This Isn't Canon! (Or that time I reincarnated into an AU-Naruto)

-Amegakure-

Remaining sitting in the food stall he would look over and stare at the Shinobi in front of him disappointed. Truly. "Why is it that you have come Onoki? It can't be that you wish to use my country as a staging area for your war once more?" His piercing eyes swept through the Shinobi the Tsuchikage had gathered. The Yonbi Jinchuriki. The Gobi Jinchuriki. Akatsuchi the Stone Wall. 

Four sets of weary eyes rested upon him. "How did you know we would be here, Leader of Ame?" He put down his chopsticks at Onoki's question and then stood up.

"I know of all that happens in my country." Slowly dapping the corner of his mouth with a napkin, he folded it and placed it back onto the shop's counter. "I believe it's time for you to leave. You and your armies. War will no longer happen in my country."

Thunder cracked off in the distance illuminating him, and his eerily glowing purple-ringed eyes. His red hair shone vibrantly as his chakra gathered. "Unless you wish to fight?" He stared at them for a moment, looking at their chakra, before sighing.

"Very well then." 'War. It's always war. I have all the power in the world, and yet they still wage war.' He clenched his fist before lashing out. Before any of them could react his fist slammed into the Yonbi Jinchuriki, and then his second into the Gobi's. Yet, they themselves did not move. "Now you will have no outside help." Nothing visual happened, neither of the Jinchuriki passed out from the blow or even felt pain. But as Nagato fully exploded out with the full might of his chakra, everyone understood.

No Bijuu would be used on this day.

-A while later-

Stepping back into the stall he had a soft smile on his face, Rinnegan now replaced with a gentle violet. "Excuse me sir, I seem to have forgotten to pay earlier, how much was it again?"

-Naruko Academy Clone-

It had been a couple of weeks since her birthday and things were going well. She had finally managed to make a fifth clone for the purposes of permanent training, and as such instead of dedicating it to Academy Taijutsu like she had expected, it was now learning Kenjutsu from the Uzumaki Scroll. Starting of course, with the basics. 'It was worth it to trick people all the times they thought I was sleeping or showering, and to only show myself learning the Rasengan so late - just for that look on his face! But with the waterfall in place and the actually somewhat competent ANBU slowly increasing its speed, my chakra control training is going at a nice pace. I'm still quite far away from the Fourth Step of the Rasengan, what's known as an Oodama Rasengan, Step 5 of controlling it back into a regular Rasengan, or even Step 6 and the actual step where you begin to use the 'real' Rasengan of 'Cho Odama Rasengan' but... I'm getting there. If I had another three years I could probably have completed Step 5, maybe even 6 without K-chan's Chakra.'

Grinning lightly, she'd tune back in. "Now class, it's time to test all of your efforts on Tree-Walking. When I call your name, come to the base of the class and then try to climb to the ceiling. Ami, you're on up!" Getting out of her seat Ami would with a bit of hesitation step on the wall, taking her time. She managed to get over halfway way up before falling. As Ami got back into her seat she smiled at her nodding, "You did a lot better then last time!" Before going back to watching the rest of the students. Considering this class combined with one filled with a group full of mostly civilians, the results were mixed.

Needless to say, her class on average did better, but not as much as one would expect. 'Lower Chakra Reserves, or the 'Civilian' class has the grit that most of my classmates don't.' Her only action when Shino walked up all the wall, and into the center before dropping down back into his seat was a thumbs-up to him, which he hesitantly gave back.

"Impressive Shino!" Having said that, Iruka-sensei would continue to call out people. In the end, only nine people in a combined class of over 50 managed to make it to the ceiling. Sakura, Ino, Sasuke, Shino surprisingly Shikamaru, Hinata, a civilian from the other class named Arabi, an Inuzuka named Shippo, and of course herself. 'Kiba is gonna be in some deep water.' The looks Kiba gave the other Inuzuka were... not good to say the least. 'He's showing his feral side far too much for no reason. He has too little control. Emotionally, physically, or chakra.' She shook her head, of the Konoha 12... Kiba had always impressed her the least.

Turning her gaze away from the show she'd find herself staring at Arabi for a moment before her lips twitched slightly. In response, he bowed his head slightly. 'Hello, Sai. Come to show the world during the war your 'art'?' While Iruka and his assistant Mizuki went over a few things, individual critiques, and just overall stuff people could do better, she took a moment to briefly close her eyes, and open the Mind's Eye of Kagura. Focusing it on Sai, she'd subtly nod her head. 'Danzo taught him impressively. He's 9? 10? Yet he's better than many Chunin. It makes sense, he was nearing the level of an Elite Jonin by the time he was 17. What a shame. If this war happened when it originally would, he could have easily been a strong Kage-level shinobi with some minor work and tweaks.' 

Eventually, the Chakra Theory / Chakra Control class ended and she was off to her least favorite class - Anti-Seduction & Seduction, one of the few 'auxillary' courses that weren't lowered in the amount of time. Why was it her least favorite? 'I know I'm 9, but having a bunch of other 8, 9, or 10-year-olds come onto me is bad! Besides, the theory behind some of this stuff is outdated! Bah. Everyone knows the way to a rich guy's heart isn't fragrances, regality, or the like. It's a fat a-' 

-Main Body- 

 She stared in the distance. "Why do I feel like my clone just thought something that was completely right, but also idiotic?" Her Bukijutsu clone shrugged.

"Probably because we're all connected by Chakra, and also we're always right, y'know!"

"True! Just like that time we were ranking Ramen."

"I still say that..."

She dispersed all of them except her Academy Clone, just so that the Great Ramen Debate didn't happen again. "Right. Cat?" The purple-haired ANBU Shunshin'd 'I need a better name for every single movement jutsu than Shunshin or Teleporting...' in front of her. 

"Yes?" 'Her chakra levels are lower than they should be. That's happening more and more.' 

"Tell Gramps I'll need the next set of weights." Cat stilled for a moment before slowly nodding.

"Very well then." The woman Shunshin'd away. 'Aww, is she fleeing from the horrible Uzumaki Kyuubi Jinchuriki with insane healing capabilities and a talent for speed nearly unmatched? Reasonable actually.' 

Forming four clones she'd grin. "Alright gang, it's time for me beating you all up, and you running in terror as I brutally murder you over and over and over again!"

In response, she could see all four of her clone's pupils begin to dilate. Not in fear. Oh, no. 'Yes, get excited! Make this fun as I slaughter you all!' She paused for a moment. 'Eh, 60% me, 40% K-chan.' 

Needless to say, she massacred many of clones on this day. 'Am I a masochist or a sadist if I like battling myself?'