The Will-Breaker

Quilla ran a finger over the crow tattoo just below Vern's right shoulder.

"You seem to like that one," Vern said, leaning back and pressing her head against Quilla's.

"I think it's my favourite."

"Why? It's crap."

It was true the artwork was pretty lousy. Quilla wasn't even sure it was supposed to be a crow or raven. It was definitely a bird that was black, but beyond that, it didn't really resemble any particular kind of bird. "I don't know. I guess because it's the most normal."

Vern laughed. "Most normal? What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, let's see." Quilla ran her hand down Vern's arm. "Here we have a dagger stabbing someone's hand. With lots of blood, I might add."

Vern chuckled. "Yeah, that one's my favourite."

"Uh huh." Quilla pulled back a little from her, then gently pushed Vern forward so she could run her hands over her back. "And here we have this big one of a giant lizard that has half swallowed this poor man."

"That's a crocodile, not a lizard."

"Okay, fine, I've never seen a crocodile before."

"And the man is representative of all the assholes who have screwed me over in the past." Vern twisted around to flash Quilla a smile. "It's what I'd like to see happen to them."

"Yeah, that figures." Quilla put her arms around Vern's stomach and pulled her back against her again. "And what about this one?" She indicated the red monstrosity on Vern's chest just above her breasts.

"Have you never seen a heart before?"

"I...uh…" That was a heart?

"It's what a heart actually looks like if you cut a person open and take it out. They don't actually look like those little squiggle designs people call hearts, you know."

"I don't normally cut people open to look at their hearts."

"Your loss then." Vern laughed.

With a sigh, Quilla bent her head down and kissed the crow tattoo. "That's why this one is my favourite."

Vern rested her head against Quilla's again. "That was my first, you know. Unfortunately, it was also the artist's first, and he hadn't quite perfected his craft yet." Her body shook with laughter. "To be fair, the one I gave him was almost as bad. It was my first, too. We decided to practice on each other so we could get better."

"What other ones are by him?"

Vern sighed. "None. He died shortly after the sparrow. A run-in with...well, the details don't matter. I wasn't able to save him. I was young and...like I said, the details don't matter."

"I'm sorry."

"It was a long time ago."

"Wait. That's supposed to be a sparrow?"

Vern barked a laugh and clamped a hand over her mouth. "Sorry, don't want to wake Annai, but yeah, it was supposed to be a sparrow, but we didn't have much variety of coloured inks."

"I thought it was supposed to be a crow or raven."

"Either of those work, I suppose," Vern said, chuckling some more. "He was a really bad tattooist."

"Were you lovers?"

"Sort of."

"Sort of?"

Vern twisted round so she was facing Quilla, their chests pressed up against each other. "Fine, we fucked like wild animals day in and day out. Is that what you want to hear?"

"No," Quilla said, trying not to laugh. "Just an honest answer."

Vern smiled. "Yeah, we were lovers for a little while. He didn't live long enough for it to become long-term."

"Again, sorry to hear."

"Again, long time ago."

They stared into each other's eyes for a while. Vern's eyes were of the deepest blue.

"Can I ask you a question?" Quilla eventually asked.

"Was he as good in bed as you? No. No, he definitely wasn't. He was pretty bad actually."

Quilla laughed. "No, that wasn't it."

Vern kissed her. "Go ahead and ask then."

"It's about the tattoo and the bonding."

This book's true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.

With a groan, Vern rolled off Quilla and lay on her back in the straw.

"I'm not backing out," Quilla said. "I'm getting the tattoo tomorrow as planned, and so is Annai. You can refuse to answer me if you want. It won't change anything. There's just something I'd like to know."

Vern nodded. "Go ahead."

Quilla took a moment to compose her thoughts. Vern could be sensitive about this topic, so she wanted to put it in such a way as to not anger her. "Some of the things Ookpik said have been weighing on me. I told Annai—like you told me—that getting the tattoo didn't mean she had to believe. It's just a tattoo and doesn't have any meaning you don't give it."

"Yeah, that's right," Vern said.

"Except Ookpik said that's not true. She said Night's symbols have real power and they corrupt. They'll corrupt me, and presumably, they'll corrupt Annai too."

"And you believe that?"

"I don't know. But I do want to know if I lied to Annai. I'm okay if I did. At least, I think I am. But I do want to know."

"You think I'd lie to you?"

Quilla took a deep breath. "Ookpik told me to ask you something."

Vern rolled her eyes. "Then fucking ask it already."

"She said to ask if the bonding could be done with a different tattoo. Can it?"

Vern took several seconds before answering. "No."

"Why not? If they're just tattoos with no real power, why can't your ability work with any tattoo?"

Vern propped herself up on her elbows. "Might as well ask why you need a tattoo at all."

"Fine. Why does there have to be a tattoo?"

"I don't fucking know, okay?" She sat al the way up. "Look, when Servants go through the rituals to get powers, we generally have no idea what we're going to get. We end up with a slight intuition on how to use it, but most of it is trial and error. For me, all I know is the person I bond with has to have a goat-skull tattoo. I have no idea why it doesn't work with anything else. And before you ask, yes, I've fucking tried to do it without. I tried to do it with you when we met, remember? It doesn't fucking work."

Quilla held up her hands defensively. "Okay, okay. I just...I worry about Annai, all right? If I'm going to lead her towards corruption, I want to know."

"Yeah, I get it." Vern sighed, then shook her head. "No, sorry, I don't actually get it. But I understand the concept. You care for her more than I ever could."

Quilla chuckled. "I used to hate her, and she hated me. I was a lowly Eloorin who had seduced her brother and cheated my way into the Royal Palace. She did everything she could to make my life a living hell. It didn't matter that I hadn't done what she'd accused me of. I wasn't using Garet to gain riches and social status. I loved him, and he loved me. That was all."

"So what happened?"

Quilla shrugged. "She changed. It was slow. Zandrue started the process, I suppose. She rubbed off on Annai."

"Who's Zandrue?"

"A friend of mine. She got herself into Annai's inner circle of friends. Ironically, she really was using Annai. Not to gain power, but...well, it' s a long story. I'll tell you about it later. But long story short, she had an effect on Annai. And then during the attack on the Palace, I ended up escaping with Annai and Gabriella. We were forced to live off the streets, and you know the rest of the story. But she's really changed, and somewhere along the line, I started to...not really like her, but care for her. At least a little."

Vern nodded slowly. "Okay, I get it now. A little. What happened to this Zandrue?"

"She disappeared with Dyle. I mean literally with him. They both had their hands on the Pearl. She might be alive or dead. She was in better shape than Dyle though, so hopefully she's alive and he's dead."

Vern gave her a sad smile and reached out to touch her face. "I'm sure she's alive."

"No you're not," Quilla said.

Vern snorted. "Okay, I'm not, but for your sake, I really do hope your friend is alive."

"Thanks."

"About the tattoo corrupting people," Vern went on, "I honestly believe what I told you. However, I guess I can't really say for sure, but let me ask you something. What exactly is corruption?"

"What do you mean?"

"Exactly what I said. What is it?"

Quilla took a moment to think. It was such an obvious answer, so why was Vern even asking? "It's when people get corrupt. They become bad, evil."

"And what does that mean?"

Quilla stared blankly at her.

"How do you define evil? Stealing? You've done that and you don't have a goat-skull tattoo yet. Killing? You've done that too."

"I've stolen out of necessity."

Vern nodded. "I know."

"And I haven't killed anyone. I've had to defend myself a couple times, but I've never killed."

Vern shrugged. "Okay, but you've tried. You said Dyle was badly injured when he disappeared. Was that because of your friend? Or did you try to kill him?"

"I… There were extenuating circumstances."

"I don't doubt it. What about me? Am I evil and corrupt? I've killed lots of people. Most of the time in self defence, but some because I didn't like them, some because I got paid to do it."

Quilla sighed. Vern was a fucking Darker. Of course she'd killed people. Of course she was evil. Yet…

"I can see the answer from your expression, but if I'm so bad, what are you doing fucking me every chance you get?" Vern grinned. "Is it because you're corrupt too? Or is it simply because we act in the moment and do what seems the best at the time? Corruption doesn't come into it. Good and evil are terms we apply after the fact."

"Yes, but other things can influence what we do. People and situations can limit our choices."

Vern shifted round and straddled Quilla. "True. I never said we can't be influenced, and sometimes we only have bad options to choose from. But we still make the choices in the end. Other people don't, and certainly not a tattoo." She put her arms around Quilla's neck and grinned.

Quilla nodded. "I suppose so." She wasn't entirely convinced, but Vern was right about at least one thing: she was still responsible for her own decisions whether she had the tattoo or not. Perhaps that meant, even if the tattoo had real power, she could still choose to resist it. And she could help Annai resist it too.

"Let me offer you two choices," Vern said. "One, you let me drive you wild, but risk waking Annai. Two, we play it safe and just get some sleep. It's pretty late after all."

Quilla rolled her eyes. "Is that all you ever think of?"

Vern grinned. "No, but it is what I'm thinking of right now. So, your choice?"

"Well, I'd hate to wake Annai."

Vern raised an eyebrow.

Quilla grinned back. "But I think it's worth the risk."