The World's First Dungeon Vs Zane

It was overcast as the sun rose the next morning, the clouds dark and heavy, sagging with the promise of rain. The normally golden light of dawn was dulled to a pewter grey, casting the house in a quiet, expectant hush.

Inside, the kitchen was alive with the clinking of cutlery, the hiss of the kettle, and the warm smell of toast and brewed coffee. Everyone was gathered around the long wooden table, finishing off breakfast with an easy sort of energy that only came after days of surviving together.

Zane and Bell sat close together, laughing at some private joke, their hands constantly finding excuses to touch—fingers brushing over mugs, knees bumping under the table, the occasional forehead nuzzle that made the others groan.

"You two gonna write each other love letters next?" Tarni drawled, raising an eyebrow as he scooped the last of his eggs onto a piece of toast. "Get a room. Oh wait—you already did."

Bell grinned cheekily. "You're just jealous Tarn."

"Of that?" he jabbed a thumb toward Zane, who gave him a smug wink. "Please."

"Can we not do this while I'm trying to drink coffee?" Lily said, holding up a hand as if to block the view. "I get it. You're in love. You're both very happy. Great. But seriously, Dad, stop trying to stare through Mum's skull."

Kai snorted into his mug. "I think he's trying to hypnotise her into another 'early night'."

Bell chuckled but leaned closer to Zane anyway. "You can stare all you want, babe. Just don't burn holes in me."

Zane smirked, brushing a lock of hair behind her ear. "Worth the risk."

Tarni faked gagging sounds. "Right, that's it. I'm off breakfast. Someone throw a bucket of cold water on them."

But despite the jokes and teasing, there was something grounding about it all. The laughter. The normality. Even the over-the-top romance. It was a slice of peace amidst everything else—the System, the goblins, the uncertainty of what lay ahead. This felt like the eye of the storm.

Zane finally tore his gaze from Bell and looked around at the others. "Alright. We've had our moment. Time to get the day moving before the skies dump on us."

"Yeah," Kai said, glancing at the darkened windows. "Looks like it could open up any second."

Bell stretched and stood, reaching for her empty mug. "Let's check the supplies from yesterday again before we head out. And Tarni, if you do find that bucket of cold water—better sleep with one eye open."

"I'll take my chances," he said with a grin.

The moment lingered just a bit longer, warm and light, before they all pushed back from the table, ready to face whatever the grey-skied day had in store.

The rain started as a whisper—barely more than mist—cooling the warm air and painting the dry dirt in patchy, dark splotches. The group stood on the veranda of the stilted house, sheltered by the tin-and-plywood defences they'd strung up the day before. They were quiet but focused, checking weapons and gear with well-practiced motions.

"I still don't like the idea of splitting up," Bell said, arms folded as she watched Zane slide his machete into its sheath.

Zane stepped up and kissed her lightly on the forehead. "It's better this way. Bow's great on open ground, but we'll be pushing through scrub so thick I'd be lucky to get a clear shot."

She nodded reluctantly, but her hand didn't leave his arm.

"I'll be fine. We'll all be fine."

Bell wasn't the only one uneasy. The air felt heavier than just rain. Zane glanced at the others—Tarni adjusting the strap on his own machete, Kai quietly looping fresh rope onto the netting pole, and Lily practically bouncing in place with energy, her spear slung across her back.

"I'll watch the house," Bell finally said, her voice even but serious. "Just don't do anything dumb."

"Define dumb," Tarni called over his shoulder.

"Dumber than usual."

They all chuckled, then one by one descended the metal ladder and vanished into the grey bush.

The going was slow. The underbrush was wet and tangled, making each step a test of patience and footing. Tarni took the lead, moving with a surprising lightness despite the weight of his gear. Behind him, Zane kept his eyes sweeping from side to side, senses taut. Lily and Kai moved as quietly as they could, the spear and net contraption held ready.

It was Lily who broke the silence. "I hope we find something. I need the XP."

Zane chuckled. "Don't get greedy."

A few minutes later, Tarni suddenly stopped and held up a fist. The group halted. He crouched low and motioned them forward slowly.

"Two goblins," he whispered when they caught up. "About twenty meters ahead, near that fallen tree."

Zane squinted through the undergrowth. Just barely, he could make out their shapes—green-skinned, hunched, and lazily bickering over something.

Lily's eyes lit up as she used her skill. "Only two, both level one, let's rush them!"

Kai nodded. "Yeah, it's a clean shot. No need to waste time."

Tarni glanced back, frowning. "It's too clean."

Zane felt it too—a tug in his gut that didn't match the surface of things.

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"This feels off," he murmured. "Remember last time we rushed easy targets?"

Lily blinked. "You mean when you got your arm cut up?"

Zane nodded. "Goblins are dumb, yeah, but not that dumb. These ones aren't moving like they're nervous. They're planted. Like bait."

Lily looked frustrated but nodded slowly. Kai didn't look convinced, but he stepped back anyway.

"Alright," Zane said, "let's pull out. We'll circle wide and look for a better—"

The bush exploded.

Three massive shapes burst from the underbrush like shadows made flesh. Hobgoblins. Bigger, faster, and meaner than anything they'd fought so far. The two goblins behind leapt up with wicked grins, joining the charge.

"AMBUSH!" Tarni shouted as he yanked his machete free.

Zane met the first hobgoblin head-on, swinging hard to drive it back. Metal clanged against thick, dark hide. Beside him, Kai managed to snag a goblin with the netting tool and slam it into a tree, but another leapt on him from the side.

Lily thrust her spear with precision, catching one in the gut and then spinning low to dodge a retaliating blow. "This is not two goblins!" she yelled.

"No kidding!" Tarni grunted, ducking under a vicious swing and scoring a deep gash across a hobgoblin's thigh. It snarled, grabbed him by his dreadlock at the back of his head, and drove a jagged blade into his ribs three times, each strike missing the reinforced parts of his leather biker's jacket and going all the way in, to the hilt.

"Tarni!" Zane roared, slashing hard enough to sever the attacker's arm at the elbow.

Tarni stumbled back, pale and gasping. Kai dashed to his side, dropping the net and placing both hands over the wound. "Healing Touch!" he shouted once, then again, and again. Each time his hands glowed faintly, and the wounds closed fractionally more—but Kai's knees buckled from the effort.

Zane and Lily stood over them, keeping the last Hobgoblin at bay until Zane finally found an opening and drove his machete into its skull. It let out a strangled roar before dissolving into thick smoke along with the rest.

The battlefield fell silent, filled only with heavy breathing and the patter of rain.

Tarni lay on the ground, barely conscious. His wounds were healing, but too slowly. The third heal had taken its toll on Kai—he was slumped beside Tarni, chest heaving.

"Damn it, it's not enough," Zane muttered.

"I've got nothing left," Kai said hoarsely.

"He's still bleeding heavily—look!" Lily pointed. A thick line of red squirted with every heartbeat from Tarni's side.

Right then, as Tarni's lifeblood was making a red pool between them, the heavens finally opened completely. Rain poured so hard it felt like someone had misplaced the entire ocean in the sky, and now it was doing its best to return to the earth.

Zane dropped to his knees, pressing both hands to the wound in Tarni's chest in a desperate attempt to stop the bleeding.

"No, no, mate, you're okay… Don't die!" he whispered, voice shaking as the rain plastered his clothes to his skin.

Tarni coughed, a wet, rattling sound, and blood trickled from the corner of his mouth. Despite the pain, he managed to flash Zane a crooked, reassuring smile—before a second, harsher cough overtook him, shaking his entire body.

It had happened so fast. Too fast. Zane's mind reeled in disbelief. This isn't real. This can't be happening.

Frantically, he looked over at Kai, only to see him about to collapse face-first into the mud, completely spent. No help would come from there.

No. Not now. We just got everyone together… Please, Tarn, hold on.

Lily knelt nearby, blinking hard. She told herself it was just the rain in her eyes—not tears—as she wiped them away with the back of her hand. Her frantic gaze swept the ground in desperation, searching for anything, anything that might help. She'd nearly completed a full circle on her knees when something odd caught her eye.

The tall grass had been flattened by the storm, revealing a shallow dent in the dirt—and in the middle of it, a faint glint of red.

"Wait—what's that?" she said, pointing.

She rushed over and picked up a small vial with a crimson glow.

"A potion!"

Zane's eyes widened. "Must be a drop from one of the hobgoblins." He took it from her and gave it a quick inspection.

Healing Potion
(This will only work for those initiated into the system.)

Without hesitation, Zane uncorked the vial and tipped it into Tarni's mouth.

For a moment, nothing happened.

Then Tarni's chest rose with a deep, gasping breath. Colour began to return to his face, and his eyes fluttered open.

"Ugh… that tasted like burning licorice," he croaked.

Everyone exhaled at once.

"Next time," Zane said, dropping to his knees beside his friend, "we go with our gut the first time."

Kai and Lily had levelled up. They'd both been shown by their Dad how to shift the System messages out of their main line of sight, and they'd agreed—no fiddling with stats while still out in the field.

Tarni, meanwhile, was still wounded and claimed he felt like an ogre's butthole after an all-you-can-eat curry night. None of them asked for more details.

With Tarni leaning heavily on Zane and Kai, and the bound goblin slumped over Lily's shoulder like a sack of rotten potatoes, the group started the slow trudge back through the rain-slick bush.

The ute's tyres sloshed through mud and puddles as it wound its way back to the house. Rain hammered the windscreen in chaotic rhythms, the wipers barely keeping up. The interior smelt of wet leather, damp clothing, and a faint trace of blood. The tied-up goblin in the back tray thumped occasionally against the metal with every bump, but it stayed quiet—either unconscious or too terrified to make noise.

Tarni was crammed in the back seat between Lily and Kia, his chest wrapped tightly in makeshift bandages. His colour had returned, and so had his mouth.

"So," he said, breaking the silence, "what did one goblin say to the other as they ate a clown?"

No one answered. Rain battered the roof like angry applause.

Tarni cleared his throat. "Does this taste funny to you?"

Zane sighed from the driver's seat. "Mate, you're lucky you didn't die, and now you're threatening us with dad jokes?"

"Near-death experiences make me funnier. It's science," Tarni replied, grinning despite the pain.

Lily rolled her eyes and muttered, "I wish the hobgoblin had aimed a little higher."

Even Kia chuckled, though he still looked pale. Healing three times in a row, then once more after they got back to the Ute, had taken a visible toll—his eyelids drooped, and his head lolled against the window.

The moment they pulled up beneath the house, Bell was already stepping out onto the landing, drawn by the sound of the engine. The light from the veranda cast a warm glow through the rain.

As the group climbed the metal ladder, Bell's expression shifted from relief to concern—and then to full-blown alarm when she spotted the blood.

Tarni was clearly the worst off, he upper chest wrapped tight, moving with a staggered limp. Kia looked like he'd been wrung out and hung up. Lily was soaked, flecked with dark stains, and Zane… well, Zane had that tight, watchful look she hated—like he was holding something in behind his eyes.

"What happened?" Bell asked sharply, scanning each of them. "Who's hurt?"

"We're alright," Zane said, trying for calm. "We ran into more than we expected."

Bell's eyes narrowed. "What more?"

Tarni coughed. "Hobgoblins. Surprise party. Five guests. No cake."

Bell's mouth parted slightly. "You—" She looked to Zane, fury rising now that the fear had a place to go. "You said you'd be careful."

"We were," Zane said, jaw tight. "We backed off when it looked wrong. They rushed us before we could leave."

"And Tarni nearly died," she said flatly, pointing at the bandage that was already seeping through again. "You call that careful?"

Zane didn't answer. He didn't have a good one.

Lily climbed the last rung behind him. "We got one alive," she said, jerking her thumb toward the ute. "Kia bagged it before everything kicked off."

Bell looked past them, seeing the trussed-up goblin barely visible in the back tray through the rain. She swallowed hard, then stepped back from the ladder.

"Inside. All of you. Now. Dry off, warm up, and then we're going to talk about this."

Zane gave her a weary nod and helped Tarni toward the door. As the rain poured down harder around them, the group retreated into the relative safety of the stilted house—one wounded, one exhausted, one furious, and one goblin half-drowned in the tray of the Ute.