The Wolf of Los Angeles

[Chapter 33: The Gandalf Incident]

"Faster! Hurry up!"

In the passenger seat, Edward was even more frantic than Hawke, almost like a determined reporter chasing a big scoop. He shouted, "If we can't get the news, our freelance journalist cards are toast. No card means I'm just a fraud -- I won't be able to crash at her place!"

He was genuinely worried, "Boss, you don't want me homeless, do you? Wandering the streets?"

Hawke ignored him, steering the car as they turned off Highland Avenue and onto a slightly secluded road.

After driving for a bit, the phone rang again. Edward picked it up, just as he saw a bald guy standing under a streetlight, talking on his phone. He exclaimed, "Dude, is that you bald guy? I see you!"

The voice on the other end replied, "Is that a black Ford you're in?"

Hawke parked right next to the guy.

Edward jumped out of the car and asked, "Where is it?"

The bald man pointed forward, "At the McDonald's. Gandalf's gone mad, smashing stuff with his staff. I tried to talk him down, but he was going to hit me with the staff, so I took off."

Edward pulled out a twenty-dollar bill, shoved it into the bald guy's hand, then hopped back into the passenger seat, shouting, "This is massive news! Gandalf came out of the movie and started throwing fireballs at people. He almost took that bald guy out -- he must've thought he was an orc!"

Hawke felt puzzled but quickly reacted, flooring the gas and zooming off.

Forget about Gandalf; even if Galadriel showed up, it wouldn't stop him from making a buck.

...

The McDonald's sign came into view, and faint sounds of smashing could be heard.

As they got closer, Hawke realized it was indeed Gandalf causing a ruckus.

Ian McKellen, who played Gandalf in Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, looked like he'd had too much to drink, wildly swinging a broken wooden stick and smashing the glass door of McDonald's.

The McDonald's, usually a 24-hour spot, had all its lights turned off and the doors locked tight.

Hawke glanced at the desolate area and figured this McDonald's might be out of business. The traditionally glamorous Hollywood district had been steadily turning into a poverty-stricken neighborhood, with people moving away in droves.

"Get some shots," Hawke instructed Edward.

Edward quickly grabbed his camera, focused it, and pressed the shutter.

...

Outside McDonald's, Ian McKellen, hiccupping, swung his stick wildly, smashing the door while shouting, "Open the door! Let me in! I want a burger! I want a burger!"

[A/N: The incident with Gandalf smashing things did indeed happen after a BAFTA ceremony.]

His voice rose, "Open up! I want a burger!"

The Fellowship of the Ring had become a box office hit, and the crew had basked in glory at the Oscars. After the ceremony, while partying, Ian had drunk too much and desperately wanted a McDonald's burger. Sneaking off from the hotel party, he drove to the closest McDonald's he could remember only to find it shut.

The British star, known for both his role as Magneto and Gandalf, was known for his temper. Under the influence, he wreaked havoc, demanding the restaurant open up for his burger cravings.

Ian continued to smash the door, hearing the sound of an approaching vehicle. Spotting a black Ford, he yelled like a drunken British soccer hooligan, "Get lost! Don't mess with me trying to grab a burger -- just scram!"

Seeing the car slow down instead of leaving, he picked up a glass Coke bottle from the stairs and threw it towards the vehicle.

...

Hawke slammed the gas pedal, the car lunging forward.

The glass bottle smashed on the pavement, sending shards flying.

"Damn it!" Hawke muttered, "Those Brits really are maniacs!"

Edward opened the car door, camera in hand, ready to jump out.

Fueled by provocation, Hawke burst with a new plan and called Edward back, quickly whispering a few words to him.

Edward was astonished, saying, "You think that'll work?"

"Why be afraid? You're black!" Hawke reminded him. "If there are any problems, just say it's discrimination."

It suddenly clicked for Edward; his ancestors had been cotton pickers and fried chicken eaters. Would it do justice to them not to pull that card when it really mattered?

He nodded slightly, jumping out to run towards Ian McKellen.

Hawke grabbed a handheld camera from the back seat, rushing out to power it on. He found a good spot and waited for Edward to get close to McDonald's before starting to film.

As Edward edged nearer to Ian McKellen, he snapped photo after photo.

...

Ian turned around angrily, shouting, "Get lost, you jerk! Just get lost!"

That charming British gentleman facade melted away; Ian McKellen was now a drunken menace, raising his stick, "If you don't scram, I'll smash your face in!"

"This is a public area; I have every right to film!" Edward yelled back, asserting himself. Then, facing away from Hawke's lens, he muttered, "Hey, you British fucker, are you the one on top fucking or at bottom getting fucked?"

Ian, a known member of the LGBTQ community, immediately exploded with rage, swinging his stick at Edward.

In a panic, Edward quickly snapped two photos before spinning back to run away.

Ian missed with his swing and pursued Edward with even more fury.

The scene unfolded with Edward running ahead, chased by Gandalf.

Edward managed to glance back for one last shot.

...

Meanwhile, hidden behind a streetlight, Hawke recorded the entire bizarre episode.

The more outrageous the news, the more it had to be captured plainly.

With long-term thinking in mind, Hawke had sworn not to produce fake news when establishing his studio.

...

During the event at Hober Hill, Edward had already shown off his running skills.

At that moment, he hit his stride, outpacing a Mondeo, continuing forward to give Hawke more time to capture footage.

Ian McKellen couldn't keep up with Edward at all.

But then, a sudden twist struck.

Five people turned the corner ahead of Edward, and the best-looking one spotted Ian with the stick, shouting, "Ian, what's going on?"

Ian shouted back, "Orlando, Sean, John, stop that jerk ahead!"

Edward caught wind that things were about to get messy and turned to head back.

Orlando Bloom, Sean Astin, John Davis, and the other three immediately took off after him.

They spotted Edward's camera, and without needing to guess, realized it was another filthy paparazzi move.

With a blockade up front and pursuers behind, Edward veered onto the street.

...

Hawke caught this unusual spectacle through the lens, jumped into his car, hit the gas, and made a quick U-turn, leaning out to open the passenger door.

The open door lined up perfectly with Edward's sprint, allowing him to slip inside easily.

Once Edward slammed the door shut, Hawke pushed the gas pedal down, leaving only a cloud of exhaust behind.

...

Behind them, Ian McKellen, panting heavily while clutching his stick, called out to Orlando, "Why are you guys here?"

"You vanished! Someone saw you drive out," Orlando quickly explained. "We'd been in New Zealand filming The Lord of the Rings for ages. We were getting concerned, so we drove a van to find you while Elijah and Billy headed north; we came south."

He glanced at the now-vanished tail lights of the sedan, asking, "What's going on?"

"I just wanted a burger," Ian slurred, still caught up in his drink, "I want a McDonald's burger."

John Davis called Elijah Wood, asking him to bring the car back.

After a few more questions, Orlando filled in the rest of what had happened and quietly told the others, "This means trouble; we should inform the director and producers, pronto."

Sean agreed, "Let's call now."

At a hotel near Highland Center, the jubilant Lord of the Rings crew celebrated when a phone call clipped the festivities short, forcing them to urgently address the situation Ian McKellen had caused.

*****

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