NOVEL NEXT The villain is also very good today
Chapter 311 You Are The Gentle Light In The World (52)
Chapter 311 You Are The Gentle Light In The World (52)
That feeling, how can I say it?
Just very helpless, very powerless, and vaguely knew in his heart that he might not be able to go on.
In fact, in this case, he had already been mentally prepared.
After all, the doctor had already diagnosed him a long time ago. He was congenitally deficient, so his body's resistance was extremely poor.Being so weak has caused many complications.You may die at any time, it may be today, it may be tomorrow, if you are lucky, it may be several years later...
People who have been ill for a long time are actually the most painful to die.
Because other people die without warning, and it is impossible to predict your own death.
But people who have been ill for a long time can control all the abnormalities in their bodies, know that their bones are getting worse little by little, and know when they will probably not be able to survive.
Predicting death, and then watching myself step by step towards death.
Even self-help, are unable to save.
Because the doctor has said long ago that there is no cure for medicine and stone.
Every time before being admitted to the ICU, Gu Xishi would experience symptoms such as lethargy, chest tightness and shortness of breath. He would usually be lucky and not have such a strong sense of foreboding.
But this time, Gu Xishi's heart seemed to sink to the bottom of the lake.
Cool.
There was no heat, his body became cold inch by inch, and he didn't even dare to reach out to hug Fan Xing when he was sleeping at night, for fear that she would be cooled by him.
Carefully trace Fanxing's eyebrows with the tip of her index finger...
Stars, my stars.
In the past, I always heard people say that I was born before I was born, and I am old when I was born. This is the most powerless thing in the world.
He didn't know until now that what really makes people feel helpless in this world is the difference between us in a healthy body.
The age gap can still be bridged.
But the distance between life and death is really helpless.
"Fanxing, I have a hunch that I might not be able to survive this winter." Gu Xishi did not choose to hide it.
The sudden and long death with others made Fan Xing unprepared.It's better to take advantage of this last time to prepare her psychologically a little bit, so that it won't be completely unacceptable when the time comes.
Fanxing pursed her lips, and after glancing at Gu Xishi, she lowered her head stubbornly.
Don't listen, don't listen, Xiao Huahua recites scriptures.
As long as she doesn't listen, it means that Gu Xishi will not die.
"When you touch my body, the temperature is almost gone." Gu Xishi took Fan Xing's hand, put it under his clothes, and pressed it against his body.
Obviously he was talking about such a heavy topic about his own life and death, but he was like a persuasive and persuasive teacher, very calm and self-possessed.
"So I think death should be very close to me. This is an inevitable thing, Fan Xing, we can't escape, do you understand?"
People can only go on if they face it bravely.
The more you escape, the more you can't break free from the quagmire.
If Fanxing can face his death, he may find someone he likes in the future, support each other, and spend his life.
She has always avoided, and she will never even think about getting out in this life.
Although Gu Xishi knew Fanxing well, he still underestimated the degree of paranoia of the little bear cub.Fanxing herself is a besieged city, only she can open a door to let people in, she has never been able to get out...
"Gu Xishi, villain!" Fan Xing cursed sullenly with his head bowed.
"Fan Xing, for me, death has never been the scariest thing. I think the truly terrible thing in this world is that I have never met you in this life." Life is never measured in terms of length. What happened with him is the true meaning of his life.
For more than twenty years, he was in a daze, waiting for death.
Meeting Fan Xing was the real beginning of his life.
He even has a feeling...
This life was obtained by his force.
And it's a scheming effort, at all costs, to force it.If it wasn't for force, Fan Xing would have no chance with him.
His physical strength is probably the price of forcing.
This vague feeling made him feel grateful even if he died.I am grateful that in this life, he can meet his little star.
"I don't want to talk to you." Fanxing pursed her mouth and sniffed, trying not to cry.
"You like me so much, you won't be willing to ignore me." Gu Xishi touched her face.
Now that the future is known, accept it calmly.
Death is not terrible, what is terrible is that indulging in it, but wasting the last time together.
*
The weather is getting colder and it's winter.
During these two or three months, Gu Xishi was so calm that he didn't seem like a person whose life was about to burn out.
Every day when I wake up, I habitually kiss Fan Xing's forehead.He became less and less energetic, sometimes nestled on the bed with Fan Xing in his arms for a whole day.
Fan Xing feels that Gu Xishi is like ice, cool.
At the beginning, his embrace was still a little bit warm.She hugged him so that she could transmit the temperature of her body to him.
But later on, the coldness on his body became heavier.Even if she was hot all over, when she hugged Gu Xi, she couldn't make him any warmer.
So not only cherish time, even Fan Xing gradually felt it...
That kind of vitality is gradually lost.
Fanxing feels that when she hugs Gu Xi, it's like hugging a porcelain doll.
If you hold it too lightly, you may lose your cherished time.But if I hug him too hard, I'm worried that Gu Xishi is so fragile that he will accidentally kill him.
So every time when Gu Xishi fell into a drowsy sleep, the cub opened his eyes in confusion.
The confusion of death, the fear of loss.
She was very afraid of losing her cherished time, but she couldn't do anything.
Gu Xishi seemed to be very afraid of her being sad, so he told her over and over again that he was not afraid of death, in fact he was already mentally prepared, and sooner or later he was going to die.
She wanted Gu Xishi to feel at ease, so she pretended that she was not afraid at all.
Lie a lie to Gu Xishi.
Qi He, she is lost.
Xu Ruiqing, she is lost.
Xie Zhan, she is lost.
Qin Lie, she lost.
Now, it's time for her to lose her cherishment.
The previous feelings were pulled away, Fan Xing just felt empty in her heart when she thought about it now, but when she thought of losing her cherishment, she felt a burst of pain in her heart.
The little bear stared blankly at the eyebrows and eyes of Gu Xishi who was lying beside him, watching...
Suddenly a tear fell silently.
For the first time, a kind of grievance and bewilderment spontaneously emerged.
why?
She didn't want to own many things, she just wanted to raise a little flower, why did she have to lose it every time?
Gu Xishi clearly told her that God is very fair, if God gives a person good luck, he will take back another thing.For example, he was born better than most people, so his health was taken away.
But her IQ is lower than most people, so what did God give her?
She obviously doesn't have anything, why would she pick things out of her hands?
Is it because she's a little monster?
Everyone in this world hates little monsters, so little monsters don't deserve fairness, nothing.Including, Xiaohuahua.
But she didn't want to be a little monster either, she was born a little monster, what can she do?
Confused, hesitant, puzzled, doubtful.
If there is nothing she wants in this world from beginning to end, then it doesn't matter whether it is fair or not.Even if she is still that little monster locked in a cage, she will not think about whether the world is fair to her.As long as she can dig a tunnel and eat candied haws occasionally, she will be very happy.
But finally, she also has what she wants...
So I started to learn to think.
why?
Why not be a little fairer to her?
The little monster also wants to have someone he likes.
Fanxing tilted her head, blinked her eyes, and the teardrops on her curled eyelashes trembled.The ignorant expression was tainted with a hint of sinister and coquettish, the unsatisfaction of these worlds finally turned into a paranoid seed, which took root and sprouted in the bottom of my heart——
The little monster wants someone he likes.
But no one gave a chance.
Gu Xishi said that God is fair, but it is not.
God will not give the little monster a chance at all, the chance is to be won by oneself.Fair too.
In fact, God is no different from other people, they are all bullying and fearing hard.
When she was weak, everyone bullied her, and so did God.
When she was fierce, the little monster turned into a big monster, and everyone would be afraid of her, even God.
Fan Xing's head moved slowly, like a slow robot, as if he had opened his mind bit by bit...
She was obedient and never had a chance to seek justice.
Then... you're not good.
*
At the end of December, there is still more than a month before the Chinese New Year.
Gu Xishi was completely cold.
This time it was really cold from head to toe.
She still breathes when she sleeps at night, and when Fan Xing sleeps in her arms until midnight, her heart stops beating completely.He passed away in his sleep, and he didn't even say a word to Fanxing before he died.
"Gu Xishi." Fanxing poked Gu Xishi's waist and called out.
Didn't get any response.
Fan Xing stayed there for a long time, tears kept rolling in her eyes, she blinked her eyes in a panic to keep the tears from flowing out.
When the cub hugged Gu Xi with extreme paranoia, he hugged him tightly.
As if as long as he hugged him tightly enough, Gu Xishi would not die.
Fan Xing slept with Gu Xishi's body in his arms until the next morning.
Gu Han didn't know how insane he had to be to be able to hold his brother's body for more than ten hours in such a calm and calm manner.
"Gu Xishi died." Fan Xing kept repeating this sentence over and over again.
After several months of laying the groundwork, Gu Han has basically been able to accept the fact that his brother left... What a ghost!
I can't fucking accept it!
But in the last few months of his brother's life, Fan Xing was the most worrying thing.
Even if Gu Han was in grief, he had to help his brother take care of Fan Xingxian.
Gu Han originally thought that Fan Xing would immediately collapse emotionally, and even prepared a tranquilizer...
If you really can't suppress it, give it a shot first.
As a result, Fan Xing was calmer than anyone else.
To be more precise, she was quiet.
Apart from sleeping with the dead body all night, which was scary, there seemed to be nothing unusual.
She just kept staring at his brother's corpse, and since the beginning of the funeral, she has been sitting by the coffin, refusing to move a step.
I moved a small stool to sit behind the coffin, and when people came to express their condolences, they suddenly saw a black head popping up next to it, and almost died on the spot.
The Gu family's funeral was very traditional, they paid attention to burial, and did not plan to cremate.
In the middle of the night, when the mourning hall needs to be guarded by others, Fan Xing quietly crawls into the coffin to lie down with Gu Xishi when everyone else can't bear to go to sleep.
"Gu Xishi, mine." Fan Xing held Gu Xishi's hand, very paranoid.
"Life after life, it's all mine!"
"Don't be afraid, I can find you. I am powerful and can find you."
Even more powerful than Ergou!
Ergou can't recognize you, but Little Xingxing can!
The funeral took place for five days, and Fan Xing slept in a coffin for five days.
Gu Han actually knew about this all along, but he just turned a blind eye to it.After all, his brother is gone, and he is the only one in this world who can take care of my sister-in-law.
Still pay more attention.
While waiting for the coffin to be closed, Gu Han made a special inspection...
It was confirmed that Fan Xing was not lying in it, so the coffin was closed.
Sometimes being too calm is not necessarily a good thing. The calmer some people are, the more shocking things they can do.
Gu Xishi was buried in a cemetery in the suburbs.
Everyone felt that the Gu family was jealous of the talents.With that kind of mind, if he inherits the Gu family, it's unknown what kind of giant the Gu family will develop into.
And the real relatives have nothing to think about except being sad.
After Gu Xishi was buried, Fanxing changed from staring at the coffin to staring at the tombstone.
After everyone has left, sit behind the tombstone, hold the dog leash in your hand, and keep guard with the dog...
"Gu Xishi, I miss you."
She remembered that when she first came to this world, she didn't understand many things, and Gu Xishi patiently taught her.
He is so pretty, she has never seen such a gentle and gentle little wild flower.
Good-looking, gentle, and smart.
She has never met anyone who is better than Gu Xishi.
It is very cold in winter, and the dogs are whimpering and restless from the cold.
After Fan Xing sat for a whole day, her lips turned black when she saw it, but she kept her head tilted and maintained the original movement.
The dog tugged on the rope desperately, and it seemed that it was too cold and wanted to run.
After being pulled twice, Fanxing simply loosened the rope.
The dog that had been raised for a year barked and ran away quickly, not knowing where to hide in a corner to avoid the wind and snow.
Fanxing lowered her eyes slightly, and said to herself, "Look, Gu Xishi, you are lying."
Gu Xishi said that after he leaves, Rourou will be her friend who can always accompany her.
As it turns out, no.
Dogs can also run away, so it is impossible to replace Gu Xishi.
"The little monster's parents and sister don't like the little monster. Other people don't like it either. Dogs, too. The little monster is just a little star of Gu Xishi, and it won't be someone else's..."
She could have endured the darkness if she had never seen the light.
She could have tolerated all the injustices in this world, if she had never met the person she wanted to fight for...
Have you ever seen the most gentle man in the world?
His name is Gu Xishi.
He is the light that belongs to the stars alone, and the only ray.
It illuminated her ignorant world, led her stumbling out of the abyss of ignorance, and made her want to take the initiative to like, pursue, and protect the love in her heart for the first time.
This chapter is 4000 words, and there is a side story...
(End of this chapter)
That feeling, how can I say it?
Just very helpless, very powerless, and vaguely knew in his heart that he might not be able to go on.
In fact, in this case, he had already been mentally prepared.
After all, the doctor had already diagnosed him a long time ago. He was congenitally deficient, so his body's resistance was extremely poor.Being so weak has caused many complications.You may die at any time, it may be today, it may be tomorrow, if you are lucky, it may be several years later...
People who have been ill for a long time are actually the most painful to die.
Because other people die without warning, and it is impossible to predict your own death.
But people who have been ill for a long time can control all the abnormalities in their bodies, know that their bones are getting worse little by little, and know when they will probably not be able to survive.
Predicting death, and then watching myself step by step towards death.
Even self-help, are unable to save.
Because the doctor has said long ago that there is no cure for medicine and stone.
Every time before being admitted to the ICU, Gu Xishi would experience symptoms such as lethargy, chest tightness and shortness of breath. He would usually be lucky and not have such a strong sense of foreboding.
But this time, Gu Xishi's heart seemed to sink to the bottom of the lake.
Cool.
There was no heat, his body became cold inch by inch, and he didn't even dare to reach out to hug Fan Xing when he was sleeping at night, for fear that she would be cooled by him.
Carefully trace Fanxing's eyebrows with the tip of her index finger...
Stars, my stars.
In the past, I always heard people say that I was born before I was born, and I am old when I was born. This is the most powerless thing in the world.
He didn't know until now that what really makes people feel helpless in this world is the difference between us in a healthy body.
The age gap can still be bridged.
But the distance between life and death is really helpless.
"Fanxing, I have a hunch that I might not be able to survive this winter." Gu Xishi did not choose to hide it.
The sudden and long death with others made Fan Xing unprepared.It's better to take advantage of this last time to prepare her psychologically a little bit, so that it won't be completely unacceptable when the time comes.
Fanxing pursed her lips, and after glancing at Gu Xishi, she lowered her head stubbornly.
Don't listen, don't listen, Xiao Huahua recites scriptures.
As long as she doesn't listen, it means that Gu Xishi will not die.
"When you touch my body, the temperature is almost gone." Gu Xishi took Fan Xing's hand, put it under his clothes, and pressed it against his body.
Obviously he was talking about such a heavy topic about his own life and death, but he was like a persuasive and persuasive teacher, very calm and self-possessed.
"So I think death should be very close to me. This is an inevitable thing, Fan Xing, we can't escape, do you understand?"
People can only go on if they face it bravely.
The more you escape, the more you can't break free from the quagmire.
If Fanxing can face his death, he may find someone he likes in the future, support each other, and spend his life.
She has always avoided, and she will never even think about getting out in this life.
Although Gu Xishi knew Fanxing well, he still underestimated the degree of paranoia of the little bear cub.Fanxing herself is a besieged city, only she can open a door to let people in, she has never been able to get out...
"Gu Xishi, villain!" Fan Xing cursed sullenly with his head bowed.
"Fan Xing, for me, death has never been the scariest thing. I think the truly terrible thing in this world is that I have never met you in this life." Life is never measured in terms of length. What happened with him is the true meaning of his life.
For more than twenty years, he was in a daze, waiting for death.
Meeting Fan Xing was the real beginning of his life.
He even has a feeling...
This life was obtained by his force.
And it's a scheming effort, at all costs, to force it.If it wasn't for force, Fan Xing would have no chance with him.
His physical strength is probably the price of forcing.
This vague feeling made him feel grateful even if he died.I am grateful that in this life, he can meet his little star.
"I don't want to talk to you." Fanxing pursed her mouth and sniffed, trying not to cry.
"You like me so much, you won't be willing to ignore me." Gu Xishi touched her face.
Now that the future is known, accept it calmly.
Death is not terrible, what is terrible is that indulging in it, but wasting the last time together.
*
The weather is getting colder and it's winter.
During these two or three months, Gu Xishi was so calm that he didn't seem like a person whose life was about to burn out.
Every day when I wake up, I habitually kiss Fan Xing's forehead.He became less and less energetic, sometimes nestled on the bed with Fan Xing in his arms for a whole day.
Fan Xing feels that Gu Xishi is like ice, cool.
At the beginning, his embrace was still a little bit warm.She hugged him so that she could transmit the temperature of her body to him.
But later on, the coldness on his body became heavier.Even if she was hot all over, when she hugged Gu Xi, she couldn't make him any warmer.
So not only cherish time, even Fan Xing gradually felt it...
That kind of vitality is gradually lost.
Fanxing feels that when she hugs Gu Xi, it's like hugging a porcelain doll.
If you hold it too lightly, you may lose your cherished time.But if I hug him too hard, I'm worried that Gu Xishi is so fragile that he will accidentally kill him.
So every time when Gu Xishi fell into a drowsy sleep, the cub opened his eyes in confusion.
The confusion of death, the fear of loss.
She was very afraid of losing her cherished time, but she couldn't do anything.
Gu Xishi seemed to be very afraid of her being sad, so he told her over and over again that he was not afraid of death, in fact he was already mentally prepared, and sooner or later he was going to die.
She wanted Gu Xishi to feel at ease, so she pretended that she was not afraid at all.
Lie a lie to Gu Xishi.
Qi He, she is lost.
Xu Ruiqing, she is lost.
Xie Zhan, she is lost.
Qin Lie, she lost.
Now, it's time for her to lose her cherishment.
The previous feelings were pulled away, Fan Xing just felt empty in her heart when she thought about it now, but when she thought of losing her cherishment, she felt a burst of pain in her heart.
The little bear stared blankly at the eyebrows and eyes of Gu Xishi who was lying beside him, watching...
Suddenly a tear fell silently.
For the first time, a kind of grievance and bewilderment spontaneously emerged.
why?
She didn't want to own many things, she just wanted to raise a little flower, why did she have to lose it every time?
Gu Xishi clearly told her that God is very fair, if God gives a person good luck, he will take back another thing.For example, he was born better than most people, so his health was taken away.
But her IQ is lower than most people, so what did God give her?
She obviously doesn't have anything, why would she pick things out of her hands?
Is it because she's a little monster?
Everyone in this world hates little monsters, so little monsters don't deserve fairness, nothing.Including, Xiaohuahua.
But she didn't want to be a little monster either, she was born a little monster, what can she do?
Confused, hesitant, puzzled, doubtful.
If there is nothing she wants in this world from beginning to end, then it doesn't matter whether it is fair or not.Even if she is still that little monster locked in a cage, she will not think about whether the world is fair to her.As long as she can dig a tunnel and eat candied haws occasionally, she will be very happy.
But finally, she also has what she wants...
So I started to learn to think.
why?
Why not be a little fairer to her?
The little monster also wants to have someone he likes.
Fanxing tilted her head, blinked her eyes, and the teardrops on her curled eyelashes trembled.The ignorant expression was tainted with a hint of sinister and coquettish, the unsatisfaction of these worlds finally turned into a paranoid seed, which took root and sprouted in the bottom of my heart——
The little monster wants someone he likes.
But no one gave a chance.
Gu Xishi said that God is fair, but it is not.
God will not give the little monster a chance at all, the chance is to be won by oneself.Fair too.
In fact, God is no different from other people, they are all bullying and fearing hard.
When she was weak, everyone bullied her, and so did God.
When she was fierce, the little monster turned into a big monster, and everyone would be afraid of her, even God.
Fan Xing's head moved slowly, like a slow robot, as if he had opened his mind bit by bit...
She was obedient and never had a chance to seek justice.
Then... you're not good.
*
At the end of December, there is still more than a month before the Chinese New Year.
Gu Xishi was completely cold.
This time it was really cold from head to toe.
She still breathes when she sleeps at night, and when Fan Xing sleeps in her arms until midnight, her heart stops beating completely.He passed away in his sleep, and he didn't even say a word to Fanxing before he died.
"Gu Xishi." Fanxing poked Gu Xishi's waist and called out.
Didn't get any response.
Fan Xing stayed there for a long time, tears kept rolling in her eyes, she blinked her eyes in a panic to keep the tears from flowing out.
When the cub hugged Gu Xi with extreme paranoia, he hugged him tightly.
As if as long as he hugged him tightly enough, Gu Xishi would not die.
Fan Xing slept with Gu Xishi's body in his arms until the next morning.
Gu Han didn't know how insane he had to be to be able to hold his brother's body for more than ten hours in such a calm and calm manner.
"Gu Xishi died." Fan Xing kept repeating this sentence over and over again.
After several months of laying the groundwork, Gu Han has basically been able to accept the fact that his brother left... What a ghost!
I can't fucking accept it!
But in the last few months of his brother's life, Fan Xing was the most worrying thing.
Even if Gu Han was in grief, he had to help his brother take care of Fan Xingxian.
Gu Han originally thought that Fan Xing would immediately collapse emotionally, and even prepared a tranquilizer...
If you really can't suppress it, give it a shot first.
As a result, Fan Xing was calmer than anyone else.
To be more precise, she was quiet.
Apart from sleeping with the dead body all night, which was scary, there seemed to be nothing unusual.
She just kept staring at his brother's corpse, and since the beginning of the funeral, she has been sitting by the coffin, refusing to move a step.
I moved a small stool to sit behind the coffin, and when people came to express their condolences, they suddenly saw a black head popping up next to it, and almost died on the spot.
The Gu family's funeral was very traditional, they paid attention to burial, and did not plan to cremate.
In the middle of the night, when the mourning hall needs to be guarded by others, Fan Xing quietly crawls into the coffin to lie down with Gu Xishi when everyone else can't bear to go to sleep.
"Gu Xishi, mine." Fan Xing held Gu Xishi's hand, very paranoid.
"Life after life, it's all mine!"
"Don't be afraid, I can find you. I am powerful and can find you."
Even more powerful than Ergou!
Ergou can't recognize you, but Little Xingxing can!
The funeral took place for five days, and Fan Xing slept in a coffin for five days.
Gu Han actually knew about this all along, but he just turned a blind eye to it.After all, his brother is gone, and he is the only one in this world who can take care of my sister-in-law.
Still pay more attention.
While waiting for the coffin to be closed, Gu Han made a special inspection...
It was confirmed that Fan Xing was not lying in it, so the coffin was closed.
Sometimes being too calm is not necessarily a good thing. The calmer some people are, the more shocking things they can do.
Gu Xishi was buried in a cemetery in the suburbs.
Everyone felt that the Gu family was jealous of the talents.With that kind of mind, if he inherits the Gu family, it's unknown what kind of giant the Gu family will develop into.
And the real relatives have nothing to think about except being sad.
After Gu Xishi was buried, Fanxing changed from staring at the coffin to staring at the tombstone.
After everyone has left, sit behind the tombstone, hold the dog leash in your hand, and keep guard with the dog...
"Gu Xishi, I miss you."
She remembered that when she first came to this world, she didn't understand many things, and Gu Xishi patiently taught her.
He is so pretty, she has never seen such a gentle and gentle little wild flower.
Good-looking, gentle, and smart.
She has never met anyone who is better than Gu Xishi.
It is very cold in winter, and the dogs are whimpering and restless from the cold.
After Fan Xing sat for a whole day, her lips turned black when she saw it, but she kept her head tilted and maintained the original movement.
The dog tugged on the rope desperately, and it seemed that it was too cold and wanted to run.
After being pulled twice, Fanxing simply loosened the rope.
The dog that had been raised for a year barked and ran away quickly, not knowing where to hide in a corner to avoid the wind and snow.
Fanxing lowered her eyes slightly, and said to herself, "Look, Gu Xishi, you are lying."
Gu Xishi said that after he leaves, Rourou will be her friend who can always accompany her.
As it turns out, no.
Dogs can also run away, so it is impossible to replace Gu Xishi.
"The little monster's parents and sister don't like the little monster. Other people don't like it either. Dogs, too. The little monster is just a little star of Gu Xishi, and it won't be someone else's..."
She could have endured the darkness if she had never seen the light.
She could have tolerated all the injustices in this world, if she had never met the person she wanted to fight for...
Have you ever seen the most gentle man in the world?
His name is Gu Xishi.
He is the light that belongs to the stars alone, and the only ray.
It illuminated her ignorant world, led her stumbling out of the abyss of ignorance, and made her want to take the initiative to like, pursue, and protect the love in her heart for the first time.
This chapter is 4000 words, and there is a side story...
(End of this chapter)
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