This S.O.B. System

“Can you two not, please?” Joon asked beside them. 

 

Ash and Tiff pulled away from one another staring at her. “What?” They said simultaneously. She frowned and walked away. 

 

“I swear you did something to piss that girl off. Haven’t been in the country a day, but somehow you manage,” Tiff said. 

 

“I’m starting to agree.” Asher said. They were outside the office building from the day before. Tiffany was seeing him off. They hadn’t slept that night, but he still felt great. Riding high from his engagement. 

 

“Love you, wifey,” he said. 

 

“Love you hubby,” she said. Giving him one more long kiss she pulled away. With great effort she got back in the cab and left. Asher let out a long sigh. 

 

Turning back to the group's office building he noticed Joon staring at him. Not angry but sad. She bit her lip as he walked up. “Are you sure I can’t talk you into staying out of this?” She asked. 

 

“I’m pretty sure,” he said. “Can I ask why you don’t want me to come?”

 

She blushed but in answer turned away to head downstairs. He shook his head following her spectacular ass. 

 

The guild hall was abuzz with people. Trying to put on gear, one last trip to the merchant, or stuff down some food as the final plans were set in place. Ash decided to do the same. Donning his gear it fit snugly on him. All the bullet holes had been repaired so well he could almost not see the remnants. With a face cage helm, layered shoulder pauldrons, smooth chestplate, and comfortable leather boots; the Guts’ ensemble felt right. Taking out the sword it was a lot thicker than when he bought it. Ash would guess it was somewhere in the middle of Guts’ transformation. There wasn’t a mark on it even with all the fighting. The edge was as sharp as the day he bought it, some special attribute of System gear. 

 

“Nice armor,” the man from last night said. Jin Chi, was his name. High intellect helped Asher remember names, one of the best uses for it. 

 

“Thanks, you too,” Asher said. Jin wore a sleek black set of armor from head to toe. With a large great sword at his back, Ash wondered if he knew how to use it. 

 

“The reason I wanted to talk is I want to make sure you want to be here. I heard that our rewards should be increased with you attending, but Joon has been pushing me to leave you out,” he admitted. 

 

“Oh yeah? What’s her problem anyway?” Asher asked. 

 

“Joon? She’s very intense, and strong. I’ve never seen someone level so fast as her. Never takes a weekend off. Always fighting and training. She has a sense for good people. Normally I would follow her advice. Yet I am stuck. We need tanks, and the possibility of better rewards has helped sway some minds,” Jin said. “I’m not sure what’s between you two. Do you think you can work together? Not everyone here is so good at English, and her group needs a tank.”

 

“I don’t have a problem with her. Point me where to go, and we can go from there,” Ash said. They shook hands and separated. Asher turned to the merchant, but caught Joon looking at him again. She had a blush on her face as she bit her lip. When she saw him noticing her she turned around to look away. “So cute,” he remarked as he walked to the merchant. He wondered if the shop screen would be in Korean or English. 

 

–

 

The large 40-person group trudged up the rocky hill. They had taken a large bus to the general area. A couple of hours outside of Busan the scenery was nice. Nature all around, it was like he was back home. Asher had learned the names of those around him, they all knew some English, but didn’t speak as well as Joon. 

 

There was Seok, their healer, he was shorter with dyed green hair that made him stick out. Supposedly he did it to make it easier to find him during battle. Instead of a Holymancer like George in Hawk, Seok was a straight Healer System. Instead of using Holy mana, it was nature magic. Much like a Druid System, Ash would have thought he was one, but there was an actual Druid in the raid. Joon made it clear they were very distinct. Where a druid had attacks, the Healer was all heals and nothing fancy. The green haired man wore some simple brown leathers and walked confidently. 

 

Behind him was Jeong, he was surprisingly a Bard. Asher expected him to use some classic Korean instrument, but no, an electric guitar was at his back. With spatial rings he could set up an amp and battery source easily. He was able to start a tune, and while playing he buffed the party. Asher was excited to hear him work. 

 

In the far back was Cho. He wore thick dark red leathers. There was a compound bow at his back, and a large wolf at his side. Supposedly a Hunter System, he was able to tame beasts and shoot arrows expertly. Most of his skills buffed his pet, but he was also silent as they walked through the brush. His eyes always scanning, Asher felt like everyone in Joon’s group was elite. 

 

In front of him stood Joon and Eun. Eun was a little on the heavy side. His System was Gamer, so Ash wasn’t surprised. Much like Joan he had an enormous inventory, but instead of focusing on Arcane Mana he focused on Ice Mana. The air around the guy was a few degrees less than everywhere else. He said Joon made him do it for training. Joon also made all the other Gamer’s promise to not say anything about his System. The cold woman was either helping or hindering. He still hadn’t figured out why. 

 

Then there was Joon. The group had said her System was Portalmancer. Ash could see the respect the members had for her. She had found them soon after their Systems awoke and had been training with them ever since. She was average height, with long black hair. Her muscles were toned, her ass was one of the best Asher had seen. And her tits, it was hard to look away. Ash didn’t feel overly attracted to too many women, but Joon hit all the right buttons. 

 

“How much further Joony?” He asked. She stopped in her tracks. 

 

Turning to look at him slowly she whispered, “don’t call me that.” He gave her a smile and a wink. She let out a long sigh from his reaction. It was a mix of anger and resignation. “It’s up ahead. There's the top of the cliff,” she said pointing. Asher could barely make out a rock formation through the trees ahead. “I’ll run ahead,” she said. A large disc shaped portal opened in front of her. Inside the portal was new scenery. Like a window to a new location She stepped through and the portal was gone. Different from dungeon entrances, this portal was more like one from the game Portal. With a black ring around the elliptical shape to show where it started. 

 

“You in trouble,” Eun said with a smile. 

 

“What?” Asher asked as they started walking again. He really wanted some System item to understand all languages or something, this was getting to be a pain in the ass. 

 

“Joon….she very strong,” Jueng said from behind. “She beat guy up once for what you did.” 

 

“For calling her Joony?” 

 

The 3 other guys nodded. “Good luck,” Cho said as he passed him. Asher laughed and followed. He would stop flirting with women when he was dead. 

 

A cliff face was soon in front of them. Rocky protrusions lined all the way up, perfect for climbing. As he mapped out a way to do so he noticed that they were looking right at the dungeon portal. Situated within a crevasse in the cliff it was like a shadow, but an overly large one. At least 25 feet across and 40 feet high, he had never seen such a large dungeon. 

 

Joon and Jin were already in front of it chatting. As the groups halted near them Jin announced in Korean and Joon translated for him. “A few people entered the dungeon portal in the past. They said the inside is very dark and bleak with a red sun. The temperature is hotter, but the goal of the dungeon is to defeat a boss level monster. The scouts before said they were able to find one, we will check it out. Be careful the other monsters like to group up, but should stay away from us with all the noise we make. We will attack right away. Let’s head in.” 

 

Without much ado Jin walked in. Joon cursed as he did. Once she was back with her group they headed in the large portal as one. Inside Asher felt an intense wave of heat. It had to be at least 100 Fahrenheit. The red glow of the sun above, the sky had dark rainless clouds over it. The rocks around were black, the soil looked like iron sand as it was black as well. His feet didn’t sink much into the soil, but crunching sounds as he walked. It felt like what he imagined Mars was like. 

 

Once everyone was in, the pop-ups came. 

 

RED QUEST ALERT

Defeat a boss level monster before the dungeon breaks

Time Limit: 6:10:52:32

Quest Rewards:

System Coins

Experience

?????

Accept:

MANDATORY

 

CONGRATULATIONS A STAR SYSTEM HAS BEEN FOUND IN YOUR

GROUP. QUEST REWARDS WILL BE INCREASED.

 

Asher had expected these, but not the last one. 

 

WARNING: DUE TO THE PRESENCE OF A STAR SYSTEM

DURING A DUNGEON BREAK. THE DUNGEON WILL BE UNABLE

TO BE EXITED UNTIL BREAKAGE OCCURS OR QUEST IS COMPLETE

 

“Fuuuck,” Asher and Joon said as one. 

 

–

 

After the initial shock wore off they decided to continue. Despite Joon’s cursing and insistence to plan more, Jin was the raid leader. The other 7 groups of 5 people followed his lead. They were soon making their way between the jagged rocks of a canyon toward the boss monster that had been located. 

 

The air was eerily quiet. In the non-trial dungeons Ash had completed there were at least the sounds of birds and other wildlife. Here there was nothing. Hisses would explode somewhere far away, spouting a large geyser of steam. Rocks would tumble from the canyon. Other than that there was the clinking of armor and murmur of the 40 people.

 

“We stay close together,” Joon said in English. “Never stray far.” 

 

“Yes ma’am boss lady,” he whispered back. She grumbled and blushed. With no helm on it was easy to see her reactions. Asher was starting to like them more and more. “You mind telling me about yourself?” He asked as the groups muddled through the bleak landscape. 

 

“Like what?” She hissed. 

 

“Where did you learn English?” 

 

“I uh, learned it from uh, doesn’t matter. Shut up. We are close,” she stammered at last. Walking faster she was soon a little ahead of the group despite her words that they should stay close. 

 

“What is her problem?” He asked. The others shrugged. 

 

Eventually, after no monsters had been encountered they came to a clearing. A halt was called as the 7 group leaders, and the raid leader discussed. Asher simply went down through mentally what he had in his storage ring. 2 spare storage rings. The Null System Necklace. His Max Heal potion. 6 minor potions. Gallons of water bottles. Enough food to last him a long time. Camping gear. Firewood. Flashlight. Some spare armor and 2-hand sword from his first dungeon. A bunch of daggers. Some throwing knives he got after receiving the Thrown Weapon skill. An attack ring for Zora. His phone, keys, and other items. A bunch of clothes for the trip. Some guns. RPGs, some spare ammo for both sets of weapons. Honestly he was surprised everything fit in the 250 cubic foot ring he had received from his first Red Quest. Then he went through his skills. 

 

Name:	Asher Whitmore		Skills:
Alias:	Quinten Hardly		Acting	LVL MAX
System:	PORN STAR		STD Immunity	LVL MAX
Level:	16		Roleplaying	LVL MAX
Experience	17,828/35,000		Genitalia Control	LVL MAX
Title:	Lawful Good (3)		Prop Manifestation	LVL MAX
Guild:	Community		Relationship Screen	LVL 7
Syscos:	2,015		Gardening	LVL 4
			Ahegao	LVL 6
HP:	100	/100 (10)	Slovene Language	LVL 2
MP:	75	/75	Survival	LVL 11
			Tracking	LVL 8
Stats:	0		Brawling	LVL 7
Strength:	34		Policing	LVL 8
Dexterity:	25		Economics	LVL 10
Endurance:	33		Pheromones	LVL MAX
Agility:	25		Battleshout	LVL 7
Wisdom:	25		Intimidation	LVL 7
Intelligence:	25		Powerstrike	LVL 5
Luck:	22		Taste Control	LVL MAX
Charm:	22		Justice	Level 2
			Libido Control	LVL MAX
Custom Stats:			Regal Presence	LVL 7
Dick Length	9 Inches		Eye for Art	LVL 5
Dick Diameter	2 Inches		Battle Instincts	LVL 12
Fertility	Off		Weapon Throw	LVL 9
Pheromones	20		Gun Fighting	LVL 9
Libido	10		Pianist	LVL 14
			Sketching	LVL 8

 

He had been averaging about 700 XP a day with the girls. He had also raised his dick diameter for good. Nice round numbers were the way to go. None of his other skills had leveled, but he was patient. He hoped to get a lot out of this dungeon, despite the dead looking area. 

 

Around then Joon was walking up to the group. She spoke to the other guys in Korean, he understood a few words, like his name, and her name, and other names, but that was it. She locked eyes with him as she started speaking in English. 

 

“Jin will be the main tank. He and his group will engage the boss monster. There is a small alcove in a cave where it is sleeping. We will all take an arc formation in front of the cave spaced apart. There may be adds. This is simply a test for their strength. No heroics. We attack a little, see if anything pops up. We have a timer to quit in 10 minutes. I give the signal and everyone runs out.” 

“What’s the signal?” He asked. 

 

“I have an air horn,” she said, pulling it out of her storage necklace then putting it back in. 

 

“Where do you want me?” He asked. 

 

“With me. At all times. Jin will do the work to start. There may be adds so you keep your eye out for any other monsters that show up,” she said then turned away talking to the others.

Within 20 minutes they were walking into the clearing. A large almost valley, the ground in front of them was level. There were jagged cliffs all around them making a bowl shape. Asher was getting a bad feeling about this. The rocks in front of him spelled something large and big. This boss level monster was much worse than the goblin boss he had beaten months ago. 

 

Jin looked quite imposing in his Main Tank role. With black armor from head to toe, he was dressed for the part. His group also had on classic gear. The healer was in white robes, a rogue like character was in thick leathers, their 2 mages were in thin chainmail robes as well. When the large cave ahead was only 100 feet away Joon called a halt for the 7 groups. Jin’s group kept walking closer.

When they were 50 feet from the cave entrance they stopped. Jin let out a loud yell. The sound reverberated in the bowl like canyon. Then when the sound and echoes faded, a beast’s roar sounded. It sounded like a mix between a bark and a hiss, which was disappointing. He had grown up with the romanticized T-Rex roars from Jurassic Park, so it didn’t sound too terrible. But the force of it made up for the lackluster performance. He could feel it in his bones as the sound traveled to him. People took steps back, others stumbled. It was menacing. 

 

Then the head poked out of the cave. It had a long lizard-like snout that hung suspended in mid-air 20 feet up. Asher gulped. He had left Japan only to be met by a giant lizard. The boom of footfalls sounded as the snake-like head protruded. Without warning it dove at Jin. He raised his overly large tower shield to take the strike. Now mostly outside, Asher saw more of the beast. It was a dragon. A giant wingless dragon. Yellow scales ran along its body. Thick scales clinked with each movement of the beast. Its long legs sat at its side with powerful muscles bulging. The beast was like a tall komodo dragon with exaggerated long limbs. 30 feet tall, it was at least 100 feet long. Half the beast was still inside the cave as its neck stretched to Jin again. 

 

The wingless dragon had done a cursory attack. Simply testing the smaller man. Now it attacked full force. Long front talons scraped at him. With a yell Jin’s team attacked. Fireballs and blue arcane strikes were thrown at the beast’s head. Forcing it to only use its claws to get at Jin. 

 

With its head bombarded, the dragon let out a long hiss. Drawn out extra long, Asher began to look around him, something was coming. “Asher,” Joon said beside him. Pointing to a layer of black sand next to them it began to vibrate. 

 

Asher stepped forward as the long tongue shot out. It was at least a foot in diameter, black, and layered with sand. His Battle Instincts worked wonderfully as his Guts’ Blade took it edge first. The tip of the tongue split in half and was pulled back. The sand raised in a large mound with a slow hiss.

 

What appeared was a much smaller wingless dragon. By small he meant only 15 feet tall and over 50 feet long. With a grunt he closed the distance between the lower head and himself. Summoning shield to his off-hand he was quickly underneath the beast. Slicing at its legs the beast stumbled back. 

 

“Attack,” he bellowed as his shield was struck by the big lizard. Arrows started to fly at its face. A heavy metal tune began from the guitar. His chest filled with strength from the magic of the sound. An ice lance struck the beast’s head before it could attack, forcing it to take another step back toward the main fight. 

 

Asher was feeling confident as they fought. A quick scan around showed that 5 of the other groups were fighting similar big lizards. There was no screaming or yelling that sounded bad, just the normal screams and yells of using skills. The sound of beasts yelping and swords hitting was all he heard. 

 

Another ice lance hit his target. Then the bark/hiss sounded again. His add perked up at the sound, and without warning dove into the black sand. There was silence for a split second as everyone lost their target. Then Joon screamed, “Everyone run.” 

 

It was too late. Asher looked to the big boss as its mouth filled with a red glow. Then lava was spitting out of it covering Jin and his party. They screamed and writhed as the hot liquid burned their armor to their skin. Asher wanted to do something for them, but the lava didn’t stop there. The dragon raised its head and pointed the maw at the other groups. Lava began raining down immediately. 

 

Asher was about to be hit by a thick glob but was saved as a portal opened up between him and it. The black portal took it somewhere else. Asher turned to see Joon with her hands raised behind him. She flashed him a smile as glob hit her in the chest. She screamed and dropped to the ground. Asher ran forward. The lava sizzled, but didn’t go beneath the armor she wore. 

 

Asher could feel the flow of the battle turning. He grabbed her necklace that hung between her breasts. Pulling out the air horn he gave it 3 short blasts. People hesitated then ran. His group looked to him for some reason. “Save her,” he said, turning to the main boss. It was chewing at Jin in his thick armor. Raised in the air Ash could almost hear the crunch as it bit down. 

 

Asher let out his Battleshout. The beast stopped and turned to him. Asher ran forward. As the beast looked at him quizzically he took the arms of Jin’s party one by one. Tossing them over his shoulder he brought his true strength with instantaneous focus. They flew at least 100 feet, closer to the fleeing raid members. 

 

One by one he threw them until only Jin was left. The man’s black armor was burnt mostly off. Deep gouges in the metal he doubted the main tank was alive. Using his Intimidation the dragon took a step back and Asher used the chance to grab Jin and throw him away. The man’s body skidded across the sand, boneless as he tumbled. 

 

Asher didn’t have time to watch him land as his Battle Instincts told him of the danger. He raised his shield just in time to knock back the dragon’s snout. Asher let himself be thrown back a few feet. Walking slowly backwards the lizard appeared to give up on him. Asher was going to make it out of there. Then the beast moved quicker than he imagined. Turning its body back inside the cave it twisted like it was going to go away, but the rest of the body appeared as the tail shot out. 

 

Like a baseball he was hit with the large yellow tail and thrown in the air. Asher thought he heard his name yelled but wasn’t sure as he flew out of the canyon, losing consciousness from the pain and lack of air in his lungs.