This S.O.B. System

Turns out Doug had been getting the flyers as well. It was a gaudy decorative postcard like letter. The only clue that it was probably the correct one was it mentioned System about 30 times in a few paragraphs. After telling Doug his story they both agreed to go to the meeting on Sunday. 

Asher went to church with his parents for the early service that day. It was a simple sermon, and after that he was left to his own devices. Amanda being a cop and almost catching him had spooked him immensely. If Doug’s Pimp System skill didn’t catch her, Asher didn’t feel confident to do the work anymore. He needed to up his game with the girls at school. 

 

To pass the time Asher worked out and watched some anime. Before he knew it it was almost 5. Doug showed up and they took Asher’s truck to the church across town. An older brick building, he was surprised by how full the parking lot was. Curious if all the people there had Systems the 2 friends went inside slowly. 

 

What they were met with were a few dozen people sitting in the church basement. On folding chairs they talked with one another loudly. Some laughing, some whispering, some telling stories with their hands. It all looked so normal. Unsure if he was in the right place the duo took seats at the back and watched the people. 

 

He didn’t recognize anyone there, which was a plus. With all the surprises he had lately, Asher half expected his parents to be there. But there were a few odd things that caught his eye. One smaller girl wearing glasses held a magic staff in hand. The 6’ tall wood staff towered over her. Another chubby guy had a sword and shield strapped to his back. One girl had black circular metal divets under her chin. They were silver, and reminded him of the suits in Gantz. 

 

“Oh, I bet she has a Saiyan System,” Doug said, pointing at a girl a few rows in front of them. She had black hair cut short that was spiked similar to the alien warriors from Dragon Ball Z. To both of their surprise she turned around, looked them in the eyes, and mouthed the words ‘I do’.

 

When she turned back around Doug said, “Oh my god. Every fucker on the street has some powerful System, and look what I’m stuck with.” 

“Careful what you say. Pretty sure all these people are higher level than us,” Asher said. He was very uncomfortable by the fact that the Saiyan girl heard them. 

 

“Alright, everybody that's enough,” a loud voice said over a microphone. He was a tall man. His hair was gray and in a crew cut. He had the look of military about him. Something Asher’s Policing skill told him. Those gathered around began to fill the seats. 

 

“This is our 4th meeting of the year. For those of you who don’t know, we meet every Sunday here at the church. Mrs. Egan runs the church grounds and lets us use it. She also set up the chairs and brought the coffee today, so be sure to thank her.” A small ancient looking woman waved near the front of the seated crowd. A few people voiced thanks or clapped. 

 

“Now first off, introductions. I am Wayne Tyler. I am the local System Administrator. I receive experience from bringing you all together. If you tell me your System capabilities, and I know of issues that arise, I am allowed to issue quests and rewards depending on the needs in the area. I know online says to keep this stuff secret, but I am not asking for all of your secrets. If you feel comfortable sharing, then please come find me after the meeting. Next to me is my daughter Tiffany Tyler.” 

 

He pointed to a girl sitting in a chair behind him. She was easily the most unique and beautiful woman in the building. Her hair was robin’s egg blue on one side and bubble gum pink on the other. Cut short to just below her chin and straight, for some reason it looked natural on her. Her face and cheeks were smooth and full, like a dolls. She wore a black loli dress reminiscent of many anime Ash had watched. Staring at her his face began to heat up with desire. His eyes locked onto her, for a moment her eyes met his and lingered. His breath caught, Asher was the one that had to break the contact. Not sure what he was feeling towards her, he put it aside as the man continued to talk. 

 

“Amanda Neil,” he said pointing at the female cop from the day before. She wore her glasses, and her hair was still curly. 

 

“And Carl Newman.” Asher was pretty sure that was Batman. His muscles were not as big as he guessed. The suit must add to the muscle mass. The large black man still had an imposing figure. With a shaved head and hard eyes he nodded to a few people from the crowd.

 

“They are willing to assist those of you that are new. They can walk you through our standard procedures. Where you can do what. I’m sure all of you new people have plenty of questions. Like what are System Coins, what is normal, what isn’t normal, where should I put my stats? And in all honesty, we don’t have all the answers. We have some. The rest is speculation. The System has deemed us worthy of this gift, and I am sure all of you can agree that it is worth the headache.” 

With that he walked to a board behind him. Asher’s eyes were brought back to Tiffany Tyler as the meeting continued. They locked eyes once more. Drawn to her beauty, he didn’t look away this time. With a wink she turned back to her father as he talked. “Now, is there anyone that needs help with quests?”

 

—

 

When the meeting was over Asher felt a little better about the whole thing. It really did feel like a group trying to help one another. There hadn’t been many quests going on, but apparently there were plenty of dungeons in the area. A dungeon was just like in fanfic, a portal to another world. Oftentimes System Users that found them were given quests to conquer them. If people were interested then they would find a group and complete the dungeon. Otherwise they would sell the information to other groups at the meeting. Of course the quests typically entailed killing monsters or collecting materials. Asher still wasn’t quite sure how much to believe about monsters, but he did want to check out a dungeon when he could. 

 

One person with an Engineer system was required to make a type of energy crystal but needed a certain drop from a dungeon. One of those groups offered to keep their eye out. Then another person with a Cleric System said she was required to heal 3 people from as close to death as possible. A local administrator said she worked at the local hospital and could get her in. 

 

It was all very civilized and by the end of the meeting he was glad he had come. “Oh my god, I’d recognize those hips anywhere. That’s the Succubus System girl,” Doug said. “I’ll see yah,” he said, rushing over to her. She was tall with long blonde hair, and white creamy skin. The supposed succubus didn’t have wings or a tail, but he took his friend’s word for it. 

 

“Hey,” someone whispered behind his ear. With a jump Asher turned to see the pink and blue haired beauty. “Why were you staring at me?” She asked, her face dimpled with a grin. 

 

Catching himself, Asher instinctually raised his pheromones to 25. “I thought you were looking at me,” he said innocently. “Asher Whitmore,” he said, standing and shaking her hand. 

 

“Tiff,” she said with a cute smile. Taking his hand like some girl at a ball he brought it to his lips and kissed it. “Boy, you know how to treat a lady. Take her out for a drink first.” 

 

“Ok, when?” He asked. His best smile on, he still didn’t let go of her hand. They stared into one another’s eyes for a little while. The heat rising in his collar, Asher could get lost in the beauty of her. 

 

“Careful, or my daddy dearest will get angry,” she said looking at the Administrator across the room. 

 

“Oh, but I’m a perfect gentleman,” he said. “I was hoping you might show me around though. He said you could help with that.” 

 

She nodded and explained, “Yep. But it’s not free, it costs 5 Syscos. 

REQUEST

Tiffany Tyler requests to be paid.

SYSCOS x 5

Y/N

 

“Why’s that?” He asked, more out of curiosity than anything. 

 

“More to show you cool stuff like this. Bet you didn’t know you could request trades huh?” He shook his head. “Also to make it worth our time. The 4 of us help my dad when we can, but we aren’t a charity.” She began to walk away, Asher followed. 

 

“Well for your services, make it 50,” he said confidently. 

 

“Big spender,” she said. 

 

“I just happen to think your time is worth more,” he said smoothly. Next to her he really wanted to hold her hand, but he was happy just to be close. Her black lace dress swayed as they walked side by side. He clicked ‘N’ on the screen. “How do I initiate a request? Does it go both ways?”

 

“Just think real hard about it,” she said.

Asher did so. It wasn’t long till she pushed an invisible button in front of her, and 50 SYSCOS disappeared from his status screen. “Cool,” he said, amazed. 

 

“You’ll regret that,” she said with a smile. 

 

“I doubt it. Now please get on with your tour,” he said. 

 

“Ok, first off is here, the quest board,” Tiffany said. On the wall were plastered different requests for items or help. “This is mounted here most all the time. In fact a lot of bored System people usually hang out here when they aren’t doing anything. You can post requests for most anything. People work in favors, materials, dollars, or Syscos.” Asher read through some of the rewards, they appeared cheap at 1-20 Syscos. “Mrs. Egan lives here, and doesn’t have a problem letting people in.”

 

“Does she have a System?” He asked. 

 

“Everyone here does. And before you ask, no it’s not impolite to ask the name of it. Most people don’t care about that. Heck one guy has a Teacher System. We don’t go and advertise it out of the group though. There are groups like this all over the country, and each one is managed differently.” Her voice was sweet as she spoke. It was like a soft tune to his ears. He could listen to her talk all day.

 

“How long have you been doing this?” He asked. 

 

“3 years,” she said. “My dad has been doing it for 6.”

 

“How do you keep track of everyone?”

“With her,” Tiff said, bringing him to another girl. She was skinny, a little older than him. 

 

“Hi, I’m Penelope Dalton, but everyone calls me Penny. I have the Reporter System. So as you might guess, I get experience for reporting things. I manage a website for our group. Post some quests online, that sort of thing. I also try to keep track of the members,” she had a lot of energy. Her words practically fell out of her mouth as soon as they could. “So how about it Mr. New Guy. Mind if I take your pic and ask a few questions?”

 

Asher was about to answer when he felt a searing pain at the back of his head. His hand going to his neck he turned around to face the danger. What he found was a very upset Mexican man. He was short, and thin with wiry muscles. A few feet back he looked angrily at Asher. Then with a glare he turned and left the basement. 

 

“Who the hell was that?” Asher asked. 

 

“Raul,” Penny said. “I went on a date with him once, but he gave me the creeps. What did he do to you?”

 

“I don’t know,” he said. “Is that normal? For people to use powers on one another?”

 

“Not really. I mean accidents happen, but that seemed intentional. Here let me see,” Tiffany said. He bent down to show her. “Jeez, looks like a burn,” she said. “George, think you can throw a heal this way?”

 

With a cooling feeling Asher felt the heal before he understood what was happening. Pulling his status screen up he watched as his HP went up from 48 to max at 49. “Now that is cool,” Asher said. “Think we should say something about that guy?” 

 

“I’ll talk to my father later,” Tiff said. “Still have to give you your money’s worth.”

 

After an awkward laugh Asher turned back to Penelope. “In answer to your question. This is my first time here. Give me a week to wrap my head around things. After that I don’t mind answering questions.” 

 

“I’ll hold you to that,” she said with a smile. 

 

“My buddy over there is new too,” he said pointing to Doug. “Talk to him while you’re at it.” Penny nodded and headed off to where Doug was. He was still conversing with the succubus girl and a tall man next to her. 

 

“What’s next on our tour?” Asher asked.

“Oh, the most important part of course,” Tiffany said. Taking his arm in her own, she dragged him away. Happy with the closeness Asher let her lead. “This is Anthony Prescott, one of the local merchants.” She brought Ash to a larger man. With white hair and beard and wide belly, Asher was reminded of Santa. “He also gives me a cut if I bring new people to him first,” Tiffany whispered. 

 

“Well hello,” the jolly man said. “You must be new.”

 

“I am,” Asher said, mirroring his attitude. “What does a merchant do?” 

 

“I-”

 

“He has access to the System Store,” Tiffany interrupted excitedly. “If you have Syscos, he can get you System specific items. From magic swords to potions, even storage items.” 

 

Asher and Anthony looked at her then each other. “Exactly,” the merchant said. 

 

“Can you show me?” He asked excitedly.

 

“Of course, if you’ve got coin to spend.” With that a screen filled Asher’s vision. It was everything he had dreamed. 

 

SYSTEM STORE

Food

Armor

Weapons

Storage Items

Potions

Ingredients

Currency

Pets

Maps

Spells

Scrolls

Recipes

Auction

Miscellaneous

 

“It’s everything I’ve always dreamed,” Asher whispered as he sorted through it. 

“Oh send one my way too,” Tiffany said beside him. Soon they were both immersed in the screen. “Finally,” she said. Clicking a few buttons a white light appeared around her neck. When the light faded a necklace sat there. It was black and gothic, matching her outfit. “I’ve been saving for this storage necklace for ages.”

 

Asher backed out of the weapon screen until he was in the storage items. Everything was sorted by cost, so Asher scrolled down until he saw it. 

 

Black Guardian Storage Necklace
Cost	x200 Syscos
Capacity	100 cubic feet

 

“I need one,” Asher said. Scrolling down further he found 2 he liked. “Ring or earring?” He asked Tiffany. 

 

“Hmm,” she said as her eyes looked him up and down. “Ring,” she said. 

 

Merchant's Storage Ring
Cost	x250 Syscos
Capacity	100 cubic feet
Enchants	Freshness

 

The white light appeared on his finger and when it was gone he was left with a gold ring on his right hand’s ring finger. “Jeez that cost 250 Syscos, how many do you freaking have?” Tiffany asked beside him. Asher didn’t feel like this was a whole lot. These items were definitely worth the effort he had put in. 

 

“I assume the freshness enchant means what I think it does,” Asher said. 

 

“Yes sir. Anything you put in will stay fresh. Indefinitely for all we know,” Anthony said. “Would you care for anything else?” 

 

“I just got started looking,” Asher said as he began pouring over the screen. Both seemed shocked that he wanted to keep looking. In the end he settled on 2 more items. There were some Identification glasses that he wanted but they cost another 200 Syscos, and he wasn’t convinced he wouldn’t get a skill for that later. 

 

Identification Scroll
Cost	x10 Syscos
Level	Epic
Max Heal Potion
Cost	x200 Syscos
Health	Full

“I’ve never seen one of these in person before,” Anthony said, amazed at the potion in Asher’s hand. 

 

“Well the description said it would literally save you from anything but death. Felt like it was worth more than most everything. So how much do I owe you?” Asher asked. He thought about the potion going into his new storage ring and it did. The Scroll had been bought on a whim. He remembered a fanfic where those became important.

 

“Oh the System takes care of that. I keep 5% of all transactions,” he said. 

 

Tiff beside him, “And my cut?” With a nod Tiffany pressed Y on an invisible screen and put a smile on her face. “I’m not poor anymore. Yay.”

 

As they said their goodbyes he asked, “So the 50 I gave you got you the necklace?” A little happy that he had helped her.

She stopped and gave him a side eye. “Perhaps,” she said mysteriously. Her hand dropped from the necklace. He thought she was caressing it a little. He wondered how long she had been saving for it. “Why?” 

 

“Oh, just curious. A beautiful woman like you deserves jewelry,” he said. 

A blush on her face she looked away as she asked. “How many Syscos do you freaking have? Took me months to get this much.” 

 

“I don’t know. Not too many. I mean all I spent was from quests I’ve done.” 

 

“How many have you done?”

 

“2.”

 

“2?! What kind of life and death quest did you have to do?” She asked incredulously. 

 

“What do you mean?” He asked. 

 

“How long have you had your System again?” She asked. 

 

“Almost 2 weeks,” he said. 

 

“Well you’re still new, but generally quests give you 10-20 Syscos. I heard of someone getting a 50 Sysco reward, but that was almost after they died,” she said. 

 

“Jeez. I had no idea. They didn’t seem too bad at the time. One I did get my HP down to 12, but I didn’t think I was gonna die,” he said amazed. 

 

Tiffany sized him up again. “How old are you?” 

 

“18,” he lied. 

 

“You have a fighter System?”

 

“No, you?”

 

“No,” she said. “Then why are you doing quests that require you to fight?”

 

“It didn’t require it, it -” Asher tried to say but was stopped by a hand on his shoulder. 

 

“I’m glad you stuck around kid,” Amanda said. “We have stuff to talk about.” 

 

—

 

10 minutes later Asher and Doug were in a back room with the Administrator and his 4 assistants. “That’s Batman,” Asher tried to whisper, pointing to Carl. Doug’s eyes widened. 

 

“Dude!” Carl said. “Not cool.” 

 

“What?” Asher asked. “I thought it was a whisper.”

 

“I get a multiplier for every day no one finds out my identity,” Batman said. 

 

“How many days were you at?” Doug asked.

“Almost 1,” Carl admitted. This made Tiffany laugh, a sweet laugh, it was a high chorus to Asher. 

 

“You 2 have some explaining to do,” Wayne said. He crossed his arms. His hard eyes bore into them from across the back room. Asher did admit that he had an imposing figure, but again his Policing skill allowed him to mirror the look. 

 

“About what?” Doug asked.

“About what the hell you were doing prostituting yourself out,” Amanda said pointing at Asher. 

 

Asher’s face couldn’t have gone redder. He avoided eye contact with Tiffany since he knew his chances with her were now zip. “It’s part of my System,” he admitted. 

 

“What System do you have?” Wayne asked. 

 

“An…Actor system,” he said. 

 

“Go on,” Amanda commanded. 

 

“One of my experience methods is to pretend to be someone I’m not. I have to act like someone once a day for my multiplier, then if I do certain things with them, then I get the experience,” he said. His lie coming easily. 

 

“What certain things?” Tiffany asked. 

 

“Have sex,” he admitted. “Roleplay as someone is another requirement. If I don’t do at least 2 of my methods then the multiplier won’t procc.” Asher still couldn’t look Tiffany in the eye. He just looked between Wayne and Amanda. 

 

“Well?” Wayne said, turning to Amanda. 

 

“He’s not lying. But he’s also not telling the full truth,” Amanda said, squinting at him. He guessed she had some sort of lie detector skill. 

 

“What else kid?” Carl said. It was hard to disappoint Batman. 

 

“Tell me your Systems, and I’ll tell you more of mine,” Asher said after some thought. 

 

The 4 of them looked to one another, then Wayne said. “You already know mine. I get points for helping all of you. But what you don’t know is that I am a police captain. When System Users like you cross the line, I usually step in to help. Luckily you didn’t do anything too bad, but you should know if you step too far over, you will be arrested.”

 

Amanda went next, “I have the Detective System. I get points for solving crimes. I have some skills that help with this. Especially ones that help me stay undercover,” she admitted. 

 

“I’m Batman,” Carl said. His deep baritone voice a comfort. 

 

“I have an Assistant System. I help people,” Tiffany lied. Her eyes locked on his, he was surprised she would look at him anymore. He was also disgusted with himself. 

 

“What do you want to know?” Asher asked. “I’ll agree to answer your questions if you complete one request for me,” he said. “As long as I don’t feel it's too invasive. 

 

“Fair enough. I’ll help you if I find your answers good enough for the reward,” Wayne said. 

 

“What the hell was with that pervy site of yours?” Amanda blurted out. 

 

“What?” Doug said. He had been quiet so far. 

 

“When we set up the date you offered no condom whatsoever. That’s pretty sick in my book. I don’t care how much you want experience.” 

 

Doug looked to him. “That’s on me. One of my abilities is STD Immunity. I didn’t see the harm in it.” 

 

“Immunity?” She asked a little shocked. “Not protection?”

 

“Thats what it says,” he said bringing up his screen. “Max level.” 

 

“What the fuck kid. How much sex you have to get it that high?” Carl said. 

 

“What? I got the skill at max level?” Asher said, offended. You could hear a pin drop in the room from that. “What? What’s max level?”

 

“We assume it’s 20,” Tiffany said. 

 

“Shit, was hoping it was 11,” Asher said aloud. 

 

“You have some level 10s?” Wayne asked. 

 

“A couple,” Asher admitted. 

 

The group looked to Doug. “Don’t look at me, the highest I have is level 5. This guy is a freak.” 

 

“Wait wait, I am still on the no condom thing,” Amanda said. “What about pregnancy? I mean how old are you, you gotta know you shouldn’t do that.”

 

“I have a skill that lets me turn off and on my fertility,” Asher said. Tiffany’s eyes squinted at him after the disclosure.

 

“Yeah I work with a couple of people that can do that too,” Doug admitted. 

 

“What is your class by the way?” Wayne asked. 

 

“Me? I’m a pimp.” The room got quieter. “No seriously, that’s the name of it.”

“This stupid ass System,” Carl cursed under his breath. 

 

“How the hell does that work?” Amanda asked angrily. 

 

“I don’t know. The System tells me when people with Sex related Systems awaken in the area. Lets me talk to them. Then I set up dates, and get a cut. We both get experience and money.”

 

“You’re fucking saying there are more people out there that get experience from sex?” Amanda asked, her mouth hung open. 

 

“Yeah a few. Heck there were some in the group today,” Doug said. 

 

“Fucking hell, Wayne I want out of prostitution. If I start running into more System Users, why the hell even do this job?” She asked. 

 

“I’ll think on it,” Wayne said noncommittally. “So you pretty much have to do this to get XP?” He asked Doug. 

 

“Yeah. I don’t think there's another way. Usually I have a lie detector skill so I know when a client is a cop. Looks like you have a lying skill, only reason you caught him,” Doug said to Amanda. When she slowly nodded he asked. “Where do we go from here?” 

 

“Give me your contact information. I’ll lead people away from your sites. Amanda is the only person on the force with a System that is police related, so there really shouldn’t be any more problems. What about you?” He asked Asher. 

 

“Who me? I’m done,” he admitted. “Yeah, it kind of left a bad taste in my mouth. I’ll power level some other way. Sorry Doug.” 

 

“No problem,” Doug said. Wayne walked over and the 2 of them talked off to the side. 

 

“Since your skill is the Detective one, I think I need to talk to you,” Asher said to Amanda. He walked up to her and handed her the passport. “Ever seen this guy before?” 

 

“Aleksi Orlov? I know this guy, but his last name wasn’t Orlov,” she said. “Where did you get this?”

 

“From a safe in his house,” Asher said. Then he began to tell his story. A much amended and shorter story. First he talked about seeing this girl getting beat at a hotel. Then her room just so happened to be across from his own. Then he talked about her story. He got a quest to help her. So he followed Aleksi. And since he has the ‘Actor’ System he was able to pretend to be someone interested in buying the girls. Next thing he knew he had the safe opened and Aleksi knocked out. He got the girls. Took them to Doug’s house. Then they all escaped. It was quite a good story if he had to say so. And there was truth enough mixed in to hopefully get past her lie detection skill.   

 

“Quite the story,” Amanda admitted. Carl and Tiffany beside her, they nodded as well. “What do you need me for?”

 

“I want you to arrest the fucker,” he said. “But mainly I want anonymity. Along with passports and money in the safe there were some VHS tapes.”

 

“Tapes of what?” Amanda asked. 

 

“Rape, for one thing. I don’t know if all of them are that way, but I’m guessing so.”

 

“Rape? Are you sure?” Tiffany asked. 

 

“Positive. I made the mistake of playing one with Zora. It was the video they took of her being raped at 16. I couldn’t watch it though. She did, then burned it to ash. I barely talked her into letting me keep the others, under the condition I get revenge for her, and those tapes don’t see the light of day.” 

 

“Where are they now?” Amanda asked. 

 

“Safe,” he said. “First I want assurances. Doug,” he said, calling his friend over. “I need a contract.”