NOVEL NEXT Chapter 248: The Distance Between Us
[Lavinia's POV—Outside the Emperor's Office—Continuation]
Osric and I just stood there.
The distance between us was barely a few steps, yet somehow… it felt as though our hearts had been pushed to opposite ends of the world.
His voice broke the silence first, low and unsteady. "Lavi… why does it feel like those words weren't from Solena at all, but from you?"
I froze. The air around us seemed still. He had heard it—the truth hidden beneath my tone.
But I refused to answer. I forced my voice into something sharp and final.
"Take a leave, Osric."
He blinked, taken aback. "What?"
I met his eyes squarely, refusing to waver. "Since your coming-of-age ceremony, you've followed me everywhere, every step, every breath… without so much as a single leave. So I shall grant you one now. Take a leave—from being my protector—for some days."
The words cut between us like a blade.
He stepped forward, desperation flaring in his gaze. "Lavi, no. Don't do this. I swore my oath to protect you. I cannot leave you—not even for a day—"
I cut him off again, sharper, louder. "Sir Haldor will be with me during your absence. He is strong enough to protect me. Isn't that right, Sir Haldor?"
Haldor, caught between us, stiffened. He could feel it—the storm crackling in the air. Still, he bowed his head. "Yes, Your Highness. Your safety is my utmost duty. I will protect you while Lord Osric is away."
"There," I said, my voice trembling only at the edges. "See? Sir Haldor is here. So take a leave, Osric. You deserve it."
This… this is the only choice I have.
I know, Osric—you must have so many questions burning inside you. You're wondering why, all of a sudden, I'm pushing you away, why I'm building this distance between us when we've never known distance before.
But I can't tell you.
Because the way you stopped me from entering the Divine Library that day… the way you stood between me and the truth… I know you'll do it again. And next time, when it matters most, when I must uncover what everyone is hiding from me… I can't let you stand in my way.
No matter how much it hurts.
I turned, my skirts brushing past him, every step heavier than the last. I didn't look back—not even when I could feel his eyes burning into me.
"Then…" I added, my voice colder than I intended, "…I hope you enjoy your holiday, Osric."
And just like that, I crossed the threshold into Papa's office—leaving him, and the widening crack in my heart, behind me.
***
[Osric's Pov—Continution—Outside the Emperor's Office]
Her words rang in my ears like the toll of a funeral bell.
"Take a leave, Osric. You deserve it."
Leave? From her? From the oath I swore with every drop of blood in my body? The thought alone made my chest tighten as though invisible chains had been wrapped around me.
I wanted to speak. To tell her she was wrong, that I would never—could never—leave her side. But when I looked into her eyes, all I saw was distance. A wall. One I had no idea how she'd built so quickly, yet one that stood solidly between us now.
She walked past me, her skirts brushing against my arm like the ghost of something I was about to lose. And when she said those last words—
"Then… I hope you have a good holiday, Osric."
—it felt like a blade slipped between my ribs.
I clenched my fists, forcing my breathing to stay steady, even as my heart screamed to reach out, to pull her back, to demand answers.
But I couldn't.
Because I knew the truth.
The vision she'd seen at the altar, the Divine Library, the secrets buried deeper than even she could imagine—if she unraveled them, it would destroy her. And I… I couldn't allow that. Even if it meant letting her hate me. Even if it meant watching her turn away, her voice colder than steel.
Sir Haldor's presence at her side only twisted the knife further. I knew the man would protect her with his life, but that wasn't the point. That was my duty. My vow. My everything.
And yet…her voice echoed again. Your action may separate her from you forever.
A chill ran down my spine.
Was she speaking of Solena? Or… of herself?
I pressed a hand to my chest, where my heart hammered with a restless ache. No. I can't lose her. I can lose kingdoms, I can lose battles, and I can even lose my life. But not her. Never her.
And yet… right now, for the first time in my life, I felt it.
A crack.
Not in her, but in us.
My throat tightened, words scraping out in a whisper meant only for me. "Is… is the cruel fate of our last life going to repeat again?"
The thought hollowed me. I clenched my fists until my nails dug crescents into my palms, trying to hold on to something—anything—to stop the fear from devouring me whole.
"I don't want fate to separate us again. I don't want… the end of us."
The corridor blurred before my eyes, the weight of old sins pressing down on my shoulders. My mistakes from that damned life—every wrong choice, every betrayal, every moment I hesitated when I should have fought for her—haunt me still. They coil around my soul like chains that never loosen.
And Lavinia… she is the only light that cuts through that suffocating dark. The only warmth that reminds me I am more than the stain of my past.
But what happens when that light discovers the truth?
When she learns this is not her first life… when she remembers the temple, the fire, the blood… when she remembers me?
She may forgive her father, who twisted the very flow of time to bring her back. She may forgive because he suffered with her and turned the whole empire with blood.
But me? What did I do?
Nothing but drowning in guilt. Nothing but standing here, chained by sins I cannot erase.
My voice cracked against the silence, bitter and raw. "And what am I, in her eyes, but the coward who failed her once… and hides behind guilt now?"
I felt weak—like a knight stripped of sword and shield, left bare before the judgment I feared most. Not from the Emperor. Not from fate. But from her.
If Lavinia looks at me with those eyes—those eyes that see everything—and finds nothing but betrayal… I will not survive it.
***
[Lavinia's Pov—Emperor's Office—Continuation]
THUD!
The heavy door slammed behind me, leaving Osric frozen in the hallway—his face etched with shock, pain, and something that twisted deep inside my chest. The sight of him standing there, abandoned, was like pressing a blade against my own heart.
"…It hurts," I whispered, my hand clutching over my chest.
Marshi and Solena exchanged a glance, silent, their eyes soft as though they, too, understood the invisible thread that bound me and Osric—a thread I had just cut with my own hands.
But ofcourse...how can I stay angry with the love of my life for so long? It just for a time being osric. So that you won't stand between me and truth. Yes, just for the time being.
"What hurts, Lavinia?"
Papa's voice boomed across the office, commanding and sharp as always, but the moment his gaze fell on me, that edge softened. He crossed the room in long strides, his hands firm and warm as they landed on my shoulders. His eyes scanned me up and down like a hawk searching for hidden wounds.
"Tell me, my dear—did something happen? Did someone hurt you?" His jaw tightened, and he turned instantly to Ravick. "Summon the physician. No, better—call the priest as well. I want her examined at once—"
A laugh escaped me, light and unrestrained. "Pfft!"
He froze, caught off guard, and I looked up at him, caught between amusement and a strange ache. How could I stay angry at this man—this feared tyrant emperor—when he panicked at the mere mention of the word hurt?
I threw my arms around him, burying my face against his chest. "Papa… sometimes I wonder. How can you be so terrifying to the world, yet so hopelessly overprotective when it comes to me?"
He blinked, clearly unprepared for my words, then let out a low chuckle. His large hand came down to gently pat my head, his fingers brushing through my hair as though I were still that tiny child who clung to him.
"Because you're my daughter," he said, his voice quieter now but carrying a weight that settled deep into my heart. "And no matter what the world calls me—tyrant, monster, emperor—none of it matters here. You are the only bond I have that cannot be broken. You are the one thing in this world I cannot, and will not, ever lose."
My throat tightened, and I hugged him even harder, feeling his strength wrap around me like unshakable armor. "Of course, Papa… I love you so much."
A rare smile tugged at his lips—gentle, unguarded, and so achingly human. He pressed a kiss to my hair and whispered, "And I, my little star, love you more than life itself."