The Will-Breaker

Akna rubbed her eyes, and the tears gathering there dripped out and smudged the ink on the paper in front of her. With a groan, she pushed the paper aside, grabbed a fresh sheet, and prepared to start yet again. It was the roster for tomorrow. Under normal circumstances, she hated this part of the job: bookkeeping. But right now…?

Being in charge of palace security was fine, even if the people under her command were less than competent. Being Anita's bodyguard and making certain Anita remained safe was an honour. But Akna hated all the paperwork she had to fill out. Was it really necessary to record everything she did? In Ninifin...well, there was paperwork in Ninifin as well, but not nearly as much. At least, being head of the Youth Guard had not required much paperwork. Maybe head of the Queen's Guard required more, but she doubted it was as much as she had to do here.

She should be with Meleng right now, and that was where she would be if it weren't for the fact Anita was going down to the harbour in the morning to see the destruction and to speak to the people. So Akna had to plan security—not just for Anita, but also for what would be left here at the palace. Part of her wanted to have every available guard watching Anita, but that would leave the palace undefended, and who knew what could happen then? Besides, if those demon things attacked again, Akna doubted a thousand guards would make a difference. She had tried to suggest Anita remain at the palace, but Anita had insisted, saying that to hide now would just turn the people against her.

Akna sighed. Anita was probably right about that.

So she was stuck writing a roster—not a difficult task, except her tears kept ruining it.

Gods, it wasn't fair. Meleng didn't deserve what had happened to him. Akna had known numerous people who had lost fingers, hands, and limbs in combat. It was a cost of being a warrior. But Meleng was different. She knew how much he depended on his hands for his magic and to lose one… Gods, she could barely imagine. She had seen how having temporarily broken fingers had affected Felitïa, and Meleng's injury wasn't temporary.

She wiped more tears from her eyes before they could smudge the paper again. Then she finished the roster as quickly as she could so more tears didn't have enough time to form and fall on it. She needed to talk to Jorvan and Feviona to make sure one of them was present with Anita tomorrow, but she was waiting to let them have time with Meleng. They deserved that.

She slid the roster away from her, leaned over, and let the tears flow. She should be with Meleng, and she had gone to see him already, but she hadn't been able to stay long.

She straightened up at the sound of one of the doors opening and wiped away her tears.

It was Sinitïa, who strode across the room without acknowledging Akna.

"Sinitïa?" Akna called.

The young princess paused and looked back, the makeup on her face marred by tears. "Yes?"

"How's Meleng?"

"Sleeping. He wants to be alone right now."And with that, Sinitïa continued on her way, out the door on the other side of the library.

Akna stared at the closed door for a moment. That was odd. Something was off. The terseness was unusual for Sinitïa, but could easily be explained by grief. No, it was something about her stance and appearance. Apart from her tear-stricken face, her appearance was immaculate: her hair tied up in a bun and adorned with red and blue flowers. Daisies? Roses? Akna really didn't know the local flowers well. But that wasn't it either. Sinitïa had also been wearing a yellow gown in the Arnorin style with low bodice and wide skirts.

And the skirts didn't fall uniformly because of the sword at Sinitïa's left side.

Since when did Sinitïa wear a sword? Arnorin princesses were apparently trained in their use, but they did not usually wear one, and Akna had certainly never seen Sinitïa with one. So why did she have one now?

Oh gods.

Akna leapt to her feet, tore open the door, and ran after the princess.

"Sinitïa!"

Where had she gone?

Servants and guards pointed the way, and Akna soon caught up to her in a cubby just outside the door to Horaz Belone's rooms.

"Sinitïa!"

"Go away." Sinitïa didn't even look back. She just marched straight up to the door, banged on it once with her fist, and reached for the handle.

"Sinitïa, don't do this."

Without response, Sinitïa opened the door and marched inside.

"Your Highness! This is an unexpected pleasure. How's your young lad doing? I heard...your Highness?"

Akna rushed to the door.

You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.

Sinitïa was storming across the entry room, straight towards Godran Frellan, her sword drawn. Horaz was already rushing for her, and Akna did the same. They each grabbed one of her arms, Akna grabbing the sword arm by the wrist. Twisting it, she forced Sinitïa to drop the sword.

"No!" Sinitïa screamed. "It's because of him Melly's hurt!"

"What's she going on about?" Horaz said.

Akna twisted Sinitïa's arm back. "It's all right. I've got her." She took Sinitïa's other arm from Horaz and pulled her back towards the door.

Sinitïa twisted and squirmed, screaming out, "I'll kill him! I'll fucking kill him!" She squirmed a bit more, then went limp, and sobbed.

"I'll call the guards," Horaz said.

"No," Akna said. "I've got her. She's just distraught and not thinking straight. I'll talk to her. It'll be fine. Close the door behind me. I'll send a guard to collect the sword."

As Akna dragged Sinitïa through the door, she looked over at Horaz, who was backed up against the wall, having knocked a painting off. Although he was in a cowering position, his eyes showed little fear, and his mouth was twisted in disgust.

Akna dragged Sinitïa over to a bench in the nearby cubby, and pushed her down onto it, then sat beside her. She then put her arms around Sinitïa and held her tight.

Sinitïa sobbed lightly for a while before looking up into Akna's eyes. "You know why I have to kill him, right?"

"Godran isn't the one who hurt Meleng," Akna said. "The demon did."

"Yeah, but the demons are here because of the Darkers."

"We don't know that." Though it was almost certainly true.

"And he's a Darker."

"Yeah, but he's not supposed to know we know that."

Sinitïa stared at Akna a moment, then burst into tears again. "Oh gods, I've ruined everything haven't I? I'm sorry. I'm so fucking stupid."

Akna held her tight again. "It's all right. He probably suspected already anyway." In truth, she understood Sinitïa's feelings. She'd love nothing more than to string up every Darker in the world for hurting Meleng. But some things had to remain dreams. For now.

"He's hurting so much, Akna. So much."

"I know."

Sinitïa sniffled. "I don't mean just from losing his arm. I mean even before that. In his head. I'm glad that you've been talking to him, but it isn't working. He still wakes up in the night screaming. He still checks everything to find out if they're illusions. I love him so much. So so much. And I know he loves me, but it's not enough. What am I supposed to do?" She buried her head in Akna's shoulder and sobbed some more.

"These sorts of things don't just go away," Akna said. "Believe me, I know. I still see Chicahua die when I close my eyes. And all the members of the Youth Guard who died under my command. They'll be with me for life. And Meleng's will be with him for his life."

"Then what do I do?" Sinitïa wailed.

"Just be there for him when he needs you. That's all you can do. All any of us can do. Me, you, Jorvan, Feviona, Felitïa. Just be there when he needs us."

"But I want to make him better."

"You are."

"No, I'm not. I told you he still—"

"Yes, but think what he might be like if you weren't there. He'd be worse, right?"

Sinitïa sat up and wiped her eyes, which just watered more in response. "I suppose."

"It's true."

Sinitïa nodded, sniffling some more. "I guess so. Thank you for being his friend, and for helping him too."

"I will always be here for him. Actually, Sinitïa, I…" She paused a moment. This was probably not the best time to bring this up, but she'd been putting it off.

"Yes?"

Akna looked away towards the window. "You know when I first met Meleng, I hoped to have a relationship with him like you do."

"I know."

Akna looked back at her. "And you don't mind?"

"Why would I?"

Akna shrugged and chuckled. "I don't know. Just you Arnorins often get jealous about these sorts of things."

"That would be silly." Sinitïa threw her arms around Akna and hugged her tightly. "You're a good friend to him and he loves you very much. I would never hold that against you or him."

Akna hugged her back. "Thank you."

"I'm sorry I messed up things with Godran."

"It's fine. Like I said, he probably suspected we knew anyway. And maybe this will force things to happen. Come on. I'll escort you back to your room."

They stood up, and Akna hooked her arm around Sinitïa's.

"I dropped my sword," Sinitïa said.

"I'll have it collected," Akna said, and started leading Sinitïa away.

"Do you think Horaz will hate me now?"

"I have no idea. I think you frightened and confused him though. But you'll have to talk to him yourself. I can't help you with that."

"That's fine. I'll talk to Anita and have her talk to him for me."

"Yeah, you can do that, but you'll probably have to talk to him yourself eventually."

"I know, but Anita can help smooth things over first."

Akna rolled her eyes. "I suppose."

As they made their way from the cubby, Akna took a look back towards Horaz Belone's chambers. Sinitïa might have had the wrong way of going about it, but she had one thing right. They were all constantly having to react to their enemies' actions. It was time for reactions to end.