This S.O.B. System

“Hey babe, how you doing?” Asher asked as he came up behind her. 

 

His pink and blue haired beauty leaned against him. “Ok. Just a little nervous,” she said. 

 

“You don’t have to go, you know,” he said. 

 

“And neither do you,” she retorted. “But I’ve been doing this for 3 years, and I always wondered what was on the other side of these things.”

 

“Another world,” he said after thinking about it. 

“What about you? I know your last foray didn’t go so well,” she said. Her head resting on his shoulder she stared up at him. 

 

“Honestly, I’m fine,” he said. Quinten had been in control during the worst of it. His Roleplay felt like a split personality sometimes. A personality he controlled, and overwrote with his own. 

 

“Let’s just play it by ear then,” she said. “Think you have enough in your stora-”

 

Her dad cut her off, “Our Fortuneteller has divined that Raul and Penny are inside. This dungeon is not restricted from raid groups, so we are going to plan to enter as one. If anyone wants to back out now, here's your chance.” Asher had already told his folks he was going to stay at Doug’s so he should be good if this took a little long. They reluctantly agreed to rescheduling a real dinner with Tiff.

 

When no one raised their hand Wayne said aloud, “Group 1. Up front.” 

 

“Good luck,” Tiffany said, turning to him and giving him a kiss on the cheek.

 

“See you on the other side,” he said. 

 

Part of group 1, Asher, Joan, McKenzie, George, and Abby lined up. Asher thought some speech was going to take place, but Abby just walked in like it was no big deal. The group of 5 looked at one another and followed. 

 

Once through the portal they came into a large white room. Abbie in front, they turned to watch another group come through the portal. Once all 3 groups came inside they waited impatiently. No distinguishing marks on the white walls. Everyone looked to Wayne for an answer. As he opened his mouth to speak the messages came in. 

THANK YOU FOR PARTICIPATING IN THE TRIAL OF CRUSADERS

Current Challengers: 22/50

Time Limit: N/A

Quest Rewards:

Dungeon Ownership

?????

 

RED QUEST ALERT UPDATE

Assist in the subjugation

of Raul Luis. He is currently challenging the Trial of Crusaders.

Time Limit: Before Trial is Beat

Quest Rewards:

Experience Points

Syscos

Random Gear

 

“Well that's not good,” Asher said to himself. 

 

“Are you going as you or Quinten for this?” Joan asked as people began to murmur. 

 

“I was planning myself,” he admitted. Asher guessed she didn’t want to lead the group. He felt a little bad, but he was hesitant at the moment. “If it turns bad, I will later,” he promised. “Just tell me what to do for now.”

DUE TO THE NATURE OF THIS DUNGEON YOUR RAIS WILL BE

DISBANDED

 

“Shit,” he said. Did that mean this was a solo dungeon?

 

Time Dilation in Effect

 

Well that’s really not good, he thought. That usually implied something would take longer than normal. 

 

CONGRATULATIONS. A STAR SYSTEM HAS BEEN FOUND IN YOUR

GROUP. QUEST REWARDS WILL BE INCREASED.

 

This was the second time he had seen this referenced. He didn’t have time to question it before the worst popup came. 

 

CONGRATULATIONS AS A STAR SYSTEM USER YOU HAVE BEEN

SELECTED FOR THE ADVANCED TRIAL

TRIAL OF THE CHAMPION

 

“Double fuck,” Asher said. 

 

“Ash!” Joan yelled, pointing down to his feet. Below his shoes a black portal formed. 

 

“Triple fuck,” he said as he fell into the portal. 

 

—

 

Asher woke up to his system screen. 

 

Congratulations

You have been selected for Trial of the Champion.

Rewards decided after completion of trial.

 

As he willed the screen away he slowly got up with a groan. No one around him, he was fairly certain he wouldn’t find anyone else from the raid group. Checking his body his gear looked fine and all there. His HP was fine, and nothing was missing. My dick? Still there, he confirmed.  

 

After checking himself out he looked around. He was in the middle of a dirt road. Homes on either side resembled mid-1800s style. Made of wood it reminded him of a ghost town he had visited once. Only there were no people. Walking toward what he assumed was the center of town he eventually saw a crowd of people straight ahead. 

 

Cautiously he walked closer toward them. They wore clothes that resembled Amish wear. Black wide hats, dresses with aprons, children in buttoned shirts and suspenders. The only odd thing was that they had green skin. To him they looked like Namekians. Only they didn’t have pointy ears or antennae. Just wide foreheads. 

 

“The System has spoken,” a man said at the front of the group. Asher slowly made his way through the crowd. Unafraid of the 5 foot tall people, he towered over them. People let him through without protest. Some gave him a look, but none said anything. “Our town will once again be put on by the Calamity unless the sacrifice is made.” The speaker was a chubbier man. Green skin, and blue neckbeard, Asher already didn’t like him. 

 

“What are you talking about?” Asher said. This drew all eyes to him. He assumed this was part of the trial. He wouldn’t get out of there until he was done. 

 

“Traveler,” the orator said from the front of the crowd. “This matter does not concern you.” 

 

“I believe it does,” he said. “I have been chosen to be the Champion Trial.” 

 

A few gasps sounded around him. Whispers broke out from the people. He really hated not having all the information, but that was a daily occurrence with the System. 

 

“Is this true?” The talkative man asked. Then Asher received more messages. 

 

THE TOWN OF ESSOT IS FACING A CALAMITY

Monsters will rise from the pit every 1 hour.

Each 1 hour the quantity of monsters will double.

Time Limit: 24 hours

CALAMITY AVOIDANCE

Sacrifice 1 of the chosen villagers

ACCEPT?

Y/N

 

Asher clicked the ‘N’ immediately.

 

YOU HAVE ACCEPTED THE ROLE OF CHAMPION

REWARDS WILL BE CALCULATED AFTER TRIAL

 

“Now, who are these ‘chosen’?” He asked as he walked up to the raised platform. Once he was on top he noticed a large well like pit behind it. At least 20’ across the pit was pitchblack. The depth was impossible to tell, so he decided to stay away from it. 

 

“The Champion curses us,” the loud buffoon yelled beside him. “Sacrifice one,” he ordered. Grabbing ahold of a small girl beside him he began to move her toward the pit. Asher didn’t hesitate. He moved quickly. Grabbing the man’s arm he accidentally broke it as he picked him up. His grasp left the small girl and she ran to a small boy near them. 

 

“Tthat’s not very nice. How would you like it if I sacrificed you?” Asher said. 

 

“Pah. You know nothing. Only a chosen can be sacrificed to appease the System. See! They have been marked,” he said pointing to the 2 kids. The only outward difference Asher noticed were 2 red marks on their foreheads. A circle with a dash through it, he wasn’t sure what to say. “Still, I have been chosen as champion.” Setting the man down Asher was surprised as his broken arm straightened. Appearing to heal he felt less bad about hurting him. “Now, we only have to last for 24 hours. With all of us working together this shouldn’t be a problem.” Looking to the crowd his heart sank. 

 

“We will not be part of this blasphemy,” the speaker said angrily. “The System has spoken. When you fall, one of those Chosen will die.” 

 

Before Asher knew it the only people left out in the open were him and the 2 kids. “Well that was weird,” he said looking at the 2 kids. “Anyone want some candy?” He asked. Taking some gumballs from his ring he reached out to the kids. They were a little shy at first, but soon the small boy jumped over and took the handful. He began to chew all of them at once. 

 

“Hey you little shit, share with your sister,” he ordered. He assumed they were siblings, they looked too much alike. One had long hair, the other short, and that was the only difference he could see. He worried it made him speciesist if he couldn’t distinguish these people. The small boy didn’t say anything and turned away. Ash sighed and handed the girl a couple of big gumballs. 

 

“Thank you, sir,” she said as she munched tentatively on a side of the ball. 

 

“No problem,” he said with a smile. Looking toward the pit he got a bout of vertigo and had to turn away. “Where do these monsters come from?” He asked. 

 

“The pit,” she said pointing back. 

“Of course,” Asher said. “So what are your names?” He asked. “I’m…” he stopped for a second. Thinking hard, he knew he needed all the help he could get. With a sigh he let it happen. 

 

Roleplay Skill Activating

 

“I’m Quinten,” he said. His confident role taking over, Quin straightened his back a little bit. His shoulders stiff he began to bounce up and down, getting used to the heavier armor. 

 

“I’m Staza, that’s my brother Chepik,” she said. The brother had trouble speaking as he chewed a large wad of gum. 

 

Quinten was about to laugh at his misfortune but he was knocked down. Thrown forward he fell off the platform. Doing a roll Quin was soon back on his feet. Willing his weapon in hand he held the large blade with ease. Facing the danger it was a thin black monster. It’s limbs stretched out longer than natural like a spiders. It was vaguely humanoid, but it’s face was the shape of a dogs in that it was long, and had pointed ears. Featureless, the monster was the stuff of nightmares, if it wasn’t 4 foot tall anyway.

Staza screamed as the monster turned to her. Quinten, with a yell, drew it’s attention with Intimidation. The thing jumped at him, and with Guts’ sword he bisected the monster in a smooth motion. 

 

“1 down,” Quinten said with a smile. 

 

—

 

Tiffany Tyler held onto Carl with both arms. In his bat suit he was heavier than she assumed. As they flew over yet another trap she dropped him from high above and turned around. She had already moved 5 other people, and her mana was getting low. The work would have taken forever without her and Amanda’s quest reward. 

 

Congratulations

Your skill has leveled up.

Flying (Level 5)

 

The notification popped in her vision. She really didn’t know how people let the System messages accumulate, it drove her crazy. She needed the screens gone as soon as possible. Looking down there was a large pit. Lava underneath her she wondered where it came from. 

They had been in the Trial of Crusaders for over 3 hours now. So far it had been a maze. High walls, Amanda and her were unable to go all the way up with their flight skill, not yet anyway. When the raid had been disbanded they were able to stick together. Group by group they made it through one obstacle after another. From roaming monsters to spikes in the walls they hadn’t had a single casualty. A few close calls maybe, but so far they worked together. The interesting part was after each obstacle she gained experience. She hadn’t gotten so much since she had sex with Asher for the first time. Picking up one of the last people she turned around and flew over the obstacle again. 

 

The thought of him made her start daydreaming again. He made her feel special. Tiffany got all the warm fuzzies in her stomach and nethers with the thought of the young hunk. He had the perfect body, and his dick, noice. With a smile she didn’t want to think of the fact that he had been sucked away. Taken by the dungeon she had watched it happen. Soon enough the door for the maze opened and they were in too much of a hurry to worry about him. 

 

Once she set her last person down she checked her mana. Pulling a water bottle out of her spatial necklace she began to drink. The necklace had been his first true gift to her. 50 Syscos wasn’t cheap. It took her weeks to get that much. Whatever his bank looked like she would have to repay him later.

“Ok people,” Abby announced. Her armor was scuffed, and there was dirt on her arms, but she looked fine other than that. “There's a big lizard the size of a school bus up there. We are gonna need to form into ranks and…” 

 

—

 

Quinten breathed in gulps of air. He had been doing this for 5 hours now. After finishing up killing the 16th monster he wiped the blood off his blade. Sweat in his eyes he lifted up the helmet cage in front of his face. The Guts helmet had sure looked cool, but it was uncomfortable. Used to padding in football gear, the direct skin to metal was causing chafing, especially as he began to sweat.

He was glad he had bought it though. He wouldn’t have had a chance without it. Now he just had- Don’t think about it, he ordered himself. With a grunt he sat down at the large rock next to the platform. The rock behind him, the pit next to him, he replayed the fight through his head to make sure he had killed all 16.

 

“You’re wasting your time,” the hateful man yelled at him. The yeller was safe in a large building. Quin assumed it was a tavern. Many people stared at him through the windows, but he gave them no mind. Flipping the guy off Asher took out a water bottle and began to chug. 

 

“He’s right, you know,” Staza said, coming up from behind him. 

 

“Why are you still here?” Asher said angrily. “They want to kill you. Just run.” 

 

“We can’t. It is our way,” she said sadly.

“Killing kids is not in people’s way,” he said sarcastically. 

 

“It is,” she said angrily. “Since the time long ago. Every birth in our people is made of twins. And when twins come of age a Calamity comes. If one is not sacrificed, the monsters rise up and kill everyone.”

 

Quinten hadn’t heard that part of the story. “Doesn’t matter,” he said. “Maybe if you all fought you could beat it, but they’re all a bunch of COWARDS,” he yelled at the tavern. 

 

“You’re funny,” she said. 

“And your people are messed up. I mean who builds a town next to a pit that spits out monsters?” He asked. 

 

“When we don’t have the Calamity our skies are blue, and ground is full of grass,” she said. “The pit brings great nourishment to the land.” 

Quinten looked around, the area was dead. The sky was a blood red, the ground was dirt, the air stank like death. It was not a good place. Angry, he pulled out his phone and set an alarm for 40 minutes. “I need a nap. Shake me if anyone approaches.” 

 

—

 

59, he counted as he sliced another in half. The small spindly monsters had been nice enough to come one at a time, but Quin was beginning to slow down. He had started having to fight 3 at once. This time they almost overran him, but he let out a roar and Powerstriked through 5 in one blow. 

 

Another of the beasts latched onto his face. Screeching, it tried to claw at his armored back. With a roar he threw it back into the pit. He wasn’t sure if it killed them, but so far he had received experience for the basket throws. 

 

4 to go, Quinten turned to find them facing him. They leapt at him all at once. Their bodies were small, but they were stronger than they looked. He took a step backwards towards the pit, but gritting his teeth he raised his arms up and slammed them down. The 4 crushed into the wood of the platform. They yelped as his boots stomped into their heads one by one. Black goo splattered out from their ruined skulls. 

 

Quinten breathed in heavy breaths. 16,777,088 to go, he thought before he could stop himself. His mind stats from the Lex Roleplay made the math easy. Lifting the face guard up he chugged more water. Shoving jerky in his mouth he had to replenish calories. Mechanically chewing he looked at his status screen. He had leveled up twice. Each kill netted him 85 XP. He had received a new skill at level 11.

 

Taste Control (LVL MAX)

You know she fakes that it tastes good. Now she doesn't have to.

 

He had hoped for something more useful in this hell, but he swore to have Tiffany try it when he got out. Washing down food with more water he looked at his screen. Each level up had restored his HP and MP, but he was now a while from another level. He had focused his stats on the physical, and since he really needed luck right then he had raised it. 

 

Name:	Asher Whitmore		Skills:
Alias:	Quinten Hardly		Acting	LVL MAX
System:	PORN STAR		STD Immunity	LVL MAX
Level:	12		Roleplaying	LVL MAX
Experience	1,028/15,000		Genitalia Control	LVL MAX
Title:	N/A		Prop Manifestation	LVL MAX
Guild:	N/A		Relationship Screen	LVL 6
Syscos:	1,090		Gardening	LVL 4
			Ahegao	LVL 5
HP:	58	/66	Slovene Language	LVL 2
MP:	75	/75	Survival	LVL 10
			Tracking	LVL 8
Stats:	0		Brawling	LVL 7
Strength:	22		Policing	LVL 8
Dexterity:	20		Economics	LVL 10
Endurance:	22		Pheromones	LVL MAX
Agility:	20		Battleshout	LVL 7
Wisdom:	25		Intimidation	LVL 5
Intelligence:	25		Powerstrike	LVL 4
Luck:	17		Taste Control	LVL MAX
Charm:	17
Custom Stats:
Dick Length	8.85 Inches
Dick Diameter	1.85 Inches
Fertility	Off
Pheromones	20

 

Powerstrike, Intimidation, Battleshout, and Brawling had all raised in levels as well. Since most of his skills were max level he now received notifications when they leveled. Sitting down at his rock he almost went down for another nap when he heard the yelling. At the other side of the pit Chepik pulled Staza toward the pit. 

 

Rage building inside him, Quinten was on the opposite side when they were a stride away from the pit. “Let go,” Asher ordered, grabbing the girl. His size was much larger than the green faced kid. He gave up quickly. 

 

“Why?” Chepik asked. “If she dies, I live,” he said. Pointing at his sister like she wasn’t a being that mattered. Quin growled as he put his face into the other boys. 

 

“So you become like those monsters?” He barked. “You live? But how do you live with yourself?” He asked. 

 

“Like those people!” Chepik shouted, pointing to a few people leaning outside their homes. “Every one of them was chosen to live while their sibling died. Why must a Champion show up for my day? I have lived in fear of this day for years, and yet you extend it. At this point I might as well just walk in.” The boy looked to the deep black pit. He took a tiny step closer to it. Quinten gave him a little shove. The boy scrambled back, yelping. 

 

Quinten let out a bark of a laugh. “That’s why you don’t do it kid. Cus its better to be outside that pit than in.” With that he picked them both up and threw them on his shoulders. Walking around he soon sat at his rock passing candy between them. He enjoyed the shy look on their faces. 

 

“You doom us Challenger,” the speaker yelled again. He was a broken record at this point. “The System says 1 must die. Yet you doom the whole village.”

 

“And you’ll do the same to your own children when it's their turn?” Quinten yelled. 

 

“They are my children,” the man said, causing Quin to choke. 

 

Looking to the kids then the man he realized the truth of it. They didn’t look at the man, but stared at their feet. “You are no father,” Quinten said. 

 

“Better one lives than both die,” the man said. With that Quinten closed his eyes.