The Will-Breaker

Annai was huddled at the base of a tree, surrounded by thick bushes that both obscured her from sight and blocked the cold wind.

It was a weird feeling. Quilla knew that well before she could see Annai, and no one told her it. But she could almost see through Annai's eyes.

It was also weird feeling Annai's joy when she realised Quilla and Vern were approaching. Was this what Felitïa felt all the time? Probably, but why the hell was she thinking of Felitïa? Fuck Felitïa.

Annai rose from her hiding spot as they got closer. She was definitely a sight for sore eyes, even if she wasn't looking her best. Her parka was torn in several places, and she was laden with bags and waterskins. Dropping several of the bags, she ran forward and threw her arms around Quilla. "Oh gods, I've been so worried about you."

Quilla hugged her back, and they maintained it for some time.

Eventually, Annai stepped back. "You look terrible though."

Quilla scowled. It's not like they gave me a chance to bathe.

"Oh, no. Of course not. I'm sorry, I didn't mean…"

It's okay.

"Sorry, I also can't do the head speaking thing. I've tried, but it won't work. I can hear you, but… Vern says the bond isn't as strong with me. She can still defend me though. You should have seen what she did to some of the Darkers that tried to stop us getting here. It was…" Annai gulped, and Quilla felt momentary disgust from her. "Well, not pleasant. I'm sorry. I'm babbling, aren't I?"

Quilla nodded.

Vern came up beside Annai and put an arm around her shoulders. "Annai." She pointed with her other hand.

Annai turned her head in the direction Vern was pointing and her eyes widened.

Jakka bowed deeply. "Your Highness, you are a sight for sore eyes."

Annai's hands shot to her face, as she gasped. "Jakka?"

Jakka bowed again.

Tears were forming in Annai's eyes. "I...I thought you were dead."

"Never, your Highness. I live as ever to serve you."

Quilla rolled her eyes, and even though Annai wasn't looking at her, Annai elbowed her in the ribs.

Then Annai ran forward and hugged Jakka, practically smothering him. When they separated a moment later, she held up her nose. "You stink though."

"Whereas you, your Highness, are as lovely and beautiful as ever."

"Oh, don't be silly. I'm a mess. I look awful."

Jakka held up his hands. "Perhaps the 'as ever' is a bit of an exaggeration, but your mess is far less than mine. Compared to me, you are an angel."

Vern nudged Quilla. Why don't we give them a little privacy?

With a smile, Quilla nodded.

"Oi, you two!" Vern called. "We should get back to camp. Quilla and I will go ahead to scout. You two follow about a minute behind. Annai knows the way. Oh, Annai, water?"

Annai took one one of the waterskins on her and tossed it to Vern, who then handed it to Quilla.

Then Vern took Quilla's hand and led her into the woods.

"I know what you're doing!" Annai called after them.

Vern merely laughed.

Is it safe? Quilla asked.

After the damage I did getting to you, I think so. They'll be trying to regroup, but it will take them awhile. Don't worry. I won't let them get far enough behind that I can't run to their rescue if they need it. "It's going to take awhile to get to camp. This might be a good time to talk if you want."

Quilla removed the cap from the waterskin and took a swig. Then she nodded.

They walked in silence for a while. There was a sense of...confusion? Yes, confusion. Recognising another person's emotions was taking some getting used to. There was a sense of confusion coming from Vern and she remained silent. Eventually, Quilla glared at her.

Embarrassment now. "Sorry. Just getting my thoughts in order. You know, it's ridiculous. I've spent the last several days planning what to say to you, and now we're here, I don't know where to start."

How about the part where you're a fucking Volg?

"Right." Vern took a deep breath. "Well, I mean, you know that part. You see, female Volgs look like humans—most of us, at any rate. There are a few outliers. My name is Morstraime, daughter of Emclenim of the Warrior Caste. I'm part of an organisation called the Arcraime, which is made up entirely of girls and women. Our purpose is to infiltrate human society and...spy on them basically."

And your sister?

"I didn't lie there. Every now and then a member of the Arcraime goes rogue. It actually happens somewhat frequently. We...we live a hard life. But when it happens it brings shame and dishonour to the family, particularly the father. Ten years ago, my sister, Lacquaime, went rogue. If the carcraime—that's what a rogue Arcraime is called—has any sisters, it becomes their sole duty to hunt her down and kill her. That becomes our…" She sighed. "My life's quest. The only way my father can ever regain his honour is if either he or I kill Lacquaime. That almost never happens. The family live out the rest of their lives in dishonour. So you see, I didn't lie to you. I just—"

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Quilla rounded on her. Fuck you, Vern. You left out information. That's still a kind of lie.

"I suppose it is, and I'm sorry. Can you forgive me?"

Vern held out her hand to Quilla, but Quilla backed away. Forgive, no way. Not right now.

Vern lowered her head. The emotions coming from her were a jumble and Quilla couldn't quite make out what each one was. How the hell did Felitïa manage this? Oh gods, she had to stop thinking about Felitïa.

Was that a hint of amusement from Vern? Stop reading my thoughts.

"You're broadcasting them. I can't help it. Sorry. I love you, Quilla. I've only ever loved one person before and never thought I would again, but it's true. I love you. What do I have to do regain your trust?"

Quilla scowled and looked behind them. Annai and Jakka weren't far back. She could just sense...excitement?...something from Annai. We should keep moving before they catch up?

Vern nodded and resumed walking.

Quilla followed alongside her. How close does Annai need to be before she can hear our thoughts?

"Just a few feet. Don't worry. The most she'll get right now is strong emotion."

Good. Forgiveness is going to be a long time coming, Vern.

"I understand that. I—"

No, you don't. You don't know what I've been through at the hands of Volgs. You—

Vern rounded on her, reaching out.

Quilla backed into a tree. Don't you fucking touch me!

Vern backed up a step, digging her fingers into her palms. She hissed, "Don't you dare tell me I don't understand! You have no idea what I've been through, what every warrior caste girl goes through. Do you want to know how often I didn't have at least one bruise, black eye, or broken bone while growing up? The answer is never. Got that? Never!" She advanced on Quilla again, and waved a finger in front of Quilla's face.

I said, don't touch me!

"I'm not." Vern backed away again.

But you very nearly did. You want my forgiveness? That's exactly how you'll never get it.

"I'm sorry. I—"

Don't you dare say you love me. If you did, you wouldn't do something like that.

Vern looked at her, her face quivering, tears forming in her eyes. The emotions from her were a jumble. Anger? Embarrassment? Both? Others? Quilla couldn't make heads nor tails of them.

"They're catching up again," Vern said, her voice cracking. She turned and continued walking.

Quilla waited a moment before catching up.

"Do you want me to go? If you do, I will. As soon as I get you safely off this island, I'll end the bond and go. I promise. Just say the word."

Quilla didn't answer immediately. The truth was, she wasn't really sure, and… Shit. Vern was probably hearing these thoughts.

"Yep, I am. Sorry. But I understand your confusion. I'm a fucked-up person, Quilla. You'd probably be right to get rid of me."

Why can't I hear your ever thought the way you hear mine?

"I've done these bondings before. I know how to keep my mind closed and only send out what I want. You'll figure it out in time. I can help if you want. But only if you ask. I won't force anything on you."

Gods damn it, Vern! I don't know. I just don't know right now. Did she love Vern? A part of her did, and that terrified her. Vern was exactly what she'd said: fucked up. Bad news. She should really send her packing.

But she was also only free because of Vern.

And she would likely only stay free because of Vern as well.

Unless she went to Felitïa.

Fuck.

She didn't want to do that, but Felitïa had a way of staying free. Felitïa was really her only hope.

"I could help you get to her," Vern said. "Then, once you're there, I can go. You'll never see me again."

With a sigh, Quilla stopped walking, took Vern's hand, and pulled her closer to her. She kissed her.

The jumble of emotions from Vern vanished, replaced by… Elation? Lust? "I wasn't expecting that, but I like it."

Quorge, Quilla said. You have until then to prove to me I can trust you. Otherwise, you're gone after that. No, worse. I'll turn you over to Felitïa as an enemy. Got it?

Quilla was pretty sure the new emotion from Vern was fear. It sure felt like fear. Vern nodded. "Got it."

And if you want to prove I can trust you, you will never—ever—lay your hands on me the way you almost just did.

"I won't. I promise. It was my anger and I—"

Get your anger under control.

"I will."

It's going to take a lot more than that to convince me, but that is a necessity.

"I understand."

You better. Quilla kissed her again.

Jakka and Annai came into sight, pushing through the underbrush. "So that's why you took Quilla with you," Jakka said with a laugh. "I would have thought you'd want to scout on your own, but now I understand."

"Caught us red-handed," Vern said.

Quilla stepped back, trying to look coy. It was best Annai and Jakka—especially Jakka—not be aware of the issues between her and Vern.

"I told you what they were up to," Annai said.

Jakka laughed. "I know, but I had to say something."

"Watch it, little man," Vern said. "There's only so much teasing I can take."

Jakka held up his hands defensively. "I'll take it easy on you. I promise." He lowered his hands and strode forward. "Now, shall we get to this hideout of yours?"

With a nod, Vern led the rest of the way through the woods.