This S.O.B. System

“You’ll see,” Doug said. “Just accept your System.”

 

Still shocked by the fact that he lost the arm wrestle match, Asher stood up and took his bean bag seat. Unsure why he was hesitant, he willed the screen to come back into his vision. This time he thought about the screen becoming a little smaller until it was easy enough to read. 

 

Congratulations

You have awoken the PORN STAR SYSTEM

Accept rewards

Y/N

 

Taking in a slow breath, he pushed the ‘Y’ on the screen. Prompting a new screen. 

Rewards:
Acting	LVL MAX
STD Immunity	LVL MAX
Fake ID	x 2
System Coins	x 1,000

 

As soon as Asher read the words the screen disappeared. 2 items materialized and dropped from the air where the screen had been. He picked up one from his lap. It was a white card made out of plastic. 

 

“Is that a…?” Doug asked trailing off. 

Would you care to choose your Alias?

Y/N

 

“Fake ID,” Asher answered. “It’s one of my rewards.” Pushing no for now he put the card in his pocket. The other item resembled a passport book. Clicking ‘N’ on this prompt as well, he stowed it away for later. Another prompt popping up it read:

 

Congratulations

For reaching level 1 you have learned the skill:

ROLEPLAYING (LVL MAX)

 

The screen disappeared as soon as he thought about it. Asher asked, “So is there a Status Screen or-” The words prompted a response, his vision was filled by the new screen. 

Name:	Asher Whitmore		Skills:
Alias:	N/A		Acting	LVL MAX
System:	PORN STAR		STD Immunity	LVL MAX
Level:	1		Roleplaying	LVL MAX
Experience	0/50
Title:	N/A
Guild:	N/A
Syscos:	1,000
HP:	34	/34
MP:	23	/23
Stats:	5
Strength:	12
Dexterity:	10
Endurance:	11
Agility:	8
Wisdom:	7
Intelligence:	8
Luck:	12
Charm:	9
Custom Stats:
N/A	N/A

 

“Well this is weird…I think,” Asher commented. 

 

“Whats that?” Doug asked unable to hide a little excitement in his voice. “What did you get?”

 

Thinking for a long while, Asher really didn’t want to say any of this outloud. The contract was still in his mind, but he had to double-check. “You can’t say anything to anyone about this, right?” After a nod from Doug he added, “And can I add a clause to the contract after it's signed?”

 

“Uhh no, you know how contracts work. What clause are you thinking of?” 

 

“Honestly, I want a clause that you can’t laugh,” Asher sheepishly admitted. 

 

“Then yeah the answer is no. I definitely can’t add a clause,” Doug said with a laugh. Asher didn’t completely believe him, but his friend had been open with him so far. 

 

“So my System is called Porn Star,” Asher confessed. Shyly looking at his friend. There was a long pause before he burst out laughing. A loud guttural laugh. After what felt like 10 minutes he finally finished. 

 

Wiping a tear from his eye, he asked, “You’ve got to be kidding me. Mr. 40 year old virgin. Mr. Goes to church every Sunday. You got a Porn Star System? What the hell kind of stuff do you have to do to get experience for that?” 

 

“I don’t know,” Asher admitted. 

 

“Oh right. You got your stat screen up still? Focus on the ‘Experience’ word under level. Another screen should pop-up.” 

 

Doing so, another screen appeared over the Stat Screen. 

Experience Methods
Masturbate	5+
Oral	15+
Vaginal	30+
Anal	50+
Facial	5+
Creampie	20+
Take Virginity	100+
New Person	1.5x
Threesome	1.5x
Roleplay	1.5x
On Film	2x

 

“Please tell me you have to have sex on camera,” Doug said, his hands clapping in a prayer. 

 

“Among other things,” Asher noted. 

 

“Like what?” Doug asked. 

 

“Jerk off, have sex in a bunch of different ways, do it with new people, and yeah, on camera,” Asher said. His head felt light. 

 

The room was eerily quiet. Just staring at the words, unable to think. His bleary eyes read the Experience Methods over and over until he was knocked out of his thoughts. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!!!” Doug yelled. “This son of a bitch unfair System!”

 

Foots stomping from upstairs, they both froze until the basement door opened. “Keep it quiet, down there,” Doug’s mom yelled. 

 

“Sorry mother,” Doug replied. Now talking in a whisper he focused back on Asher. “You’re telling me that my System makes me set up other people to have sex. And I only get XP if and when they do that. While yours is literally to have sex. Heck you could lock yourself up in your room, masturbate your days away and powerlevel yourself to the top?” 

 

“Apparently,” Asher said. Not feeling as happy as he thought he should feel. He willed the Experience screen away. 

 

“Do you even jerk off?” Doug asked. 

 

“Sometimes,” Asher admitted. Doug looked at him like he was some kind of freak. “You know how my parents are. No sex before marriage. That should be saved for someone you love. All that jazz. It kind of stuck with me. Fuck man, why do you think I work out so much? I feel guilty looking at porn. My mom literally drilled into my head what the people in porn go through. Always felt guilty after that.” 

 

Asher’s father was a local pastor. His mother was a stay at home mom. They had made it clear that there was a time and place for sex. After you were married, and in your own home. Never much for questioning that kind of thing, he had believed them wholeheartedly. It was only recently after his last break-up that he had tried exploring the internet. 

 

“That’s messed up. Your mom ruined porn for you huh?” Doug commented. Both quiet for a time Doug finally said, “Listen dude. I’ve done a lot of research on Systems. Talked in a few chat rooms. All people agree, you do what you need to do to gain levels. The benefits far outweigh the trouble. Also from what I come to understand, our Systems aren’t that normal. Most are like warrior and mage. They’re all extremely limited on how they can get experience. The fact that you can go out and get a hooker, and probably level up, tells me that you need to do some thinking.” 

 

Asher could only nod at his reply. They sat in silence until Doug asked, “So do you want a job?”

 

—-

 

After leaving Doug’s house Asher went to his car. He had declined the prostitute job, but he had hesitated for a moment. Concerned about his own morals being tempted at the thought of becoming stronger, he needed to think about what to do. 

 

-Ring - Ring-

 

His phone going off, he cringed at the amount of missed calls. “Finally, where have you been?” Asher’s mom demanded on the other end of the line. 

 

“Sorry mom, I didn’t feel well. I went home. But I’m feeling a lot better now,” he said. His lie coming easily, his car was already parked at his normal spot for home. If they had tracked his location they would already know he was safe at home.

 

“Are you sure?” She asked from the other line concerned. “Want me to call you in?”

 

Thinking on it for a moment, Asher really needed something to distract his mind right then. “Na, I have a test later. Mind just calling in that I will be late?”

After they said their goodbyes and love yous. He headed to school. It was now getting close to lunch time. Exhausted from all the thinking he had been doing, Asher headed for the cafeteria. The area was empty except for a few lunch ladies. Alone, he reviewed everything he and Doug had discussed, but it was still a shock. 

 

He was a porn star. Literally some higher power thought that of all the people in the world, that was what he was best suited for. Yes he was muscular, and from his research he knew he was well endowed, but it was still a shock. He had believed sex was for marriage. Yet why did it feel sometimes like he was the only one that thought that? 

 

He had dated off and on since he was 13. Asher had barely gone past kissing, and that was usually after weeks of dating. They would spend their time together now and then. As the ‘good guy’ he wouldn’t pressure them. But in all honesty, taking it further terrified him. So they focused on other things. The girl hung out with her friends, and Asher would hang out with his own friends. They would see each other now and then only when it was convenient. It would give him the time and opportunity to know if that girl was the one. More often than not though, he would find something wrong with the girl and end the relationship. 

 

That was until recently anyway. Asher’s last girlfriend had been a whole different experience. He had dated Ellie Gimbal. She was either hot or cold all the time. All over him, or didn’t want to see him. The making out had been good, a fact he would easily admit, but she liked to cause way too much drama. Everything was blown out of proportion. For instance he had looked at one of her friends, and Ellie was convinced he was cheating on her. They would make up, and Asher would be sure to not let his eyes linger on her friends. The next day he would take too long to ask her out on a date. Which obviously meant he hated her and wanted to break up. That reaction alone did make him want to break up with her. 

 

The next day she was sweet as can be. Which caused him to put up with her for longer. Ellie was a local pastor’s daughter, Asher thought they were meant to be together. She had been through the same stuff he had, thus she should act the same. Want the same. Time and time again, she proved to be too unstable. 

 

When he had broken their relationship off a few weeks ago she had been calm and collected. It had been right before winter break. He thought it was amicable. Almost a mutual agreement to be done with each other because of how she acted towards him. He didn’t hear from her all winter break. Then when school started up again at the beginning of the month, that was when the rumors started. The main rumor was that Asher had raper her. 

 

Ellie, an ever vigilant gossip monger had spent her winter break bad mouthing him to everyone that would listen. That turned out to be a lot of people. Asher was known as the pastor’s son, and Ellie a pastor’s daughter. Seems that a bunch of people were invested in their relationship behind the scenes. So when she had started rumors that he had pushed himself on her and broke up with her when she wouldn’t put out, it had quickly escalated. The newest rumor was that she was pregnant and Ash denied anything happening. 

 

It got so bad that someone had told Asher’s parents about the rumors. They had confronted him, and believed him, but still the damage was done. He was officially undateable, and after his last experience he was happy about that. The System was throwing a wrench in his plans though. 

 

What should I do, he thought for the thousandth time since leaving Doug’s house. 

 

The bell ringing announced the start of his lunch period. Hundreds of kids began pushing their way through the halls. After getting his own lunch, Asher sat down with a sigh. Soon in his new friends would fill the table. 

 

Many of Asher’s old wrestling friends had taken Ellie’s side in the breakup since they dated Ellie’s friends. Asher was quickly kicked out of their group. 

 

“Heyyo Ash,” Dave said as he sat down. “Thought you were out today.” Typically the guys called him Ash, but for once they didn’t do a Pokemon joke. It usually entailed something like, ‘catch anything today?’ 

 

“Eh felt a little sick, but I’m better now. I miss much in Biology?” Asher asked as their table began to fill up. These were all once Doug’s friends. Gamers and nerds alike. They had accepted Asher as one of their own when the whole school turned on him. A constant discussion about this anime or that game happened around the table. Asher interjected when he could, made notes of new stuff to watch, and generally enjoyed his lunch period. 

 

This was all a great distraction until Ellie Gimbal walked by. With her lunch in hand they locked eyes for a moment. He gave her a slight nod. An acknowledgement that he saw her and he still had no hard feelings towards her. She proceeded to flip him off. 

 

Anger flared in Asher with the gesture. He picked up the rest of his food and threw it away. No longer hungry, he was feeling so much rage at the moment that he needed to cool down. As he walked by Ellie’s table with his old friends they just so happened to laugh. More anger rising up in him he walked on autopilot until he was standing in front of a restroom mirror. 

 

His mind reeling with thoughts of his past relationships, his own attitude toward women in general, it all clicked. He had put sex on some sort of pedestal. Marriage and sex were something his parents always linked together. They were this goal that he strived for but only with the right person. This one in a billion person, his soul mate. Then why was he the only one not going for it? He was horny, he had a deep lust that he had suppressed for a long time. 

 

Asher literally had some kind of other worldly magical system that told him what he should be doing with his life. He should be having sex, and lots of it. If it wanted him to become a porn star, then he would become the best damn porn star there ever was.