] class systems. ninety-nine out of a hundred times, trying to acquire [Custom Class] would make your soul pop off." The woman raised an eyebrow.

"More energy than tier six or seven?" she intoned. The youth nodded.

"More than ten times tier six, almost twice as much as tier seven. Compared to the regular system it doesn't even compare. I would wager that even some of the lower gods might not have a big enough soul to adequately support it."

The Youth pulled out their smartphone and waved it in front of the man's face, "See? I told you. The blessing failed, it got blocked and couldn't activate." The Man grunted by way of response.

The Woman waited to see if the Youth planned to continue, but when they did not, she asked another question, "But most of that potential would be taken up by the [Divine Authority] you added, would it not? Any soul that could host a seed of divinity would be able to use the [Custom Class] I should think."

The Youth sighed and glanced down at the phone. They grumbled to themselves while pretending not to hear the Woman's question, "What a boring sister..." Pointing the phone at the globe, the Youth flicked their finger across the screen, sending a small stream of light into a small dot that had just appeared on its surface, "There, as long as that class change doesn't kill you, it should make things more interesting... and for good measure, this." The Youth tapped their finger on the phone screen, sending one extra small particle of light into the dot.

They turned to the woman, "I saw what you did, interesting.” They said, before flashing a grin, “Alright, I’ll tell you; stop looking at me like that.” The woman nodded, before returning her expression back to one of neutrality.

The youth glanced down at his phone briefly before taking a deep breath, “So, you know how the system usually works. Based on how much Soul Potential a person is born with, quantified as mana, the system assigns them a tier-one class. By fulfilling various obligations, they can go about improving their soul’s potential. The system frames this as ‘leveling up’. Upon reaching certain thresholds, the system will either derive a higher tier class or, if they lack enough spare potential, grant them a new class line. Classes grant skills according to their tier, as well as augmenting their holder with buffed stats, while the system allocates any spare potential to grant talents based on the user’s actions.”

The youth took a breath and checked their phone. Suddenly, their eyes snapped up and they glared at the man, “You sent a demon to her.” The woman looked up at the man, anger clear on her own face, despite her earlier actions. However, she knew better than to speak up and further agitate the youth.

The man grunted, “Aye, that I did. Considerin’ you let ‘er get away wit tryin’ tah bless ‘er, this much should be just fine. No?” The man jerked his chin towards the woman, who quickly averted her eyes. The youth furrowed their brow while checking their phone.

“Which one did you send… Ah, that should be fine, in fact, her getting involved with this should make things way more interesting. I’ll allow it.” The man breathed out in audible relief, while the woman opened her mouth to protest. However, catching the look the youth shot at her, she held her tongue.

The youth was about to continue the explanation, when all of a sudden, an alarm began blaring on their phone. Quickly checking it, they smiled, “Good, the auto retrieval mechanism worked this time; I won’t have to go out and do it manually. Oof looks like we got an extra, sorry about that… Here, I’ll give you the courtesy to make up for it.” The youth pointed their phone at the globe and sent a beam of light from it down to a spot, all while holding a disconcerting grin on their face. The woman frowned.

“You certainly don’t look sorry.” With a chuckle, the youth ignored her and continued their earlier train of thought.

“Very few people have enough potential to achieve a tier-six class, even fewer can get a tier-seven. [Custom Class] should be impossible for a mortal to properly use, not because it comes with a built-in divine authority, but because it lacks the safety features inherent to the system. Unlike how the standard classes are balanced, with more cost-intensive abilities being segregated, [Custom Class] allows the user to select any ability from any tier, at any time. As long as they have enough potential to afford it. Of course, that does nothing to prevent the long-term side effects of… YOU BITCH!”

The youth suddenly appeared in front of the woman, with their fist implanted into her sternum. The woman collapsed to the ground, gasping for breath. The youth stood up and waved a hand, causing a door to appear. “I fucking told you that a [Pantheonic Blessing] was incompatible, why the fuck

did you try and force it. She is MY. Toy. Not. Yours.” The youth stepped through the door.

The man looked down at the woman, “Ya shouldni half done that.” She groaned and stood back up before dusting herself off.

“I’ll live. Besides, what’s done is done; our sister doesn’t like reverting causality if he can help it.”

The man nodded.

“Indeed, our brother might be a stickler for the rules she set, but that just means he follows them herself.”

Before long, the youth returned, “I fixed her soul so that your fuck up won’t disintegrate it. Hands. Off. My. Toy. You hear me?” The woman nodded, a solemn expression fixed on her face. “Seriously. I hate directly interfering with the soul, it’s so tiring.”

The youth stopped for a moment, recollecting themselves, “Where was I…? Right. So basically, the regular classes are built in such a way as to protect the soul of the user, if there isn’t enough potential then the system gives a tier-one class or no class at all. If there is enough, then the user is allowed to acquire a higher tier class. For safety though, everyone who gets a class starts at tier-one. Custom Class bypasses all of this, letting its user take any ability, of any tier, at any time. Limited only by their quantified soul potential, ‘Life Points’. Do you understand the difference now?”

The woman nodded, “Thank you for explaining it to me… incidentally, you have that other soul, are you going to incarnate it?” The youth glanced down at their phone.

“This? Yea, in a few mortal years. We’ve been sending a lot of them over recently, the constant influx of high potential souls is stressing the system, so I’ll wait for it to recover a bit.” The youth returned to tapping away on their phone, it was clear they were done talking to the woman. The woman and the man went back to overseeing the globe.

All was quiet for a few minutes until, suddenly, the youth jumped down and opened a doorway while exclaiming, “Oh shit. OI, what the fuck! Nononono don’t do that. You shouldn’t fucking do that yet. You’re not strong enough for that! DAMNIT! FERMINA! THIS IS YOUR FUCKING FAULT!” The youth ran through the door. Before it shut, the man and the woman heard them greet someone.

“Yo George! Looks like you died again huh? Man, you just aren’t very lucky.”

The man glanced at the woman, “Seems attached to this’un huh.”

The woman glanced at the shut door for a moment before responding, “Indeed, our sibling certainly seems to have taken a liking to this soul. The next game ought to be quite fun indeed.”