The Villainess Wants Her Prince to Live!

After Regina announced that she was there to see the very shiny blond man, the man himself smiled at Regina… and Regina realized that she had problems.

She did not know then how deep and strange those problems would be.

Perhaps some part of her knew when the blond cocked his head and stared at her with the intensity of a man who had just had a revelation.

"You are," said the blond man, sounding strangely serious, "very lovely."

Regina, who hoped to subtly interrogate this frolicking dandelion to learn more about him and why he would not stop featuring in her dreams, was so taken aback that her words died in her throat.

Regina was not sure even her most beloved cousin had ever called her lovely.

(The best Henrietta ever managed was. “At least you do not have shifty eyes like Cousin Carole. Your arms could use more muscle though. Have you ever considered carrying vases around with me?”)

Before Regina could ask if this blond man frolicked in such strange locations because his poor eyesight prevented him from realizing he was in public, he continued.

"Alas," said the delicate blond dandelion, "Your beautiful expression of disdain and confusion cannot be met with my smile of complete frivolity.”

“Huh?” was Regina’s eloquent response.

“My lady,” the blond beauty gently said, “your attempts to appear less exquisite are obvious. You are a truly virtuous person! I will attempt to conceal my attraction to you as well! After all, you are destined to be my glorious elder brother's bride!"

That was when Regina’s poor, overworked mind put together the blond man’s mention of ‘elder brother’ with her dream of the ‘second prince’ and her recently acquired knowledge of the Alpin family to realize –

"By the blood," said Regina in increasingly dawning horror, "You are Artem Alpin – the second prince of the royal family… and the brother to Crown Prince Aaron!"

“Oh!” cried the very shiny brother of Regina’s would-be-betrayer. “Does that mean you truly fell in love with me at first sight, without knowing my identity?”

Regina’s mouth fell open and shut several times as she tried to understand the current misunderstanding.

‘Does this strange prince,’ she asked herself with mounting fear, ‘truly believe I fell in love with him as soon as we happened to meet?!’

Though her question felt ridiculous, he apparently did if his expression, brighter than his many pieces of gaudy jewelry, meant anything.

"You need not be embarrassed by your ardor,” the blond – Prince Artem Alpin! – said, though he looked much shyer than he previously had.

Then, directing a shy look at her from beneath his long golden lashes, he added, “Though I must know what about me beguiled you so. Was it my exquisite taste in accessories?"

Befuddled and unsure of how to respond, Regina took a long, hard stare at his row of baubles. The brooches were so bright that looking at them was akin to staring into the heart of the sun.

After wincing and turning away, Regina tried to answer in a way that would not give offense.

"Your accessories certainly are… unique," she finally stated, only to be stabbed by guilt when her words were met by another beaming smile from Prince Artem.

To soothe her conscience, Regina added, “They are just as, erm, unique as you are. After all, I do not know many people like you… People who are so... into..."

Prince Artem gave her a curious, eager look beneath his long lashes that almost reminded her of a puppy –

A very, very pretty puppy.

"Frolicking," Regina said, and then hastily added, "Which, by the way, you do wonderfully!"

For a second, a strange expression passed over the face of the puppylike prince before he beamed even more brightly.

"So few people appreciate a good frolicking!" said Prince Artem brightly.

Then he hesitated for a moment before his gaze turned surprisingly soulful. He moved seamlessly from a joyfully frolicking puppy to looking like a puppy that had been denied its treat.

"Is that why you have sought a forbidden love with me instead of my elder brother?"

As Regina’s mouth opened in shock, Artem began speaking more rapidly, obviously warming to the topic.

"Did you hear of my many public adventures where I show the extent of my frolicking abilities? Thus you too wished to leave behind the world of power and politics to gracefully dance like a dandelion seed blowing in the wind?”

‘Well,’ Regina thought in a distant daze, ‘apparently blindness is not the reason that Artem Alpin frolicked in public fountains.’

"Do not fear!" said Prince Artem, obviously taking her confused silence as agreement. "While I have never seen my brother Aaron frolic, I have every confidence that if you stare at him with contempt in those dazzling golden eyes and tell him he needs to dance for your attention, he will-"

Regina suddenly realized that if she did not do something, a death her visions had never predicted was going to arrive.

After all, even if Regina had not foreseen a heart attack induced from the stress of realizing her human fortune telling device believed she was in love with him despite her impending engagement to his brother…

Well, Regina had a feeling her heart was willing to test whether or not Regina could foresee all her potential deaths.

With her poor heart in mind and after taking a deep breath, Regina tried to redirect the conversation.

"While I am... pleased beyond words to meet you," Regina honestly said, "I... I cannot speak more of my feelings for you."

(All of this was true - it was surprisingly difficult to tell a man that you dreamed of him as he frolicked through many bizarre times and places).

The sympathy and understanding in Artem’s gentle gaze made guilt stab at Regina’s soul once more.

"I understand," Artem replied gently. "Ours is a love that can never be. So may I offer you some advice, my lady?”

At Regina’s hesitant nod, Artem went on to say, “While I know you have already been dazzled by my nimble leaps, my brother Aaron also has much to offer! You should speak to him of your frolicking needs! He is very generous and very willing to provide for those around him!"

‘The worst part of this,’ thought Regina as she stared at Artem's wide-eyed and eager face, ‘is that Prince Artem means every word he is saying.’

Someone this light in spirit, in presence and possibly in intelligence seemed like he should have been pruned out of the ruthless Alpin family tree long ago… unless he was simply pretending to be scatter-brained and silly.

Yet from everything she had seen in her dreams, Artem Alpin was exactly what he presented. Artem Alpin was a man who was kind and lively and joyous and somehow had not been murdered despite being second in line for the throne.

Yet how could this be? This... this delicate dandelion of a prince had the worst sense of self-preservation Regina had ever seen based on how he was willing to share sensitive information about the crown prince with a complete stranger during their first meeting.

What’s more, Artem had not even asked how or why Regina would have learned about his frolicking to be attracted to it! After all, there were few or any places Artem had frolicked in her dreams that would have been appropriate for a young noble lady.

Yet Artem had assumed Regina had known of him from more than just rumors, despite her slip of the tongue when she had first seen him.

It all lent even more strength to the idea that Regina’s dreams truly foretold the future…

In spite of this, Regina continued to hold onto a small sliver of hope that she had been mistaken and that somehow she had just heard of the strange Prince Artem and made up her dreams herself.

Thus, Regina resolved to ask some very pointed questions about Prince Artem’s past frolics and to prove that this goldfish puppy could not truly be the man of her dreams!

"So," Regina said, with the delicate smoothness of an inbred shut-in who had never spoken to someone outside her family estate until this party, "I need to know everything I can about you. Exactly where did you frolic over the last few weeks?"

A strange expression passed over Prince Artem's face once again before he smiled even more brightly.

"Do you need additional areas to frolic?” he cheerfully enquired. “Mother tells me that young ladies are much more constrained when frolicking, so I would not recommend the harbor. The crates were very prone to shifting there."

Regina could not help but grab Prince Artem by the lapels, even though she knew she was courting death by lese-majesty. However Regina was so, so very tired and she needed to know if this dandelion nightmare was the one who was preventing her from sleeping.

"Yes!" she cried, as she remembered one of her earliest dreams of him frolicking near the harbor as a ship came into view. "I -- I absolutely love the harbor! I love crates! I love waves! I especially love ships and their very interesting names! In fact…"

Smiling maniacally, she asked, "What is the name of the last ship you saw on your frolics, Prince Artem? Please share it with me!"

Regina barely noticed the way Prince Artem's ears turned a delicate pink that spread down under his collar as she impatiently waited for her answer.

Fortunately, the dandelion prince seemed surprisingly eager to discuss many things related to the water.

“You are interested in nautical matters, my lady?” he chirped brightly. “Well I am not sure why you are so interested in the Poopdeck Princess -”

Regina felt Prince Artem suddenly slip through her nerveless hands as she stumbled backwards.

That… that was not the name of the boat she had seen in her earlier vision of Prince Artem.

So had she really just imagined – ?!

Yet her hands were suddenly full of Prince Artem's collar again, as if he had magically slipped himself back into her grasp.

When he next spoke, his voice was surprisingly desperate.

"-But of course,” he cried, “you are not referring to a rough dinghy! You would be most interested in a boat that provided some motion in the ocean – such as the Prince's Seaduction!"

Regina felt as if she was speaking from far away, her grip once again tightening on Prince Artem's collar.

"Why," she asked, hearing her voice as if coming from a different plane, "do sailors make all the boats have rude references to royalty?"

…Rude references to royalty that she had already seen in her dreams.

"Perhaps," said the dandelion prince, looking surprisingly hopeful for someone who could barely breathe, "because they too wish to frolic with me?"

Swallowing hard, Regina saw her chance at another question and grabbed it as she had grabbed her newfound prince.

"Who would not love to frolic" she desperately asked, "with you by their side? I would absolutely love to frolic through hills and valleys and also, incidentally, town centers where important news about public works are shared!"

Smiling frantically, Regina added, "Perhaps you have heard of important public works in your recent frolicking? I would love to know more if so!"

"Well," said Prince Artem, a visible moment of hesitation passing over his face, "perhaps this kind of frolicking conversation would be better had with my elder brother? Aaron does a very nice stiff-stepped hop when he is startled in public spaces-"

Regina tightened her grip, her eyes narrowing.

"Tell. Me. About. Public. Works."

Somewhere, in the back of her mind, Regina realized that she could lose everything she had worked so hard to build with her objectively insane behavior toward a bloody prince –

But she could not stop herself.

Even stranger was that Artem, who flashed a very strange smile before he returned to his usual bright grin, did not seem willing to stop her either.

"Well," Artem said with remarkable cheer for a man being held by his lapels, "I did enjoy the recent declaration of the Lead and Circuses campaign where the La Belles sponsored circuses in the capital and everyone got a small commemorative lead toy for attending-"

Regina's face fell.

"--But not as much as I enjoyed my own family's promotion of Bread and Carcasses where the Alpins offered free bread to anyone who was willing to help bury the people who were not sufficiently productive–"

Regina said very softly, "--But only unproductive people who were, of course, already dead. That part was emphasized repeatedly."

"Of course it was," said Artem, just as softly.

Regina had seen that particular Alpin promotion in her dreams... but that was not the only public work where she had seen Artem frolicking.

Quietly, she added, "At the least, we can hope that no orphans find themselves in the ranks of unproductive Carcosans now that we have a new way to house parentless children."

Prince Artem smiled. “Yes, there was a glorious opening for the new orphanage... built to celebrate my brother's upcoming engagement."

Prince Artem had not moved – was if anything even closer than previously – but Regina felt strangely as if his sweet, enthusiastic smile was somehow challenging her.

"Nothing," Regina said firmly in response to that smile, "is done until the very end."

For a second, Prince Artem looked almost confused. "I… have never thought of it that way."

“Surprisingly few people do,” Regina said. “Thankfully, I am the exception.”

Either way, Regina realized that she was probably creating more problems than she was solving with her interrogation tactics and let go of the prince's lapels –

Even if Prince Artem seemed to suspiciously sway towards her as she did.

‘I can,’ she wearily thought, ‘confirm everything else in just a few more sentences.’

After all, it was not as if she could avoid the truth any longer.

"You know," Regina said, her manic energy deserting her as an odd calm settled over her, "I have one last question."

She looked at Prince Artem from beneath her eyelashes, willing herself to act like the bosom-heaving women in Henrietta’s romance novels if it would help her get her answers.

Unfortunately, Regina nearly forgot her question entirely when Prince Artem started a slowly forming blush. However, Regina had come too far to be distracted by pretty dandelion men.

“Prince Artem,” she asked breathily, “do you ever follow… horse races?”

Unfortunately, instead of confirming her final vision, Prince Artem just looked at Regina… in complete bafflement.

"The stands of a horse race,” he slowly said as his tone grew more heated, “are the opposite of an ideal place for frolicking! How could anyone frolic while pretending to care about tiny men riding around and screaming… and that is not even counting the jockeys!"

Regina did not even bother feeling confused or shaken.

She already understood what was about to happen.

"In spite of terrifying tiny men," said Regina calmly, "you went to a horse race recently, did you not?"

Artem frowned for a second before his face brightened.

“Well,” he cheerfully said, “it was not exactly the race but that lovely green in the middle of the track that was so delightful for dancing and had all those lovely pink flowers with lacy interiors-"

"Who won?" Regina interrupted, intently staring the prince in the eyes. "Who won?"

Artem blinked, his throat bobbing as he swallowed, even as his gaze never left hers.

"Prince's Charm," he softly stated.

Regina had to laugh harshly at that before she could speak once again.

"When," Regina said cynically, "does the prince not win?"

It appeared that she had finally met the very shiny blonde man of her literal dreams... and it would not help her in the least.

Too tired to pretend to be social, Regina murmured, “Never mind. Who knows what this meeting even means? Maybe you just cast some strange magic to disrupt your elder brother’s inheritance and I was caught in the middle.”

Yet any remaining cynicism she had about the prince’s motives died when he surged forward to stand barely a breath from her, his own gaze suddenly burning.

"I would never," Prince Artem said in a voice so serious and sincere that it made the hairs on the back of Regina's neck stand on end, "dream of challenging Aaron for his position. Whatever else you know of me, my lady, know that this is real.”

When Regina gazed into Prince Artem’s serious but sincere blue eyes… Regina knew that no one could be that good of an actor.

So, ashamed of her unfair accusation towards a man who had done her no wrong besides showing up in her dreams, Regina mumbled an apology.

Prince Artem just shook his head in turn, looking both sorrowful and resigned.

“I should be the one to apologize,” he said, his voice so gentle and kind that Regina had to fight back tears. "After all, I know that you wish to frolic with me… but are upset that our joyful bounding can never be. I only wish I could help you without hurting my brother. Perhaps I can-”

Yet Regina would never know what Prince Artem intended to offer because they were interrupted by the sudden sound of a large number of rapidly approaching footsteps-

“So you thought,” said one of them with a large sneer, “that you could get away with harassing the future bride of your elder brother?”

The goldfish had a surprisingly blank look on his face as Regina watched in horror as another-Regina was pulled out from the group of men.

Regina suddenly remembered why she had initially planned not to go out into the garden.

With strength she had not realized she possessed, Regina grabbed Prince Artem by the shoulders before throwing the poor man into the nearest hedge like a sack of potatoes…

…and dove right in after him.