The Wandering Fairy [LitRPG World-Hopping]

"Shedding my own skin?"

Soren stood there with Solyara's remarks spinning endlessly in his mind, unable to make sense of what She meant.

Solyara took another sip from Her wine glass, "Haven't you considered what it really means to grow the number of Channels of Willpower you possess?

"Your anima exists separately within each Layer of Self. But for you to utilize magecraft, certain ratios of that anima are needed. Meaning, you need to mix and match the perfect blend of willpower to cast the spell."

She lifted Her palm to demonstrate. Soren stood frozen in place as he felt the air shift around him. Solyara had activated Her Soul Realm.

Although the range of its expansion didn't supersede the size of the room, its thickness was enough to drown him. It felt as if he was being dragged under by a brutal current with no hope of escape.

And yet, Soren couldn't help but admire it nonetheless. Vibrant strings of anima spun in the air endlessly, stretching from Her body to infinity. The more he stared at them, the more his mind felt lost. He could see their forms twirling in the air—their intricate braids and patterns that were tangled together into thick yarn. No, at this point, the strings weren't just free flowing.

They felt interconnected like woven fabric.

"Your channels are pathways," She said in a rather amused tone. "Pathways that allow your anima to freely flow in between your Layers of Self."

Soren nodded. "Yes, I've already known that for a while now."

She smiled, "Then are you aware of their side effects?"

"Side…effects?" He never even considered it.

Seeing his dumb look, Solyara couldn't help but sigh. "It makes sense. After all, you are only a 1st Circle magus. Your Soul Realm is also only at the Infant stage and the number of channels you possess are no greater than two hundred and sixty…

"Despite being a profound astrologer, that brat, Sienna, has much to learn… To think she never anticipated you to grow at this rapid of a pace."

Soren shook his head. "Hold on… What exactly is wrong with gaining more channels?.. What are you even talking about?"

Solyara chuckled.

"Did you think creating holes in your Three Layers for your anima to flow out of them was safe? Your anima is separated between those three mind spaces for a reason. The anima of your Heart's Shroud contains the willpower of your emotions and memories. The anima within the Echo of Mind holds the willpower of your thoughts and logic. And the anima within your Veil of Perception bundles everything from your instincts, senses, and health as its own kind of willpower.

"These willpowers… They are all your anima. But they serve different cognitive functions. Together, they are represented by your True Self, but individually, they are separate pieces of a much larger puzzle. And just like how oil and water cannot be mixed, so too does your anima follow a similar structure."

Soren could only remain speechless. He couldn't even think of a response. In the end, Solyara continued Her lecture:

"When all three forms of the same anima are mixed, a strange phenomena occurs: Anima Congruence. That is where the color of your anima originates from. What populates your Soul Realm is exactly this mixture.

"Of course, depending on the ratios, the mixture will shift in distinct ways, allowing you to power the axioms within your magecraft the way they are intended to be powered. And what's more, the Shades of Self you discover which are representations of this congruence will also shape how it is perceived."

Solyara paused for a second, lost in Her own reflection in the wine glass. Eventually, She sighed:

"But this also introduces a problem. As I said before, the three different kinds of anima that manifest within your Three Layers each represent their own cognitive functions—representations of aspects of your mind. When they are mixed together, the definitions they hold within themselves become blurred."

Soren's eyes widened. "You mean—"

"Exactly," She interrupted with a rather cheeky grin. "It will result in parts of your sanity becoming 'lost.'"

"....." His eyes trailed to the floor as storms formed within his Echo of Mind.

Solyara placed Her wine glass on the table. Her expression now turning serious:

"Sienna likely saw it as a hindrance to tell you, since hesitation can slow down your progress. And she was also aware that this was usually not a problem for 1st and 2nd Circle magi. It's only when they step into the 3rd Circle that it becomes noticeable.

"Of course, that would be the case for normal magi. You on the other hand, are anything but normal. Outside the fact that your Soul Weapon's Abstract Rune has a deep connection to your True Self, your Shade of Self also possesses qualities of a Mystery. A truly wondrous miracle, but not one without a cost. There is also this strange and malignant force that I am noticing deep within your Heart's Shroud which yearns to spread its influence upon you. You seem to be holding it back through a magecraft spell.

"All of these factors combined have certainly created a rather… beautiful mess within your Three Layers. The Anima Congruence principle would not only result in a blurring of your sanity, but also, a rather obvious coating of foreign influence that tries to redefine that sanity to begin with."

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Soren's mind continued to spin. It was one thing to think that his Fairy Witness rune was actively corroding what his anima means, but to think that the Echoes of the Rift would also be trying to do the same…

Unaware of his thoughts, Solyara continued:

"But that beautiful mess is exactly the problem," She sighed, "It's not the redefining that's the problem, but how it's being redefined."

Soren's brows furrowed. "What do you mean…"

Solyara looked into his eyes. "Tell me, Soren. Do you know what the seven stages of a Soul Realm are?"

He quickly recalled the information he had read a while ago:

"Seven stages—Nascent, Infant, Kindled, Awakened, Dominion, Sovereign and Heavenly."

"Correct," She nodded. "But what exactly differentiates these stages from each other?"

Soren remained silent. Aside from the fact that they usually represent a Soul Realm's size and density of the anima present within it, he wasn't at all sure how they were categorized. Even reaching the Infant stage felt rather passive—it happened on its own as he grew more familiar with utilizing his own anima.

Solyara nodded. "I'll tell you. The stages you are aware of—do not think of them as ranks in the similar manner to how magecraft circles are categorized."

"What?"

She continued, "Instead, picture them as barriers.

"Barriers that serve to protect against ever increasing levels of insanity.

"Just like how a bottle can only hold a certain amount of fluids, a Soul Realm can only be populated by a limited quantity of mixed anima… And that limitation is important, because it is what protects us from losing all of our sanity the moment you open a single Channel of Willpower."

Soren rubbed his chin. "So you're saying that the amount of anima that passes through the Channels of Willpower and end up mixing together is limited by the Soul Realm's stage?"

"Indeed," Solyara nodded. "That is why the number of channels also depends on the stage. One cannot hold more than ten Channels of Willpower if they are only in the Nascent stage. The moment that number grows past that limit, your Soul Realm is forced to break the first barrier—transforming into an Infant stage Soul Realm."

So that's why…

"However, this progress is not automatic after the Infant Stage. For a magi to reach the Kindled stage, they must shatter the second barrier themselves."

He tilted his head slightly. "Wait… To reach a thousand Channels of Willpower, I would have to first reach the Kindled Stage? How?.."

"Yes, that's right." She answered back. Solyara then stood up from the desk and walked toward Soren, standing only a meter or so away from him. The infinite strands of anima surrounding Her followed Solyara's every step. She stared silently at the dumbfounded young man and smiled:

"You can use that ability of yours that Sienna told me about if you want to."

He instantly knew what the High Mistress was referring to. Without hesitating, Soren nodded and quickly gave the mental command to his Soul Weapon. It immediately began to levitate in the air, transforming its radiant pages into butterflies that flew into his eyes.

With [Eyes of the Fairy], Soren was finally able to see Her Soul Realm's true form.

And what he saw left him stunned.

An ocean of stars spun like a galaxy, its nebulous clouds forming patterns within the dark. There were countless strange objects within, as if he had been transported into another world, freely floating in the infinite void. The realism of everything he was seeing felt similar to what he had experienced in the Mirror Game.

For a second, Soren almost forgot where he was standing, lost between pleasure and dread. These emotions—they reminded of his arrival in the Beyond, when he first attempted his Astral Projection…

It was only then that he realized—similar to how the poison of Astral Anima corrodes one's own, this space seemed to hold a rather similar property as well… He could feel its immense tug on his soul and the profound whispers only his mind could hear. Terror filled his heart. Soren considered ending his prying then and there, but quickly remembered that Solyara likely wasn't intending to harm him.

If She wanted to, the High Mistress' monstrous anima could easily erase his existence the moment [Eyes of the Fairy] activated… She was likely holding it all back.

Unable to say anything, he finally heard a radiant voice beaming itself into his thoughts:

"This is what we call a Dominion. It forms when a magi's Soul Realm ascends to the Dominion stage. This is how the color of my anima now manifests itself.

"As I said before, the problem isn't the blurring of your sanity, nor is it that your willpower is slowly being redefined… The latter is actually a good thing.

"The real issue is how it's being redefined. Without a lack of control, chaos is inevitably going to take hold. For a 1st and 2nd Circle magi, this is not a problem. The color of your anima isn't fully solidified and can be influenced heavily by your Shades of Self. Since you only possess the Mesmerism affinity, that color has stayed relatively the same.

"For a magi to reach the kindled stage, they must allow that chaos formed from their mixed anima to stabalize… If one were to view that anima like a flame, your Soul Realm is currently akin to a forest fire… You need it to be similar to a candle's wick—radiant and shining, but calm and stable."

He stared endlessly at the dazzling stars orbiting an invisible path.

"But why is this even relevant to me? I'm only in the Infant Stage… I have no reason to reach the Kindled Stage when I haven't even casted my first 2nd Circle spell yet..."

"That would indeed be a logical assumption to make. If you were normal, that is."

Sensing his annoyance, Solyara continued with a slight chuckle:

"As I said before, the Anima Congruence principle dictates that the same anima from different mind spaces will tend to lose their own meaning the moment they are mixed together. That blurring of our cognitive functions causes a certain 'loss' in one's sanity.

"That is why, us magi have to give meaning to this anima on our own. Rather than letting it rot without knowing its own existence, we brew meaning through our Shades of Self and how we wield the affinities they provide us.

"The more one uses a certain affinity, the more your anima will begin to identify with it, giving rise to one's color of anima."

Soren nodded. "That has indeed already happened. The color of my anima takes a distinct form within my Soul Realm."

Solyara's voice echoed in his mind:

"But that is only one's own subconscious control. There is still another element to the puzzle that you hadn't fully grasped yet.

"For those in the Nascent and Infant stages, the color of your anima manifests on its own subconsciously, based on your affinities and your usage of them.

"But to reach the Kindled Stage, we must become more forceful with that definition. A certain keyword must take hold—one that we must adhere to as magi. This is why I said you're afraid of shedding your skin. Losing your sanity is a natural process when it comes to growing as a magi—we must embrace it.

"But with that loss comes a gap—an opening that must be closed with something else. Our own definition of that anima must be formed."