This Life, I Will Be the Protagonist

The undead mentor stared at the cat for a moment, expressionless, then flung it out with the same hand still holding its paw. "Where did this cat come from? It stinks."

The calico tumbled across the street in a series of wobbly rolls, then landed on its rear and sat there, dazed, staring straight ahead.

Rita's blank look was not only because Apache had tossed her out. The moment her paw brushed Apache's fingertips, the system had begun pinging You Are Being Watched on repeat. There were a lot of eyes on her.

Inside the alchemy shop, Kayden yelped, "You really didn't recognize her? I knew the second she winked at me."

The calico flipped over, sprang to its feet, scratched its hindquarters, then darted back inside. It trotted up to Apache, stood solemnly, and held out both paws, presenting a game pack in front of the undead.

During the stop-time hours of the past few days, she had cooked in bulk. By fusing cuisine with potions, she had pushed past one limit after another and produced several top-tier dishes. She had packed all the four-star recipes, seventy-two in total, into this bag.

Everything she had brewed in the training arcade that actually tasted good was in there as well.

She was no longer the apprentice who could only offer frivolous food and drink for tuition.

Apache would never take the field, but if Dawn truly broke through Lania Kaia, these supplies might help her and Kayden. Resources of this caliber would not make a dent for Lania Kaia's rulers.

For that same reason, Rita did not bring out the dishes made under Let It Die. It was not stinginess. She simply could not.

The undead did not reach for the bag. The calico did not lower her paws. Instead, she asked, "Have you been well?"

Apache sighed, then accepted the game pack. She answered with a non sequitur. "You do not have to do this. You are already the adjudicator of a world."

She had heard of world leaders and world lords, but adjudicator was new. If an entire world blared a global announcement the instant Rita arrived, then adjudicator spoke to a level of authority that needed no explanation.

The calico said, "Then you are the adjudicator's teacher."

The ice on Apache's face thawed completely. She gave a helpless little smile that said, you leave me no choice.

With a flick of her hand, the flame beneath the cauldron went out. She abandoned the potion that was midway through its cycle, led the calico to their usual window table, and found Kayden had already set out a spread of snacks and drinks in high spirits.

Without asking, Kayden flipped the sign to closed.

Apache shrugged off her black robe over the back of a chair and sat down. "You still talk sweet," she said. "Do you use that voice on your other teachers too?"

It had been a throwaway tease, but when she looked up, the calico wore a guilty face.

Apache blinked.

What is there to feel guilty about?

She smiled lightly. "I only teach you alchemy. Having other teachers is normal. No need to feel bad."

The calico bobbed her head. "Exactly. That is what I thought. I rarely acknowledge anyone as a teacher. Including you, there are only four."

Apache paused. That was, in fact, a bit crowded.

...

Because the invasion rules had been amended, eight high gods had been forced to remain behind and finish the work. They descended from the High Seat looking exhausted.

At the doors of the temple, Deceitful Bloom, Foolishness, Mischief, and Hearthsmoke turned left. Bitter Chalice, Captain, Drummer, and Graffiti turned right.

All eight looked drained. On any other day, they would have traded barbs. Today, no one had the energy.

Changing the invasion rules was not as simple as editing a line in the sequence. They also had to rewrite each world's barrier and systemic laws.

Deceitful Bloom was more fatigued than the rest. Anything involving the invasion rules required unanimous consent. During the session she had drawn the most fire.

Many gods suspected her proposal had been made for a mortal named BS-Rita.

Deceitful Bloom had to answer and explain, again and again. Even Captain and Drummer, who had been first to support the change, had to justify themselves.

Foolishness, who had sat through the meeting with a cold face and sealed lips, ended up taking splash damage. He had to explain whether he had gone easy on BS-Rita during the final team match at Arisentna.

Foolishness suspected these troublemakers had simply taken the chance to go full face-roll. Deliberate, every one of them.

Back at the demons' tavern, the four slipped into a booth. The early arrivals were already eating and drinking.

Boiling Orange set down four frosted cocktails. Ashveil arrived with a stack of snacks and sat.

Both of them proceeded to stare at Deceitful Bloom with excessive focus, occasionally flicking a look at Foolishness.

Foolishness: what.

Deceitful Bloom felt a bad premonition settle between her brows. It probably had to do with a certain player.

Vine slipped from her sleeve and twined around her wrist, clearly there for the show. Deceitful Bloom pinched the bridge of her nose. "What now. Never mind, I will look."

She opened the demons' private chat.

Ashveil, very helpful, said, "You could check the main channel."

Deceitful Bloom paused. So the joke had spilled outside already.

[Gods and Demons, Main Channel]

[Ashveil]: When she is called Captain for those few seconds, do you think she remembers a certain god?

[Ironclaw]: You could ask whether she thinks of Deceitful Bloom when she is cooking

[Crispfang]: When she heard Dawn was invading Lania Kaia, the young lady finally smiled

[Stonefang]: When she heard Dawn was invading Lania Kaia, the young lady finally smiled

[Drunkard]: When she heard Dawn was invading Lania Kaia, the young lady finally smiled

[Boiling Orange]: Deceitful Bloom says, BS-Rita, look, dungeon time

[Crispfang]: hahahahahahaha

[Coconut Crunch]: Crispfang, stop playing with them, it lowers your IQ

...

[Crispfang]: Huh? Why did she go to Lania Kaia now? To watch the fun?

[Ironclaw]: This is bad

[Ashveil]: This is bad

[Stonefang]: This is bad

[Boiling Orange]: This is bad

[Crispfang]: [image] [image]

[Crispfang]: What is she to this undead. Why is she turning into a cat to coax her like that

[Drunkard]: Deceitful Bloom, my condolences

[Puppetlord]: She has never said anything that sweet to Deceitful Bloom

[Captain]: I am crying

[Bitter Chalice]: Do not let Deceitful Bloom see this chatlog, my heart hurts

[Drummer]: She is very romantic. Right, Deceitful Bloom

[Graffiti]: I am inspired. I will paint it and gift it to Deceitful Bloom

[Crispfang]: Ah, caught up now. So this undead is also her teacher

[Coconut Crunch]: She has four teachers? And Deceitful Bloom is only one of them

[Boiling Orange]: The more teachers, the more impressive, from BS-Rita

[Captain]: The more teachers, the more impressive, from BS-Rita

[Drummer]: The more teachers, the more impressive, from BS-Rita

Deceitful Bloom closed the channel and took a long drink of the iced fruit liquor.

Foolishness, who had not laughed in ages, finally did. He raised his glass and clinked it against Deceitful Bloom's. "She keeps herself busy."

Hearthsmoke and Mischief both fought back grins as they tapped their glasses to hers in turn.

That seemed to flip a switch. One by one, the demons at the tavern drifted over to toast Deceitful Bloom. The room filled with the sound of clinking glass.

"Forgive her. She did not expect this to end up in your face."

"You all right, cooking teacher."

"You will get used to it."

"Yes, you will get used to it."

"Do not be sad. You still have us."

Deceitful Bloom kept lifting her glass, and somehow never managed to set it down.

Vine climbed from her wrist to the crown of her head and unfurled into a coronet. Today its blossoms were like rubies, brilliant red cores that flashed under the tavern lights.