chapter 131 - My Seventh Life
“I saw Harriet. Thanks for making our ‘little sister’ so cute.”
When Rishe narrowed her eyes in a flat glare, Raul’s grin only grew satisfied.
“Good eyes. That look is very much my type.”
“….”
At last his hand left her mouth, and Rishe found her words.
“Behaving like this in Prince Curtis’s skin—what do you think you’re doing?”
“That voice too. I want you to scold me more.”
“…This is going nowhere.”
She let out a sigh from the bottom of her chest at Raul’s relentless joking.
In her hunter life, he’d been someone she could rely on when it counted. To find him this troublesome when he wasn’t an ally—she was honestly taken aback.
“Hey, you.”
Still pinning her to the wall, Raul leaned in to peer at her face.
“—Don’t go showing Harriet any new world.”
“…What did you say?”
Unacceptable words. Rishe shot back head-on.
But Raul carried on in a light tone.
“I’m saying don’t be cruel. The way she is—that’s a survival tactic. Make it her fault, shut the outside out. As long as she does what her mother taught, she won’t have to notice she’s in a rotten place.”
“…”
“If she learns the happiness of facing forward… then going back to her fiancé and returning to a life of compliance—that’ll feel unbearable, won’t it?”
He strung it in a bright voice, smiling all the while.
“Or is that the play?”
“…A play?”
“Naturally—to break Harriet’s heart.”
The thought never even occurred to her; Rishe’s eyes flew wide.
“I said it before—your eyes are really good. You take in what a person is proud of, what they’re ashamed of, what they cling to at the end… You grasp it, slip inside their heart, don’t you?”
Raul’s face, already too close, drifted even nearer.
“For the sake of what’s precious, for pride, for a brighter future—once you see them, people you’ve seen through seem to want to have hope.”
Rishe grimaced and shoved at his shoulder, but the man’s body didn’t budge.
He chuckled, as if to mock her resistance, watching her in high spirits.
“That’s good—very good. …Because, you know—”
His red eyes speared her, a dark light lodging there.
“It feels like breaking someone’s heart would be very easy for you.”
“…”
“Listen, Raul.”
In the mindset of that hunter life, she admonished her former Head.
“You should stop that. As much as you can.”
“Stop what?”
“Lying to yourself even where it has nothing to do with the job.”
At that, Raul’s breath caught for a beat.
“—What are you—”
“It’s not a perfect lie. And it’s not pure truth either. …You keep mixing truth into a lie, mixing a lie into what’s true, until sometimes even you can’t tell anymore, can you?”
It was something she had told him even in that hunter life.
Raul’s manner was breezy, seemingly without a core. Their comrades had laughed that it was his brand of frivolity—but to Rishe, it sometimes looked different.
Smiling like it didn’t hurt when it did.
Acting cool when what he wanted to show was honest anger.
No doubt, just like then, he’ll dodge with a ‘I don’t do that’…
Imagining that Raul, Rishe felt a knot of complicated feeling.
What came back, however, wasn’t what she’d seen in the fifth life.
“…If someone sees right through your real feelings,” Raul murmured, eyes narrowed, voice small as a thread, “don’t you think that’s the end of everything?”
“!”
Rishe blinked despite herself.
She’d assumed nothing of this would reach him—but unexpectedly, that voice, stripped of gloss, sounded inches from her.
“I’m far more afraid of someone else knowing everything. …More than I am of my own true feelings turning to mush.”
“…!”
Was it because, in this life, she was still someone else to him that Raul could say this?
“Don’t you think so too?”
Rishe received that hollow ring in his voice and answered.
“No.”
What rose in her mind was Arnold’s profile on the beach earlier that day.
“There are people you find yourself thinking, I wish I could say everything, I want this person to know my secrets.”
“But you haven’t told him.”
Pressed, her words stuck.
“Which means you do understand that telling the truth can disadvantage you, right? And yet you’re only scolding me—how cruel.”
“…Raul.”
Those red eyes fixed on her, probing.
“What is marrying the Galkhein crown prince to you?”
“…”
She blinked.
“In a political marriage, what does the girl even feel? Do you dream some old acquaintance shows up mid-ceremony to whisk you away?”
“…What would you even do with the answer?”
“You’re dense.”
Raul smiled with that sweet, well-formed face, his voice a shade husky.
“If you don’t want to marry the crown prince, I’m thinking I’ll steal you.”
“….”
Rishe was honestly exasperated and let out a bigger sigh.
If anyone overheard, it would spiral into a diplomatic incident.
She kept shoving at his shoulder with all her might; her arms started to tremble and go numb, but she looked up at him as if nothing was wrong.
“I told you to stop that kind of act.”
“I’m actually worried, you know? In a marriage for strategy, no one looks out for the bride’s happiness.”
To that, Rishe answered clearly.
“I have never once wished for him to make me happy.”
A distorted smile crept over Raul’s face.
“…Huh?”
“The way I live happily is something I make myself. Even if marrying him brings whatever calamity down on me, I don’t ◈ Nоvеlіgһт ◈ (Continue reading) believe that makes me unhappy.”
Even if she were drawn into a great war.
Even if it meant she died for it.
Just like every other life, she would never think, in this life as the crown prince’s bride, I shouldn’t have chosen this path.
If she could reach an end without regret, then it would without doubt be a happy life.
“I don’t yet know what meaning this marriage will take on for me. But even if he breaks the engagement, I’ve already decided I won’t leave his side.”
So no: she would never wish to be stolen away.
“I will be his bride. —I have already chosen how I will live this life.”
She leveled that will at Raul; he smiled faintly.
“…!”
It wasn’t Raul’s face that had been there till now.
It was the smile Curtis would wear.
In that instant, she sensed a third party drawing near.
That she hadn’t noticed until now was likely because Raul had skillfully hooked and held her awareness.
“Your Highness Arnold…”
Naming the person who appeared, Rishe knit her brows.
At present, Raul had her pinned to the wall.
His hand gripped her shoulder hard; his face was leaning in, far too close.
“…”
Blue eyes locked straight onto Raul.
In the next moment, the air went taut with a brittle sting that sent a shiver up Rishe’s spine.