This Overlord Doesn't Care About Anything

In my heart, I was practically already sending my greetings to the assassin’s eighteen ancestors. I’ve seen suicide attacks, I’ve seen honey traps, but I’ve never seen someone sneak over in the middle of the night to perform castration on another!

AAAH——

A certain scene couldn’t help but appear in my mind.

Fifty years later, when I’m already gradually turning senile, I’m holding a palm-leaf knife while sitting on a rocking chair and several children are by my side. With a nostalgic look, I tell them:

“Afterwards, it was during that night when I was sleeping with those three women and Moon. Suddenly, an assassin dropped from the sky. That night, there was no wind, no rain, no moon, no stars. What a beautiful night it was; it was on that night that I thoroughly removed the label of virgin off of me.”

Then, as the children are looking at me in envy, I sit up all of the sudden with a terrifying look, slap the rocking chair, and scream hysterically:

“And turned into a girl!”

N-NOO!

Isn’t such a fate too tragic! Why are things unfolding in such a way!

Damn it, don’t look down on me, watch as I make you——

Right as I was about to fight back, I abruptly discovered that I was already pinned down by those four fast asleep fellows.

I’ve fallen into the trap! It’s an ambush from friendly forces!

When the assassin’s dagger was still a dozen or so centimeters away from my vitals, I ran simulations of several scenes that might appear depending on how I react.

Number one, I swat her away with my hand. Seeing how the situation is, she will most likely hit the opposing wall. The amount she sinks into the wall will be dependent on how much strength I use. But once I use this move, the four present at the scene will definitely wake up and admire my heroic appearance together. Then, they’ll find that ‘oh, so it turns out that sir City Lord was this strong’ and my slacking City Lord monogatari will end from that point onwards.

No good, out of question, this isn’t a future that I want!

Number two, I avoid this piercing thrust under the guise of turning over and watch the aftereffects. Be that as it may, avoiding this strike isn’t at all simple. That assassin clearly isn’t an ordinary character, so this blow will be difficult to evade. Making too much effort when turning over will also awaken the people around me, so this still isn’t a good method to deal with this situation.

Can’t hit, can’t hide; seeing that the assassin’s dagger was a mere few centimeters away from ending the happiness in my second half of life, I clenched my teeth, steeled my heart, and yanked my arm away from Aleya’s hold.

Compared to the arm that Felita was holding tightly against her ample bosom, Aleya’s light hold was much easier to break free.

Afterwards, while the assassin girl didn’t expect it, I suddenly lifted open the quilt, embraced her by the waist, and placed her into my embrace. Thereupon, the dagger’s target slanted a little, rubbing by my thigh, piercing the mattress, and inserting into the floor.

In my heart, I cursed ‘if I really allowed her to continue, I would have totally ended up with my chicken gone and eggs broken’.1

The sense of relief I got when the dagger slanted only lasted for an instant since in the very next second, the assassin’s head banged against my own.

The moment our foreheads collided, I seriously suspected that this person had practiced the ‘iron head art’.

Thinking about it carefully, though, she did have a habit of giving out notices before actually acting, so I became relieved.

This person is indeed hardheaded!

But the problem is, in the flash that our foreheads collided, I clearly felt a soft tactile sensation on my lips apart from the dizzying pain.

It was like April sakura blossoms falling down from their trees and onto your wine cup, but because you didn’t pay attention to your wine cup, your lips accidentally touched it when drinking wine.

That kind of unexpected nice surprise——

And that exclamation exploding forth in my chest is known as “WTF!!”

That assassin evidently didn’t expect this turn of events since she didn’t make any movements at all after this instant, instead letting me embrace her tensed-up body.

I hastily recovered myself in the quilt and in the next moment, Aleya woke up.

W-what’s this situation called.

At this very moment, I’m lying on my back. Bai Huang’s leg is on my left shoulder, my right arm is being hugged by Felita, both my legs are being lent out as Moon’s pillow, and Aleya is lying by my left side. This scene was already bad enough. Now, there’s a sharp dagger inserted between my legs and a petite, quiet assassin lying on my chest.

Aleya quietly asked:

“Young master?”

This was already her nth time calling me tonight.

I reckoned that it was going to be hard to continue on pretending that I was asleep, so I opened my eyes and tiredly shot back:

“What’s wrong?”

Aleya whispered back:

“Nothing. I just heard some sound……”

I purposely pretended to be sleepy and yawned before I responded:

“Just trying to move my body. Go back to sleep.”

The assassin lay on my chest obediently. It was unknown if she had sobered up from the unexpected kiss from just now or if she was unwilling to fan the flames in such a situation. Since I intentionally helped cover her up, she also intentionally coordinated with me, allowing me to hold her dainty body, holding her breath and not making a sound.

Her body’s really really cold.

I figured that she had probably stayed outside the room for several hours and since nightwalking clothes are very thin in the first place, she was like a popsicle from an icehouse after freezing in the cold winds for so long. But it just so happened that my body’s very hot at this moment. When she leaned on me, I unexpectedly felt a comfortable cooling sensation, so I couldn’t help but hug her a little tighter.

Hold on a minute, what’s with this weird sense of guilt.

As if I’m hiding a mistress in front of the lawful wife, there’s this trace of excitement in the tension.

Aleya nodded, then followed up:

“Young master seems……fatter?”

****!

I raised my head to take a look and, sure enough, discovered that although the assassin is indeed dainty, there is still quite a big difference when it comes to one person sleeping alone and two people sleeping stacked up. I took a chance by telling Aleya:

“Really? It might be because I ate too much tonight and my stomach is just bulging right now. Look, I’ll just take a breather.”

After I finished replying, I poured out all the air in my lungs, tightened my abdominal muscles, and exerted myself a little so that I was holding the assassin even closer. I don’t know if the assassin understood my meaning or if she wanted to get more warmth from me, but in short, she wrapped her arms around my waist, buried her ice-cold face deep against my chest, and made us stick even closer to each other.

As a result, the former swollen quilt immediately deflated a bunch.

“S-so it was like this……”

Aleya said with a reddened face.

I was wondering why she had reacted in this fashion, so I raised my head to look in the direction of her sight and understood.

While the assassin and I have already become one at this very moment, the shaft of the dagger right beneath my crotch is very visible, causing the quilt to be raised quite high. The sight of it is just like……

No, Aleya, listen to my explanation!

Aleya closed her eyes, lied back down, rested her head on her pillow, turned over, and stopped looking at me.

The others weren’t so sensitive to sounds, so none of them woke up. Bai Huang snored as she scratched her stomach with a foolish smile and turned over again.

Felita was still sleeping sound while hugging my arm.

Moon’s posture hadn’t changed the entire time.

Everything was peaceful.

I really wanted to tell myself to pretend as if nothing happened.

But the remaining heat and sensation on my lips as well as the assassin, who was holding me like a sloth, all told me that it was real, that this wasn’t a dream.

What am I supposed to do about this……

1. Chicken = euphemism for phallus, eggs = euphemism for…well, I’m sure you can guess.