Chapter 194 Not Enough
I looked away, my jaw tightened. "Born with it?"
'But why is it just me? I've never heard of any other fae born with a half-mate mark. I thought maybe I was special. She made me believe I was. But I'm nothing more than dirt in the eyes of the Fae.
They looked at me like I was not one of them… Wingless, no magic powers, talk to butterflies, and stubborn. That is all to me.
Unlike my cousins, Thistle has mastered her water magic, and Lunaria is already regarded as a fae goddess who can control the weather. While I am nothing more than a dead weight.
No wonder they wanted to send me away, I am nothing but a disgrace to our bloodline.'
Silence stretched between us. My mother's eyes searched my face like she wanted to say something… but whatever it was, she swallowed it down.
"You don't understand," I muttered. "You've always been perfect. A full-blooded fae with a royal title, with magic, wings, everything. And I'm just… me." My voice cracked at the end.
She stepped forward, her expression softening. "Aeris… everything is not as it seems, I might seem perfect to you…" Her voice carried pain. "…but I am not perfect. And you are not just you… You are my special girl. You are my source of joy." She reached her hand, cupping my face.
A drop of tear rolled down my cheeks. "Then why are you giving me away? Mother, please let me stay with you."
I held my breath, waiting, hoping she'd say the words I needed to hear. That I was enough. That she wished things were different. That she regretted letting the King control my future.
But she didn't.
Instead, she retracted her hand, her warmth replaced by cold. She reached for the tray and picked up a piece of bread. "Eat something before it gets cold."
I stared at her. That was it?
"I'm not hungry," I said flatly.
She didn't argue. She just placed the bread back on the tray and walked toward the window.
I followed her movement with my eyes, panic rising in my chest again. White was still behind the curtain.
She stopped right in front of it.
"Mother…" I started.
But before I could say anything else, she turned around. "You should wear something warmer today. The weather is changing."
Her gaze swept past me, unreadable, and for a moment, I wondered… had she seen the wolf?
She didn't mention it. Maybe she didn't want to. Or maybe she was pretending not to notice… just like she pretended everything was fine between us.
"At least tell me about my father." I paused, I know this was not the right time to talk about this… but I feel like it was now or never. "If I get married, I'm afraid it will be difficult for us to have this conversation."
Her eyes darkened, her hands trembled slightly, and she quickly hid them behind her back.
"I have something to attend to, I'll take my leave now," she said, moving toward the door.
"But…" My throat tightened again. Disappointment rushed through my veins like a broken dam.
She paused at the doorway. "You should tell me next time you have a nightmare."
I didn't respond. I just stared at her back. 'What exactly are you hiding from me, mother? Why are you so quick to send me away like I'm a reminder of your pain?'
She walked out quietly, closing the door behind her with a soft click.
I let out a shaky breath and turned toward the window.
White poked his head out from behind the curtain.
"You almost got us caught," I muttered, walking over to him.
He wagged his tail once, tongue lolling out like he thought this was all a game.
"I'm serious," I whispered, crouching beside him. "What if she saw you?" I tried to hide my emotions, it would be embarrassing to cry in front of a wolf.
But I could feel the dam inside me about to burst.
His eyes gleamed, but he didn't answer, of course. He just nudged his head into my chest.
I froze as his warmth pressed against me again.
"I don't get you," I whispered. "But I'm glad you didn't run away."
I let my fingers slide into his fur, breathing slowly. My mother's scent still lingered in the room, but her presence was already gone.
I felt like I wasn't wanted but at least I wasn't alone.
Tears streamed down my cheeks. White whimpered, resting his head over my shoulders.
My arms wrapped around it, my shoulders trembled, everything blurred and the only thing I could see was his white fur.
I buried my head in his warmth, the feeling of not being alone shattered the last wall of defence I had.
I didn't know how long I stayed kneeling on the floor with my face buried in his fur. My tears had soaked into his coat, but he didn't move. He just stayed there, like he understood, like he was some gentleman lending his shoulders to cry on.
Eventually, the trembling stopped. My hands loosened their grip, and I sat back with a sigh, wiping my face with the edge of my sleeve.
"I don't know what I'm doing anymore," I whispered, my voice hoarse. "They're sending me away… and I don't even know who I am."
White blinked slowly, then rested his chin on my knee.
I looked down at him, a faint smile pulling at my lips. "You're lucky you're a wolf. No one expects you to be anything more than what you are."
He gave a soft huff, like he disagreed.
My gaze drifted toward the door. The ache in my chest was still there, but I knew I needed to decide what my fate must be.
I ran my fingers gently over White's ears. "Let's stay here a little longer," I murmured. "Just the two of us."
For now… it was enough.