Chapter 306: Chapter 48 - Guilt And Repayment (3)
Trisha mentioned that my semen was something extraordinary. Out of curiosity, during one of our fucking sessions, she decided to scoop up some of it from her pussy and do a little research. She discovered that my cum had magical properties, with an unusually high life potency. Maybe it was because I was a creation of the Great Red, a.k.a. Lilith, that my sperm had potential powers.
While it might be an exaggeration to say it could bring someone back from the dead, it was definitely possible to create a life-saving medicine from it.
Trisha could have made a medicine from my cum and had Melina drink it, which would have been a lot easier than taking it straight. But it was still semen, and Zeruel couldn't possibly stomach the idea of making Melina drink something like that.
Besides, there was no guarantee it would actually help her.
"I'm really sorry for bothering you," Zeruel said, her head bowed and her hands clutching the blanket around her. "I want to repay you somehow, but I can only think of one way. I hear men like a woman's body and want to have sex, so I've prepared myself for that. I'm sorry, but I can only buy things within my budget," she continued, her voice trembling.
"My mother always said that if someone helped me, I should repay them threefold. I can't think of any other way to repay you except with my... body."
"I understand your motivation," I said. "But there's still no guarantee that the medicine will work on your mother, and the chances of it succeeding are pretty slim. I don't deserve to be paid, especially since I haven't even cured her yet."
"You've helped me in more ways than you realize," she responded. "You've kept my mother alive without asking for anything in return. At first, I honestly thought you might have some ulterior motive, like wanting my body as payment. I was ready to give it to you if you'd just asked, so I waited, thinking it was only a matter of time.
But even after all this time, you never asked for anything, so I decided to take matters into my own hands. I guess now I know why you didn't ask. My body just isn't appealing to you, huh? And it turns out my assumption that you had some kind of hidden agenda was completely wrong."
"Saying your body isn't appealing to me is far from the truth," I said, my voice firm. "If that were the case, I wouldn't have even confessed to you, remember?"
She lowered her head, unable to respond.
"Sorry for... wasting your time, Leon," she murmured, standing up from the edge of my bed. "And thank you for everything you've done for us. I really, truly appreciate it."
She walked toward the door and opened it.
"Don't worry about anything," I said, my tone reassuring. "I might not be completely trustworthy, but I promise you, I'll use every ounce of my power to save your mother. You'll be able to be with her again."
I genuinely meant what I said. I knew all too well the pain of feeling powerless, of not being able to make a difference until it was too late. My parents were gone before I had the chance to help them, and I didn't want Zeruel to experience that kind of loss.
She turned back toward me and walked slowly in my direction. With a tender touch, she cupped my cheeks and gently pulled me towards her. She pressed a soft kiss to my forehead.
"You might not want my body as repayment, but I wanted to give you something as a token of my gratitude," she said, her cheeks flushed with a warm blush. "You're more amazing than anyone gives you credit for. I can feel your kindness, and it doesn't go unnoticed. I promise I will repay you for everything you've done for me."
With a final, soft smile, she turned towards the door, waved goodbye, and stepped out, closing the door behind her.
The citrus scent lingered in the air, a reminder of her presence even after she was gone. It felt like she was leaving a part of herself behind.
***
Zeruel's POV
I think I finally understood it now. There was this murky, dark, and disgusting feeling lurking in my chest that I hadn't realized before.
Every time I saw him with another woman, that feeling would flare up. Why was I feeling this way? I kept asking myself. It irritated me, but I couldn't figure out why. It's not like I had any reason to be upset, yet there was this nagging sensation that wouldn't go away, no matter how much I tried to ignore it. It felt like my heart was mocking me.
Every day, I'd replay that moment in my head. The day he confessed to me. What if I had responded differently? What if I had accepted it? Would I be happy now? But there's no point in dwelling on what-ifs.
I can't go back in time and change what I did. I rejected him, and I did it harshly. There's no undoing the guilt that weighs on me for how I treated him back then.
What was this feeling? Guilt? No, that wasn't quite it. Guilt was a fragment of it, but it didn't capture the whole essence.
Leon... He was a man shrouded in mystery. Supposedly the weakest among the first-year students at the academy, always stuck at the bottom of the rankings—not just in the bronze class or the entire first year, but in the whole academy. Yet, despite that, his presence felt immense. Far, far bigger than anyone could imagine.
When did I start seeing him like that? Was it because he helped me with my troubles with my mother? Yeah, that must've been it. He stepped in to help preserve her life when no one else could. My mother, suffering from a disease with no known cure, no medicine, no treatment that could save her—she was surviving only through magical apparatuses. He had no reason to help, no benefit to gain, yet he did.
I thought he must have had some ulterior motive. I mean, who in this world helps on that scale without expecting something in return? But Leon did. He helped me, without asking for anything in return.
The dark, murky feeling in my chest began to coalesce at that moment.
Initially, it was nothing but shame. The way I had rejected him, the way I had yelled and embarrassed him in front of everyone—it was unforgivable. That shame soon gave way to guilt, a heavy, gnawing guilt that twisted and morphed into something darker. It was an unsettling, almost toxic feeling that seemed to flare up whenever I see him with the Princess of Bethlan, which was a classmate of mine.
I couldn't quite put my finger on what it was.
The emotion lingered and festered, even now. Despite his offer to help recover my mother from her incurable disease, the feeling persisted. It was compounded by my guilt for not repaying him in any way. This overwhelming mix of emotions led me to the decision to offer my body as a form of repayment.
I knew my body wasn't worth much. It wasn't stunning or beautiful; I wasn't even pretty or cute. I had a boyish figure. But I hoped that despite that, he'd accept me. After all, I still had a woman's body. I even dressed in the most expensive outfit I owned and splashed on the cheap perfume I could afford from the market.
Maybe he'd appreciate my body and find it desirable, even if my face wasn't exactly memorable.
But when I offered myself, he declined. He said he didn't want any repayment and didn't feel he deserved it.
He deserved every bit of it, of course. But I understood then that even if a man might like a woman's body, it didn't mean he'd use it if the woman wasn't appealing. He assured me that wasn't the case at all. He told me he wouldn't have confessed to me if he hadn't found me appealing.
Just as I was about to leave, he told me he'd do whatever it took to save my mother—my mother, who had no connection to him at all. He genuinely wanted to help her. Enjoy new stories from m-v l'e|m,p| y- r
A warmth spread through my heart, like a gentle tickle. My body moved on its own, and before I knew it, my lips pressed a tender kiss to his forehead. It was a gesture my mother used to give me, a sign of her affection. I wanted to share that same feeling with him.
That's what it was—affection. The feelings I had for him were rooted in affection.
Before I understood this feeling, I was lost in gloom. But the moment I recognized it, everything fell into place.
I was in love with Leon.