To be with you: Beneath your paradise

 Jack

 ~☯~

I'm still buzzing

Her face is imprinted in my mind, a sketch burned into my brain, no matter how many distractions I've tried to drown it out with.

My dorm is alive, the music pulsing, conversations overlapping, and the laughter of strangers filling every crack in the room. None of it matters. None of it touches me.

I'm crouched low on the couch, a glass of wine spinning slow between my fingers. My other hand-steady, deliberate-traces the edges of something small, something soft, something hers. Her keychain.My thumb brushed over it. A small, yellow lemon with a tiny smiley face. Too Cute. It didn't match the girl who'd hurried away from me earlier, her movements all sharp edges and nervous energy. My hand moved almost unconsciously, tracing the edge of the student ID I'd been carrying since the fair. The little lemon dangling off it feels warm now, heated by my grip.The plastic felt smooth and cool under my fingers, but my focus wasn't on that.

It was on her.

Her face, printed on the tiny card, stared back at me. Anastasia. The name tasted familiar now, almost intimate, like I'd been saying it to myself for hours. Her picture didn't do her justice, but it didn't need to. I could still see the way she'd looked earlier-flustered, a little unsure, her cheeks turning pink under my gaze.

"Anastasia," I muttered under my breath, the name a low hum that made something twist in my chest.A smile creeps up my face before I can stop it, stretching across my lips like it owns me.

Anastasia.

The way she looked earlier. The way her voice broke when she muttered, "I'm fine." Her eyes darting away from mine like I was something she didn't know how to touch.

I let out a breath, sinking further into the couch, drowning in the feeling that I don't know how to name.

"Oi," a voice cuts through my thoughts, jolting me back to reality.

I snap my head up, glaring over my shoulder. Cody stands there, his grin wide, smug. His hand lands heavy on my shoulder, and I immediately shoved the ID into my pocket but not before he leans closer, his eyes sharp.

"Whose picture you looking at, huh?" he teases, his voice dripping with mockery.

Scrowlling,I shove him away with more force than necessary before he could see more. "Get lost, Cody."

"Oh, come on," he said, laughing as he plopped down onto the couch next to me. "Someone's caught your eye, haven't they?"

"When did you get here?" I ask, avoiding he's question, my tone sharp, defensive.

"I've been here, man. You were just too busy daydreaming to notice," he said, his eyebrows wiggling like this was the funniest thing he'd seen all week.

I downed the rest of my wine in one gulp and set the glass on the table with a sharp clink. "It's none of your business."

Cody raised his hands in mock surrender, the grin never leaving his face. "Geez, dude. I wasn't gonna ask who it was. Although," he added with a wink, "I think we both know what you were looking at."

"Shut up."

Before I can retort, Jimmie voice cut through the noise, and I turned to see him pulling Cody back by the collar . "Leave him alone, will you?" he says, giving Cody a pointed look before turning to me.

He dropped into the space besides me, his eyes narrowing as he studied my face. "You good, man? You're barely here tonight. None of the girls here catch your eye?"

I pour myself another glass of wine, ignoring the way Jimmie watches me, waiting for an answer. My eyes scan the room briefly, landing on a group of people laughing too loud in the corner. I down the wine in one go before setting the glass on the counter with a heavy thud.

"Why'd you even bring them here?" I mutter, my voice low.

Jimmie grins, unbothered. "The place is huge, Jack. Thought you wouldn't mind."

"Well, I do."

Cody laughed nervously, holding his hands up. "Just let us crash here tonight, man. Promise we'll clean up before we leave."

The music seems louder now, pressing in on me from all sides. I push off the couch, brushing past them without another word.

"Make sure they're gone by the time I wake up," I throw over my shoulder before heading upstairs.